Sorry I'm late, but since school is ended, I can finally update this. ^^

I don't own anyone except for Mischief and some random parts not found in the manga, no matter how hard you look.

"No... more... trains..." I said as I stumbled out of the train. Edward ran off trying to catch the library before it realized the Elrics are in town. I, however, grabbed Edward by the tail of his coat. "Not so fast, Ed. We gotta meet a few people first."

Second-Lieutenant Ross and um... what was his name again? You know... the dude that looks like he could be an older version of Ed? That always hangs out with Ross? Anyways... they were waiting for us in salute. I had forgotten I had authority now, so I grinned when Ross looked down at me nervously. This was gonna be fun.

"Major Armstrong, we're here to see you." Ross said to the giant sparkling Major.

"Good work, Second-Lieutenant Ross, Sergeant Brosh." Major Oohs moment. I forget that guy's name. A lot. Maybe it's because he's so much of a minor character...? Nah. I always remember the minor characters with a name.

Then Brosh turned Al and Ed and said "Oh, you're the Fullmetal and Joker Alchemists?"

"He certainly is funny enough to be the Joker Alchemist."

Somehow... Al was confused for the Fullmetal Alchemist, and Ed was confused for me. I had an anime angry mark on my head as they introduced themselves. Al and Armstrong pointed at me and Ed. The next words that came out made me want to... um... alchemize Brosh into the floor and laugh maniacally as I kick him like a soccer ball.

"That small guy and the ugly-looking girl?"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SMALLER THAN AN ANT?"

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING UGLY?" I made a giant hammer come out of the floor.

Before we managed to complete our revenge, Armstrong grabbed us and restrained us from beating the ever-loving crap out of Brosh. Ross and Brosh looked nervously at each other as the saw the two kids shouting at them.

"You better respect mah authoriteh, bi-otch!" I shouted. "I rank the same as a major and WILL KICK YOUR ASS!"

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean ugly... um... er..." Brosh stuttered.

"Now, I must report to Central HQ." Major Armstrong said as he put us down.

"Is this where we part?" Edward said in a fake sad voice. "You did a good job! I'm so sad. Bye-bye!"

"Don't forget to write!" I said in an equally fake sad voice.

Then the Major turned around and glomped us. All of the air was knocked out of our lungs. Did you know muscle weighs more than fat? If that were true... then no wonder this hurts so much!

He released us and said to his subordinates "Take care of the rest."

"Yes, sir!" both of them said.

Edward had a gloomy look on his face that asked me Huh? "We still get bodyguards, Ed."

We got into a car, Ross and Brosh asking about Alphonse's armor. I stared boredly out the window. "How much longer?"

Ross started talking about the National Library. And before I knew it we had to get out.

"Many research, files, past records, and name registries are stored there. However..." We all looked out to the black mountain of ash and char. "Just a few days ago, all the books inside were burned in a mysterious fire."

I, being a former bookworm before I discovered the wonders of anime, dropped down to my knees. "DAMN YOU, LUST! WHY BURN THE WHOLE DANG LIBRARY?" Somewhere far away... at a random time... Lust sneezed.

Everyone had their eyebrows raised as they wondered what the hell was going on.

...

I wandered around the Central Library as Ed and Al asked around for Marcoh's work. I stared at the titles of the thick books.

"I had no idea they had Sherlock Holmes here!" I stared at the shelf behind me. "Alright, who was stupid enough to put Frankenstein in a world where they're not allowed to make other people?"

"That's what I said!" said a voice behind me.

I turned around to see the random guy from the Scar-fight staring boredly at the Frankenstein book. I could still see the 'Made in China' tab on his Elric cosplay coat.

"Enough with the stalking! It's getting annoying!"

An anime angry mark appeared on his head. "For the last time, I am not a stalker! I just know cooler things happen when the Elrics are around."

"How do you know?"

He gestured towards the 'Made in China' tab. "I'm not of this world."

Normally if someone says that, it means they're either an alien or crazy. But as a homunculus who wasn't from that world either, I had no room to talk.

"What's your name?"

"Uh..." He crossed his arms as he thought. "Uh... I forgot."

Facepalm. "You forgot your own name. Wow. And I thought I was a spaz." I wasn't trying to be mean, I was just shocked.

"What do you expect when Truth takes your memory?"

"If Truth took your memory then how do you remember that Truth took your memory?"

"Um... I only remember FMA stuff."

"Oh... You need a name, 'cause I can't keep calling you 'the random guy from the Scar-fight'. Hm... From this day, you are now dubbed Bill. Hi, Bill."

He started anime crying. "But I already gave myself a name. It was Xavier, 'cause it sounds cooler."

"Fine, Xavier." Then a thought occurred to me. "Did you finish reading the series?"

"No."

I copied Envy's sadistic-as-hell grin. "You must now address me as 'Mischief-sama'."

Xavier got the idea and glared at me. "Yes, Mischief-sama."

I waved a hand. "Now, run along. Someone has to keep an eye on Mustang." He ran off.

Back at the front desk, Ed and Al finished their business with the librarian. "Where's Mischief?"

That's when somewhere in fiction section, Mischief shouted out "HOLY S_, I FOUND THE HARRY POTTER BOOKS!"

...

They knocked on the door of Sheska's house. "Maybe nobody's home."

Then the door creaked open to reveal mountains upon mountains of literature that satisfy an infinite amount of scholars. (Big words. =3) "What the hell is with all these books?" Edward yelled.

"How could anyone live in here?" Brosh shouted.

"Bookworm heaven!" I cheered. Everyone sweatdropped. "What?"

"Help... me..." said a voice so low, weak, and muffled someone could've missed it.

"Someone's buried in here!" Al said as he started digging.

"I can see why, most of these are dictionaries!"

"And who said books never hurt anyone?"

We rescued Sheska, a girl with glasses and short brown hair. She sighed and thanked us for saving her.

"I love books, and I was very happy to be employed by the branch library. But because I loved books so much..."

"Let me guess," I said with sarcasm. "You did your job as a librarion too well and read on the job?"

"Yeah... Is it that obvious?"

I gestured at the books. "You have it written all over your face."

Brosh facepalmed. "Really? You use a lame pun like that? It's no wonder you got a crappy name like the Joker Alchemist..."

"AT LEAST PEOPLE REMEMBER MY NAME, UH... WHATEVER-THE-HELL-YOUR-NAME-IS!" I honestly forgot his name while I was yelling at him. I fail.

Then Sheska had her emo moment by saying "I have to work because I want to put my sick mother in a better hospital, but I'm too clumsy at doing anything other than reading books and I can't get work anywhere. Yes, I'm a useless human being... the garbage of society..."

"DON'T YOU DARE GO EMO!" I snapped at her.

"Look," Ed said. "Do you know anything about the research files by Tim Marcoh?"

"Yes. The were placed out of their genre so I read them. They were the rare handwritten books in the library of printed ones."

"...So they were in the branch..." Edward said. "Which means they were completely burned..." The Elrics went into an emo corner.

"They really wanted to read those." I explained to the confused bookworm.

"I remember all that was written." she said to the boys.

"HUH? O_O"

I have photographic memory, so I remember everything I read. Should I make a copy for you?"

"YES! THANK YOU, BOOK-WORM!"

I hit Edward on the head. "Edward! You should know better then to call someone that to their face!"

It took so long, because I was busy, but here it is.

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