Where Darkness is Released

It was a year later. Anakin was scowling at his datapad chips horrendously, trying to determine why his teachers decided it was such a good idea to always give him (no one else, oh, no. They weren't the Chosen One...) so much extra work to do. Obi-Wan hadn't come back yet from his meeting with the High Council, which meant that Anakin was stuck by himself without any help whatsoever for all the work he had to do.

It had been a long year for the start of his apprenticeship. His Master still meditated too much, but Anakin was used to it. He didn't like it at all but he was used to it. Gradually, Obi-Wan had cut back some on his meditation, after learning that Anakin could barely read Basic. It had helped. Anakin had finally started to feel a connection with his Master. Obi-Wan was extremely patient in explaining things to him, and Anakin had no clue how his master could manage that. Anakin had always known he wasn't the best of students without something more concrete to hold and touch, as his mother had often told him, yet Obi-Wan had sat with him every night after dinner to go over his work and aide him.

But for all that there started to be a connection (at last!) it never went beyond that. When Anakin went to bed, his Master went to meditate. His Master was only just another teacher. As Anakin caught up to where he was supposed to be, Obi-Wan took over more and more of Anakin's learning (not that it was that much yet...), but he still stayed in his teacher mode.

Needless to say, this irritated Anakin. He wanted something more. He wanted his Master to love him. Was that so wrong? But yes, yes it was wrong. Jedi don't love. "There is no emotion, there is serenity." Which made no sense. At. All.

It was part of the reason that, when he had free time, he was often visiting with Chancellor Palpatine. Granted, just mustering up the courage to ask Obi-Wan if that was all right took over a week to do. When he'd finally, hesitantly, and quietly asked if it was okay to go see the Chancellor, his Master had surprised him.

With a small smile, Obi-Wan had said. "Of course! Anakin, if you have a free day, you may do whatever you wish. I see no problem with you wanting to visit the friends you made before you came here to the Temple. However..."

And Anakin was certain that Obi-Wan's "however"s were the equivalent of his mother's "but"s.

"...I'd recommend making an appointment first. The Chancellor is a politician, and as such he is very busy. If you make an appointment, I'm sure he'll be able to properly devote some of his time to you, rather than being distracted."

Like you always are, a frustrated part of him had thought. But he had put that aside. Obi-Wan was letting him see someone who actually seemed to care so he wasn't going to complain.

Palpatine was always generous. After the first few appointments, which Anakin was shocked he actually got ("I always have time for the hero that saved my home planet!"), the old Chancellor had insisted that Anakin could drop by whenever he wanted or needed to ("I don't mind a distraction from all the requests sent to me, even if it's only for a few minutes."). Anakin tried not to take advantage of that, after all, running the entire galaxy had to be a lot of work, but there were times when he was especially lonely that he'd drop by and was glad to be the center of attention from the kind old man.

Palpatine actually agreed with Anakin, that Obi-Wan should spend more time with him. And it was nice to know that Anakin's thoughts weren't just his own bizarre reasoning and that other people could see it to. Sometimes, when surrounded by all these Jedi who'd been raised by each other and the Force, Anakin sometimes couldn't help but think that his own thoughts and feelings were woefully out of place. Just different.

"Ah, Anakin."

The young padawan was brought back to the present.

"Master!" he smiled. "You're finally back!" You can explain all this junk better!

"Yes, I was rather afraid that the Council was trying to kidnap me for a while there," the Knight replied with that faint quirk at the lips.

Obi-Wan's bizarre sense of humor took some getting used to. But Anakin found he liked it on the rare occasions his Master decided to share.

There was a measuring look towards him now, and Anakin sat up and let out a breath, releasing his earlier frustration at all his work.

His Master gave a small, gentle smile.

"Anakin, would you join me for a moment?"

One look at his datachips, and Anakin was gratefully following Obi-Wan out to the balcony. They sat comfortably across from each other, and Anakin looked to Obi-Wan's face, wondering what they were going to do.

"I believe a year ago, I made you a promise. That I would show you why I needed to meditate so much, once you'd been able to do some of the first stages of meditation on your own."

Anakin's jaw dropped. He barely remembered that conversation, but Obi-Wan had not only remembered, he was keeping his word? Whoa.

... Wait... was his Master trying to trick him into meditation? Anakin hated meditation! It was so difficult!

"I'd like you to enter into some meditation, Padawan," Obi-Wan stated, once again in his teacher-mode. "Then, you'll feel me along the bond. I want to show you something."

... Well that was different. His Master never joined him in meditation.

"Okay," he replied, closing his eyes and letting the sounds of traffic lull him. The young Padawan didn't like how long it took him to enter meditation, and it was never the easiest thing to do... Mechanics were simple. Meditation was not. But he eventually was floating in the energy of the Force. It was a comforting feeling once he was connected to what bound the universe, but binding himself too it was always such a problem, Anakin often wondered what the point was.

Still, the Force was always a wonderful thing to feel. There was just so much... Anakin didn't have the words... Goodness was the closest he'd ever come and that wasn't quite right either.

There was a gentle nudge, and Anakin became aware of another presence, connected to his own.

Master?

Yes, Anakin. Take a moment to just feel. You've never had me beside you like this before. Take your time. Get used to it.

Not that words were exchanged so clearly. Just the general feeling.

So Anakin took a moment to just feel his Master. And he was a little surprised. Obi-Wan was a warm feeling in the Force. Protective, righteous. Muddled. Why was Obi-Wan muddled?

I'm blocking a few things from you, was the response. You'll see why in a moment. Now, I'm going to start guiding you into a much deeper meditation. Just let things flow. If anything gets uncomfortable, or you need a moment to adjust, I'll pause.

Anakin fought back a grumble. He was far to active a person to just "let things flow". It was part of why he had such difficulty entering into meditation in the first place.

A wave of warmth past through him that he swore sounded like his Master... Chuckling...

Sorry, Anakin, but I had the same difficulty as you, when I first started meditating.

He still huffed, but he was a little mollified by that. He let out another breath and felt Obi-Wan shifting the way the Force flowed. It sort of felt like sinking and Anakin's connection started to get stronger and strong with the Force.

It took his breath away. And suddenly, Anakin understood why meditation could be so cool: because the Force was beautiful. Not just that surface goodness he could clumsily reach, but the depth of it was awe-inspiring. There were so many... Anakin didn't know how to describe it... places to explore! And the feeling of the Force! Goodness had never been the right word, but now that didn't even compare to what this was.

Look Anakin.

And there was an almost-set of instructions flowing in him as he looked at not just the Force and its ebb and flow, but at pinpoints of light.

Light that he somehow recognized.

High above him was a blinding green light of Master Yoda, and beside the Grandmaster was the solid purple light of Master Windu. Anakin looked around, unbelievingly at all the Jedi in the temple and their light. Oranges, blues, reds, pinks, yellows, browns, golds, silvers, so many different shades of each! It was... amazing! And they weren't even aware of their colors! Or maybe they were and saw it all the time.

No Anakin, this is a very deep meditation, and many often seek a different purpose when they wish to go this deep. Master Qui-Gon showed me this once... I've become rather fond of it.

And that was the first time Anakin had ever heard Obi-Wan speak of Qui-Gon without sadness. Only just a hint of wistfulness.

Wait, what color was his Master?

Anakin turned and gasped. Master?

Obi-Wan was still light. He could see it clearly trying to shine. But his light was encased in a thin, thin, cracked shell of black. Of... Darkness.

This is why I meditate so much, my Padawan. This was much worse a year ago. And I do not wish this to corrupt you.

Anakin could only nod dumbly.

A small, tiny ball of Darkness siphoned off of his Master. My rage at my Master being killed right before my eyes as I was helpless to stop it. The ball slowly dissipated into the Force. Another ball was siphoned off of the Darkness that encased Obi-Wan. My fear of losing my Master. This too dissipated and was replaced again. My hatred of the Zabrak that killed my Master. It dissipated. Each ball that was released to the Force made the Darkness that encased Obi-Wan a little thinner, a little more cracked.

But why not get rid of this all at once? Or in larger batches? Anakin couldn't help but wonder.

Because to do so would hurt far too much.

Do you see now, Anakin? Why I've been meditating so much? I didn't want this Darkness that sticks and clings to me to stick and cling to you.

Anakin felt... felt.. wow... His Master did care about him.

And that felt very, very good.

Author's Note: Yeah, getting to understand-each-other type thing here. Plus, Obi-Wan did mention before that after fighting Maul that the Darkside had "found his scent". He was spending time in meditation (read: away from Anakin) because he was trying to wash it off, and here Anakin finally sees it. Ani probably still resents how lonely he's been, but he has understanding now, which is more than he had before. Subtlety. Everything is subtlety.

Notice: Well we've all had a nice happy Thanksgiving, but now we're looking at this little holiday called Christmas. Said holiday has a lot of shopping that is required. The two of us work during the week. So Saturdays (our fanfiction day) are now Christmas shopping days. We'll still be updating every other week, but it may not be Saturday afternoon (East Coast Time) But early Saturday morning, Sunday night, or somewhere in between. We apologize for the more random nature of the next couple of updates.

Next time: The first time Anakin left the Temple, it was completely by accident.