Alfred F Jones
Washington, DC
February 14, 2164
A call on valentines day... from IGGY? I thought, staring at my missed calls list.
"Daddy, there's another meeting in five minutes. This one is with Russia." said a pretty blonde with deep sapphire eyes.
I sighed, almost not wanting to say no; she worked so hard so I wouldn't have to...
"Daddy?" she asked, staring into my eyes.
"'Manda, honey, I gotta go. Like NOW." I said, still looking at my phone.
"You must go to the meeting or you will have to wear the southern belle dress."
"...I'll wear it, but you have to cover for me." I said, looking away quickly.
"Okay~!"
I called my answering machine and listened to the message. 'Um... Hullo, America... I just wanted to tell you something but... if you're busy, I won't bother you. I wouldn't want to worry you with the details... but there's something terribly wrong. I've called China and he's coming over this afternoon... so, err... call me back when you get my message... okay?'
I was confused and worried about him; what if something HORRIBLE happened?
I called his cell and got the Answering Machine, then I tried his house phone... Hong Kong answered it.
"Hullo, this is the Kirkland residence, Leon speaking. Who, may I ask, is calling?" his voice was flat... as usual.
"Um... it's America. Is England there?" I said, shifting the phone to my other ear.
"Yes, he's here, but he can't answer the phone, right now. Sensei is checking him over."
"What's wrong with him?"
"I don't know. All I was able to get from their phone conversation was that something like this happened once before and now it's happening again."
"...you listened in on their phone convo...?"
"Yes; aren't I just horrible?"
"...yeah. Plain evil." I hung up and rushed around to get my passport; I had to see England ASAP.
~.oOo.~
I was panting and out of breath when I arrived at his house; being the idiot that I was (sometimes), I had ran from the airport to his house. I burst through the door and looked around; England with his shirt unbuttoned, exposing his slim frame, and his pants open in the front... China touching him, running his fingers over England's milk pale skin. I stared at them. And stared and stared and stared.
"W-what the fuck...?" I said, still staring.
"Th-this isn't what it looks like..." England said, flushed scarlet.
"Then tell me what it is, because I have no idea what's going on, England." I said harshly.
"I-I... I..." he started crying.
"Āěr fú léi dé, yà sè shì huáiyùn!" China shouted at me, rushing to England's side and laying his hand on England's shoulder.
"E-eh?" I looked to the source of the sound and found Hong Kong.
"What did he say?" I asked, shocked by the expression on the city's face.
"'Alfred, Arthur is pregnant...'" Leon translated, his eyes wide.
My eyes widened, "W-what the fuck...? But... England's a man... men can't get pregnant."
"That is Human men, Alfred. Nation men have no such luck... or at least some do not." China said, still trying to get England to stop crying. "...still, I never would have thought that England would be one of the few male nations that can conceive children... let alone the type that would."
"What do you mean?" I asked, looking from China to England and back again.
"I mean that Male Nations have to want to have at least one child; they will not conceive if they do not want children." China covered England's ears, "...The only time that this ever happened was way back when Rome was still alive; Germania harbored a secret desire to have children with Rome... he conceived and, around 10 months later, he gave birth to a pair of twins, Römisches and Gilbert Beillschmidt."
"Prussia and... Who?"
"...Holy Rome, or, as you would know him, Germany."
"...but... Who's kid is it?"
"What do you mean?"
"...who knocked up England?"
"Well, the way I see it there are a few options... One: It was Sealand, which is EXTREMELY unlikely... Two: It was you, which is quite a bit more likely... or Three: He was raped AGAIN, which is possibly the most likely seeing as he is not a strong as he used to be and he is rather small for a nation his age."
"So, you're saying that you don't know."
"No, I am saying that it was either you or Sealand. Even though Rape is the most likely, you and Sealand would be the only nations that would have done it; none of the rest of us are interested in him."
"...Is it wrong that I feel like I should've taken that as an insult?"
"No, because I am trying to tell you something important, baichi."
"Which is?"
"I was... interested in England once, but he broke my heart because he was halfhearted like you are now. What I am saying is... do not let history repeat itself; I almost killed myself after he broke my heart, and he has already tried to end his own life."
"...and how does this pertain to me, again?"
"Baichi... England loves you; you are his-... err... how would Japan put this...? Ah, I remember. You are England's seme."
"...and a Seme is?"
"America, Do not make me give you the sex talk."
"Oh! So, the seme is the dom?" I asked, finally getting what he was trying to say.
"Yes, and he is too... um... 'Tsundere' to tell you that he loves you."
"So, he loves me...?" I noticed that England had fallen asleep... probably from boredom.
"'Love' you? 'Love' you? America, you obviously do not understand..." I stared as he got a megaphone out of NOWHERE. "He does not love you, he adores you! He does not just want you to be around him, he wants you to fuck him until he can no longer walk! America, asking if he loves you is like asking the sky if it is blue, like asking Poland if he has painted his house recently, like asking Germany if he is into BDSM; you never ask because you ALREADY know the answer!"
I just stood there with my ears ringing for a moment, "Ow... that was freaking loud..."
"I am not sorry, America," China said, turning off the megaphone, "because you need to learn how to listen. I told you the same thing before. When you asked me why 'Britain' was mad at you, all those years ago, I told you, very seriously, that he loved you. You did not believe me, thus I used the megaphone to make sure you heard me this time."
"...I love him too..."
"Good. Tell him when he wakes up, but I warn you that he probably will not believe you; Sealand saw to that."
"Goddammit... Sealand, you asshole..." I said, smacking my forehead against then heel of my hand.
~.oOo.~
The next morning, after England had woken up, I tried to think of how to tell him how I felt... but I had no idea how to do it without things seeming awkward. I ended up staying at England's house...
...I wonder how I'm gonna tell him... I thought, staring off into space, not really looking at anything.
"...America?" I turned to England and he was staring at me steadily.
"Yeah? What's up, Iggy?" I responded, raising an eyebrow at him.
"...what do you like about me...?" he asked, his face showing that he was nervous.
"...I don't know. I just like you. You're smart, you're cute, you know when to stop talking," unlike me... I added, subconciously, "You eat right, you care about what we think of you and you try to change things if something goes wrong, you're a hell of a lot healthier than I am, you listen when I'm talking, you tell me if I'm an idiot; I love you because you're you, Iggy."
"I... I don't know what to say..."
"It's okay, Iggy," I smiled softly, almost sadly. "So, do you believe me when I say I love you?"
"To be honest... No," he said tentatively.
I struggled for the right words to say it and make him believe me, eventually settling on the subtle approach, "...Iggy, When I look at you, who do you think I see?" I asked, staring into his eyes.
"...Sealand..." he said shyly.
"'Sealand'? Really? You think that I see Sealand when I look at you?" I asked incredulously, "Are you fucking serious?"
"Yes... We look the same." I sighed as he said this.
"WRONG." I said flatly. I tried to think of a good way to phrase what I was going to say next. "When I look at you, I see your eyes that are so green that they could put an emerald to shame."
He stared at me as if He thought I was kidding, "Amer-," I cut him off.
"When I look at you, I see your skin so pale that it's almost white and so delicate that it make me want to leave hickeys ALL OVER YOU," I took care to stress the last part and smiled when I saw that he wasn't gaping in disbelief.
"America, sto-," I cut him off again.
"I see your hair so blond that it's the same color as sunlight and even BRIGHTER than that," I felt my smile soften, "I see your face, so soft and pretty that I just can't help but stare."
He looked like he was about to protest but I wouldn't let him.
"Iggy, when I look at you, I see the most GORGEOUS person I've ever met!" I shouted, almost unable to comprehend how he didn't believe me when I was telling him EXACTLY how I felt, "I see the only person in the ENTIRE WORLD that I could EVER love!" I lowered my voice and crossed the room to where he stood. "Iggy, I love you with all my soul. All my heart, my essence, my being... I love you with everything I am, everything I've ever been and everything I ever will be..." I hugged him close to my heart, "I've given you my heart, okay? Take good care of it."
~A/N- So, Iggy's pregnant, America went out of character because my America fails, annnnnnnnd MY CHINA DOES NOT SAY ARU (ARU)!
Yeah, I hate it when people ask why my China doesn't say "aru"... it's because he speaks either Proper English or Chinese; there is no Japanese stereotype of Chinese people here.
~dramatization~
China: But I like saying "Aru"
Me: Oh, yeah? Go find another story to say it in. That word will not be spoken around me (in my A/N) under penalty of death, kono yaro.
China: Since when do you say "Kono yaro", aru?
Me: ...Charlie says "Harakiri yourself", kono yaro...
China: *stabs himself in the stomach with a katana*
Me: Now, leave it there, kono yaro; You are going to suffer a long painful death for saying that word...
-Moral: Aru is the only word I will not tolerate. I hate the word and will destroy anyone who uses it-
~end dramatization~
...NOT; I may hate the word but I'd never kill someone (maybe)...