Chapter 29
Lover
No one at the table mentioned anything that might have involved Senku and me. It's nice to have some peace for a while.
After lunch, I helped Lilian clean up while Mr. Byakuya had a private conversation with Senku.
"Kohaku, I hope that the reason you are here has nothing to do with what you need to do for your family, especially Ruri. I am also hoping that this will be the case if you ever decide to come back to the USA is not because of some eagerness to flee what is difficult.I know the feeling too well of losing someone important to you, and it made an impact to who you are today. I might not know the full story of why you need to do this, but I can tell you whatever it is, it is never the wisest choice."
The truth in her words struck me, and I immediately ceased what I was doing.
"Aunt Lilian I.." I finally broke down, gazed at her earnestly as I collapsed into a tangled heap, and sobbed uncontrollably for the first time in weeks.
"Oh.." She quickly stopped washing, turned off the water, and wiped her hand on a tablecloth before coming to me. "Oh, I hate seeing you like this.." She forced me to sit down, and although I tried to stifle my tears with my hand but they just kept coming.
"It is my fault, Aunt Lilian. Everything that has happened."
"Your parents might not be able to say it to you, but they already forgave you. Ruri forgives you. They made sure you were left in my care to have a wonderful life that she wasn't able to have."
"But I do not forgive myself. All these years, theres only one thing that kept me going, and that is to fulfill my promise to Ruri–that I'll help her secure and take back our estate. It's all I have to remember her by. I was the reason why she died. I was supposed to help her that day, but I failed. I was intended to help our parents, but instead, my mother killed herself because of me, and my father died before he saw me graduate, and—-"
"It is not right that you were left to grieve on alone. That was my fault; I should have prioritized family over career."
"But you were also grieving on my mother and Ruri's, and that is the only way you can cope up."
"But so were you." She stretched out to hold both of my hands, and while staring at me, she continued, "And after you had already lost your father too. Kohaku…"
"You took me in as your own and never treated me any differently. Everything I did and all that I am today, you still gave a future after what happened to my family. I owed it to you."
"You owed me nothing!" She squeeze my hands as she stared at me to prove her point, she now had my attention as she continued, "You never had to earn your place in my life. I loved you from the day I met you. Oh, love is not something that is ever owed Kohaku." She arranged a lock of my hair covering my face due to tears, "You came into my life as my niece, but I treated you like my own daughter, and I never treated you as anything else." Her chin trembled as a lone tear tickled her cheek. "Oh, I–It grieves me to think you do not believe you deserve all of the love in the world." She pull me in to hug me while I continued sobbing in her chest.
"You do not have to tell me everything about the reason why you're with Senku. I fully trust you have your own reason to do so." She broke our hug and proceeded to cup my face as she wipes the tears, "But please follow your heart this time Kohaku, break free from the past."
The whole time, Lilian tried to console me. Once Senku and Mr. Byakuya were done talking, they made the decision to leave once we had finished. I say goodbye to Lilian, she gives me a hug and tells me to call if I ever need anything. Just before she got in the car, she blew me a kiss and mouthed "I love you." I kept an eye out for their car until it was out of sight.
My thoughts strayed to everything that had transpired before, all of which had taken place due of my hasty decision to comply with Senku. Everyone who will hear of it will think 'Kohaku Hizashi is stupid. She married Senku Ishigami and weeks after the wedding he's already talking to his lover over the phone' I really am stupid, ain't I?
From this point onwards, I need to remember why I married him.
Turquoise informed me as soon as I got back to our estate, that Senku wanted to be left alone inside his office, so be it. I never had any plans on dealing with him anymore, who knows maybe he's talking to his lover right now and reassuring her about everything.
It sounds petty, is irritating that he thinks he can show his father and Lilian us being better than we are. Even more so, I was frustrated at myself for being stupid all this time.
I shut my eyes tight and mentally scolded myself for diverting my attention elsewhere when I should have been planning to get away from his clutches and focus on reclaiming our property.
The whole two weeks passed by, and I was left to wander everytime around the estate to see any changes the current owner decided to do. Once in a while, I'd pitch in with farm work, cooking meals, and the like. I also overheard several of the maids talking about how they heard a lot of crashing and smashing sounds coming from Senku's office around a few weeks ago.
Who knows, maybe that's just how he loves to conduct experiments, so I'm not going to worry about it. He's been that way ever since we were in high school; once, everyone thought there was a bomb and had to evacuate the building, but it turned out to be just Senku's failed experiment.
This time I wanted to explore more of our farms, but one of the maids warned me not to go near the greenhouses. I did not force my way in, and later I heard her saying, "Dr. Ishigami told us to forbid you to go there, saying you should go visit somewhere else, like the swamp near the foot of the hills, ma'am."
Being as introverted and fearless as I am, I have taken the housekeeper's suggestion since I am bored out of my mind. I hiked to the spot she described and paused to take in the breathtaking scenery. The evening sun cast long shadows on the ground. The slanting rays of the setting sun gave a warm orange tinge to the sky. It was breathtaking, it made me remember I had to hurry to the location I was intended to go or I won't make it and see the nice attraction, I just supposed Senku preserved their natural habitat.
Theres a small nipa hut just near the river where I decided to stay and wait for the intended hour. It was already nighttime. There were no visible stars – only a solitary beaming moon shining upon the still waters, only the cuckoos of the birds and lizards' gecko clicking sounds were the only music in the river.
Fortunately, the mangrove forest was not far from this house. I had been checking the time for what seemed like an eternity until I noticed a tiny sparkle among the trees. The sparkles intensified as I got closer, beckoning me to watch the tiny rotating lights dancing before my eyes. Oh, fireflies! Hundreds of fireflies twinkle once and together.
How they twinkled like a string of white Christmas lights was beyond my knowledge, until someone break me from my stupor…
"It's human nature to be fascinated by strange things like fireflies. As beetles belonging to the family of Lampyridae, it includes the ones with flickering lights on their butts, glowworms, and daytime dark fireflies. Observing you looking at them like a child and are so excited to see them in their natural habitat, lioness, somewhat makes it contagious for me to also have felt lucky to witness this sight. We humans are, unfortunately, the biggest threat to fireflies. In order for these beetles to make it, we must become better land managers. Since I first discovered this place, I've been careful in preserving the place around the area. These fireflies are such fragile creatures so you must know it is also the reason you and I are the only ones who should know about this place."
I was so engrossed in my own thoughts that I failed to notice Senku approaching me and standing close by as he, too, admired the sight of the fireflies. He is simply wearing a white t-shirt and jeans, with his hands in his pockets. Never having wished to interact with him, I got to my feet and left my seat before knowing what he would do next.
Taking me by the arm, he turned me around to face him, "We need to discuss what happened at the meeting with my father, Kohaku. I followed you here because of that."
"Huh? We already talked about it in front of them, right? Wasn't that enough for you?" I sarcastically noted at him. I shook my head and was about to take back my arm when he held into it tight but not enough to hurt me.
"It isn't. Kohaku I need to clarify some things with you I—"
"I don't want to hear anymore of your lies, Senku!" He decided to untighten my arm, the moment he heard what I just said. I saw him tightening his fist like he was about to punch something. He ruffled his hair with a serious face and angry look in his eyes. I decided to get to the other corner of the hut facing the other side of the river overlooking the rest of the forest with the fireflies still twinkling as our background. Appreciating the scenery is beyond me at this moment, I am more irritated and anxious as I heard him following me from behind.
"What is that all about what you just said Kohaku? Are you jealous? Is it about what you saw, is it about Chisato?"
"I am not jealous, Senku. Most especially I am not jealous of someone. I'd like to be left alone please."
He close his eyes tightly, spasms of irritation cross his face. He massaged the bridge of his nose before he lifted his eyes on me. He's more problematic than me huh?
"You sound like you are jealous of someone Kohaku. Don't deny it." He said spacing the words evenly.
"Oh, Senku you are so full of yourself. You have every bad attitude I don't like in a man. You're a liar… and.. and arrogant!" He took a step forward, closing in on the space that separated us. His eyes blazing with unknown feelings now. My heart leaped when he's now in front of me.
A huffing wind rose up then a tinkling sound came to our ears as the first pearls of rain dropped outside, making everything all gloomy and dark.
"I am trying to understand you Kohaku. Don't make this hard for us!"
"You are the one making this hard for us! Didn't I tell you before I agree to this marriage to get back our estate and not make me look stupid! Senku we'll only do this for six months, can you please stop contacting your lovers like the hungry man you are!"
His eyes widened at what I just said. "What the hell Kohaku!?"
I blinked. I feel like I've never seen him this angry. I was about to continue what to say but reprimand myself.
"Who is it Kohaku? Chisato? Luna? Who?!"
I pushed him away because any second longer in his presence, I might punch and destroy that pretty face. Does the name even matter?
"Don't turn your back on me!" He caught my arm again and I slap him hard, he tilted his head to the side.
"Don't touch me!" I shouted at him.
He was able to quickly composed himself like the hard slap I gave him didn't even affect him.
"I'm not done talking, Kohaku!"
"I'm done with you Senku! Your words don't matter anymore. Remember we are only married by paper! You do not own me!"
We could also hear an occasional plunking sound as our background. It was caused by the rainwater gathered on the hut's roof falling to the ground in a great swash of release.
His jaw tightened. My breathing came with ragged huffs that I was completely unprepared for his unexpected proximity. I could tell that he was about to lose it because of me. I was terrified he would assault me physically. He had this scorching glare that it almost made me tremble.
"You have no clue how startled I was to see you standing in my office with your back to me after such a long time. You had no idea of the things I am thinking doing with you Kohaku. I can't seem to gain my focus back now that you're here. That everytime you are thinking of running away or slipping again out of my reach, I can easily lose my mind over it. I have my own morals to keep, yet you've driven me to the brink of insanity."
"I am not yours Senku." I spat at him. He reached for my waist to close the space between us, and I can feel the wall pressing into my back.
"Oh? Why's my name branded on yours then?"
"You're not even my real lover how can you say such a thing?" I bit my lip. After hearing what he said, I felt a cold chill run up my spine and my gaze drifted to my feet. I shook my head, I parted my lips to say something, but the words just won't come out. "What about—"
He didn't let me continue, he inclined his face toward mine and without any notice, he pressed his mouth against mine. Our bodies pressed together heatedly against the wall, breathing heavily as our lips pressed together. His kiss is like a fire that's fanning the flames of the anger I have for him. It made my mind go blank. The only thing that's on my mind right now is his kiss.
As much as this kiss meant something for us… My tears escaped as I felt I couldn't kiss him back. He's dominating the kiss he's giving like I don't have the right to give him one. I can't kiss him back because our relationship is fake and this is all for show. Is this a punishment of some sort? I have no interest in finding out, but I do know that my feelings for him have nothing to do with why I'm here. I have returned to reclaim our property. I'm not here for him, and he's not here for me. He hopes to achieve his goals in this place.
Our goals are the only driving force why we're doing this. The rain was heavier now, drumming on the roof, as darkness crept across the room. The embers of the fire were a dull glow as the rain drops pelted against the window.
"And I can't let you go again, your hand print's on my soul Kohaku" I can hear thunder in the distance and it begins to rain harder.
It's utterly scary how this love feels so good. Its too unbelievable that once I lose this, I know I won't risk it ever again.
I kissed him back, he returned it back as his hands slipped from my neck and his fingers gripped my blonde hair. We are married. After all this, everyone will think something happened between us, might as well enjoy this fucking idea right? Dammit!
He's kissing me roughly now. Once, twice, until I've had a taste and realize I'll never have enough. He's everywhere up my back and over my arms and suddenly he's kissing me harder, deeper, with a fervent urgent need I've never known before.
A moment later I was so occupied with our kissing I felt him laying me on the warm sheets of the bed, I felt hot contrasting to the cool weather we are having outside. We are kissing like crazy. Like our lives depend on it. His tongue slips inside my mouth, gentle but demanding, and it's nothing as I've ever experienced, and I suddenly understand why people describe kissing as melting because every square inch of my body dissolves into his. My fingers grip his hair, pulling him closer. My veins throb and my heart explodes. I have never wanted anyone like this before. Ever. His lips taste like honey. His face rubs my skin but I don't care, I don't care at all. He feels wonderful. His hands are everywhere, and it doesn't matter that his mouth is already on top of mine, I want him closer.
I can already feel him underneath me, the more I felt him made me weak. He met me halfway with every beat. And as our kisses went deeper, my sanity vanished rapidly. I cried out when he showered my neck with tingling kisses. He is still teasing me with his thrusts while I'm lying underneath him still with my clothes on.
His kisses made me dizzy. I felt one of his hands on my chest, his large calloused hand molded my plump flesh. I can't help but think how my laces feel offending in this situation we're in. The desire to have them gone is strong, but I lack the confidence to express it.
His other hand reached for me in between my thighs. My eyes widen when I felt him touch me there. He was looking at me vehemently while my face burns in embarrassment like he wants to see my reaction.
"You're already dripping Kohaku," he whispered, my breathing heaved as I felt his mouth leave my ear. I turned my head away from him while he just chuckled at my reaction. Is it so shocking that even in our situation I would still feel lust? Dammit!
Two fingers worked inside me, a little uncomfortable but nothing I couldn't handle. Not so long as he kept his mouth on me, lavishing my breasts with attention. His thumb rubbed around a sweet spot and my eyes rolled back into my head. So close. The strength of what was building was staggering. Mind-blowing. My body would be blown to dust, atoms, when this hit. If he stopped, I'd cry. Cry, and beg. And maybe kill… I came, groaning, every muscle drawn taut. It was almost too much. Almost.
"They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds?" He said as he looked at me arbitrarily before kissing my forehead and then my lips. I could taste our shared breath, and feel the thud of our combined heartbeat as we fumbled to take off one another's clothes.
I covered my bare body with a blanket. I saw him smirking at me as he attempt to remove his shirt next. "You came onto me strong yet your body can't lie Kohaku." I felt my face turn hot at what he just said after that he swiftly removed his shirt.
I marveled at the entirety of his chest. He has a lean physique that looks toned and muscular with a decently low level of body fat. I had no idea he was hiding a figure like that under all those clothes, because he appears a little lean. It's impressive, and it makes me wonder how he finds the time to be a genius and a gym rat at the same time. Dammit! I hid my face since I can't stand for him to hang around for so long.
I couldn't even remember our first time, and how I was so brave to face him!
He quickly seizes the blanket I had wrapped around myself and tosses it out of my reach. He shackled my hands with his hand above my head, and now I stand before him completely undressed. His eyes were piercing as he said,
"I need to make sure you understand something first. In here I will take control because you need it that way. I will learn your body better than my own and have you begging for more. But outside this room, you f*king own me. Hell, I will worship the very ground you walk if you'll only let me." I can't seem to think straight lately...I used to depend on the ground to support me now but I'm not so sure. I'm sinking into some sort of current, upended and dragged through a dense, slow-moving fire.
"I—" He didn't give me a chance to respond before he began to kiss me passionately. Before sticking his tongue inside my mouth, he brushes his lips on mine. I moan and pull his body down tightly against me, skin to skin. He sucks on my lower lip. He runs his fingers through my hair. Then his hand is on my breast, thumb on my nipple.
He kissed my ear, as he said, 'I don't want either of us to ever forget this night.'
I kiss him in a way I'd never thought possible, my hips moving against him, knowing there must be more. Senku then settled himself between my legs. And then he was at the portal. I moaned so loud. My world is spinning. The beats made me delirious! Waves of ecstasy dominated my body and mind as I felt his tip on me. The sharp pain I had once endured was a distant memory, and nothing, absolutely nothing in this world, felt as good as the sensation of him slowly sliding inside me.
"'Are you all right?' he asked. He sounded as if he was holding himself in check as if it took all of his will to do so.
"God, Senku! Please don't stop!" I arched against him when he moved to my other breast. I can't help but moan his name, I can't help but produce sounds that were foreign to me. When his claimed me. I can't help but notice the pulsating feeling. The sensitive flesh in between my thighs throbbed crazily. The unbearable need to feel something is making me so high. I push Senku when I felt a different kind of feeling as the rhythm of the falling rain outside. He stopped kissing me at that moment. His arousal slowly pushed inside me. I ignored the burning pain it caused. Like I want more of him. I feel like I can't live without him. I feel like I'm going really crazy!
Most of all I feel so selfish. The past week I accidentally entered his room and kiss him in the process, he avoided me after that because he didn't want us to make another mistake that we'll regret but I can see us losing ourselves in this memory. All I can see right now is us twisted in these bedsheets, so much of us that I didn't care about what would been. He wasn't mine to lose after all we are just here to feed our carnal desires.
He reaches out to me again and kisses me gently this time. The way he does it felt like something warm was surging within me. He slowly thrusts inside me as well. And with every entrance, I would moan in desire and burning pain. With each thrust he gave me that familiar feeling. My legs tightened around him as he kissed me on my neck. I need him desperately. I need more of him. I want him so bad. He showered kisses on my chest again as he kissed me on my neck and I moan for that addicting burst. He kiss me again, as he touched one of my breasts, his thrusts now faster and deeper.
I felt his fingers between my legs while he's grinding and gliding on me. "Kohaku.." he whispered and kissed me again to drown out my voice, downing me on the waves and beats of passion. It was terrifying, and with that, I felt him inside of me.
After I came, my thoughts went completely haywire the same moment his body was laid on top of me. He kissed me on the neck and continued to dote on my shoulders for a while. He patiently waited for me to settle my mind as I felt him covering my body with a blanket and his arms supporting my head as a pillow….closing my eyes then come my heavy breathing…
Sleep is slowly taking me over when I felt him tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear and whispers, "What are you doing to me Kohaku?"