Okay, so, I have a few things I don't totally like about this chapter, but in all, it came out great. Not to spoil or anything but, well, the title of the chapter says it all. Tropers, prepair for troping.

Mellos' craziness may have just reached a climax here...I love writing for him, he's so over-the-top! And Matt, he's so laid-back and sarcastic.

L's in this chapter (kind of).

And...here's something fun: everytime you see the word "chocolate," "goggles," or any sentence beginning with the word "I", take a drink.

WARNING: Expletive at the very end of this chapter. This chapter is rated K+ for swearing.

"But Roger, you can't do this to me!" I pleaded.

"Mello, you have to understand...the chocolate is being held for now -"

"Why?"

"Be..." he scratched his head, "...cause we really have no idea what to do with it,"

"Give it back?" I offered, looking up innocently.

"We understand it's yours Mello, but well...this is starting to become an addiction,"

"IT'S NOT AN ADDICTION! I CAN STOP WHENEVER I WANT!"

He didn't say anything, just stared.

"AAaaahhhggg! Stupid Roger! I hate him! Who even hired that guy, anyway?" I ranted to no one, kicking a wall in my room. Mail only shrugged.

"What's your deal?" he asked, even though I knew he didn't care.

"You know he doesn't even like kids, right? You should hear him sometimes, like 'Oh, why on earth did I take up a job at this orphanage?' I'd really like to say 'Gee Rog, I'd ask the same thing! It's your life, you're a grown-up, get a job that you can actually handle!'"

Mail giggled.

"What's so funny?" I sneered.

"You. You just get in these moods sometimes...it's great!"

"Think I'm funny, huh?" I mumbled. I got behind him and pulled the strap of his goggles, snapping them back in his face.

"Ow! Mello!" he clutched both hands to his face. Now I was laughing.

"That hurt!"

"Good,"

"How'd you get your name, anyway?"

I looked at him sideways. "What do you mean?"

"I can't believe someone thought of the name 'mello' for someone like you! Unless they were being ironic..."

"Huh?"

"You know what 'mello' means, right? Because, you're the total opposite of it. Like, you go over the top sometimes and it's really easy to make you mad...hm, unless it's short for 'melodramatic'..."

I turned beet red. "Know what, Jeevas? I'll bet you won't even get a codename,"

"Why should I care about that?" he asked, completely ignorant.

I went to grab his goggles again. He pushed me back this time. Pretty soon we were in a full-blown fistfight.

I was bruised. He bled. Near needed medical attention.

Just kidding about the last one. I really wish though...

The two of us sat in detention, glaring at each other. Actually, I could tell he was kind of scared of me, since he stayed away from me as much as possible (he slept in the closet for three days), but he ended up getting over it. Weird thing was, I felt really good ever since I'd kicked his butt.

But then, it kind of sucked, having him trying to avoid me all the time.

I was bored. No chocolate, no stupid roommate to boss around...no chocolate. And it was raining. So there was no going outside (why did we have to stay inside anyway? It's rain, get over it!), and no one to hang out with...how did I get by before that Jeevas kid showed up?

Finally, I came into the common room and broke down. I did the one thing I said I would never do - I sat down in front of Near.

"H-hey, uh, Near," I said, trying to ignore the fact that I hated this kid's guts. He looked up, kind of surprised I'd come over to see him.

"Hi Mello," he said, quickly looking back at his puzzle.

"So...do you need help with that?" What a stupid question!

"Um, okay," he answered. He was halfway done the puzzle anyway, but it was one of those blank ones, not the kind with pictures. You figured those out with pure mad skill. "I uh...I don't know what this one goes to,"

I looked at the piece. It could fit into at least three different places, actually - only one of them being the right one. It was shaped differently from the other ones, almost like it didn't go in the puzzle...

"It...it goes right here," I put the piece in one cluster of puzzle pieces. "And this one goes with it, see?"

"Wow, thanks Mello," Near smiled - I think he really meant it, too. He wasn't just being a condescending jerk.

"Uh...yeah, any time," I said, a bit awkwardly. "Hey, aren't the quarterly exams coming up?"

"We got a new student, I'm sure they will be,"

"Right...how do you think the new kid's gonna do?"

"Mail Jeevas?" Near blinked. "I don't know. You share a room with him, right? I think you could say it better than me,"

"Know what, Jeevas? I'll bet you won't even get a codename,"

"Why should I care about that?"

"He's not going to do very well - he's just lazy and doesn't care," I said.

"Well, you would know better than anyone," he shrugged.

It was just plain weird, the fact that I was saying all of this to my worst enemy. Did I mention I hated this brat?

"But I will do the best, of course," Near said matter-of-factly.

"Screw you," I said, tipping over the puzzle and sending the pieces falling to the floor in a mess. I walked away.

I ran into some other kid in the hall. It turned out to be Linden Benson, who had dropped all her art supplies on the floor.

"Sorry," I muttered as I helped her pick her things up.

"I-it's fine, it's my fault," she said. When she had all her stuff together again, she said, "Oh, I saw you playing with Near earlier. That was really nice of you!"

I flushed - crap, she saw! Now the whole house would know - "Y-yeah well...I was bored, okay? I just wanted someone to pass the time, ya know?"

"It was still really nice," she said. "Near is so lonely most of the time, and a lot of people don't go up and talk to him. It's just nice that you went up and paid attention is all,"

I just rolled my eyes. "I don't even like him, you know,"

Linden frowned. Why do you always have to be nice to people? I thought to myself. No one cares, really!

"Oh, okay then. Still, I think - hope - that maybe one day you will like him,"

"Yeah maybe, when he either gets kicked out of Wammy's House, dies or drops a few IQ points,"

"Mello, you're awful,"

"I will never be nice. Ever again!" I stormed into my room. Sitting on the bed, glued to the Gameboy, was Mail. He looked up at me, not saying anything. Guess he wasn't afraid anymore.

"Jeevas,"

"Mello,"

"Where have you been?"

"I dunno, maybe somewhere I know I won't get the strap of my goggles snapped against my face," he said flatly. "Where were you?"

"Somewhere else," I said. I didn't want to bring up playing with Near.

"You were with Near today,"

"WHAT?"

"I saw you. You two were working on the puzzle together. I thought you hated him,"

"I do," I said, annoyed. "Nobody was around, I just did it because I was bored,"

"Lonely?"

"I was bored. Trust me, I've got plenty of people here who really like me, I'm not lonely," I blushed. Actually, I kind of was lonely - it's not like no one liked me, just that for some reason I never seemed to get 'real' friends. I couldn't relate to that many people in Wammy's House.

"Okay then," he shrugged, "So you were really bored. You had to be, if you were so bored you ended up doing a puzzle with a demon spawn,"

"Yeah," I replied. "But you know what? He was a piece of crap who told me he'd assess top grade. He has to rub it in just to piss me off!"

"Assess? For what?"

"We have an exam coming up. See, each new student takes an individual assessment, then another one to see where they rank compared to the other kids. I think the top seven or so get codenames. Don't be too upset if you don't score very high,"

"I won't be,"

"Seriously? Why?" I really couldn't understand him sometimes. "Is it because you really think you'll come at the top or because you really just don't care?"

"It's the second," he smirked, leaning back and lying on the bed. "Who cares?"

I could've explained the whole thing to him, that we were in this place to become L's successor, and it only mattered if you were at the top. You wanted to be the greatest detective. That's why you're here, cause you're a reject, an orphan, probably out of wedlock...you wanted to be better.

Not this guy.

"Are you really that lazy?"

"Yep,"

"You could get thrown out, you know,"

He looked up and raised an eyebrow.

"Seriously, if you're not Wammy material, they will literally throw you out the window. And you'll end up in a crappy orphanage where everyone's like Roger and hates kids..."

"You're making all this up,"

"No, really, they've done it,"

It was kind of true, they really would do that, but they probably wouldn't bother doing it to him now. He'd already taken a first assessment, so I guess he barely made it in here.

"I don't believe you," he said, resuming his game.

"Fine. I'll just watch them throw you out, and then I'll have this room all to myself again," I said boastfully.

"Pffft. Please, it's all to yourself now!" he mumbled.

All the kids stood in the hallway, eagerly waiting for our results. This time, I hoped I'd finally make it higher than Near...

They'd made a new policy a few months ago, that we'd all get told how well we did in private so it wouldn't be as embarrassing or something, but it never mattered; we all found out eventually anyway. Kids talk, after all...

My turn came. I walked into Roger's office, where there was a seat in front of the desk and a computer set up. On the screen was a stylized letter L. I gulped. I was actually getting a grade from L himself...

"Well Mello, you've actually improved your score. I'm always impressed with your work, but this time you've actually done better than your last assessment,"

"Did I get the highest score?" I blurted out. "I...uh, I mean, is...did.."

"Almost,"

Dammit!

"Only one person scored higher than you. I won't tell you who, but it was only one person,"

You don't have to tell me, L...

"Still, as always you did spectacular. You should be proud of yourself Mello,"

"Uh...yeah, thanks," my face turned pink, I felt tears begin to fill up my eyes. There was no way I was going to cry - not here in front of L! "But...but you should know that I want to do the best. I've never settled for being second place and I never will. I'm happy I did well, but I want to do the best. I will be proud of myself only when I score the highest assessment, get the best grades, and come in number one! That is what I always do, and I will always go for the top! I promise you, I'll be sure to make it highest score next time!" My voice rose to almost shouting by the time I was done. I couldn't believe I'd actually said all that.

"You're very motivated. I like that about you. Still, you'll have to learn to get along better and not always be so competitive," L answered.

I didn't know what to say back. Actually, I wasn't sure what he meant...

"Thank you sir," I said, leaving the room.

After a few more kids went in, I bumped into Linden again. She was smiling so much I thought her face would fall off, and she looked like she'd just got through crying.

"Uh, Linden?"

"Mello!" she instantly glomped me and started squeezing really tight. "Oh, you won't believe this!"

"What is it?"

"I scored one of the top grades on my assessment! L told me I'm getting a codename pretty soon!"

"A...codename? Wait a minute, how high did you say you scored?"

"Forth-highest," she said.

"Forth? Wait...so I know who made the highest score, then it's me, and if you're forth, then who came ahead of you?"

She shrugged. "I...I don't know. I'm not sure if that person's been given a grade yet,"

I rubbed the back of my neck. "Where's Jeevas?"

"Hm? I think he's getting his grade right now. How well do you think he did?"

"Bad," I answered. "But to be honest, he said he didn't care what his grade was, so it doesn't matter,"

That evening, I came into my room yet again to find Mail in his usual spot. Something wasn't right though. I couldn't tell what it was, but he seemed different. Maybe it was the 1,000,000 watt smile on his face.

"Um...Jeevas? You okay?" I asked him. He unglued his eyes from his Gameboy and took off his goggles.

"Hey Mello? Guess what?"

"What?"

"You're not getting your room back," he giggled, green eyes flashing playfully.

I grabbed him by the shirt collar. "What do you mean, 'I'm not getting my room back'?"

"Well," he sighed. "I'm getting a codename,"

"You're kidding me,"

"Nope,"

"So that means..."

"That means for Halloween, you're going as Peach,"

"Shit,"

Tah-da! Ugh, now I think I'm just gonna bump up the rating to K+. Why not, right?

'Tis irony, my friends. Roger hates kids, Mello's friggin' name, then he's getting along with Near, and Matt turned out to be a genius. And a K-rated fic has a four-letter-word.

Well, I know the Halloween chapter will technically come late, but I had to do something funny for it. It ain't funny till Mello's in a dress folks...wait. O.o

Oh, and if you're still sober right now...review!