Chapter 11
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Castle leaned against the bar, signalling the bartender to get him another drink.
"RICHARD CASTLE!"
He winced as he saw the dark-haired source of perpetual noise heading his way. "Hello Paula," he said, "And how are you this lovely Saturday evening?
"Do not 'hello Paula' me, Rick," she replied, one hand on her hip while the other was tapping against the wood-grain of the bar. "What are you doing standing all the way over here? Do I need to remind you that this is the premiere party for the movie based on your book?"
"I've already made nice with all of the people you told me too," Castle said, tone just short of a whine.
"I don't know what's been going on with you lately," said Paula, shaking her head, "Didn't you use to love parties like this? All of the single women just waiting for you to ask them for their number?"
Castle shrugged. "I just don't feel like mingling tonight."
"It seems to me that you haven't felt like mingling for some time now," said Paula. "Does this have anything to do with that detec—"
Castle raised a finger to cut Paula off when his phone rang. He frowned when he saw that the call was coming from Kate's landline. "Hello?" he answered.
"Is this Richard Castle?"
Castle paused, rechecked the caller ID, and then answered, "Yes. Who's this?"
"Oh, thank god. I'm Claudia McGill, Zoey's babysitter. I'm so sorry for calling you but Zoey's really sick and I couldn't reach Detective Beckett on any of the numbers she gave me and I know that Zoey's been getting better from having strep throat but I gave her the antibiotics and they didn't do anything and then she started having trouble breathing so I decided to call an ambulance but they're not here yet and you were on the list of numbers on the fridge so I…"
"Whoa, whoa," said Castle, cutting off Claudia's rapid speech. "Slow down. Where's Zoey now?"
"She's lying down on the couch beside me."
"Has she been coughing?"
"Yes! She started coughing really badly, like, an hour after I put her to bed and then her breathing started sounding funny."
"Okay," Castle was already making his way quickly out of the noisy venue, "I'm on my way over. I'm only a couple of blocks away so I'll probably be there before the ambulance arrives but Claudia?"
"Yeah?"
"Try to keep Zoey calm, okay? If she's crying, it'll only make it worse."
Castle hung up then and looked down the street for a cab.
"Rick! What is going on?"
Somehow in his rush, he hadn't noticed that Paula had followed him out to the sidewalk. "I'm sorry, Paula," Castle said hurriedly, "But I have to go. That was Zoey's babysitter – you remember? Beckett's –"
"—daughter. Yeah, Rick, as if I could forget."
"Well, she's really sick and the babysitter doesn't know what to do. I have to get over there." A cab pulled up in front of him and he climbed in.
"Rick, I'm not an idiot. I see what's going on here with this Detective."
"Paula, whatever you think it is, it's not. Now, I really have to go so you can save your yelling for tomorrow." Castle slammed the door shut and gave the driver Kate's address.
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When the door opened, Castle was greeted with a panicked teenager.
"Oh my god, Mr. Castle, your clothes… you were out, weren't you? I should've known! I am so, so, so sorry for ruining your evening, it's just that I—"
"Claudia." He put a reassuring hand on her shoulder to stop her rambling. "I'm glad you called. That was the right thing to do, okay?"
The young girl nodded, though she was still visibly shaking.
Castle walked over to the couch where Zoey was lying down, her skin pale and her eyes wide with anxiety and tears. She didn't even have the energy or motivation to greet Castle.
"Hey baby girl," Castle said, picking her up carefully. He smoothed back some of her matted hair and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "It's okay, honey," he said reassuringly, "You'll be okay." Castle cuddled her tiny body close to his – she felt like a furnace. "Did you give her something for the fever?" he asked Claudia.
"Tylenol. An hour ago."
They heard the telltale sirens of the ambulance downstairs. "Just stay until the paramedics have gotten all the information that they need from you, okay?" he said.
Claudia nodded.
Castle pulled out his wallet from his jacket pocket and took out several bills.
"That's too much," the girl said, shaking her head.
Castle smiled assuredly. "You did really well tonight, taking care of Zoey. I'm sure Detective Beckett would have said the same thing."
Castle rode with Zoey in the ambulance and at the hospital, the doctor diagnosed Zoey with the croup. Castle had already suspected as much, having gone through a similar episode when Alexis was a baby. Poor Zoey just had it even worse since she had a nasty case of strep throat on top of it. Castle soothingly got Zoey through the breathing treatment: a vaporized epinephrine that the doctor gave in order to open up her airway and kept her relaxed by reading stories when the doctor wanted Zoey to stay for monitoring.
Castle had been trying Kate's number throughout the night even though he found out that she was doing something undercover and wouldn't have access to her cellphone until much later. He left one message when they got to the hospital and then another when the doctor finally discharged Zoey a couple of hours later just so Kate would know that they had left.
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Zoey managed to sleep for several hours before a new fit of coughing made her sit up in bed, agitated and scared. Castle hadn't left her room since they had gotten back, choosing to sit in a chair beside her bed, trying to write, in order to make sure she was all right. Now, at Zoey's pained whimpers, Castle sat down beside her and tried rubbing her back to get her to relax. Still, when another bout of coughs took over, Zoey's eyes started to water.
"Oh, I know," Castle said, remembering how frightening all of this could be to a small child. "I know how yucky it feels when you're really sick."
But, Zoey was already feeling too panicky for his words to have any effect and Castle picked her up when she started crying and wheezing in vain. He remembered what the doctor had told him about humidity being helpful in clearing up a child's breathing passages and made his way to the bathroom.
"I'm going to turn the lights on, Zo," he said, "Close your eyes, okay?" Zoey turned to bury her face into Castle's neck as he flicked the switch. He had to blink a couple of times himself to adjust to the sudden brightness before he managed to close the door behind them. Castle held her tight as he bent over to turn on the hot shower and then settled himself carefully on the edge of the tub with Zoey in his lap.
"Where's mommy?" she managed to ask between coughs, shuddering afterwards at the effort.
"She'll be home soon, Zo," he answered, letting her lean against him. "But in the meantime, we're going to sit in here until this nice steam makes you feel better, okay?"
Zoey didn't answer but her crying subsided, as did the duration of her coughing attacks. He dropped his head to press against hers. "Do you want me to sing you a song?" he asked.
At her almost imperceptible nod, he started to sing 'What a Wonderful World', humming along when he forgot the lyrics.
Her raspy breaths diminished as the steam filled the room around them and he rocked them slowly back and forth until the tears on her cheeks dried.
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That was where Kate found them when she got home. The sliver of light coming through the door must have alerted her and she entered the bathroom quietly, shutting the door behind her so that none of the hot air would escape. Castle had made his way onto the tiled floor a while ago so that he could lean against the wall and when she sat down beside them, Castle could see how frantic her eyes looked.
Zoey had finally managed to doze off, cradled in Castle's arms and Kate spent a good thirty seconds just staring at her. Finally, she leaned down to put her forehead gently against Zoey's and traced the lines of her tiny fingers with her own. Kate rested one of her hands on top of her daughter's stomach and squeezed her eyes shut. Castle's free arm wrapped around her body instinctively and he observed her minute pause before ultimately allowing herself to collapse into his side.
"Oh my god," she whispered.
"It's okay, Kate," he said softly, pressing a kiss into her hair, "It's okay now."
They sat until they were sure that Zoey had fallen deeply asleep before carrying her back into her room. Castle shut the door behind him after making sure Zoey's nightlight was on and joined Kate in the kitchen where she was filling a drinking glass with cold water and shaky hands.
"Kate…"
"Somebody has to teach Claudia how to leave a proper message. She was hysterical and incoherent."
"Well, she was pretty scared."
Kate's eyes widened. "She was scared? She was scared? She wasn't the one listening to a voicemail telling her that her daughter was sick and having trouble breathing only to jump to the next message and find that she's now being taken to the emergency room." Kate placed her glass down on the counter forcefully. "Do you know how fucking frightening that is to hear?"
"I do, actually," he replied calmly.
Kate started pacing back and forth in front of him. "And, to top it all off, we didn't even catch the guy tonight! I could have very well stayed here with my daughter for all the work we didn't accomplish! I should have stayed here with my daughter who was clearly not okay! I mean, what if something had happened to her?"
"But nothing did," Castle cut in, "She's okay now."
Kate started wringing her hands. "I can't – I don't –"
Castle grabbed her firmly by the shoulders and stopped her mid-step. "Kate," he said, stressing his words, "Zoey is fine."
Kate's eyes were brimming with tears when she finally decided to look up at him. "I was so scared, Castle," she said, "I don't think I've ever been that scared in my entire life. I've had to look down the barrel of a gun before and even that doesn't compare to the terror I felt when I heard those messages."
"Welcome to the life of a parent," he said, giving her a consolatory smile.
"Was she scared?"
"I sang her a couple of rounds of 'Happy Days Are Here Again' and she was right as rain."
Kate sighed. "Castle…"
He softened. "She was as scared as any kid is when they're sick."
"I should've been here. The first time my little girl is sick and I wasn't here to comfort her."
Castle decided at the moment to pull her into a hug instead of giving her an answer that would do nothing to convince her of how she wasn't to blame. And just like before, she stiffened briefly before finally letting go and melting into his embrace.
"Thank you, Castle," she said, pulling away to look at him but leaving her arms wrapped around his shoulder. "I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been here taking care of her."
"You don't have to thank me, Kate," he said, sweeping his fingers lightly up and down her back. "You don't ever have to thank me."
It was a moment that would have passed if he hadn't decided to nudge her closer with his hands or if she hadn't decided to flick her gaze away from his eyes and down to his lips. Neither one of them would be able to say who had initiated it first but the space-time continuum didn't stop when their lips met and it wasn't at all this surprising or magical or electric thing. In fact, it was a simple and organic chemical inevitability that felt just as natural as it did elementally right.
How much they wanted each other was evidenced by the intensity of those first few minutes. With the amount of time they spent bantering with each other, it wouldn't have surprised either of them if their tongues insisted on duelling for dominance but that never happened. Instead, it was a dance. Sometimes he led by circling his tongue gently with hers and sometimes she led by exploring passionately and deepening their kiss until they were breathing heavily against each other's lips. He elicited a soft moan when he sucked on her lower lip and his smile only caused her to playfully nibble on his until he was back to running his tongue over her lips and tasting her.
The way they kissed was a lot like how they communicated with each other on a daily basis. It was a perfect description of their relationship, the way they alternated between kissing each other softly and teasing each other by doing something unexpected.
The whole thing certainly didn't start off chaste but it ended up that way. Eventually, they slowed down until he was barely brushing his lips against hers and her arms fell loose against his shoulders.
It didn't feel like it was the first time they had done this and it had gone on way too long for feigned impulsiveness.
Separating their bodies meant acknowledging both of these facts.
So, they lingered.
They lingered until their thoughts took over their sensations and they had no choice but to pull back, eyes blinking open slowly and arms retreating from the other's embrace.
Their eyes held steady and unblinking: pellucid blue meeting diaphanous green.
Finally:
"You should go," she said quietly.
"Yes," he nodded, "I should."
A/N: When I started this story, this scenario was what I had in my mind and what got me to want to write everything else… I think it sounded so awesome in my head that now that it's written, I don't know if it lives up to my ideal… Anyway… oh! By the way, did anybody catch the reference to a certain book series that I used to devour in my preteen years? Ten virtual cookies to those who do!
P.S.: BOOYAH! I hope you guys didn't see that kiss coming – I mean I didn't really want for you to see that it was going to happen until it did even though this whole story is obviously leading up to moments like this but yeah, now I'm rambling. Tell me what you think! Especially at this juncture!