I am a ghost in this house. I'm so afraid of screwing up again that I lock myself in the attic when I'm not at school. This way I have to stay out of trouble. I may be going insane. Technically, I would be off house arrest right now if it wasn't for Rose's stupidly awesome idea. She sure rocked her blue hair though. After school today she'll be a blond bombshell again. Some girls have already started showing up at school sporting colored hairstreaks. I guess they don't want to get grounded for going all the way. I don't blame them.
Because being grounded really sucks.
Now that Rose is being somewhat copied (she's such a trendsetter) she wants to go back to her natural color.
A light scratching against the attic door grabs my attention. "Psst, Alice."
"Jasper?" I ask, surprised.
"Shh! Yes, open the door."
"No way, I'm not adding any more time to my prison term. You, my friend, will have to wait three more days."
"Alice!" he whispers harshly. "Open the damn door."
I swing the door open, but his curly Golden Fleece hair isn't there to greet me. I find a rather basic looking device. A stupid, cheap Wal-mart-esque walkie-talkie. What, they couldn't even spring for something from Radio Shack?
I pick up the thing reluctantly. I nearly drop it when it screeches static at me.
"Alice?" it hisses. "All units within range, please report."
"Your message delivered. This is Emmett. Over," the thing hisses again.
"10-4. This is Alice. Over," I reply. What? I can't help it.
"Oh," replies Emmett, overemphasizing, "You know the lingo. Over."
"Stop goofing off and get back to the mission," Jasper scolds.
"What mission?" I ask, but then Emmett cuts in.
"Sorry, unable to copy. You didn't say over, over."
"We are spying on Edward and Bella. They are going out on a date," Jasper transmits.
My finger nearly breaks the button. I press so hard. "What!"
"Guys! 10-9. You didn't say over. Over." Emmett cuts in again.
"Are you serious?" I yell into the little black gadget, completely ignoring Emmett. "Why didn't she tell me?" How did I not see this?
"Um, are you going to make this about you?" Jasper replies, but the gadget distorts his voice a bit. He must be getting further out of range. "Shh! 10-3! Stop transmitting. Visitors in range."
"10-9. You didn't say over. And why would you say 10-3, and then say 'stop transmitting'. That is what 10-3 means. You basically just repeated 'stop transmitting' twice. Over," Emmett bellows. How could he be arguing the semantics of it, but not actually stop transmitting?
I climb down the attic stairs and make my way into Bella's room. The place is a mess. Clothes are thrown all over the place. She must have been confused about what to wear. Well, if the brat had asked me I could have helped. Humph!
I station myself near the window and look out. It's not like I can see anything from here, but it feels more like spying this way. I take a moment while waiting for an update to "look" ahead. I frown at what Bella decided to wear. Really? She couldn't wear something other than jeans? I let out a sigh. However, my frown turns upside down when I get a glimpse of their night. It's very basic. Dinner and a movie. Well, hunting and a movie. It's very sweet though. They are so cute.
"What are you doing?" Rosalie asks from the doorway. "Why are you sitting in the dark clutching a walkie-talkie?" Esme peeks her head around Rosalie. She's wearing an apron.
"Why are you wearing an apron?" I change the subject.
"I did the dishes. Why are you changing the subject?" Esme replies.
"Why were you doing the dishes?" I change the subject back.
"They were dusty. Stop changing the subject," she scolds.
The ugly little device chooses now to hiss and screech. "Units, come in. Visitors finished hunting. They took out roughly five deer. Female made a mess and male pushed her in the river. She retaliated by splashing him. Turned into a splash fight. After running around to dry off, they are now heading back for the car. Emmett, identify your station."
"Who are 'the visitors'?" Rosalie asks, using her fingers to make air quotes. "Should we be worried?"
"Is that Jasper? Why are you on walkie-talkies?" Esme asks.
"Shh!" I shush them when the device starts hissing. "Emmett!" Jasper barks.
I use the new break of silence to answer Rosalie and Esme's questions. "We are spying on Bella and Edward. They are the visitors. It's code. Dang."
Esme and Rosalie take a seat on the bed. They make themselves comfortable. Carlisle comes in and takes a seat at the desk. I guess he heard everything from whatever corner of the house he was hiding in.
Jasper yells Emmett's name again. Finally he responds, "Oh, I'm sorry. Am I supposed to respond now? I wasn't sure you were finished... since you didn't say over. Over."
"Emmett, could you please state your location? Over." Jasper requests very harshly.
"Thank you." Emmett continues by explaining his whereabouts. "Would you like the map coordinates? Over."
"No, I'm pretty sure I know where that is. Let me know when you make contact," Jasper replies. After a second he comes back on. "Over."
"Stand by. Over," Emmett shouts. I know his smug-ass is smiling.
"He is so going to get us busted with his big mouth," Rosalie sighs.
"You do realize that Edward will just read our thoughts later and find out anyway?" Carlisle adds.
"Whatever," I say, "Edward deserves his privacy to be compromised every once in awhile. And Bella deserves it for not telling me she was going on a date." I'm still staring out the window. Yep, nothing to report here. I take the walkie-talkie and press the button. "Nothing to report here." Sorry, couldn't help myself.
Esme and Rosalie snicker. I look at them questioningly.
"You didn't say over," Carlisle helps.
I quickly add, "Over."
"That's my girl. Alice, check ahead to see if we are going to be compromised. Over," Emmett says.
It takes me a second to sort through some scenarios, but everything comes out fine.
"Nothing to report here," I say. The device crackles and hisses but no words come through.
Esme sighs. "You forgot to say over."
I roll my eyes. "Over!" I shout. I receive high-pitched static noise as a response.
"Shit!" Jasper rasps, "My position may be compromised. 10-3." A second later a whispered, "Over," comes through. Rosalie giggles and Carlisle is chuckling as well.
"What is it, Alice?" Esme asks. She is so excited.
"I guess my over was a little too loud. Jasper is stalking them back to the car and Bella thought she heard my voice, but it's ok. She thinks she is just hearing things. I bet it's her guilty conscience." I mutter the last part.
After a quiet minute, Emmett's loud-ass is back on. "Awaiting your next message. Over."
Rosalie and Esme both groan.
"It's OK. Edward and Bella are out of range. Jasper is hanging back. He knew better than to trust Emmett to keep his mouth shut," I explain.
Bella and Edward enjoy a pretentious French movie from the backseat of Esme's SUV. There is a TV/DVD player hooked up in there. Yes, Esme drives a soccer mom car. No, the backseat situation isn't what you think. They are all cute and stuff… with their snuggling, and shy smiles. I don't know how Emmett pulls it off, but he somehow gets close enough to commentate this all to us. He actually uses an inside voice. Even better, an inside vampire whisper voice.
Rosalie and I are in hysterics when Jasper starts imitating Bella. Emmett acts as Edward. For some reason, Emmett's Edward has a pompous northern old-money accent. I am so thankful I don't have to breathe, because I can't.
Of course Esme gets all defensive. "Oh, he does not sound like that." She lightly slaps Rosalie's shoulder. "And Bella would not appreciate Jasper's shrill impersonation."
Laughing while she talks, Rosalie adds, "Yeah… because it sounds more like Alice." I grab a pillow and throw it at her head. I get her good because she's laughing so hard she isn't paying attention.
"Mission complete. Visitors are heading back to headquarters. All units are secure. This is your captain signing off," Jasper says as the sun starts to rise. "Oh, and Alice… I hope you are feeling better and were distracted for a little while."
Esme and Rosalie both sigh, "Aw." Carlisle is grinning.
I am grinning too.
"I didn't hear an over. Over."
10-3 = Stop transmitting
10-4 = Message received
10-9 = Repeat message
Rec's: Author – DoUTrustMe
Jessica0306 is my beta and all mistakes can be blamed on her. ;P
She is also my muse.
(Those of you reading my other story - sorry for being that person. I am trying to finish it so that when I do post again it's complete…)