'Carey's right, these do help.'

Still raw from her breakdown, Beckett sat with Lanie in the living room; they sat cross-legged in front of the fireplace, each sucking on their bits of hard candy on a stick. The simplicity of it was settling her stressed out nerves better than any drug she could think of.

Except maybe one, she thought, looking to her husband in the kitchen.

'He loves the strawberry acid and cola ones too.' Lanie rolled hers in her mouth. 'Gives me an excuse to buy them, too.'

'RJ prefers cookies. I don't know what I'd do without you two ,' she murmured, 'if you weren't in my life.'

'Knowing what you do now, would you have moved sooner on Castle?'

'Nope. Because I wouldn't appreciate it that he would do anything for me, especially when it comes to my mom's case.'

'Dinner's on, girls,' Castle called from the kitchen and Beckett breathed deeply as she scented it. 'I made one of our son's favourites.'

'Yes you did,' Beckett said, and she nearly started weeping again when she saw the platters of spaghetti and meat-balls and toasted baguette with garlic butter and mozzarella. 'Is it too late to call?'

'No, Kate, it's barely six. Shane only picked them up at four-thirty. They will both be awake.'

Beckett wanted to hold them close, to see her son's eyes shine bright when he asked her if she got the bad guys, and watch Jojo hold her brother's hand as he helped her walk over for a hug. But tonight she need time for herself; the last thing she wanted to do was trouble her children, especially RJ because he was the kind of person who would share the emotional burden of his loved ones so they didn't have to hurt as much.

So tonight she would call them and let her imagination paint the picture for her. She by-passed the set and waiting table for the phone on the island, dialed Shane and Alexis' home number. The lady of the house herself picked up and Beckett turned away so that Castle and Lanie wouldn't see her swiping away tears yet.

'Hey, is this Mumum or Daddy?'

'It's Mumum, almost-Doctor Weaver.'

'Hey, are you okay?'

'Yeah, Lex, I'm fine, just the Raglan case getting to me,' Beckett reassured the ever-sensitive Alexis. 'Where's your brother and sister?'

'Shane is giving Jojo a bath and RJ is helping him, which as you can guess means RJ is telling him what to do all the time. Hang on.'

Beckett waited while she heard the noises on the other end of the phone and wondered how long it would be before she and Castle heard their oldest baby with her own little one. She heard the splashing of water, Shane's deep velvety voice and RJ's chirping one; there was a small shuffle of noise and then there was her baby boy.

'Hi-hi, Mumum! Alessis say you are sad because you haven't caught the bad guys yet?'

'Yes, my little prince, it's making me sad.'

'Don' be sad Mumum, you are the best! You will get him, and you will throw him in the jail and it will go cuh-link and we will have cookies and ice cuh-ream and all kinds of yummy things to celebrate.'

'RJ, I love you so much,' she replied with as much passion as she could give to him. 'You are the best little boy I know.'

'Aw Mumum, I love you too. Would you like to say I love you to Jojo too?'

Beckett caught the drip of tears on her cheeks with the tip of her index finger. 'Yes, please, baby, I would like that very much.'

'Okay. Shane where is the loud button?'

A few seconds later and Beckett could tell she was on speaker phone. The sounds of water moving were louder and RJ was asking Alexis if they could have popcorn. And there was her bumblebee, chattering and babbling away.

'Hello? Jojo, you there?'

'Mumum? See Mumum?'

'Baby girl, I'm on the phone.'

'No see!'

'Here, Jojo.' Alexis held the phone closer. 'Talk on the phone, Jojo, Mumum's on the phone.'

'Mumum talk?'

'Yeah, Jojo, she is talking to you,' RJ encouraged his sister.

'Hi Mumum! Pashin'!

'I hear you splashing, are you my little bumblebee or are you a little mermaid?' Beckett laughed.

'Pash, pash, pash. Dodo pashin!'

'Yeah, Jojo's splashing.'

'Love Mumum.'

It nearly broke her entirely. 'I love you too, Jojo, so much. Let me talk to Alexis again.'

'O-kay. Sis!'

There was another shuffle again; the children's voices became muted, and Alexis came back on the phone. 'Mom, are you okay?'

'Are you near the kids?'

'No, and Shane knows something is up, but he's going to stay with the kids. I'm coming over.'

'Alexis-'

'I'm coming over,' she repeated in a tone that so mirrored Beckett's when she meant business it was easy to forget they weren't biological mother and daughter. 'I'll see you soon.'

'I love you, Mom.'

'I love you too.'

Beckett hung up and turned back around, where she saw Lanie typing away on her cellphone, politely tuning her out. It made her smile a little more at the simple understanding of such a good friend. 'Where did Rick go?'

'Oh something about checking in with Paula. I think he's in his office.'

She nodded, went into the space closed off with books. The sight of him, fingers flying over the keys of his scarred and battered laptop that he refused to part with, brow furrowed so the scar above his left eye stood out in sharp relief, filled her with pure love for this man who had blown into her life and blown up her life with laughter and love.

Gripping the back of his chair, she used the element of surprise and spun him around. He had only a few seconds to be fluster, for then her mouth was covering his, her hands sliding through his hair. 'I love you, Richard Alexander Castle,' she murmured against his lips.

'I love you too, Katherine Louise Beckett-Castle.'

'I wouldn't be able to face again this without you, if I didn't have this to come home to.' She picked up his left hand in hers, twined their fingers so their wedding rings clinked. 'We're in the gold and the shit together, right? Isn't that what Shane always says to Alexis?'

'Yes, it is.'

'She's coming over, by the way.'

'I thought she might,' he replied, holding his wife's shoulder's steady so that she didn't falter when he stood up. 'There's enough spaghetti if she wants some for herself.'

When Lanie had gone home to her babies, and Alexis had come over for the proof herself that Beckett wasn't having a nervous breakdown from the case and gone home to her own husband and her siblings Castle had taken his wife upstairs to their room and gently stripped her down to her underwear, tucked them both into bed so she could feel his skin against hers. He knew she wouldn't sleep yet, but that getting her into bed in the most innocent sense of the phrase would help.

'Kate, you need rest,' he softly reminded her.

'I know, my body wants to shut it down but my brain keeps clicking and clicking. I have to lean on a decorated retired captain from a whole different department and precinct tomorrow morning. And my partner in it is an ex-cop now working in the C-L bureau.'

'You've worked with worse. Don't say me.'

'I wasn't going to. You're actually better than some cops I've been ham-strung into working with.'

'Are you bringing in any outside help yet? K-Pow or Geoffs or Newman?'

'Not yet. We need more solid intel, to back it up safely so that nothing gets missed or lost. I'm not losing this one.'

'Okay, okay. It's time to rest now, Kate. You need sleep.'

'Yes. I'll sleep now.'

Beckett closed her eyes, and even in the pitch black dark of the night in their room, she could feel him there beside her. Always there, right beside her.

JANUARY 5TH

She woke like she'd been fired from a cannon. 'Rick,' she hissed, slapping his shoulder. 'Rick, what time is it?'

'Too early.'

Beckett looked at the clock. Four-fifty-three. Perfect, she would be at the precinct for six am. 'I have an idea about what it could be that links them all together.'

'Whoopee.'

'Rick, do you understand this could be the missing link, the thing that tells me once and for all why my mother died? Why Adam's father died?'

Castle peeled his eyes open. 'I'll get dressed, come with you.'