'You can't force someone to love you. All you can do is become worthy of love.'
~ Unknown
Harry gazed out of the window, tracing the raindrops falling down the darkened panes of glass with numb fingertips.
They had forgiven him.
The thought was almost overwhelming, and the fact sent him reeling. Why would they forgive him? He had turned his back on them, betrayed them to their potential destroyer. He deserved punishment, not hugs and spiels about forgiveness.
Flopping back onto his bed, he saw the window continued to cry. The rain wasn't letting up, in fact he thought it was getting stronger, pelting the manor with frosty gems of water. His room was cold. The fire had been extinguished long ago, but he never lit it. If they wouldn't punish him, then he ought to make himself miserable. Pay his penance through his own means.
Closing his eyes, he wished he could see something more than the faces of loving family and friends. Hurtful words would have been better. This was something he never understood, it was hurting him, making him feel worse than he had when he had brought Dumbledore here. It took him a moment to realise, but he felt ashamed, tainted, and wishing to repent for his sins in ways his parents wouldn't allow. If Voldemort were in their place he would have crucio'd him, the feeling of his blood burning distracting him from the guilt of betrayal. The splintering pain as his muscles spasmed, crushing his bones, making him feel as if he had suffered enough for forgiveness to be acceptable. He hadn't suffered enough under the Potter's, not nearly enough.
"Harry?" Ginny's questioning voice was like balm to his wounds, soothing the raging animal that wished to tear his flesh from his bones. Anything that would take away this suffering, and make him feel better.
"Ginny, I'm surprised you want to see me," his voice came out bitter, harsh, and he tried to drive her away. Her soothing presence was helping none of his atonement. However, she never left, or took umbrage before storming down the stairs before renouncing him as a traitor. Instead, all Ginny did was sit next to him, wrapping her arms around his slender frame, and holding him close. His befuddled mind soon realised that she was comforting him, taming him like one would an animal.
"Harry, of course I would want to see you. I know what you're going through." These words shocked his system. How could pure, sweet Ginny know what was going on his his mind?
"How?" he asked, his voice slightly hoarse, trying to rein his emotions in.
"I was possessed by Voldemort once. Under his control I did terrible things, unleashing a monster on the students, and killing one of them. When it was time for me to be disposed, I was commanded to go to the Chamber of Secrets, the monster would consume me as well, but Dumbledore saved me. Afterwards, all anyone did was say they forgave me, that it wasn't me who did it. However, possessed or not, I did those things, and no one was angry at me, they all understood. It infuriated me at first, before I realised…" she trailed off.
"Realised what?" he asked, prompting her to go on. Her body was trembling, and he knew she hadn't told anyone else this. He was the first she had confided in. He knew of the horcruxes, of the incident at Hogwarts, his father had taken particular glee at that, before punishing everyone when it went sour. The fact that it was Ginny embroiled in that mess, made his heart alight with anger, only adding to the myriad of emotions coursing through his weary mind.
"I realised that they were only doing it because they loved me. No matter what my body… I had done, they would forgive me because they loved me."
"But it doesn't make sense! How can one emotion override so many?" asked Harry, relishing her warmth around him even though he knew he shouldn't. Her hair smelt flowery, and he breathed it in, well aware that this could be the final time, that Ginny would soon see what he had done and flee.
"Because love is what ties us together, and is only more powerful during wartime. Without love, there would be no balance to the hate. Hating, and not forgiving doesn't help someone move on, and create a better impression to those they love and who love them in return," whispered Ginny, and he could feel her breath tickle the back of his neck.
"What do you see me as?" asked Harry, the question hovering in the air. It was now or never…
"I see you as a young man, fed lies all your life, and, by acting on these, hates himself on discovering their falsehood," said Ginny. Again this was why he loved her. She spoke the sharp truth, and normally he would hate how cutting they were, but today he allowed the blood they drew to flow freely, absolving him just a little bit more of his sins.
"You see me as redeemable? That I'm not beyond redemption?"
"I believe that no one is beyond redemption, but whilst wanting others forgiveness - which you have, by the way - you must also learn to forgive yourself," her hand slithered down to his heart, feeling its steady beat, "You are human, therefore you are fallible."
Harry placed his hand over hers, tracing patterns on her soft skin. Truly he had never felt so safe, encased in someone's arms. She placed her head on his shoulder, sending him a heated glance. With that one look, the air seemed to electrify. It pulsed, wrapping its tendrils around them, ensnaring them in its charm. Sitting up, Harry moved next to Ginny, running a finger down her cheek, checking to see if this was really happening. It seemed childish, but really, how could someone love him right now? Despite Ginny's reassurances, he doubted everything. Was everyone just showing him a mask of what he wanted to see?
Ginny, seeing his inner turmoil, took control. Leaning in, Harry only had about a second before their lips crashed together. Moving in sync, Harry tangled his fingers in her fiery tresses, feeling the silky strands run through his hands. Ginny's arms wrapped around his waist, pulling his closer, giving him a sense of security he had only known in these past few minutes. Melting into her embrace, he felt her do the same, and quickly the kiss became heated. Parting her lips, he invaded the moist cavern that was her mouth, all delicacy forgotten as need overtook him. He needed to forget, to feel safe, and she needed to help him, using him as a way to get past her own trauma as well as his own. Raw passion hovered in the air, claiming to two teenagers, bringing them together in a time when they most needed each other, and they were helpless to refuse. Finally, when oxygen became a problem, they broke apart, panting slightly, but still embracing. Moving his hands down to her shoulders, he held her in his arms as she was him, both falling heavily onto the bed, and both startled by the electricity crackling between them.
There was no need for words, both knew the other just needed to lie there, to feel loved. The sound of her soft breathing filled Harry's ears, and he moved his hand, hovering just over her heart. It was beating quickly, and he marvelled that he had brought about this reaction in her, that she could love him enough to provoke a physiological response. She did the same, resting her hand on his chest, both drawing comfort from the steadily slowing beats as they went back to their normal rhythm.
Harry never knew how long they lay there, his mind blissfully blank, focused only on the present. The hours ticked past, and soon he became aware that the rain had stopped, it was still dark, but it made the room seem slightly warmer, only more so by Ginny's presence.
"Harry?" her voice broke the silence, ringing out, and bringing him back.
"I know what I have to do," he said shakily, unknowing when he had decided that this was indeed the right course of action. However, she was right, he had to prove he could make a better impression, to make him into the man who deserved the beauty that lay contentedly in his arms. It might kill him, that he was well aware, but if it redeemed him in her and his eyes, then it was worth it.
A/N: Thank you for the feedback, I'm overwhelmed by how involved people are getting in this story. I'll admit, I choked up a little at this chapter which has never happened to me before - bit worried about that actually. I know it's short, but making it longer would spoil it in my opinion, and I honestly don't want to change it. I hope you have enjoyed this chapter, I'm sorry it took a while to get out, I've been focusing on another fic - my aim is to get all of my ongoing fics finished by the end of August... wish me luck O.o
IMPORTANT NOTE: It's my birthday next Sunday (31st July same day as Harry... is it sad that I'm really happy about that? XD) and so I won't post again next weekend. I'll try to have another chapter up a few days after though :)
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter *sigh*
I apologise for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes contained within this chapter.
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