I am not happy about the decision. Edward had preached his case. Carlisle and Rose jumped immediately to his defense. They both pretty much patted him on the back and told him he was doing the right thing. That caused Esme and Emmett to pick sides with their mates. And I'm confident Jasper only stood by me because he knew I was mad at him. It didn't matter anyway. I was outvoted.
So, we moved. We left Forks as soon as possible. We cut off all ties and pretended like we never met the Swan girl. As if.
I sulked the whole time. I didn't care if I was acting like a baby. But get this - as soon as we were established in a new place, Edward bounced. What…The…Fuck?
He may be my brother, but god damn he was such a selfish ass sometimes.
So, here we are… playing house again, pretending that Edward didn't run away. Carlisle is trying to comfort Esme, who is acting like her first born son died. She would kn- … oh wait, nevermind. Rose is acting all smug because she loves when she gets her way.
What am I doing? I'm still sulking.
I abandoned my to-be-best-friend for my brother, who then abandoned the whole family and my to-be-best-friend. This makes no sense.
Thinking about it really pisses me off too. I get that Carlisle and Edward have these strong morals and ethics, and I think it's great. They are good people. That is why I love them. I don't even mind their religious beliefs. I just don't believe in all that jazz. I woke up to this existence. This is all I know. I also think that when you die… you die. You are gone… forever. No more. I don't believe in all that hocus hocus-pocus, Santa-in-the-sky nonsense.
So, did we really just leave Bella to grow old and die? Cause that is pretty messed up.
This means I consented to Bella's slow… decaying… death when she could be young, beautiful, happy, in love, loved, blah, blah, blah forever. The scales don't tip in her favor the way it is now. That is how I see it anyway.
I get that this life isn't all rainbows and sunshine. We drink blood. Most of our kind kills people… daily. I get it. It's just hard for me now that I've seen how happy she could be. She wouldn't hate it. So, how is it wrong?
Sigh.
Edward made us promise to never contact her again. I can't even send her an email… or a Facebook comment. He is so mean!
As I "see" it, he is just going to hide away and mope for a very long time. I lost a brother and a to-be-best-friend.
Who's going to download my favorite shows for me now? Who is going to hassle me about stealing his CD's?
But most importantly, who's going to yell at me when I force them to help pick out new sheets at Bed, Bath and Beyond?
Who's going to beat me at Scattergories every time, but still make me laugh?
Who's going to make my high school classes bearable by creating crafty high jinks?
Who's going to be the Serena to my Blair?
No one. Because I abandoned her and condemned her to die.
Fuck that! I'm outta here.
"Where are you going!" shouts Emmett as I scurry out of the house. Jasper looks worried, so I give him a smile before I run out the door.
"Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget," I quote loudly and keep on running.
XoXo to Jessica0306