Arthur Kirkland

Montreal, Quebec

October 26, 2163

I was rapidly losing my grip on sanity, but I made an effort to appear normal/sane. I felt extremely hyper, I think that the phrase Alfred would use is 'I felt Wired'. Still, I'm not Alfred; I don't drink coffee, I drink tea. I shouldn't feel hyper...

"England... is something wrong...?" Ludwig asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Oh, just a bit distracted..." I said, absentmindedly. I felt like I should leave. I got an excellent idea at that moment, and said, "em... I've been feeling a little ill as of recently..."

"Really...? You shouldn't be here if you're sick..." he said. He smiled at me, "vhy don't you go back to your room...?"

"I suppose I will..." I said. "thank you, Ludwig..."

I stood up and left the meeting room, taking off down the hall and up the stairs to my room. It was just the right size for me, just enough for one person; Matthew was so much nicer than Alfred.

I considered waiting until the meeting was over and then watching the young ones while the other nations went out drinking, but then I realized that I wanted to be alone and I had no interest in weaving unending tales of adventure for the 4 children. Robert would be 7, 70 in human years, Robin would be 5, 50 in human years, Alieu was not so young anymore (20), 200 in human years, Yoh wasn't either (20), 200 in human years... The youngest of Alfred kids, Yoh and Alieu, but still not as old as me... I was still the oldest except for Spain.

Gaul had died, germania, Skandia, and countless others, including Rome; I was the only one in europe who was a country when Rome conquered the world...

I shook my head to clear my mind of the thoughts about Rome, It was over; he was dead.

I could hear a voice in the next room over, "I still don't see why I have to be here," said the voice. "Honestly, why do I have to be here?"

"You don't; I said that I had to babysit Robert and Robin-schön, and you offered to come," said another voice. "Besides, Ludva did ask you to come; he asked me."

"Oh, yeah... I guess I forgot about Robertino..."

"Annnnnnd, that is why Ludva didn't let venetian convince him that you would be a good babysitter..."

I smiled slightly; everyone loved my children... My children didn't even know who I was... but I loved them anyway.

I sighed, "Of all the times to lose my mind, I had to lose it, now? When my kids don't even know who I am...?"

My kids... that's my reason for staying alive... I thought, scratching the back of my neck, a pretty weak reason, seeing as I haven't seen either of them in 40 years...

I went into the bathroom and stared at my reflection, trying to find the person I used to be; Great Britain, King Arthur Pendragon, even feeble little Britannia... Anything that was me.

All I could see was him... Peter... when I looked in the Mirror He was all that I saw... I couldn't see myself anymore... only him.

I felt my eyes fill with tears, "I'm not even there anymore," I choked out, "He's destroyed all that I am..."

I'm not even there...