Bella and I aren't speaking to each other.

She had the audacity to soil my favorite cashmere sweater. The one I got in Paris. I've had that sweater since the 1950s. It is vintage. I also want to say it's expensive - it was at the time - but the price I paid then is considered chump change now.

That's beside the point. It's irreplaceable.

"What is the matter with you two? You are making it hard to breathe in here," Carlisle complains. He's eyeing both of us from the rearview mirror.

Neither one of us responds. I don't because I don't want her to think I want to talk to her. Maybe it's the same for her as well, but I don't care for her reasons. Nope.

Jasper sighs. I elbow him in the ribs.

"We are supposed to be having a nice family vacation," Esme says from the front passenger seat. The seat I clearly called shot-gun for but was overruled by her Totalitarian ways.

Now I have to sit in the back near Bella. Well, in the middle. Esme rented a minivan. Yep, a family of vamps is riding to the airport in a minivan. Wait! I wonder if I can change flights so I don't have to get on the same plane as her. I grab my cell from my purse.

"Mom, Alice is trying to book a different flight," Edward tattles from the back of the van. Edward and Bella are squished next to Emmett in the seats behind me, Jasper and Rose. The fact that Bella was going to be uncomfortable on the ride there had given me some comfort after Esme stole my seat, but she ended up sitting on Edward's lap.

"Shut up, Edward!" I screech back. Jasper grabs the phone from my hand and turns it into dust. I cross my arms over my chest in silent fury. I have, like, three more phones in my purse so it's really not a huge loss.

"You're cleaning that up," Esme calmly states to Jasper. He just shrugs his shoulders. "And you, young lady, are going to hang out with your family whether you like it or not." I know she's looking at me but I refuse to make eye contact. I told you, "Totalitarian".

We arrive at the airport way ahead of schedule. Us vampires are nothing if not efficient.

I check in all four of my bags, leaving just my carry on. Everyone else just has a carry on, so they are waiting for me. They may also be waiting to make sure I don't dazzle my way onto a different flight. Instead, I decide to dazzle the clerk into not charging me for my extra bags, but realize half way through my spiel that it's unnecessary because I'm flying First Class, and all checked luggage is at no cost. Well, at least I made his day.

As I grab my ticket from the counter, an angry passenger pushes his way to the desk beside me. He slaps his ticket on the counter and says, "I have to be on this flight and it has to be First Class."

The clerk I was dealing with shakes his head a little and turns to focus on this rude guy. He's clearly still bewildered from my dazzling personality. The rude guy's clerk briefly glances at the ticket and says, "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to help you, but I've got to help these folks first. Then I'm sure we'll be able to work something out." She motions to the line of people the man had skipped ahead of.

The rude man is unimpressed. He asks loudly, loud enough so the other passengers behind him can hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?"

I sure don't. I'm curious if I should. Of course I am still standing here holding up traffic. I always love good drama. I can tell the poor clerk is frustrated though, so I decide to step in.

I smile and grab the clerk's public address microphone. "May I have your attention, please?" I begin, my voice being heard throughout the terminal. I can sense my family coming towards me. They, no doubt, are afraid of what I am about to do.

"We have a passenger here at the ticket counter who does not know who he is. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to the Delta ticket counter."

The folks behind him in line laugh hysterically. Rude Guy glares at me, then the clerk, grits his teeth and says, "Fuck You!" I let the clerk pull the microphone away from me.

Without flinching, I smile my charming Alice smile and say, "I'm sorry, sir, you'll have to get in line for that, too."

Before Rude Guy can retaliate, Jasper pulls me away from the counter while making apologies to the airline staff. He doesn't apologize to Rude Guy.

I think maybe I might get in trouble, but we are flying First Class. You can get away with anything when you fly First Class.

"Really, Alice! I can't believe you," Esme scolds, as we make our way through the security line.

I glance over at Bella and I can see a smile trying to fight its way onto her face. She's too stubborn to even acknowledge my awesome burn. Pfft, I know she wants to laugh. I cross my arms over my chest again. Well, whatever, Bella. Act too cool. See if I care.

The flight is boring. I made sure my seat was far from Bella's, but I forgot Jasper brought his DVD player with some crappy war documentaries. Occasionally he mumbles a one-sided argument towards the screen. Something like, "That's not how it happened," or "They are getting it all wrong." While he's immersed, I'm stuck watching Everyone Loves Raymond reruns.

I think I will recognize this as the moment I miss the ability to sleep the most.

I can hear Bella tapping the keys on her Nintendo DS two rows behind me. Edward seems to be reading a giant book of nerd. Seriously, the book is huge. And old. Has he never heard of a Kindle?

"Shut up, Alice!" Edward whispers harshly.

"Get out of my head, nerd," I whisper-yell back. He closes his book roughly, and it's so big you can hear a small thud as the cover comes together.

"What is the matter with all of you?" Carlisle sternly asks. It's too soft for the humans to hear, but we still catch the coarseness in his tone. He is not happy.

"Bella and Alice are fighting," Rose whispers to the group. Again, too soft for human ears. She's focused on the magazine in her lap.

"Oh no, you two. You will make up this instant. I will not have your immature tantrums ruin our family vacation!" Esme reprimands.

She acts like we fight all the time. We don't. Well, not all the time.

Emmett is giggling. He always thinks it's funny when we have full conversations around others without them knowing.

I scoff. I'm not apologizing. She ruined my sweater.

Edward sighs loudly. "Gosh darn it, Alice! She was wearing a sundress and that sweater. That stupid sweater, which you made her wear. Which was a size too small. And it was snug. Real snug. She already told you she didn't mean it."

My arms are across my chest again. I'm staring out the window as hard as I can.

"Wow, you must be frustrated. You aren't even speaking in proper sentences," Rosalie laughs.

"You are being a little hard on Bella," Emmett pipes in. I turn and glare at him.

"You know, back in the day, those fuzzy soft sweaters were referred to as petting sweaters," he continues on, ignoring my fierce glare.

"It's ok, Em," Bella replies, "I don't need your help. Let her be a bit-" Bella doesn't get a chance to finish, because Edward quickly covers her mouth.

I swiftly turn around in my seat and grasp onto the headrest. A few people near me look over, startled by my actions.

"You should have known better than to go hunting… with Mr. Sloppy Pants over here," I say, pointing at Edward.

Bella tries to stand but the ceiling is too low, so she's sort of standing/squatting. "You knew that was our plan! You still insisted I wear that stupid sweater."

"I thought I could trust you to be more responsible," I hiss back.

"I thought you were a psychic!" she screeches. Her voice is getting gradually louder. Edward tries to pull her down in her seat while making shushing noises. "Didn't you see the outcome of what would happen if you dressed me up like a tart?"

Jasper sends out a wave of calm, but I swish my hand in his face to get him to stop. "I didn't realize my brother was such a sex addict that he has to put his grubby paws all over you every time you leave the house." Jasper switches to tugging on my arm, trying to get me to turn around in my seat. "I liked him better as a prude. At least then my clothes came back in one piece."

Bella scoffs. Edward looks abashed. What did he expect? He should be ashamed of himself. She came back with a blood stained handprint on the front of my favorite sweater.

"It was in one piece," she pronounces slowly.

"You threw it in the dirty clothes hamper with a blood stain. Do you know how hard it is to get blood out of cashmere… let alone after letting it sit for days?"

I want to say impossible and let her feel guilty for ruining my sweater, but I have mad skills and she'd never believe me.

"You know how he is when we hunt together," Bella retorts, leaning over Rosalie's seat. Rosalie scoots closer to the window, giving Bella and I perfect viewing access. She's still focused on the magazine in her lap.

"Bel-la," Edward whispers. Clearly he doesn't like being involved in this argument.

"So, what? You're telling me it's Edward's fault?" I sneer.

We both kind of stop and take a minute to contemplate things. After a short pause, we look over at Edward at the same time.

He sighs.

"You're right. It is his fault," I say seriously. Bella nods her head affirming this.

Edward grabs his book from the floor and starts reading again.

I smile at Bella. "I can never stay mad at you."

She smiles back. "You are the wind beneath my wings," she jokingly quotes.

"Can both of you please return to your seats now?" Rosalie asks, still looking at the magazine. "I should never have sat between you two," she mumbles to herself.

I come back to reality and notice we have a small audience. Some passengers are looking at us strangely. I gracefully sit down in my seat. Bella just flops down.

It's a good thing we kept our voices down, because our conversation would have made no sense.

I look over at Jas, to find him smiling at the screen. He has his headphones on, but I know he can still hear me. "What are you smiling about?" I ask.

He wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulls me close, and kisses my head. "Oh, nothing."

Bella jumps up (squats up) holding a SkyMall magazine. "They have decoder rings in here. We have to get these!" I turn around to look as she stretches her arm towards me. She's leaning over Rose's chair again, so Rose slaps her arm away. Not being deterred, she climbs over Edward, who is once more engrossed in his book. Jasper is well aware of what is happening, so he stands up holding his DVD player, lets Bella pass, and walks towards Edward. His eyes never leave his screen. Edward scoots over to Bella's seat, leaving his vacant for Jasper. They both continue on like nothing happened.

I grab the magazine from Bella as she sits next to me.

"Decoder rings," I say in bewilderment. I look over and match her evil grin.

If the family thought it was hard to keep up with us before, let them try to sort through our secret Best Friend codes.

I stole the Rude Guy bit from one of those cheesy joke emails my mom forwarded to me.

You would've received this chapter earlier today if my beta wasn't so lazy. I mean, seriously. The things I have to put up with. She saved it as an Apple file, which my computer didn't want to open.

Me - Where is my chapter?

Jess - I have to resave it at home and resend it.

Jess - Sorry.

Jess - It's all done though.

Me – =/

Jess - I AM SORRY.

Jess - I did it while I sleep trained the baby. Which means, I did it while he cried himself to sleep.

Jess - He slept the whole damn night, though, so it's all good.

Jess - :(

You can thank reds-red for pushing me to get this chapter out. Her PM made me laugh and I realized I needed to get my shit together.

That's right, Jess. I only gave thanks to one of my readers. You will get my thanks when you earn it.