Where Family Means Everything
Anakin stood in the hanger of the Temple, where an air cab was stopping off. He had been waiting there all morning for his Master to return. Since Anakin was still considered too young to go out on missions (which he completely disagreed with - look at what he did at Naboo and he was only nine then) his Master was occasionally sent out on missions alone if no one else was available.
Anakin understood this, but he was never happy about it. Their small quarters seemed empty and lonely without Obi-Wan meditating or cajoling him or helping with his crèche-work. Thus, since his Master was due back this morning, Anakin was waiting. He was still poking at his work, but he was getting worried. It was getting closer to the lunch and none of the transports had produced his Master.
All Anakin could do was wait.
By afternoon, he'd given up doing any work and just watched the traffic for any transport that might be heading their way. Master Windu had spoken to him briefly, saying that the ship coming to Corusant had been delayed. Anakin had only nodded. Something was wrong.
It was well after the dinner hour when Anakin felt something. Something bad.
His eyes locked on an ambulance as it quietly landed in the hanger. He was on his feet and moving before he was even aware of it. There was no one else on the platform that he saw, but it seemed irrelevant because his attention was focused solely on the ambulance and what was, who was, inside. Anakin was about to burst inside when the back of the transport opened and a medic stepped out.
"Master?" Anakin called, trying to look past the Twi'lek medic.
"Ah, Anakin," came the calm, cultured response, and the Padawan finally pushed past the Twi'lek.
In the ambulance was his master on a hover-stretcher. His tunic was covered in blood and rips, burns almost artistically dotting the few clear spots on him. It was horrifying. He heard a strangled cry and realized it was his own voice as he climbed in - scrambled really - to see his master more closely.
"Master?" he cried out. "What happened?" The question wasn't nearly satisfactory, but it was all his brain could put together and push through his panic.
"It's nothing, Anakin," Obi-Wan said, a gentle smile touching his smeared face. He reached out, a little tentatively, to touch his shoulder. It wasn't a hug, but it would do. Anakin saw the crisp white of a bandage under the tunic and he saw a deep cut along his master's collarbone that was yet untreated.
"It's not 'nothing'!" he choked out. A second medic, vaguely human, stepped in to adjust the IVs that trailed down to his Master's other arm.
"I don't want to worry you, Padawan; I really am fine."
He stared at his master, his mind almost blank, before an extended string of curse words in both Basic and Huttese started flying out of his mouth, causing both medics to flush at the profanities as they continued to spew forth. "You're not fine!" he finally managed to put together. "And it's too late for me to not worry! Don't keep things from me!"
"Padawan, could you step out so we can-" started the Twi'lek medic.
Anakin turned intense eyes to the Twi'lek. "What's wrong with him?" he demanded.
"Anakin," Obi-Wan said in a tone that brooked no refusal. "Let them do their work."
"But-"
"Let me get inside before you start firing questions," Obi-Wan said, raising a hand to quiet his apprentice. Then he turned to the human medic. "Really, a stretcher? I can walk you know."
"Begging your pardon, Master Jedi, but you can't, and it's procedure. Where's your Temple team?"
"Here now," the Twi'lek said, tugging at the stretcher to pull Obi-Wan out of the ambulance. Anakin turned, seeing a Mon Calamari rush up with a kit in hand. He had time to hear his master whisper, "Oh, dear," before Bant gasped and stepped forward.
"Obi-Wan Kenobi! What kind of trouble did you get into now?"
Anakin turned to his Master and matched Bant's glare with one of his own.
The Jedi Knight let out a long sigh. "Might we discuss this once I've been checked out?"
Anakin nodded. "Fine!" And he sat by Obi-Wan's side on the stretcher. "But you're not ditching me that easily!"
Obi-Wan let out a sigh while Bant hid a covert smile. "Walk with us, Anakin," she said gently. He felt her use the Force to lift the stretcher and Obi-Wan let out a severely put-upon sigh.
"I can walk," he muttered.
"Obi-Wan, your Master and your Padawan drag you into trouble all the time. The one mission you get alone and you still manage to find trouble to land you in my care. No, you're not walking." Anakin bit back a chuckle that the medics let out.
It was with much grumbling that Bant and the two medics brought Obi-Wan to the Healer's Ward. Anakin didn't leave his Master's side. On the way he was able to piece together some of what had happened from the questions Bant was asking that both Obi-Wan and the medics answered. The mission itself went very smoothly. Just coming back to the Temple, however, had proved to be difficult. The transport had been attacked by Togorian pirates when they dropped out of hyperspace. Things got interesting when the pirates realized Jedi were onboard and decided to get vicious.
After the pitched battle, their ship had limped into Coruscant orbit before crashing at the spaceport and Obi-Wan - already injured - did the stupidly heroic thing and tried to help rescue the passengers. This included running into the burning ship - twice - when the Force told him more people were inside.
It was at that point Anakin threw decorum out the window and hit his Master on the head. "Master, are you stupid? Think about what you put us through!" Think about what he put him through: the panic, the horror of thinking his beloved master (and did he really just call him beloved?) had been hurt with his Padawan nowhere around to protect him? What was wrong with him?
"Anakin," Obi-Wan said, holding a hand to his temple, "I deeply appreciate your concern, but it would be nice if you didn't shout quite so loud..."
Anakin froze, unaware that he had been broadcasting through their training bond. He had never done it subconsciously before; he'd always had to work to use the link.
"It's because you are getting better, Padawan," Obi-Wan said with a smile, again reading his thoughts. He turned to Bant. "Can't I at least-"
"No," Bant said, and made her point by poking at his hip, causing the Jedi to hiss in pain. "Like I said, you can't walk." She turned to Anakin, her large eyes fixing on him. "Padawan," she said, "I'm going to give him an examination. We both know how private he is on these kinds of things; he can't do anything about me, but I suppose we'll have to give him some measure of comfort and have you wait outside. I'm sure you can spare him that particular embarrassment."
Obi-Wan started to say, "Can you please not talk as if I'm not-" but Anakin had already followed Bant's train of thinking and was adding a few points of his own. "Oh yes," he said in a great theatrical voice, "We wouldn't want the great Obi-Wan Kenobi, the mighty Sith Slayer himself, to feel the least bit of discomfort - especially considering all the discomfort he puts me through on a daily basis. I mean, wow, the lectures in public, the corrections, the putdowns; he does everything in his power to cause me embarrassment or discomfort it's only natural that we should spare him that kind of payback."
Obi-Wan's sour face was ruined because his complexion was turning bright red. Both Bant and Anakin laughed at his dour attitude; and Anakin gave a great put-upon sigh. "I guess I'll just have to go," he said, tugging theatrically at his heart before turning and stepping outside. When the door closed for Bant to get to work, however, the preteen sighed all the way down; his back bumped against the wall and he slid easily down to the floor, pulling his knees up to his chin and wrapping his hands around his ankles.
Closing his eyes, he took a slow, deep breath and tried to sink into a light meditation. Of his myriad of classes, meditation was perhaps one of the hardest. He knew how to meditate, it just sometimes took an infuriatingly long time. Clearing one's head was not the easiest thing to do, and his head was always so full and loud it took a lot of effort to kick everything out and silence his mind enough to feel the things around him, to feel the Force. Deep meditation was even harder, and he often needed Obi-Wan's help in order to tug him down enough. His mind at the moment was full of the images of Obi-Wan in the ambulance, soiled with blood and burns and cuts, and the thought of how much more serious it could have been, of what might have happened.
Finally relaxing, Anakin tried to examine his feelings (as Obi-Wan was constantly telling him to do). He had never felt so strongly; he'd almost panicked when he realized how hurt his master had been. There were so many emotions swirling around him, even through his bravado just now with Bant, and he tried to pick them apart and sort them. Anakin found himself suddenly thinking of his mother, and of the dream he sometimes had where she was smiling at him before breaking like glass. ...What brought that thought up? He tried to follow the trail, wondering why the idea of seeing his master so injured had conjured the image of his dream.
Obi-Wan was just another Master, after all, just another guy in charge of him, like Watto, right? Only, he didn't own Anakin, and he never exerted abuse or the threat of it over him (promises of extra meditation aside). He was more of a teacher, ever since he showed Anakin how to better learn written language he always answered any questions Anakin had - even if his answer wasn't always satisfactory. He was firm, strict in the worst sense, but he was always pushing Anakin further, always expecting him to be better. His high standards always kept him a cut above the other students; he was skilled to the point of being bored in his classes, always entering into debate just to see if he could squeeze something out of it.
That's right, just a teacher...
Only, he remembered the surge of emotion he felt when on Naboo, when Padme had run off out of the hangar and straight into danger and him unable to help, and watching Qui-Gon (and Obi-Wan) furiously battle off a Sith - the helplessness, the desire to help and doing something, so he could protect the people he cared about.
... People he cared about?
He certainly cared about Padme - he was going to marry her (... at least, if it made her happy he wanted to. He was still thinking about that). He thought about her every day and dared to think that he loved her. He cared for Qui-Gon too, he was the promise of a better life, the man who - like his mother - understood that he was special long before Obi-Wan ever did. Qui-Gon always believed in him, and Padme always paid attention to him (Him! A little slave boy!).
Obi-Wan... he did both. Once the two of them were comfortable with each other, Obi-Wan had done both of those things. The Jedi had finally realized his potential just before Qui-Gon's funeral, when the child explained exactly what he had done in his Naboo spaceship and answered every single question Obi-Wan had to offer. Since then, Anakin had heard that his Master had fought to teach Anakin, even though the troll Yoda refused to condone it. There were days when he overheard his Master talking to other masters or teachers, scolding him on what a poor job he was doing given his Padawan's proclivity towards trouble, or his arrogant attitude, or some other jibe at Anakin's character. He always answered the same:
"I wouldn't be teaching him if I didn't see how great a Jedi he is going to be."
It warmed him every time his Master said that.
His attention was constant and unyielding - whether Anakin wanted it or not - and he was a constant presence in everything Anakin did. Even when they were separate, like for the last several days because of the mission, the apprentice could always hear Obi-Wan's voice in his head, little mental reminders or tricks to do a lesson or ways to do meditation. It sort of reminded him of his mother's words of wisdom or rules that also ran through his head.
And that was when he realized it.
He... Obi-Wan... he was like his mother.
Anakin's eyes would have snapped open was he not so absorbed with the magnitude of his thoughts.
Anakin's feelings for Obi-Wan were like his feelings for his mother. Seeing Obi-Wan injured as he was reminded him of the dream he had, reminded him of his departure from Tatooine and the pain it caused him to leave his mother. The what ifs, the thought of loosing Obi-Wan, it... it... It petrified him. He couldn't fathom it. It was the same fear that gripped him when he thought about his mother, about not being near her in order to protect her.
Anakin already had a mother. But he was shocked to realize that he also had a father.
But that didn't quite fit right. Because if anyone had asked him, even that very morning, who he considered a father in his life, Anakin wouldn't hesitate to say Qui-Gon Jinn. Qui-Gon had seen him and believed in him. He'd smiled at Anakin, held him, and seemed proud of him through the very brief lessons he'd given on their trip to Coruscant. Anakin's time with the Jedi Master was brief, but he very much considered Qui-Gon his "father" from that moment on. In a weird-Jedi-way that made Obi-Wan his brother.
That made sense... sort of. They could certainly argue like he imagined siblings might, because if Anakin considered Qui-Gon like a father, and Obi-Wan did too (as was clearly evidenced by how long his Master had mourned and grieved), that made them siblings. But Qui-Gon had died. So Obi-Wan had become a brother-turned-father.
Which was just as confusing...
Anakin stopped. Was there a point in debating with himself on just what Obi-Wan was to him beyond the fact that, somewhere along the years they'd been together, Anakin had started to consider Obi-Wan as not just another teacher. But as family. Obi-Wan was his family. Like his mother was. Like Padme hopefully would be.
Obi-Wan was family...
It was a lot to wrap his head around. Anakin jerked out of meditation, unable to hold it as the realization started to wrap itself firmly around his mind and try to take root.
It was a good thing he came out of meditation, because a moment later, Bant came out, frowning. Upon seeing him, however, she smiled.
"Ah, Padawan, why don't you come in."
Anakin nodded quickly, wanting to see Obi-Wan, both with this new light and also to make sure that his master really was alright.
Obi-Wan appeared to be asleep, his body deformed by bulging bandages around many areas of his body. A bandage was wrapped around his head, and a stray bacta patch was on his cheek, somehow sticking over his beard.
"Master?" he asked quietly, sitting on the bed and taking Obi-Wan's hand. "Master?"
Bant placed a webbed hand on his shoulder. "He's been sedated, he's just too stubborn for his own good sometimes."
Anakin nodded, knowing Obi-Wan's stubbornness all too well. "Is he going to be okay?"
"He'll be just fine," she replied gently.
"Is he in a healing trance?" Anakin had learned that Jedi could heal very fast, but he hadn't learned how yet and he'd never seen a Jedi slip into one.
"No," Bant answered, sitting down in a chair by the bed. "If he were to go into a trance, he'd be under for over a week given all the injuries he managed to sustain." She gave a small grin. "When I suggested he slip into a trance, he adamantly refused, saying you'd been left alone long enough."
Anakin gave a soft chuckle.
"He will be in the bacta tank tomorrow for the burns and open wounds. From there, he can do small trances at night for his bones if he wants, but it will be a longer process. He has three cracked ribs and one of his ulnas is broken in three pieces. To say nothing of the crack on his skull."
He only gave a small nod. "But we can fix that at our quarters, right?"
Bant ran a hand through his hair. "I'll keep him another day after the bacta tank, just to make sure things get started right. Knowing Obi-Wan he'll politely complain and whine about it, and demurely try and wriggle out of it. But yes, you can take him home after that. Then you'll have the joyous task of looking over him instead of the other way around."
Anakin nodded, the enormity of everything weighing heavy on him. His master (family!) was going to be okay, but he'd need help. He wouldn't be the strong one; Anakin would have to be. Anakin couldn't be lazy; he'd have to do the work.
And that was fine. A lot to realize. But that was fine.
Because Obi-Wan would be fine...
The next morning, Anakin wandered blearily into Obi-Wan's small room in the Halls of Healing. He despised early morning hours, but he's set his alarm deliberately. He knew that Obi-Wan was going to be in the bacta tank all day and any chance of actually talking to his master would be gone once he was dunked. So the alarm had been set and Anakin brought a pot of tea that his master liked, surprised that he hadn't tumbled and shattered everything yet.
He probably didn't have to. Chances were that the kitchen staff had already sent up some tea and his master was already meditating or something. But Anakin wanted to be the one to do this. Obi-Wan had a routine in the morning. Tea and meditation. Breakfast with him and then duties. And if the routine was already broken because he wasn't back in their apartment, then Anakin would try to make it as normal as possible in the Halls.
Given the horrid hour of the morning, nobody had been up to scold him for doing this. (Because really, everyone scolded him for everything... Except Obi-Wan...) The receptionist of the Halls of Healing blinked at him and merely smiled. That was fine for Anakin.
When he entered Obi-Wan's room, Anakin set down the tray and poured. His master was still asleep, but the smell of the tea seemed to rouse him.
Blinking, Obi-Wan reached up to rub his eyes, before grunting, realizing that he really wasn't feeling well.
"Good morning, Master," Anakin said cheerfully. (Or at least, as cheerful as he could at this awful hour...) "Your tea's ready."
Obi-Wan blinked again, his senses slowly coming online. He looked at the tea, looked at his barely-awake Padawan, and looked to his tea again. Anakin shifted nervously. He didn't like to admit it, but this sort of behavior was unusual for him. He usually wasn't as... considerate. Because there was always something going on for him! It wasn't his fault someone was always yelling at him or giving him a displeased frown! He had his own problems! But... Obi-Wan needed him. Just like his mother would need him if she was sick. And he did these things for his mother. Why not do so for another member of his family?
There was silence for a moment and Anakin still felt anxious. Was this really so strange for him? Maybe he shouldn't have done anything...
But then, Obi-Wan waved a finger and the bed adjusted itself to a seated position, and he opened his arms in clear invitation.
Anakin didn't need anything else. He didn't dive forward, that would have hurt Obi-Wan, but he immediately hopped onto the bed and wrapped himself as gently and firmly around his master as he could. Obi-Wan hugged him close, his free arm that wasn't busted running a hand through his hair.
They just held each other for a while.
Obi-Wan mumbled into his hair, "Would you like to join me in meditation?"
Anakin nodded. "The color one?" So that he could see his master and how he was doing and be with him and make sure he was alright.
"That sounds good."
Anakin reached for the gentle flow of the Force and let Obi-Wan pull him deeper in. The Padawan was amazed at how quickly he was able to follow his master down to that level. Sense of time was always skewed when meditating, but Anakin felt as though he'd gone unusually fast and wondered how he had managed to improve.
The training bond seems to have grown stronger, Obi-Wan's presence seemed to say. I could feel much emotion in you yesterday, turmoil and shock and... something else. I had hoped that I wouldn't frighten you that much.
Anakin frowned, sending out his question: Do you know what that 'something else' was?
No, was Obi-Wan's feeling, I was being sedated at the time.
Anakin suddenly found himself in fierce debate on whether to mention his little revelation with his master. To tell the man that he was family would no doubt have a positive effect on their relationship, Anakin already felt closer to Obi-Wan than he'd ever had before when just thinking of the Jedi as another Master; he could only imagine what such a tidbit of information would do for Obi-Wan. As soon as he thought that, however, he realized that he was talking about a Jedi; Jedi who were raised to believe that attachment was wrong, Jedi who frowned upon close relationships; Jedi who battered into his head every day that one must think of the greater good - and how would the greater good be affected when they realized that Anakin had an attachment to Obi-Wan, or that he hoped to everything in the Force that the opposite was true?
You're feeling conflicted. Why?
Anakin almost didn't answer, but finally, he sent out a piece of his feelings: I realized something yesterday. I'm not sure if I should share it with you.
He waited tensely for Obi-Wan's response, trying to let all the beautiful colors around him distract his sudden anxiety.
Finally,
I don't ever want you to feel uncomfortable in telling me something, Anakin. If you are uncertain, then I will wait until you are.
It was a measure of faith that Anakin had come to expect from his master: making the Padawan make his own decisions and simply waiting. The preteen didn't realize until at that moment just how much trust it must take Obi-Wan to grant that faith every single time. It made the decision on whether or not to tell him about his revelation even more important, because he did not want to violate that trust, and he did not want to hurt Obi-Wan with his feelings either.
He would seek council, someone who wasn't affiliated with the Jedi and could give an objective opinion.
He would go to Palpatine. That would help.
With that decided, he sent his confidence over to Obi-Wan, feeling his master smile with the assurance, and enjoyed the mediation. His day was going to be busy if he was going to be ready to look after his master while he recovered.
Author's Note: This fic is a first. Normally when the two of us are writing a story, we'll pass off the keyboard from scene to scene. This drabble, however, was very much almost paragraph-by-paragraph trading. It was done on a loooong road trip with family, the two of us in the back seat just passing a pad back and forth before the eyestrain of reading/writing in a moving vehicle got too bad. It does feel a bit jumbled here and there, but has a basically good flow. Also, pay attention to the fact that Anakin realizing that Obi-Wan is part of his family strengthens the bond. Their bond and how it grows will be very important later on; this is just a precursor to it. And, of course, a reminder that Palpatine is next-door and whispering in Anakin's ear. Damn it.
Next week (yes, you read that right): Obi-Wan and Anakin's first mission together. Part 1.