Where Hugs Help

Anakin was, again, working up the courage to ask Obi-Wan something. Granted, asking his Master something wasn't as difficult as it had been in the beginning. On some level, he kept expecting Obi-Wan to ignore him, yell at him, dismiss him, because everyone had a private part of themselves that they didn't want to share. And previous owners had made it clear that you didn't question your owner.

But Anakin had watched Obi-Wan answer every single question that he ever asked. Maybe not right away, and maybe not to his satisfaction, but Obi-Wan always had an answer. And he kept answering until Anakin understood.

He'd gotten rather comfortable with asking many types of questions, such as help for crèche-work or explanations of how the Jedi lived. (Once he knew he could ask these questions, he'd pestered his Master relentlessly to absorb as much as he could. Much like he'd asked questions of Qui-Gon on their ride to Coruscant before things had gone bad at Naboo.) But the question that Anakin wanted to ask was something that he was almost certain would barge into private areas. Yet Anakin needed an answer, because it was about something that he needed but wasn't getting.

Obi-Wan was always clear on one thing. "Padawan, you grew up differently than other younglings here at the Temple. So if you ever need something that we don't normally have, please let me know. I'll do my best to provide it for you."

So Anakin took a deep breath.

Dinner had become something of a sharing time. Now that they actually had a little connection, it became a time for talking of their days, sharing frustrations, and finding solutions. It was also when Anakin felt most comfortable with asking some of his questions, as it was when he saw Obi-Wan most relaxed.

"Master?"

"Mnn?" the Master asked, still sipping his tea.

"Do Jedi not believe in hugs?"

There was a slight choking noise (it never ceased to amuse Anakin that he could make his Master choke...) before Obi-Wan took a deep breath and another sip of tea.

"Sorry?" he asked, his usual quiet probe for more information.

Anakin scowled. If Obi-Wan wanted clarification, why didn't he just ask? Reading into things was such a pain. Still, Anakin had asked, so he'd better explain.

"I can't tell if Jedi believe in hugs or not," he said, twirling some of his food on his fork. "I've seen a lot of Jedi hug each other in greeting and stuff, but I don't think I've ever seen any Jedi give a proper hug. I thought Jedi would always be hugging. My mother said hugging can save the galaxy, and that's what Jedi do, right?"

Obi-Wan's stubble quirked with a smile. "Anakin, could you explain how hugs can save the galaxy? I've not heard the philosophy before."

"Isn't it obvious?" Anakin replied, his eyebrows rising. "You can tell who's had hugs and who hasn't. My friends were good people. They were always hugged by their parents, their friends; you know? The bullies and mean kids didn't have enough hugs. You never saw them getting hugged." He shrugged. "You could even see it in the customers who came to Watto's shop. The good customers, sometimes you saw them with their kids and friends and stuff. There were always hugs. The mean customers were always alone."

Obi-Wan leaned back, a thoughtful look on his face. "Anakin, your mother is an incredibly wise woman. There are times where I wish that I'd met her."

And that warmed something deep in Anakin. And made him cold. Because he knew is mother was wonderful, and it was nice to have someone else acknowledge that. Especially his Master. But it was another reminder that his mother was still on Tatooine and a slave, and that hurt. He'd save his mother. Someday, when he was a Jedi Knight, he'd go back and set his mother free.

"In answer to your question, I don't think that Jedi believe or disbelieve in hugs. But I can only speak from my own experience. I'd imagine hugs are something that Jedi think about on a more individual basis than on an overall philosophical level."

Anakin nodded. That didn't quite make sense. How could Jedi not think of hugs?

"Let's have a seat." Anakin glanced down at their plates, and realized they'd finished. And if they were going to continue their conversation in common room, he grabbed a glace of muja juice while his Master brought his cup of tea.

They both sat on the couch, facing each other. Anakin tucked himself into his little corner, which was getting difficult with his increasing size, and Obi-Wan sat across from him.

"Hmmm, I suppose that hugs for me are... rather foreign."

"Foreign?" What was that supposed to mean?

Obi-Wan nodded. "My clan head was assigned to crèche duty after he'd lost an arm on a particularly bad mission. He was always gentle and kind, but hugging wasn't something he could do well, especially when there were always smaller younglings demanding his attention." His Master shrugged. "As for Master Qui-Gon, well his Master wasn't affectionate at all, and his apprentice before me..." Obi-Wan looked off to the side. "Well, it didn't go well. Master Qui-Gon doted on him, but was ultimately betrayed. When Qui-Gon finally accepted me as his Padawan-"

And what did Obi-Wan mean by "finally" being accepted?

"-he made sure not to repeat his mistakes."

Anakin blinked. Obi-Wan was done explaining, and it was now Anakin's turn to translate Obi-Wan speak into something understandable. So he sat back and turned his Master's words around in his mind, trying to see what Obi-Wan meant by hugs being "foreign".

"Wait a minute," Anakin gasped as things clicked in his head. "You mean you were never hugged? At all? Ever?"

His Master nodded.

"That's just... just... wrong!" he shouted, completely aghast. "How can Jedi be all compassionate and caring and giving if they don't even know how to hug? That is just so messed up!"

If his Master didn't know how to hug, it was no wonder Anakin didn't get hugged! His mother had always hugged him to show how much she loved him and he'd missed it since joining the Jedi. But if Jedi didn't get hugged and didn't know what it felt like! That was just wrong!

So Anakin, impulsive as always, dove forward and wrapped his Master Obi-Wan in the strongest hug he could give, the kind of hug he always gave his mother when she'd been worn down by their days in slavery, because Anakin cared about his Master. Obi-Wan was there for him. And though Obi-Wan didn't always get it right, he tried and Anakin could see that. Obi-Wan was patient and gentle and could get exasperated, but he had never treated Anakin cruelly. Obi-Wan was kind and kind people deserved hugs. And the fact that Obi-Wan had never really been hugged needed to be fixed.

Slowly, with great hesitation, Obi-Wan wrapped his arms awkwardly around his young Padawan, and Anakin warmed at it. He wasn't that good at sending things through the bond yet, but he opened up and let Obi-Wan feel what he was feeling at being hugged, the warmth, the care, the love. The feeling of safety.

Obi-Wan didn't return anything, no doubt because he didn't understand the power of hugs yet. But Anakin made a promise to himself. He would teach Obi-Wan what hugs meant.

And so he taught. Obi-Wan, after so many years without proper hugs, would never be completely comfortable with hugging Anakin in public. But in the private of their quarters, wherever they were on whatever missions they took. Obi-Wan learned how to give wonderful hugs. And Anakin was always giving any whenever he was certain that Obi-Wan needed one.

Author's Note: This is one of those subtle differences that we felt was necessary. Aside from the fact that BOTH Obi-Wan and Anakin need a hug rather desperately at various points through the universe, it's something that skirts around Jedi attachment issues without ever being openly addressed. Hugging someone could be a sign of attachment. Yet Jedi are allowed to have friends, and for some people, if you see a friend you haven't seen in a while, you're going to hug them.

The Obi-Wan we have for this drabble series understands that Anakin had time with his mother and as such, needs to be treated a little differently. This Obi-Wan is going to look at Anakin, wonder where the hell he got some of his ideas, question Anakin and try to see things from his point of view, and go from there. The idea that "hugs can save the world", ie: showing a little bit of kindness to people, is a very Jedi concept, and we rather picture that it's something that Qui-Gon at least would meditate on. Since Obi-Wan knows his master would probably meditate on it, he might as well. This leads to more understanding of Anakin.

Similarly, this lets Anakin see things about Obi-Wan that he might not get if he doesn't question things. And we both see Anakin as a VERY inquisitive child. With Anakin having a better understanding of his Master, it's easier for him to come to Obi-Wan with things that he might not otherwise.

This is such a subtle thing. It's about opening the lines of communication. But the repercussions for this for later in the story are going to be HUGE. ^_^