Hirai Eiji knew what the perfect epithet for him would be.
'Here lies Hirai Eiji, he sure knew how to pick them.' Probably with one of those emoji things the kids liked. Yes, that would do. Then his children's children would know exactly what a failure their grandfather was when it came to love. How he somehow always picked the worst possible women. How he had somehow gone from someone who he couldn't stand and who couldn't stand him in return to…well…
What could he even say about Masami?
He didn't even know…so he said nothing. He said nothing as the kids asked him for the thousandth time why they had left mom at home, where were they going, why did they have to take so many trips, and if the city had blown up again. He didn't know what he was supposed to tell them. The truth was out of the question. There was no way that they were ready to hear it. He wasn't even ready to hear it…he didn't even understand it. There was still so much to take in…so much to puzzle out…so much to deal with…
Well, he was going to have plenty of time for that, now wasn't he?
"Dad? Why are we just staring at grandma and grandpa's house? Why aren't we going in? Why are their stairs green now? What color are their socks? How many licks does it take to get to the bubble center of a chewy pop?" asked Madoka, going a mile minute. She was restless, they all were. Mari was fussing, Juro was kicking the seat in front of him, and Eiji…really needed to get out of the car. He needed to get the kids out and get inside and then…and then figure out what he was going to do with the rest of his life.
This would have been so much easier with Masami.
"Seven hundred and five." Said Eiji as he put the car in park and cut the ignition. Masami would have been out of the car already with the kids and all of their stuff, too. She would have had them all calm and pleasant for Mom and Dad. She would have made sure that they didn't have one more thing to be disapproving of…not that his marriage was any of their business. So what if this was going to be his second divorce? People got divorced all the time these days, it was very fashionable, and anyway it was better to get divorced while the kids were young than have them spend their lives watching their parents argue like cats and dogs…
Well, that had been his last marriage…
"Alright, everybody out!" said Eiji as he opened his door. This was it, no going back, and not just because he didn't want to waste the gas money. He needed to get these restless kids out of here and then deal with Mom and Dad and then…and then figure out what he was supposed to do now. The kids needed to unpack and eat and…and then there was school, school wasn't cancelled here like it was back in Seasoning City…and there was finding them a doctor and Madoka's judo and karate and she had been talking about taking some kind of fight dancing class…all of that was going to cost money…money that he didn't have. Not to himself, Masami was still on the account, and anyway if he even still had a job it was in Seasoning City…so he was going to have to look for work and that wasn't going to be easy at his age…and then there was the matter of how much he still owed on the house-
-Masami could deal with that.
"And stop fighting. Do you want me to turn this car around and…yeah?" asked Eiji. An empty threat. The kids knew it too, he could see it in their eyes. He opened their door and unbuckled them, Mari reaching out for him the whole time. She was out of sorts. She missed her mother…they all did…all of Masami's children missed her.
All of them.
"Now come on, let's see grandma and grandpa." Said Eiji as he pulled Mari from her baby seat. He reached out with his free hand and groped around for the diaper bag. Madoka practically tossed it at him before pushing past him and out of the car. She seemed fine now but it would sink in, soon, for her and Juro that they were never going to see their mother again…and then he would be the bad guy. He had to be the bad guy here. They couldn't be around Masami, it just wasn't safe. He'd spent their whole lives telling them not to talk to strangers after all.
And there was no one stranger than Masami.
He made sure to keep his balance as he carried Mari in one hand and the diaper bag in the other. He didn't know how Masami did it…he didn't know how she did a lot of things. His mind was still reeling. It hadn't stopped since that…that man had shown up at their doorstep. The one who claimed that Masami…it was too surreal for words. That she had another family out there, children and all, that she had cheated on her ex-husband and that was why she'd run away…that she'd made it all up. Everything about her ex-husband's neglect and cruelty…that her ex-husband was somehow the person who had led the terrorist attack…that somehow the 'delusional criminal organization' wasn't so delusional after all…that somehow super powers were real….that Madoka had inherited them from her real…from that man. From that…that…
There were some things that Eiji was going to have to keep to himself.
He didn't think that he could figure out a way to explain the truth, not in the fifteen seconds it took to walk up to the door and ring the bell. Mom and Dad were more likely to have him committed than to believe him. He didn't even believe it himself, not really…and not just because he didn't want to believe it. What had happened, the truth, it defied all logic.
So logically, of course, the thing to do in this scenario was lie his ass off.
The time was coming, after all. He could hear footsteps. The doorknob turned. The door opened. There was Dad. He looked a little older, a little skinnier, and a little frailer…but also a little more disappointed in his son. Just when Eiji thought that none of those things could have gotten worse here he was. He tried to muster a smile as Mari jammed her fingers up his nose. This was for the kids, after all…for them, so they didn't have to grow up with a mother like…so they didn't have to know the truth about their mother.
Parents were supposed to be disappointed in their children, not the other way around.
"Dad, it's nice to-" said Eiji, trying to give his best hundred watt smile. He wound up somewhere between a Christmas light and a dying bug zapper. Not that it mattered. He got the feeling that dad would have been disappointed in him just the same whether he'd been jumping for joy or sobbing on the ground in a puddle of his own failure. Failure as a husband and as a man…two divorces…he knew exactly what Dad was going to say….and he supposed that he had no choice but to take it, now didn't he?
It wasn't like he had anywhere else to go.
"And I suppose you have nothing to say for yourself?" Eiji groaned. Of course that would be the first thing out of Dad's mouth. Not even a 'how do you do?' He would have thought that texting would have been enough. That telling Dad that things hadn't worked out and that he needed a place to stay while he picked up the broken pieces of his life would have been enough to satiate the old man…but of course it hadn't been enough. Nothing was ever enough for him. No, he wouldn't be happy until Eiji was hanging his head in shame.
Fine.
"Hi Dad, it's nice to see you again." Said Eiji. The kids ran past him, a chorus of 'grandma' and 'grandpa' followed them. He also heard the words 'where are our presents' which he knew he should have put a stop to but didn't. Masami had been the one to care about those sorts of things, not him. Let Mom and Dad spoil the kids rotten, he didn't care. Someone in that family deserved to be happy.
"Hm…" said the old man as he looked Eiji up and down. Eiji shrank under his gaze like cheap fabric in hot water…or was it cold water? He wasn't sure, Masami was the one who normally handled the laundry…something else that he was going to have to do. Something else that he was going to fail at. Another reason for the old man to weigh him and find him wanting.
But it wasn't like he had anywhere else to go.
"Eiji's here, I guess we have to at least look at him!" shouted Dadas mom materialled behind him. She, at least, was trying to hide her disappointment…not well but she was trying….though maybe it would have been better if they had just gotten it all out in the open. At least then…whatever, it was what it was. Eiji sighed and passed Mari over to him. He took her and passed her into Mom's awaiting arms…somehow having mom disappointed in him was the worst thing of all. He slipped his shoes off and took his first steps back into his childhood home. He wondered why he had ever left, with how many times he'd wound up back here there hadn't seemed to be much of a point to moving out after all.
"Mari!" said Mom as she held Mari close. The kids instantly grabbed onto her skirt and tried pulling her in two different directions. Mom, at least, seemed happy. Dad just huffed and motioned for him to close the door. Eiji did just that, feeling like a kid again…like at any moment Dad was going to tell him off for wasting heat or electricity or…or something…
Nearly fifty years old on the outside and nearly fifteen years old on the inside.
"Get a move on, melon head. There's tea in the kitchen." Said Dad. Eiji nodded and followed. The last thing he wanted to do was have tea…well, actually, a cup of tea sounded wonderful….but not one with Dad. On his own without the kids screaming or Masami at home probably crying or doing that thing she did where she just laid in bed for hours and hours staring at the walls….he wondered if she'd taken her medicine yet. He wondered if she'd had enough to eat and drink, she forgot to do both when she got into one of her episodes, he wondered if she…he needed to stop wondering about her. He knew that wondering about her wellbeing would lead to wondering about her…about her past…and he didn't think that he wanted to dig any deeper than he already was. She had another family, she had abandoned children, she had cheated on her ex-husband, she had married a terrorist…what else was she hiding? Had she been a terrorist too? Was her name even Masami? Was there an ounce of truth to anything he knew about her? Or had it all been lies…lies on top of lies on top of lies…
Like too much sugar in tea.
"Your mother poured this just as we heard the car pulling up. She made it just the way you like it, disgusting." Said Dad as he slid Eiji's old Speed Racer teacup and saucer towards him. He didn't know if Dad was calling him childish or if he honestly didn't see him as a grown man…maybe not if he was still putting this much sugar and milk in the tea. Eiji hadn't liked it British style since he'd been a kid…honestly Masami made the best cup of tea he'd ever had in his life…
"It's great, Dad, absolutely perfect." Said Eiji as he choked a sip down.
"Don't thank me, melon head, thank your mother." Said Dad
"Tha-" said Eiji before a glare from Dad stopped him in his tracks.
"Don't you start shouting at your mother now, you know that her poor heart can't take it." Said Dad
"Sorry, I didn't mean anything by it." Said Eiji, seriously doubting that mom was having any actual heart problems.
"That's your problem, boy, you never mean it." Said Dad
"Fine, I'll bite. I guess this is about Masami." Said Eiji
"No, it's about the cat." Said Dad sarcastically. Eiji put his cup down with enough force to move the saucer.
"That cat died in 2002. If you want to talk about Masami then talk about her." said Eiji
"I don't want to talk about her, I want to talk about you. You and whatever you did wrong to let this one get away." Said Dad
"She didn't get away, she's at home. If anything she let me get away." Said Eiji
"That's enough cheek from you. You know what I mean. A man's wife doesn't just kick him out of the house, not without reason, and I can think of a few good ones right off the top of my head." Said Dad
"What, like the fact that I don't make much? That I've hit a wall in my career? That I maybe shouldn't have majored in English Literature? That maybe-" said Eiji
"So you do listen, that's nice to know, now you keep on listening. Whatever you did you take it back and then you go back to that woman. You beg her for forgiveness and pray to God that she grants it to you and when she does you leave an offering every day to whichever God saw fit to bless you." said Dad. Eiji took a deep breath. It was one thing for the old man to be disappointed in him but it was another to blame him for…for…it hadn't been his fault!
"Dad…no. It's not my fault. Not this time, this time I did everything right and…and it still wound up like this." Said Eiji. Things were different this time. He wasn't fresh out of high school this time. He wasn't full of more hormones than sense. He wasn't some eighteen year old idiot putting all his faith in a high school romance. He was older now, middle aged even though he didn't like to admit it, and he…he had met someone and taken the time to click with her…he'd built a life with her. He had actually taken the time to build the life he wanted with her, not the life he thought that he should have been living, and he…he had done everything right…
It was just too bad he'd picked the wrong woman.
"I did. I just…I just picked the wrong woman and…and now we're going our separate ways. I just need to stay here until I get on my feet, alright?" asked Eiji. Dad looked right through him, his eyes piercing holes through Eiji's body.
"And where have I heard that before? Picked the wrong…you sound like a kid, you know that? Nonsense like that might have flown when you were young and stupid and got married against my advice but this…you're nearly fifty years old. You don't pick the wrong person at your age…you don't make these mistakes at your age. I'm seventy nine. I'm done going to weddings, especially yours." Said Dad
"Well you won't have to worry about that because I'm never getting married again." Said Eiji. He didn't have to lie, not then, because it was the truth. There was no way he was ever taking a chance with a woman again.
"That's right, because you're not getting divorced. You're going to patch things up. You're not shaming this family with another divorce, do you hear me? Not while I'm breathing." Said Dad. Eiji, if he had been a braver or stupider man, would have said something like 'well that won't be for much longer' but, of course, he may have been plenty stupid but brave he was not. All he could do was look down into his teacup and try to disappear, like a scared little kid.
"It's…it's really not your decision…and you don't even know what happened so….so can I stay or not?" asked Eiji meekly. He could feel the anger radiating off of Dad. He closed his eyes, any moment he expected to be slapped across the face, but no slap came. Just the scrape of metal against linoleum.
"You know I'd never do that to my grandkids. No reason they should suffer just because their father is an idiot." Said Dad as he got up. Eiji kept his head down. He knew better than to say anything. To say that if anything they were suffering from their mother's mistakes. To say that Madoka didn't share a drop of blood with him. To say that it was Masami with her lies and infidelity that had poisoned their marriage…to say…
There was nothing to say.
So he said nothing. He just drank his tea. There was nothing he could say, nothing that wouldn't sound like the ravings of a madman, nothing that wouldn't get him kicked out or committed. He didn't even fully believe it himself…but he didn't really have to believe it, now did he? He just had to accept it. Masami was a stranger to him, their marriage was over, the kids were going to hate him, his parents probably already did, he was out of a job and homeless, and he had some kind of curse on him when it came to women.
After all, this was his second divorce….God, he sure knew how to pick them, didn't he?