"If there is something to pardon in everything, there is also something to condemn."
~Friedrich Nietzsche
"Sir, how did you know I would betray you?" asked Harry, wrapping his jacket tightly around him. The wind had picked up, almost as if it was trying to push them back to the church... to keep them away from Potter Manor. Harry had to agree with the element, but Dumbledore hadn't relented, and so he found himself half stumbling through the graveyard with bits of leaf and grass blowing in his face. His father would have a fit to see his heir behave in such an undignified manner, but he wasn't his heir anymore. He didn't` answer to him now.
"The memories you showed me back at Grimmauld Place were fake, from that point on I knew your purpose," replied Dumbledore, his fast gait betraying the grandfatherly image he displayed, and Harry was having trouble keeping up.
Looking to the sky, he saw that it had darkened, obsidian clouds hovered above them, crackling with barely suppressed fury before releasing their rage. The rain fell hard and fast, pelting the gravestones, and church, the sound of their impact creating a drumming noise. Harry saw more akin to a ticking clock, however, as the time of his confession drew nearer. Feeling the cold from the rain permeate into his bones, he shivered slightly, Harry Potter, heir to Lord Voldemort vanished, instead replaced by a young man, cold, and needing absolution, although he doubted he would get it. He deserved this, and when Dumbledore offered him sanctuary underneath the mauve umbrella he had conjured, Harry refused.
As the water washed away every remnant of the man he had been since his mission had began, Harry felt normal, like he belonged here. Whether his family saw it, he never knew, but he had picked a side. Looking around, he saw raindrops drip off the willows, crying along with the sky, and Harry wondered if these were tears of joy or pain. Feeling his eyes burn once more, he allowed himself to cry too, the rain masking any grief he chose to show.
He cried for his father. The man who raised him, and had become so lost in the idea of power that he was willing to abandon everything. He cried for his family. The people who had so kindly took him in, knowing who he was, but not treating him any differently because of it. He cried for himself. For having to chose sides in an almost impossible situation, and seeing that what he had once thought to be true, were in fact lies, fed to him in an effort to make him a weapon. But most of all, he cried for Ginny. The sweet girl, who despite everything stood by him, showing him what it was like to be normal, and caring for him in ways no one else had before. He had let down everyone, and if Dumbledore noticed his anguish he never said anything, merely sitting them down on a bench underneath one of the trees until he was finished.
It was the first time he had cried since he was a child, and when he opened his eyes, he saw the truth. There were no more lies to hide behind, his tears had washed away any pretence that nothing had changed, and now he had to deal with the consequences of this choice.
"Sir, why did you take me in? You knew I was a horrible person, that I would only sell you all out to the Dark Lord. There was no reason to keep me," asked Harry, his voice rough, but thankfully Dumbledore ignored it. He needed a distraction, something to prevent his mind tormenting him about his misdeed.
"You deserved a chance. When I saw you with Ginny, I saw the man you could be, and he needed the opportunity to come out," said Dumbledore, after a pause.
"I failed your expectations then," replied Harry, tracing a raindrop as it fell down his hand, clinging onto his fingertip before falling onto the muddy path.
"No, you didn't, Harry. I highly doubt that anyone would have done anything differently when placed in your situation. You never understood, you were raised on hatred and lies, the important thing is that now you know the truth," said Dumbledore, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"We should go back now," said Harry finally, mustering up all his courage before getting to his feet. Seeing Dumbledore smile, he wondered if he could make the man proud yet.
"We were starting to get worried about you, Harry," admonished Lily gently, seeing Harry's dripping form grace the doorstep, "Get out of your wet things, I've got a Pepper-Up potion in the medicine cabinet, I'll have it ready for when you come back… Albus, what are you doing here?" Dumbledore had chosen at this point to make his presence known, and Harry internally cringed, wishing he could be anywhere else but there.
"There are a few things Harry and I need to discuss with yourself and James," replied Dumbledore, drying himself off with his wand, before doing the same for Harry. Lily's confused expression turned to one of concern in a heartbeat.
"Is everything alright?"
"I'll leave that for you to decide," said Dumbledore, "May we take this conversation to the lounge?"
"Of course, but Sirius, Remus, and Ginny are here, is that alright?"
"Yes, yes, it won't be a bother," came the reply, dashing Harry's hopes. His parents were going to be hard enough without company to deal with. His thoughts rested on Ginny, and he felt his heart plummet even further. He would be lucky if he got out of this alive at this rate.
James and Sirius were sitting on the couch, with Remus and Ginny in the armchairs. It appeared that the Marauder's were telling her of some of their 'exploits' whilst at Hogwarts, and they were met with a chorus of laughter when they entered.
"And then, McGonagall came up and asked 'Mr Potter, would you like to explain why my hair is red?'"
"What did you reply?" asked Ginny, grinning slightly.
"I may have tried to convince her she was part demon," replied James, earning more laughter.
"James, we have a visitor," said Lily, amusement glimmering in her eyes at the sight of her husband. It was still strange to see the old James Potter, not unwelcome, but strange nonetheless. Hearing his laughter reminded her of better times, and she felt him drag her into a good mood just by listening to his joy.
This good mood was ended when she saw how uncomfortable Harry looked.
Despite Dumbledore's reassurance, Lily knew that something big had happened. Part of her wanted to chalk it up to 'a mother knows' but seeing Harry's tense posture was the equivalent of a neon sign saying there was something wrong.
James saw it too, and his relaxed posture became strained, the laughter freezing on his face. Standing up, he offered Dumbledore his seat, and the aged wizard accepted with a 'Thank you'. Glancing at Harry, she saw he looked too wary to sit down, and part of her was reminded of how he was when she first saw him again after all that time. Now wary herself, she felt the tension in the room thicken as one by one the occupants became aware that they were missing something.
Seeing Ginny's eyes land on Harry, Lily saw the familiar warmth she often saw in James's eye, and she tried not to smile. They were meant for each other, and she found the similarities between herself and James to the young teenagers amusing. It appeared Potter's really did have a thing for red heads, and not even a psychotic megalomaniac could erase that compulsion. However, she also noticed concern flash in Ginny's eyes, and Harry focusing on the floor, not able to look at her or anyone else.
"Albus, what is wrong?" asked Lily, determined to find out what was causing her son pain.
"Harry, I think you should tell them," said Dumbledore, looking as calm as ever, a stark contrast to the atmosphere in the room.
As Harry spoke, Lily felt her eyes burn slightly. Her baby boy had been made to do so much for that man, and now here he was, finally opening up to them about it. She never cared that the documents were now in Voldemort's hands, all she really cared about was that he had seen the error of his ways. It hadn't gone unnoticed by her that day in Diagon Alley, that Harry had trouble with coping with people. She had seen the revulsion on his face when a witch had crashed into him, the barely restrained fury, and from that moment she had known that he wasn't fully theirs yet, that he still carried Voldemort's taint.
Now, however, she saw a nervous young man, withdrawn as if expecting a rebuke any minute. The anguish in his voice as he told of the realisation about Voldemort coupled with the defensive stance broke something inside Lily. This was their boy, not the man they had been seeing before now. Looking over at James, their eyes locked, and in that moment they both understood, through a connection that went beyond husband and wife, what to do.
As Harry came to the end, he seemed to close in on himself further, and Lily approached him, James by her side. Embracing him, she ran her fingers through his hair, feeling him lean heavily on her. It had taken him a lot to tell them this, and he clung to her desperately, worried in case he would be torn away.
"Shhh, it's okay, Harry. We forgive you," murmured Lily, holding on to the shaking boy tightly.
"Your mum's right, son, there's nothing to be ashamed of. You did what you thought was right," reinforced James, wrapping his arms around both of them.
"I betrayed you, how can you be alright with that?" asked Harry, his voice muffled.
"Harry, no matter what you do we will love you," whispered Lily.
"Listen to your parents, Pup," said Sirius, and Lily wanted to hug him too.
"Yes, Harry, no damage was caused by this," said Remus.
"Thank you," said Harry quietly, withdrawing from their embrace. Lily saw emerald green eyes bore into hers, searching for some hint of a lie. He looked rejuvenated, younger, than he had been the previous times she had seen him, and now Lily understood how heavy a burden this would have been to bear. Roaming James's eyes, she saw he reached the same conclusion, before standing back.
"I, I need to be alone, please excuse me," said Harry, heading upstairs to his bedroom.
Watching everyone else in the room, Lily never saw anger on anyone's face, all she saw was understanding, and it warmed her heart slightly.
"That's the Harry we lost sixteen years ago," said Sirius, pride radiating in his voice.
"Do you think he'll be alright?" asked Remus, eyeing the staircase warily.
"I'll go and check on him," said Ginny, speaking for the first time since Harry had confessed. When she disappeared up the stairs, Lily turned to James, smiling slightly.
"Are you okay?" she asked, scanning his face. He looked tired, but Lily could see the relief surrounding him.
"Yes, we knew something like this might happen, I'm just glad he told us," replied James, clasping her hand and squeezing it slightly.
"Me too."
"I'll take my leave, I daresay there is something at Hogwarts which requires my attention," said Dumbledore, smiling benignly at everyone, before disapparating with a sharp crack.
"We should head off too, I'm sure you all have a lot to discuss," said Remus, giving them both a hug.
"Yeah, is it okay if we come round tomorrow though?" asked Sirius.
"What are you thinking?" asked James, grinning slightly. Lily just rolled her eyes, it was obvious James already knew, it was like they were telepathic.
"Three-a-side Quidditch?" said Sirius, his eyes sparkling with mischief.
"You're on," agreed James, shaking hands with his friend, before Sirius and Remus disapparated.
Now alone with each other, Lily wrapped her arms around James's waist, pulling him into another hug. Feeling his hands run down her back, she smiled, relaxing into his touch.
"Are you really okay?" he asked, running one of his hands through her hair gently.
"It will take time, are you?" whispered Lily.
"I will be, it's just a lot to take in," confessed James.
"I know."
A/N: Thank you for the feedback! I think I should explain the POV change. In the previous chapter, and this one, I showed Harry's internal emotional response to confessing, and so writing it again would just be a repeat. Using Lily, I wanted to try and portray why they are so understanding, and show that they weren't as stupid as Harry originally thought - they knew something like this could happen all along, they just never let on. Personally I think their reaction here is the most realistic, I don't think James and Lily would disown him or be really angry, the list was of no consequence (which is why it was so easy to get to), and it's his response to it that is the most important - a test from Dumbledore so to speak. Harry has responded well, showing true remorse for his actions, therefore he has passed, and is now becoming Light. I hope that makes sense, Dumbledore generally has his way of testing people, so I hope this is plausible - I think this is the longest Author's Note I've ever done!
Next chapter, Harry and Ginny's conversation - I haven't forgotten about them!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter.
I apologise for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes contained within this chapter.
Please Review! I'm really nervous about this chapter :/