Where Joy is Shared
Obi-Wan relished his cup of tea. It was just what he needed. Another satisfying sip and he hobbled over to his chair in the common room of his apartment. Hobbled. He allowed himself a moment of irritation and released it to the Force. It had been one week since Geonosis. One week since a galaxy-wide war had started. One week since Count Dooku, now Darth Tyranus, had cut of Anakin's arm.
It was why the tea was so necessary. It was a brief respite of peace in what was likely to become a very trying time. So Obi-Wan took what he could. A good cup of tea to warm both hands and the knowledge that his Padawan was due back from escorting Senator Amidala home. A quiet dinner perhaps, then meditation and mourn the loss of so many Jedi. The next day would be more physical therapy for the both of them. Obi-Wan hoped to be cleared of using a cane so that he could get his leg and arm back into shape.
It would not take long, a week at most, since he hadn't been inactive for an extended period of time. It was Anakin that worried him. For though his Padawan had an uncanny instinct for mechanics, Anakin still struggled with his prosthetic arm. That was what Obi-Wan wanted to focus on. Who knew when they'd be called into battle? He wanted his Padawan prepared so that he wouldn't be so injured again.
Obi-Wan let out a sigh and brought his bad leg up to the cushion Anakin had placed on their low table. He may dislike needing a Healer's care, and he'd push himself more than they would like, but Obi-Wan knew to heed their advice. So he rested when he'd rather work. But while his leg was taking longer to heal, Obi-Wan felt his arm was doing much better. Reaching through the Force he plucked some weights out of a closet and set about rebuilding some of the strength he'd lost from his arm.
After a few repetitions, Obi-Wan paused as he felt a bubbling surge of joy pulse through him, bringing a large smile to his face. He blinked, for that wasn't his joy that he was feeling, but Anakin's. Clearly his Padawan had returned to the Temple. The question was what had his Padawan walking on air?
Obi-Wan could feel Anakin approaching, every aspect of his signature glowing brightly and radiating happiness. As much as Obi-Wan was glad that Anakin had found something good, he did hope that his Padawan wasn't broadcasting so that every Jedi in the Temple could feel it.
Another sip of tea after he put his weights down and Obi-Wan turned to the door as Anakin entered. His Padawan looked every bit like the calm Jedi he was supposed to and Obi-Wan couldn't see any of the unbridled glee he was feeling along the bond. Good. Obi-Wan didn't want any Knight or Master to scold his Padawan on feeling so happy.
"Welcome home," he greeted, shifting to stand.
Now that Anakin was back in their quarters, his calm façade disappeared in an instant as a massive smile split his face, his eyes lit up and he practically pranced over to Obi-Wan and hugged him to the point of lifting him. Anakin couldn't even form words as he started laughing and giggling in joy and happiness and glee. It was infectious and Obi-Wan couldn't help the light laugh that escaped him as he awkwardly hugged his Padawan back.
"Anakin!" Obi-Wan chuckled. "Put me down!"
"Of course, Master," Anakin laughed, finally forming coherent words through his joy. Obi-Wan was gently released from the fierce hug.
"Padawan, what's gotten into you?" Obi-Wan asked around another laugh while Anakin just about floated to their kitchen.
"We're celebrating, Master Obi-Wan. We are celebrating."
Obi-Wan couldn't help but chuckle at Anakin's enthusiasm as the young man pulled out plates and utensils and a takeout container from Dex's, no doubt gotten on the way here.
"And what, my joyous Padawan, is the occasion?"
Anakin turned, all smiles and happiness. "She asked me to marry her! I said yes! We're married, Obi-Wan. We're married!"
Obi-Wan felt his jaw drop as his Padawan's news washed over him.
...
... ...
Anakin would be the death of him. Death by mortification. Round three. As if explaining the caution a Jedi needed with love wasn't bad enough, and giving Anakin "The Talk" a week later wasn't enough, now his Padawan dropped the bombshell that he was actually married. Qui-Gon must be laughing at him.
Obi-Wan sat heavily into his chair at the table in shock. Anakin's joy was still trying to be infectious, but couldn't quite pierce the numbness. Obi-Wan would need to handle this very carefully. Thankfully, after ten years with him, he had a basic procedure for approach.
Step One: Don't rain on the parade.
"Congratulations, Anakin," he said quietly. A small gesture and his tea floated to him from the common room. "The two of you did work well together on Geonosis."
Anakin's smile somehow brightened even further. "Thank you, Master!" he said cheerfully, cutting thick slices of the cake pastry.
Step Two: Get all possible information.
"... So, did it work like those holomovies? Down on one knee and all that?"
"Not at all!" Anakin continued to glow and happily shared the story. Anakin's tale began, not with the transport back to Naboo, but with the time he and the Senator had spent in the Lake Country of Naboo. Apparently, the two (Padme) had decided not to pursue a relationship as it would be far too complicated, being Jedi and Senator. ("I was actually happy with that, Master. She wasn't throwing me out of her life. I made her happy and that made me happy. Ours just isn't an easy situation.") Anakin had mourned the loss of his chance to marry Padme, but by still being her friend, he was all right. Then came the death of Anakin's mother and the horrible battle on Geonosis. And apparently, somewhere during that battle, Padme had admitted her love for him. ("She loves me, Master. I didn't think after that conversation in Lake Country it was possible. But she loves me. And I love her!")
Obi-Wan decided Anakin wasn't the only one who needed a lecture on recklessness. By then, he'd known that the young Senator had loved his Padawan when she had tried to bring down the Halls of Healing to find out if Anakin was alright after their battle with Dooku. He had been the only one who could calm her and get her turbulent feelings away from sensitive patients.
Anakin continued his story with his escorting her back to Lake Country. Apparently, during the ride, Padme had done a lot of talking about how she had never allowed herself anything, denied herself everything so that she could serve her people. How, after meeting and spending time with Obi-Wan's passionate, reckless Padawan, she thought that maybe, just maybe, she could allow herself just one thing. So Padme had proposed. ("She chose me, Master. I can't believe it! If she wanted something for herself, she could have chosen anything. Anyone. But she chose me." And there was no denying the awe in Anakin's voice.) Anakin had pelted her with questions, making sure that this was what she wanted, that he hadn't pressured her in anyway, that this would make her happy, before he joyously said yes.
Well, Obi-Wan thought to himself, at least he remembered some of what I've told him.
Once on Naboo and in Lake Country, they'd had a quiet little ceremony with Threepio and Artoo as witnesses, even if they had used false names. ("You should have seen her in her wedding dress. She was so beautiful.") Of course, Anakin had trailed off after that, blushing furiously and with a goofy grin on his face. Obi-wan was grateful for this as he didn't particularly care to hear how the wedding night went.
Step Three: Be supportive.
Obi-Wan got up from his seat, limped over to his Padawan, and hugged him. Anakin was still a tiny sun of joy and happiness as he hugged his master back fiercely.
"She's happy, Master. I make her happy. Just the fact that I made her happy by marrying her... It makes me want to giggle like a fool."
Obi-Wan rubbed Anakin's back as his Padawan's joyous awe over what had happened continued to fill the room. Since Obi-Wan's tea had gone cold while Anakin told his story, he had his Padawan brew a fresh batch.
The two settled onto the couch in the common room with fresh drinks and Obi-Wan brought up his bad leg, laying the foot on his Padawan's lap since there was no other room for it. Anakin scowled, though the look was ruined by the sappy grin on his face.
Obi-Wan took a sip of his fresh cup of tea and let out a small happy sigh. Anakin's cooking skills were severely lacking but he did know how to make a good cup of tea.
Step Four: Break the ice of the problem. Gently.
"It's good to see you so happy, Anakin," Obi-Wan said with a grin. "I'd imagine any Jedi who saw you on your way here is probably wondering why they're smiling so much their cheeks hurt."
Anakin looked slightly abashed. "Sorry, Master. I didn't mean to project so much..."
Obi-Wan brushed it aside. "A little joy after the loss of so many Jedi is a good thing. If any Jedi figured out it was you who has everyone grinning like an idiot, they'd probably thank you."
His Padawan sobered at the mention of the loss, but gave a smaller, more contained grin at Obi-Wan's compliment.
"As much as I'm glad that you're glowing with joy," Obi-Wan continued, maintaining a lighthearted tone, "I do wish you and Senator Amidala had waited a bit, my compassionate, loving, so-very-reckless Padawan."
Anakin frowned, sensing the small criticism, despite Obi-Wan's light voice. "But Master, you said if it made her happy..."
"I have no doubt of your dedication to her happiness," He interrupted. "Make no mistake on that. You love her, and from what I've seen and heard from you, you will make her happiness one of your highest priorities."
Anakin grinned, then frowned. "Then I don't understand what you mean, Master."
"My concern, Anakin, is your happiness." Obi-Wan nudged him with his bad leg. "I am a worrier, Anakin. I see potential situations that I'm not sure you've thought of and while they may never happen, they could and I don't want you hurt because of them."
Anakin scowled, his face confused. "What situations, Master? As long as she's happy, that will be enough."
Obi-Wan let out along sigh, trying to order his thoughts. "You realize that we are currently in a war."
"Of course, Master."
"Of course. Tell me, if you die will Padme be happy?"
Anakin rolled his eyes. "I already talked about this with her. She understood. She knows that I'm a Jedi and can be killed on any mission. She was there on Geonosis." Anakin looked down at his cup of caf. "I think that's part of the reason she proposed. She understands how short life is."
Obi-Wan nodded, glad that his Padawan had at least thought about this somewhat.
"And if she were to die?"
"Don't say that, Master!"
"So she can be prepared for your death, but not you for hers?"
"She's a Senator, not a warrior..."
"Imagine one of these Separatists planting a bomb in the Senate building. It would disrupt our infrastructure, demoralize our supporters, weaken our forces..."
"Alright! Alright!" Anakin looked down. "I get it."
Obi-Wan sighed. He didn't want to hurt Anakin like this. Not at all. But this was better than having him blindsided, right? Make him think so he could be ready.
"Ana-"
"I have thought about that over the years," Anakin said quietly. "You said the death of a loved one can push a Jedi to the Dark Side. I love Padme. With every fiber of my being. And I know there was always a chance that she'd die before me. I can't say I'll ever be ready. Or prepared for that. I know I'd need a lot of time to put myself back together after she died, like you did with Qui-Gon. I know I won't handle her death well. But I have thought about it. I'll do the best that I can. I'll seek justice, not revenge, or I'll leave the task to someone else."
Obi-Wan didn't even try to hold back his pride in Anakin. His Padawan felt it over the bond and smiled at him.
But Obi-Wan wasn't done yet. "And if, over the years, despite all your best efforts, she falls in love with someone else?"
Anakin scowled. Again. "Focus on the here and now. She loves me, Master. She won't betray me like that."
"I doubt she would as well," Obi-Wan agreed. What Padme had for Anakin, it was just as strong and deep as what Anakin felt for her. Obi-Wan could see no way that either would betray the other. These weren't feelings that would fade with time, he could sense that clearly. It was amazing how those feelings had grown in her in such a short time. "But as much as the two of you love each other deeply, 'always in motion, the future is.' You can't assume she'll betray you, but you can't assume you'll always be enough. And while we can't prepare for everything, being ready for possibilities gives you more options."
The scowled deepened. "I know, Master. I've been your Padawan for years now. Plan for everything and expect something to still go wrong."
"And you hold true to this and living in the here and now on any mission or in any battle. But in everyday life?" Obi-Wan sighed. "You still tend to leap in without looking. I don't want you hurt, Anakin, if you leapt into this."
Anakin sighed, but did not argue. Obi-Wan felt along the bond, trying to gauge what was going on in his Padawan's mind. Anakin was definitely not happy with how this conversation was going, but underneath was a desperate need to prove to Obi-Wan that he was ready. That he could handle it. So Anakin held onto calm and focused on his answers. He didn't answer blindly. He considered Obi-Wan's questions, thought about his responses, and articulated them as clearly as he could.
This not only made Obi-Wan proud all over again, it showed a level of maturity that Anakin had only shown in bursts over the years. His Padawan was finally growing up, and this warmed Obi-Wan's heart immensely.
"It would hurt, Master," Anakin said quietly, answering the question. "I'd be angry. Despite my best efforts I know in bad situations I react with anger and fear."
"You'd be right to be angry. That's not the question." Obi-Wan nudged him again with his foot. "Could you let her go if it made her happy? You are as ready as you can be to let Padme go if she were to die. But if she wishes to be elsewhere to be happy? Can you do what a Jedi must and let go?"
Anakin let out a soft growl before leaning back and slipping into meditation to seek the answer. They simply sat there for a time, Obi-Wan' sipping his tea. He knew Anakin tended to hold on to things. Over the years, he'd seen time and time again that Anakin's attachments gave him great strength, but he struggled with letting go when it was necessary. Anakin's feelings gave him great power, but he held onto them, long after they were no longer necessary. It was the most difficult part of Anakin's training. It was what Obi-Wan had been working on with Anakin for years and still his Padawan struggled.
"I'd... I'd fight for her, Master." Anakin said quietly. "I wouldn't give her up without a fight. But... if she still... I..." Anakin heaved a great sigh. "I'd... want her to be happy."
Obi-Wan gazed at his Padawan. "As I said, Anakin," he stated quietly, "I doubt this will happen. You doubt it would as well, and I think that it is the Force guiding us both in that belief. I don't ask these questions to spoil such a happy moment." Obi-Wan searched for the words. "I worry about you, Anakin. You have talents and abilities that far outshine my own. But the one thing you struggle with and have not mastered, is your self. You said once that I was like a father to you. Well you are like a brother to me. And I wouldn't be much of a brother if I didn't look out for you."
Anakin snapped his head up to face his master, eyes wide in shock. Slowly, a large smile appeared and the overwhelming joy that had diminished during the conversation surged forward again, even brighter than before.
"Master. I'm happy. Padme is happy. We will be happy. I just know it. I can't explain why I know it, but I do. Just like I knew I'd marry Padme when I first saw her."
Obi-Wan nodded and smiled. "Then all I can ask is that you don't sacrifice your happiness for hers, because that will make her unhappy. She's a born politician. Compromise should come naturally."
Anakin chuckled softly. "So you approve, my master?"
"Yes. Not of the timing. I think after the war would have been better and spared both of you of the complications you'll be facing, but yes. I approve of anything that has you glowing so brightly it's hard to see."
"Master!" They laughed together.
It was good to feel so happy.
"Now, my married and reckless Padawan, I have one more question."
Anakin groaned.
"It is my personal belief that at least one member of the Council should know about this. But this is your life, thus, it is your decision."
"They can't know yet," Anakin replied without an ounce of hesitation. "They don't trust me. They'll never respect me until I've earned it in their eyes and if they knew about this, any chance I have might as well have been sent to Wild Space."
"That's why I'm not saying the whole Council. Just one of them. Master Yoda, perhaps?"
"No, Master." Anakin gave a sad smile. "I understand where you're coming from, but they'll have to earn the right to know this, just like I have to still earn their trust and respect."
Obi-Wan nodded, not liking Anakin's decision, but understanding it. He also felt a warm glow that his Padawan had felt that Obi-wan had earned the right to know this secret.
"Very well, I shall bow to your wishes." Obi-Wan grinned, shifting his bad leg off of Anakin's lap. "Another pastry in celebration?"
Anakin smiled as he got up to go to the kitchen.
Author's Notes: And now you see how the time we spent in earlier small drabbles that seemed almost inconsequential have led to quite the deviation from canon. If it wasn't for the previous fourteen chapters spent in Anakin's younger years, of building trust in Obi-Wan, discussing the possibility of marriage, this chapter wouldn't have been possible. Much of EU canon is still in tact, from the Jud Watson books to all of Attack of the Clones. But suddenly, things are starting to change. And we keep veering away from canon, though much of the Clone Wars will still be the same. (If the occasional slip of order is any indication. ^_^)
As an aside, it's nice to finally be able to post. For some reason, wasn't allowing us to edit the story to post. But many thanks to MobiObi for telling us the trick! If any of you are trying to edit a story and getting an error that requires you to email support, check the actual address in the address bar and change the ?property to ?content and it should work. This makes live easier.
As another aside, we can't tell if it's or our gmail account, but notifications from has been getting to us almost two days late. Therefore, since we do try to reply to everyone who is kind enough to give reviews, we may end up late on responding. We apologize in advance.
Next week: War is gruesome and visions are worse.