Chapter 13

"Here you are again, sitting alone in your car in the dark, staring at nothing, hearing nothing but your heart shattering and the voices in your head."Randy thought,"Why the fuck do you always choke? Why the hell couldn't you just tell her what she wants to hear? You love her! You know it's true, you stupid idiot!"

He was sitting in his rental car, seething in anger, not on anyone else, but on himself. He held the steering wheel so tightly; if he gripped it tighter he might just break it. He tried to calm himself down, but it's just not working. Not when he was too pissed to listen to himself.

"Let it go, buddy. You lost."

Shut up!

"She's found your replacement!"

I said shut up!

"You'll never get her back now and it's all your fault…choke artist!"

"Shut the fuck up!" He said out loud. "Just shut the fuck up!"

He pushed the backrest of the seat down and put his hands over his face in frustration. He's been playing a guy who hears voices in his head on TV for a while, maybe it's starting to become him for real, he thought.

He told himself repeatedly to try and relax or else he was going to really lose it. Gradually, slowly, he started to simmer down.
But as he let go of his anger, something else took its place.

Something heavier, something he couldn't control as it all rush in. Maybe that was the reason he kept the tough demeanor on and acted out like he's always angry. Because he knew that once he let go of that emotion, then he'd let the sadness in.

He laid there on the seat of his car, with his eyes closed. He felt like a boulder was crushing his chest and it was hard to breathe, and it's getting heavier by the second until he couldn't bear it any longer.

He put his hands on his head, and took a deep breath. As he released the air in his lungs, he let the tears flow from his eyes as well. He let all his frustrations and cooped up emotions out with the warm tears streaming uncontrollably, gushing out, from the corner of his eyes even though they were shut tight.

He allowed himself to feel all the pain he had been hiding inside his heart. He had to clutch at his chest, thinking maybe it will ease the pain that was just too unbearable right at that moment.

He sat there in the darkness, crying his eyes out silently.

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Meanwhile, back at the club…

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"…I guess I was trying to size up the competition." Richard said, "Touch Nightclub's one of the most popular clubs here."

He'd been telling Arianne the whole story about his club from its inception to its fruition. It was a very interesting story, and he was definitely a hard working and determined young man with an inspiring story—if only Arianne was really listening. Her mind was just not there, and quite possibly, neither was her heart.

"It must've been serendipity that I met you there…" Richard's voice trailed when he looked at her and noticed finally that she wasn't really there. He sighed. "So…do you want a drink?" Richard asked. "Arianne?"

"Huh?" She snapped out of her thoughts. "Oh, I'm…I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Richard said. He took two glasses behind him, placed some ice in it and poured some whisky. "I know I'm not a good story teller. I make it sound boring."

Arianne gave him a constrained smile, and he thought she just needed to loosen up a bit, and relax around him. He went around his table and sat at the chair opposite her, and handed her the glass of whiskey.

"Here…" He said, "It's Glen Garioch…very expensive."

She took it and took a sip, and let the liquid flow into her mouth. It burned because it was very strong, but what burns more was the memory that suddenly crept in her psyche.

She remembered that night when she shared a glass of whisky with Randy. She remembered him holding her close as they danced, listening to the music in her I-pod. She remembered it was the first time he'd kissed her—and she kissed him back.

She felt her eyes get warm with the tears bidding to form. She put the glass down slowly on the table, and contritely bowed her head.

"I'm sorry, Richard…" She uttered, "I can't do this."

"Oh, the whisky's too strong?" Richard asked, "I got brandy here instead…if you want."

He was about to stand up but Arianne stopped him. "That's…not what I mean." She said, "I mean this…what I'm doing here. I can't do this anymore…I can't lie to myself and pretend that I want to be here when I know in my heart…where I'd rather be…and who I'd rather be with."

Richard just sat there, looking at his glass. She thought she might've hurt him with what she said, especially since he had been so adamant in getting with her that he even got Cat to help him.

There was a few moment of awkward silence and she though she should just leave, and she was about to until he spoke.

"So you're rejecting me?" He asked.

"I'm really sorry." She said, "I really wanted to try…I wanted to give you a shot…I wanted to give myself a real chance at happiness because I thought it could lie with someone else, but now I realize it doesn't, because my heart just isn't here."

"You think I'll just let you go with a sorry?" Richard said, much to Arianne's surprise. "You don't know me at all, Arianne."

He suddenly grabbed her wrist. "You should've been listening to my story then you'd know that I'm the kind of guy who's used to getting what I want."

"Richard, let go of me!" She said, "I'm warning you."

"What're you gonna do? You're going to scream?" He said, "Nobody can hear you in here Arianne. The music outside's too loud and this room is sound proof!"

She suddenly felt nervous and scared when he said that. What was he gonna do? Had he just tricked her into coming into his office because he was planning to do something to her if she didn't agree to what he wants?

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Back in the car…

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Randy finally got himself to calm down after a while. He thought about going and leaving Ted and Cody behind. He didn't want them to see him the way he looks right then, puffy eyes and all, nor does he want to have to explain anything to them about why he suddenly decided to go out of the club and stay there in their car.

He decided to call them to tell them he was leaving and they could just take a cab. He took his phone out of his pocket but before he could find Ted's number, it rang. It was Cody.

"Yeah?"

"Randy, where are you?" Cody asked, tensed.

"Just outside, in the car." He said, "Why?"

"It's Arianne…"

He didn't hear everything Cody had to say because he suddenly he saw Arianne running across the street and she almost got hit by an oncoming car.

Luckily the car stopped just in time, but she ran ahead already before he could react. When he got out of their car she has already disappeared. Cody, Ted and Cat approached then came out.

"Did you see her?" Cat asked him.

"Yeah, one second she was crossing the street the next she's disappeared." He said.

Then he saw Cat had Ari's purse and that got him alarmed.

"What happened?" He asked anxiously.

"It's Richard…he tried to take advantage of her…" Cat could barely explain because she felt guilty.

"What the fuck?" Randy said. "That bastard! I'm gonna kill him!"

He almost zoomed out of there back to the club, wanting to confront Richard but Ted and Cody held him off.

"Take it easy, we've taken care of it." Ted said, "Calm down, man."

"I'm sorry! I didn't know he was gonna do that to Ari!" Cat said, "He was so nice, I had no idea he's…"

"He's a motherfucking douche bag is what he is!" Randy said, as he kicked the tire of the car. "I knew he was up to no good! Fuck!"

"Listen, man…like Ted said, we've taken care of that asshole." Cody said, "We should look for Ari…she looked really distressed."

Like a light switch his anger turned to worry. "You're right…we got to find her." He said, "I need to find her."

Without another word he hopped back in the car. "It's better if we split. You guys take her car."

And with that he gunned the engine and drove off. The others were left there standing for a few seconds, before anyone could react because it all seemed to happen so fast.

"Well…" Ted said, "Let's go."

As the three were driving around, with Cat sitting in the backseat, she realized then how Randy really does care about her friend Ari. She couldn't deny it, it was very evident. He loves her. She felt guilty and regretted ever setting Ari up with Richard, who turned out to be a douche bag.

It was fortunate that she came looking for Arianne when she did, or Richard would've succeeded in taking advantage of her. It was also good that Ted and Cody were close by and immediately got to them, so Richard couldn't go after Arianne.

At least I got to slap the bastard. She thought. At that point she doesn't care if she gets fired. She won't come back to work either way.

The three of them drove around at least a two mile radius, but they didn't see even Arianne's shadow. It was beginning to rain too which made their chances worse because she'd definitely find some place to take cover in. If she had only taken her purse, Cat wouldn't have been so worried. But she left her purse with her cards, money and phone.

Eventually Ted and Cody dropped her off at her place. It was very late and the rain had come down heavy. They figured Arianne would probably take a cab and go to her place and it would be better if she was there.

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"A thousand times I've seen you standing
Gravity like lunar landing
You make me want to run till' I find you
I shut the world away from here
I drift to you, you're all I hear
As everything we know fades to black"

Randy hadn't stopped driving around since he left the club. It has been over an hour, but he just didn't want to give up. The rain started to come down like the whole Atlantic Ocean was being poured over Manhattan when Ted called and told him they were going to stop. He couldn't order them to continue because it made sense, but he just had to do it his way.

He'd driven through main streets and back alleys and still no sign of Arianne. The streets were almost empty then too, since it was raining and it was almost three in the morning. He was about to give up then, as he slowed down for the stop light when he happened to glance at the waiting shed across the street and saw her.

It had just stopped raining then, but the light couldn't change fast enough, so he decided to get out of the car and cross the street. As he came closer and saw her better, his heart just started to beat faster but at the same time gripped with the condition she was in.

She was sitting there all drenched and wet from the rain, staring blankly at the pavement. It's like her color all ran out and she was so pale and cold to look at, clutching at herself to keep warm.

He wanted to run to her and hold her but he didn't know if she'd even let him touch her. So he approached slowly instead.

"Arianne…"

She looked up, with the bewildered look in her eyes and didn't move for another second.

"It's me…" He said.

"Randy…" She stood up and jumped into his arms, crying.

He held her back, tightly as he could, and realized how much he's missed holding her in his arms. He would've felt extremely happy had it been another circumstance, but he was far more concerned at what happened to her to solicit her actions.

"Hey…" He tipped her face up to look at her, "Tell me what happened. What did he do to you?"

She shook her head, "I couldn't…I tried…I couldn't…I'm sorry." She said, shaking her head. "I tried to open up, I tried to move past you, I tried to give myself a chance…I couldn't." She looked at him in the eyes, "I love you…"

What she said didn't make sense to him about what happened, but she was crying too much and he felt guilty nonetheless. If he hadn't let her go, if he hadn't left her, he knew this wouldn't have happened.

"I'm sorry…" He said.

"I don't care." She said, still crying. "I don't care if you don't love me. I don't care anymore. I just wanna be with you."

"Ari, I…"

She kissed him then, before he could say what he was going to. And he kissed her back, with all the pent up emotions he's held inside of him.

Suddenly the unbearable pain he felt earlier was replaced by unbelievable joy.

So unbelievable in fact that he couldn't stop himself from tearing up as well. He stopped kissing her and held her in his arms, as he didn't want her to see him wipe his eyes.

"Let's get you out of here, okay?" He said.

She didn't say another word, and just nodded in agreement as she wrapped her arms around him. He walked her to the car, and let her in the passenger side before going around to the driver's side, and then they left.

He noticed she was shaking so he turned the air conditioning off and put his arms around her, holding her close to him as he drove.

"Randy?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't want to go back to the hotel yet."

"Want me to take you to your friend's apartment?"

"No." She said, "I just want to be alone with you for a while."

"Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending
Too much time too long defending
You and I are done pretending"
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That morning at the hotel…

"Cody, would you stop pacing!" Ted said.

He was lying on his stomach on his bed while Cody paced back and forth inside the room. He still had his eyes closed and wasn't planning to get up yet but Cody's footsteps were disturbing him.

"What? I'm worried." Cody said, "Aren't you?"

"Of course I am. I just choose not to panic." He said, "She's an adult, I'm sure she can handle herself."

"Yes, but you saw how she was when she ran out. She looked disoriented." Cody said, sitting on the other bed. "Cat said she hasn't shown up at her apartment and Randy's not even back yet."

"Maybe he found her already." Ted said, without really thinking about what he was saying.

"Then where are they?" Cody asked.

"I don't know." Ted said, "But if anyone can find her, it's him. You saw him last night as well; he's not gonna stop until he does."

Wake up! Wake up, Ari!

She woke up with a gasp, a little dazed. She'd have sat up abruptly if it weren't for the heavy arm on top of her chest. Still unsure, she closed her eyes only to open them again and find him there still, lying beside her, on top of her.

She could feel him—all of him, his warmth, his heart beating next to hers, his breath on her neck. That's when she realized it was not a dream. It was all real. The night was real. She felt overwhelming happiness knowing that.

She's missed him so badly, even though they see each other often. She's missed him that way—being that close to him. She missed his arms wrapped around her, his kisses on her lips, his everything. She never knew how much until then.

She touched his face gently, not wanting to wake him up, but he suddenly moved and turned over to the other side, with his back towards her. She let him settle on his new position before she moved. She pulled the cover over him, caringly.

She watched him as he slept there, his shoulders moving as he breathed.

"I love you." She sighed. "I love you so much."

She lay back down on the bed, turning to the other side and closed her eyes, still feeling exhausted from all the events and emotional trauma from the night before.

Somehow she still feels like everything's going to disappear when she opens her eyes again. She feels it's all going to end once they go back outside, to their real lives.

"I love you too." He whispered in her ear.

It made her heart skip in surprise. She opened her eyes and saw him peering over her, with a solemn look on his eyes. She didn't—couldn't believe what she heard.

"W-What did you say?" She asked.

"I said…I love you too." Randy repeated. "I love you, Ari. I love you."

She couldn't react. She put a hand over her mouth by instinct and that was that. He looked at her with a gentle smile, and took her hand off her face.

"I always have, Ari." He said, "I guess I just couldn't say it because I was afraid that if I say it out loud it's going to be so strong and it'll drown me. But I'd rather drown than lose you again, forever. I don't know if I'm making sense but…"

What he said just overwhelmed her with joy and just had to kiss him. He responded to her and kissed her fiercely. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her over on top of him…and they were one again.

"I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But love remains the same"

A/N: Thanks a lot for reading. The lyrics are from Gavin Rossdale's "Love Remains the Same". I listened to it while writing the chapter on loop, so you can say it inspired me. Hope you all liked the chapter. Feedbacks/Reviews/Comments are of course very much appreciated. And thanks to all the new subscribers.