As per usual, this story is based on characters created by the superbly talented Martha Williamson. They are most definitely not mine.
This story is based on Higher Ground. This chapter is only about Shane and a little bit of Steve. It's mainly her letters.
Again, my sincere thanks go to my dear friend Rhonda Leighton Wronski for her amazing support and input.
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Higher Ground - Part II
Dear Oliver,
As we lifted off into the clouds, I realised that you had made a believer out of me. It was no mistake that I was transferred to the Dead Letter Office instead of Direct Line Operations.
We could not have begun dancing lessons so long ago without learning the steps we needed to find our way back to each other.
As I sit here flying further and further from you to an undisclosed location, all I have of you are the beautiful memories, (apart from your pen), especially of our last date. I still feel your lips on mine, how that kiss, as brief as it was, was the sweetest kiss of my life.
I don't know what awaits me on the other side of this flight or if I will ever be able to mail you this letter. But I'd like you to know that I miss you already.
Lovingly Yours,
Shane
Should I write "lovingly yours"? Is this another case of saying I love you without actually saying I love you?
Shane landed after a 12 hour flight, in a hot, dry and inhospitable environment. She had no idea where she was and Steve had already told her that she wouldn't be told that information for her own safety.
She quickly got shown around and introduced to the whole team. Nobody seemed the least bothered with the lack of information regarding their location or assignment. Also nobody seemed interested in making friends. They blindly turned their computers on and started typing furiously… line upon line of code.
Shane sat at her new desk and immediately felt a dull ache in her heart. She was missing her friends in Denver already… most keenly. One in particular she couldn't stop thinking about. She found herself daydreaming a lot and falling behind on making her daily quota. She couldn't help but wish she had chosen differently.
Later on before they turned the lights out for the night, she wrote another letter to Oliver.
Dear Oliver,
The first day is finally over after a long flight, a quick briefing of our duties and then just immediately jumping into sorting through the mess the fastest way possible.
As I sit here alone in my little bedroom, I can hear people talking through the very thin walls. I feel a lot more alone now than I used to when I got home at the end of each work day in my sweet house in Denver. In Denver, there was no loneliness, no regret. I must admit, Oliver, I wish I had never agreed to come. I wish I had never left you. I already miss you as if I've been away for weeks. I don't know how I'm going to survive this.
Anyway, the lights are being turned out soon. It's curfew time.
Miss you most dearly,
Yours,
Shane.
Yours? Yours what? Was she being too bold once again?
Ah, who cares? She thought to herself, is Oliver ever going to have a chance to read these letters? Probably not.
She was exhausted and despite the uncomfortable bed, she slept through the night. She woke up early with the sound of voices and movement just outside her door. She got up and started her day. It passed quickly and she found herself again back in her little bedroom. She was almost ready to turn in for the night without having formed a single new friendship. She realised sadly that the close proximity with people was no indication of connection, no guarantee of friendships being made.
Steve was frustrated beyond belief. His plans regarding Shane were failing on an epic scale. He had no time for anything else other than sorting through the mess they were working on. Every time he thought he would be able to go and speak with her, someone needed him for this reason or that, to solve one problem after another.
The first two weeks had just flown by and they were no closer now than when they lived on the opposite sides of the country. In all that time, he had only managed to have one cup of coffee with her, and even during that short break they had been interrupted three times.
She never socialised with anybody, she was the first to disappear at the end of each day and he suspected she ate her meals alone most nights in her bedroom. She was obviously lonely and worst of all, she seemed sad. Was she missing Denver? Was she missing someone in Denver? He couldn't understand how a sophisticated, smart and modern woman like Shane could have fallen for a guy like Oliver who didn't seem to have anything going for him outside of his dusty little dead letter office. His world was so tiny; he probably didn't know a single person outside of Denver. Well, Steve was determined to hold on to Shane for as long as it took to make her forget Denver and everybody from that pathetic place. He was in it for the long haul and he wasn't going to give up, ever! Oliver was finished one way or another!
Dear Oliver,
I'm so lost without you.
I never thought I'd miss something as simple as opening a letter, but I do.
I know what I'm doing here is important but it's just been so extremely difficult.
I am so scared that I'm not qualified to do what they need me to do. Every day I feel as if I get further and further from how to solve this problem. I'm not sure why they included me in this team. I'm starting to have serious doubts that I'm useful at all.
I've made no friends, although I'm regularly surrounded by people everywhere. The conversation is usually shallow and more often than not, revolves around computer jargon.
I wish you were here, giving me the strength of your confidence, your belief in me that always made me perform above and beyond the call of duty. It's amazing what a little word of encouragement can achieve.
Miss you,
Yours,
Shane
The weeks were rushing by. Shane had hoped that by now they were making some progress and they would be allowed to go home. But no indication of that had been given so far. The team had been hard at work for almost 7 weeks and it seemed they were no closer to solving the crisis now than when they first started. To make matters worse, everyday now they could hear bombs exploding a little closer to their camp.
Yesterday they could even hear gun shots close by. The combat area was expending rather than shrinking!
Dear Oliver,
I never thought I'd pray so much. I didn't even know how to pray just a little while ago, and I never thought that God would become my best friend, my constant companion in these terrible times. I'm so afraid, Oliver. For the first time ever I'm afraid that my life is in danger.
I'm afraid I might not live long enough to see you again.
If I don't make back to Denver, you must promise me Oliver, I need you to promise me that you will move on. That you will never again put your life on hold no matter how hard it may be.
Please promise me that and please, please, please pray that I might come back.
With all my love,
Shane
Shane cried herself to sleep that night despite the bombs going off all night long. In the morning, they were evacuated to another camp about 20 miles south of their current location, which made things just marginally better.
But she had found a new reason to live. She had found God!
In her despair, loneliness and fear, she turned to the only one who would not be limited by circumstances; one who would be with her whether she lived or died.
Dear Oliver,
There's nothing more reinvigorating than the fear of death. I've decided I'm not dying yet regardless of how dangerous my current circumstances may be. I am absolutely determined to not only see you again but complete our first date. There are still lots that need to be said between us. I'm not done with you yet, Mr. O'Toole or our DLO, for that matter. Being here has certainly opened my eyes to the fact that the job that you and I, Norman and Rita do is so rewarding and important. Being here has made me realise I love Denver... so much! I love my job and I want it back. I'm a survivor, Oliver, and they'll need to try harder to kill me, or keep me away from you. I'm not giving in!
I've been told that within another week I'll be returning home. I just can't wait.
See you soon.
Yours, always,
Shane
Nine weeks had passed in that God forsaken land, wherever that land was. Shane was scheduled to be on the next flight home which was leaving the following morning. Steve had told her that he still needed her to tie up some loose ends in DC and then he'd release her to go home.
She just couldn't wait.
Steve and Shane sat beside each other on the flight home. He was very attentive and seemed a lot more relaxed than he had been for weeks. He asked her questions about Denver and the people she worked with as if he was interested. He had met all of them when they were in DC for the Miss Special Delivery pageant. He was not the least interested and he couldn't care less about any of them, especially Oliver.
But he realised Shane seemed to care about that crazy bunch and was delighted to talk about them, so, he had no choice but pretend he was listening. He had to try to make her trust him again. He needed to convince her that her presence in DC was indispensable so she wouldn't question staying and eventually it would become her home again.
The crisis was over with an excellent outcome but she didn't need to know that and he intended to prolong her stay for as long as he possibly could.
Shane was counting the hours she would be able to go home and see Oliver again. She hoped that after a day or two of doing whatever Steve needed to tie up some loose ends she would book her flight to Denver, to the Rockies, to Oliver. She couldn't help but remember Jonathan and Katherine. She smiled with the sweet memory of a certain bank vault long ago. She was swinging for the stars!
It had been a long 9 weeks. Thank God it was almost over.
She looked at Steve resting peacefully beside her and she thought he was a good man after all. She wished he'd find a good woman to love him as she loved Oliver. She had no idea what his heart was really like, how dark it really was behind his polished facade.
"For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."
I Samuel 16:7