Chapter 18

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"Mommy!"

Between Kate and Castle's closed bedroom door and Zoey's room down the hall, Kate barely stirred when the little girl kept yelling for her.

"Moommyy!" There was a pause and then, "Daddy!... Daaddyy!"

Castle finally jerked awake at the noise, scrubbing at his eyes and glancing at the clock. 2:34 a.m. He briefly wondered if he had imagined the yelling but…

"Mommy! Daddy!"

Nope. Definitely had not imagined that.

He lifted the covers and toed the carpet for his slippers, shivering at the sudden loss of heat. Shuffling out of the room quietly so as not to wake up Kate, he turned on the hallway light only after he had closed the door behind him. The brightness made him squint his way to Zoey's room where she was still yelling, albeit softer, for them.

"Hey Zo," Castle whispered as he opened the door, sending a shaft of light into her room. He heard her quiet sobs as he approached the bed. "What's wrong?"

Zoey crawled into his lap as soon as he sat down. "Scary noise," she sniffled.

Castle hugged her tight, trying to pull the covers around her at the same time so she wouldn't get cold. "It's just the wind, honey," he said, "It's snowing outside."

Zoey shook her head and grasped onto Castle's shirt with one of her hands. "Snow not scary," she replied.

"Well, it just doesn't sound nice because it's a snowstorm but when you wake up tomorrow morning, the ground will be beautiful and white. Then you can make snow angels and snowmen," Castle said, "Doesn't that sound good?"

At that moment, a large gust of wind made Zoey's windows rattle. She immediately huddled closer and whimpered. Castle stroked her hair soothingly. "How about I stay in here with you until you fall back asleep?" he asked.

"Not sleepy," she murmured around the thumb in her mouth.

Castle knew Zoey was lying from the yawn that followed but he also knew that she would be unable to fall back asleep as long as the wind continued to shriek outside her window. More importantly, Castle had a feeling Zoey would refuse to let him leave her side.

Castle grabbed the silk-lined blue fleece blanket draped over the foot of the bed and wrapped it around Zoey. "All right, kiddo," he said, lifting her up, "How about we go get some warm milk then?"

Zoey nodded, leaning her head against his chest as he carried her down the stairs. As the milk heated up on the stove, he walked them over to the window. New York City at night always seemed to enchant Zoey, with its silhouetted skyline lit up in bright colours. Castle hoped that the familiar landscape would soothe her even as it was currently being pelted with whirling bits of ice.

"Hey." Kate's voice behind them made him startle.

"Hey," he said, turning around. "Did I wake you?"

She turned off the stove as he made his way over with Zoey. "Well, the bed got a little cold," she replied with a smile. She finished pouring the milk into one of Zoey's cups before leaning over to give the little girl a kiss on the cheek. She blew on the drink for a couple of minutes and then handed it to Zoey. "Be careful, Zo," she cautioned, "It's hot so take little sips."

Kate caught Castle's eye once Zoey was preoccupied with the drink. "Snowstorm?" she mouthed.

Castle nodded. Being careful not to jostle Zoey, he wrapped an arm around Kate's waist to pull her closer. "She didn't just call for you," he whispered into her ear, "She called for me, too."

Kate leaned back to look at him. "Yeah," she said, wondering why he thought that was peculiar, "So?"

The expression that accompanied his shrug was enigmatic. Before Kate could question him further, Zoey tugged at her robe.

"Done, mommy," she said.

Kate put the cup in the sink and wiped Zoey's mouth with a paper towel. "Are you ready to go back to sleep now?" she asked.

Zoey shook her head stubbornly but her eyes were already starting to droop.

"C'mon, Zo," Kate said, making a gesture for Castle to start moving towards the stairs, "How about I tuck you in again?"

"No," Zoey blinked drowsily, "Sleep with you and daddy."

Kate paused, her right foot stilling over the first step. Her eyes flicked over to Castle who simply nodded. "She called for you," Kate murmured, finally understanding his earlier words.

She stayed silent for the rest of the way up, expression inscrutable.

"Are you freaking out right now?" he asked as they walked into the bedroom. Kate got back into bed, reaching up to relieve Castle of the nearly asleep Zoey in his arms so that he could climb in too. They let Zoey wriggle around between them until she could tuck comfortably into Kate's side while staying within grasping distance of Castle.

"I'm way too tired to think about it right now," Kate finally replied, "Remind me to freak out about it in the morning, 'k?"

Castle answered with a smile, conveying amusement at his and Kate's reactions. But, as he gently stroked the little hand resting palm down beside his pillow, he couldn't help but feel joy at the possibility of being a daddy to another little girl.

.

The conversation was postponed for several days. Not because either one of them was avoiding it but simply because it never came up again when they happened to be together. Kate and Zoey didn't sleep over for the next couple of days – Kate still refused to do her laundry at Castle's and she had run out of clean work clothes – and then on the weekend, she drove up to White Plains so that Zoey could spend some time with her grandpa.

Castle wondered if Zoey had just been tired that night and, without knowing the meaning of the word, hadn't really understood the gravity of the moniker. After all, Zoey spent a lot of time with Alexis who, obviously, called him 'dad'. And, in stories that they read to her, mommies and daddies seemed to be linked (as much as they tried to expose her to different kinds of families). In simple imitation and being as much of a primary caregiver as Kate, Zoey must have taken all of that information and assumed that if Kate could also be called 'mommy' then Castle could also be called 'daddy'.

Unfortunately, when the topic did come up again, it was much more public.

Alexis was home for the weekend and they had all decided to go to Serendipity for desserts. Zoey had already drawn stares – of the 'how adorable, I wish I had one of those' variety – from others in the tiny restaurant when her order of a Freckleface Strawberry Sundae had arrived and she had squealed in delight. Kate and Castle had been sharing a 'Can't Say No' Sundae, not really paying attention to the fact that Alexis had been using her eyeliner pencil to draw on Zoey's face.

That is until Zoey said loudly, "Daddy, look!"

Kate almost did a spit-take with the melting ice cream in her mouth. Not at what Zoey wanted to show them – that Alexis had drawn little freckles on her cheeks – but at the spontaneous repetition of a word whose meaning was still undetermined, as she and Castle had forgotten to have that particular discussion.

"You don't like it, mommy?" Zoey asked when she didn't get the immediate response she was looking for.

"Oh! Zo, of course I like it!" Kate said, after quickly swallowing that last spoonful of ice cream. "You look very nice."

Zoey beamed and went back to eating her previously abandoned sundae. Alexis, on the other hand, looked amused at Kate's reaction. "I guess you guys never talked about it?" Alexis said to Castle.

Alexis was referring to hearing Zoey call Castle 'daddy' during the entirety of Friday movie night. She had no idea that it hadn't been an isolated event.

"Your dad told you about the snowstorm?" Kate questioned.

Now Alexis was confused. "What snowstorm?"

"Am I missing something here?" said Kate, looking at Castle who had conveniently shoved a massive spoonful of banana and ice cream into his mouth. Kate rolled her eyes and Alexis squirmed in her seat, wondering if she was next in line for questioning.

Deep down, though, Alexis knew it wasn't something she had to worry about. Unlike the pestering she got from her own mother and sometimes even Grams, neither Kate nor her dad ever, ever put her in the middle. This courtesy made her feel respected and, more than that, was part of the reason she liked – possibly loved – Kate so much. At the very least, it was definitely much more than any of her dad's previous girlfriends.

But right now, Alexis couldn't help but flinch at the look on Kate's face. Her raised eyebrows as she waited for her dad to swallow made her look frightening. And not in a cop way either. In a maternal way.

In fact, Kate's own internal panic mode that seemed to accompany any relationship of hers that started to get dangerously domestic was getting set off. "You know, Castle, we've been putting this off but our… this… this dynamic—" she gestured at their – and it literally made her want to run away just for thinking it – little makeshift family unit, "—needs to be discussed."

The pitch of Castle's voice came out a little higher than normal when he finally managed to respond. "Here?" he asked.

For somebody so private, Kate had lost sight of where they were. She bit her lip, wishing she could take back some of her reactions.

Again, it was Alexis to the rescue. "Well, I think we're all done with dessert," she started, eyes flicking back and forth between the two adults, "So… family meeting at home?"

.

Alexis was sitting cross-legged on the carpet with Zoey in her lap, facing Castle and Kate who were sitting on the couch. When it came to relationships, Kate and Castle were both emotionally stunted, albeit in completely opposite ways. (She kept her heart in a hermetically sealed box while he gave his away a little too freely. Either way, both ended up leading to disastrous demises.)

At this particular moment, Kate and Castle were attempting to explain the terms 'mommy' and 'daddy' to an increasingly perplexed Zoey.

"Zoey… mommy…" Zoey said, pointing to herself and then to Kate. "Lexi… daddy…" Now, she pointed from Alexis to Castle. Then, hesitatingly, she said, "Zoey… daddy…?"

Castle shook his head only because Kate did.

"Why?" Zoey demanded.

"Because," Kate said, "It's the same as why Lexi calls me Kate and not mommy." Zoey seemed to have worked out that connection, at least. Although, Castle and Kate suspected it was because Zoey had never heard Alexis call her 'mom'.

"But why?" Zoey asked again.

"Because mommy didn't—"

Kate was cut off by Alexis, who had stayed silent and characteristically observant up until that point. "Guys, there is no way you can expect a two-year-old to understand this concept." And then she added cheekily, "I just learned that in my developmental psych. class."

Castle knew that. And he knew that Kate knew it, too, but he also understood why she kept trying. "I think," he said, "That Zoey simply wants to know what she should call me."

"And what should that be?" Kate asked with a wayward glance at Castle.

But it wasn't Castle who answered.

"I think Zo has every right to call dad, well, dad." Zoey looked up at Alexis upon hearing her name. Alexis smiled at her little sister – she was embracing the opportunity to properly label her relationship – before continuing. "Kate, I don't call you mom because you're right – I didn't grow up with you. And, even though you take care of me now and I love you—" Kate's eyes widened a little at that, "—it would just be a little weird. For both of us."

Castle smiled at his daughter's honesty and maturity. Kate had been right in that they had all needed to sort out what everybody meant to one another. Even if it had been his right – which it hadn't because Alexis was old enough to make her own decisions – he wouldn't have been able to express himself as comfortably as Alexis was managing to do at that moment.

"But I've been in Zo's life for as long as you have, Kate." Castle took over, grateful to Alexis for giving him a way in. "And, I mean, maybe I haven't shared all of the burdens involved with Zoey's care—"

"—you have," Kate said quietly.

Castle took her hand in his. "If you're worried about what I think, just know that I'm totally okay with Zoey calling me… whatever she wants to call me."

"Me too," Alexis chimed in. "Zoey's already my little sister, right Zo?"

Zoey smiled brightly up at Alexis in response.

Castle could see Kate's brain whirring, like it did when she was trying to piece all of the evidence together. "Hey Alexis," he said, averting his attention momentarily, "Do you mind taking Zoey upstairs and helping her get ready for bed?"

"Sure thing," Alexis responded, knowing there was something more behind his simple request but choosing to stay oblivious anyway.

There was a moment of silence once Alexis and Zoey had disappeared up the stairs. Finally, Castle blurted out, "Don't run away from this, Kate."

"I'm not," she said. Her voice was quiet but firm. "You're important to me, Castle. And so is Alexis."

"Is there a 'but' in there?" Castle asked, still on edge and alert.

"There's no 'but'," she replied. She gave him a little smile to show him that she was really okay. "It's just that… when I look at my life, a lot has changed in a relatively short amount of time. And I didn't plan for any of it. I mean, I've been in relationships – long-term relationships – before but…"

"…never one with a built-in family?" he supplied.

Kate nodded. And then her eyes drifted down to look at her and Castle's joined hands. "A family…" she trailed off and then asked, almost rhetorically. "That's really what we are, aren't we?"

Castle squeezed her hands, wisely choosing to let her come to her own conclusions.

Then, abruptly, she turned on the couch so that her body faced his. She stared at him intently and her words came out almost like a demand. "You're sticking, right?"

He put on his best earnest puppy face. "Like glue."

"And this – us – it's for real?"

She was seeking reassurance and even though he had said it a hundred times before in a hundred different ways, he would feel no burden in repeating it a hundred more if that was what it took to convince her. "Forever, Kate," he said, "This is forever."

A/N: Thanks so much for all the well-wishes on my trip! I did have loads of fun even though it was quite sloshy...

Also, I know some of you have been requesting the whole 'Zoey calls Castle 'daddy'' thing for a while now and believe it or not, I had actually planned to have that happen as well – it just took a while to get here because I wanted it to feel organic. Anyway, even though I kind of planned it, this chapter was ridiculously hard to write for some reason… so, please tell me if you liked it!