Chapter 38

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Neither Kate nor Castle slept very soundly the night before Zoey's first day of preschool.

"This is it," Castle said. It was way too early in the morning and they were both staring up at the ceiling, eyes wide open.

"What?" Kate asked.

"Our little girl is growing up."

"Oh, Castle. She's only four." Kate sighed a minute later. "But I know what you mean."

They both tried to get another hour of sleep after that but Castle kept tossing and turning. Finally, "Can you stop that?" Kate said, annoyed.

Castle sat up. "I can't sleep anymore."

"You're restless."

He leaned over to peer into Kate's face. "You're not sleeping either."

"I would be if you stopped kicking me every five seconds."

"Fine," Castle said, just a little petulantly, "I'm going to make Zo a special breakfast today. Blueberry pancakes shaped like animals. Does she still like elephants? Maybe I'll stick with dogs… oh! How about a strawberry banana smoothie? Do you—"

"—Castle!" Kate interrupted, "Just go and do it instead of sitting here." She nudged him until he hopped off the bed.

"Fine," he said, "I was going to make you handcuffs-shaped blueberry pancakes but now I'm not so sure."

Kate had half a mind to just open her eyes so she could roll them at him.

Still, ten minutes after Castle had left the room, Kate found she was also going crazy lying in bed. She found herself at Zoey's door, pressing her ear against it to make sure she was up before knocking gently and entering.

"Good morning, Zo," Kate said, "Are you excited for your first day of school?"

In a mimic of her parents, Zoey was lying on her back and staring up at the ceiling, petting her stuffed plush doggie. "Mommy?" she said quietly.

Kate sat down beside her, brushing strands of hair away from her face. "Are you a little nervous, Zo? Because that's okay, too."

Over the summer, Zoey had finally warmed up to the idea of school – it helped that Alexis took the time to explain that's where she was all the time and how much fun it would be. It also helped that she got to pick out a new backpack and new crayons. Still, once Zoey's mind drifted away from the novelty of, well, novelty, she would remember that school also meant spending a long span of time, comparatively speaking, with strangers.

Zoey's eyes started to well up after Kate had approached her bed. "I like playing at home with daddy," she said now.

"I know you do," said Kate, "But maybe you'll like playing with other boys and girls, too. You might even like it more."

Zoey shook her head.

"Well, you haven't even tried it yet," Kate replied, taking a hold of Zoey's hand. "Do you remember when you first tried carrots?" She waited for Zoey's nod. "You said you would never like them because you didn't like orange but now you love carrots!"

"My favourite colour is orange," Zoey added.

"That's right," Kate said, "So, just like carrots, I think you should give school a try. You won't know until you try, right?"

Zoey was quiet for a few minutes in deep contemplation of Kate's words but Kate knew there were a slew of other worries on her mind – even though she and Castle had tried to answer some every night for the past week.

"What if they don't like me?" Zoey asked.

"Zoey, that won't happen," Kate said, quite positive about that fact, "You are smart and you know how to share and you have a beautiful smile… I don't think you have to worry about people not liking you. And remember that all the other boys and girls are just as nervous as you are about school and making friends so you're not alone either."

Zoey squirmed around before meeting Kate's eyes again. "My tummy doesn't feel good, mommy," she said.

Kate rubbed at Zoey's stomach over her covers. "I think you'll feel much better after breakfast. I think daddy said something about animal pancakes," Kate said, enticingly.

"I'm not hungry," Zoey replied, even as she slid out of bed and let Kate lead her down the stairs.

"Well, let's see if you can eat just a little bit," Kate said, "Otherwise you won't have enough energy for school and we don't want that, do we?"

Kate could smell the heavenly mix of coffee and pancakes as the two of them rounded the corner and made their way into the kitchen.

"There's my big girl!" Castle said with a huge smile. He abandoned his cooking in order to give Zoey a good morning kiss.

Kate took over the flipping of pancakes - a bunny, an octopus, and something that she assumed was supposed to resemble a turtle - while Castle got Zoey settled at the dining table with a glass of orange juice and a reassuring explanation of how eating some penguin-shaped pancakes would definitely chase away some of those butterflies in her stomach. "That's some kind of logic you've got going there, Castle," she said with a chuckle when he made his way back to the stove.

"You don't know," Castle replied with a grin, "It could happen."

"Uh huh," Kate said, handing the spatula back to Castle so she could cut two (doggy-shaped) pancakes into bite-sized pieces for Zoey.

"I can do it, mommy," Zoey insisted, reaching for the plastic green fork and dull knife in Kate's hand.

"Okay, Zo," said Kate with a shrug, even though she knew Zoey would most likely be using her hands after a few frustrating jabs at her stubborn breakfast items. While making her way over to the coffee machine, she peered over Castle's shoulder. "And what is that supposed to be?" she questioned, "A cat? I didn't know they had five legs."

"Hey, don't make fun of my masterpieces!" Castle exclaimed. "You're just jealous that I'm more of a creative genius than you are."

"Oh yeah, you got me there," Kate ribbed.

She had just settled down at the table with her coffee and the paper when Castle slid a plate in front of her. "This one's for you," he said, adding with a grin, "I decided to save the handcuffs for the bedroom."

Kate looked down and smiled, with just the tiniest shake of her head at his antics. There was definitely no ambiguity in his latest creation. Her breakfast was in the shape of a perfect heart.

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The school was chaos personified. It was a good thing there was a separate entrance for the preschoolers because there were enough anxious parents and crying children without a bunch of older kids milling around as well.

Much like her very first day at the precinct with Kate, Zoey clasped onto her hand with wide-eyes and stayed really shy and quiet. In order to increase her confidence, Castle and Kate had decided to let Zoey pick her own outfit; after much debate the night before, Zoey had chosen jeans and her favourite ladybug t-shirt.

The school had a policy about first days. Parents could only take their children as far as the threshold of their classroom, though, there wasn't a rule on how long they could stay out there.

"Here you go, Zo," Castle said, handing her the striped orange backpack. "What do you think? Are you ready?"

Zoey shifted a little on her feet.

"We won't leave until you're ready to go inside," Kate said.

The two of them watched as Zoey observed the other kids, noticing how a lot of them seemed to be crying. Surprisingly, Zoey didn't follow suit. It took a few minutes and many deep, uncertain breaths but she finally nodded.

"Okay," she said, quietly but surely, "I'm ready."

"Daddy will be back to pick you up at lunchtime," Kate said.

She and Castle each gave Zoey a hug and watched her walk through the classroom door.

"Castle, are you crying?" Kate said when they exited the school.

"No."

She didn't comment on his rapid blinking. "What are you doing for the next four hours?" she asked instead. When Castle didn't immediately reply, she turned and stared at him. "No. You are not thinking about sitting outside all morning."

"It's only three and a half hours!" he exclaimed.

"Nope. Not happening. Remember how I keep telling you that staring at me is creepy? Well, sitting in your car all morning outside of a school is right up there."

"What do you propose I do, then?" he said, crossing his arms.

"Come to the precinct with me." The answer flew out of Kate's mouth as if it was the only logical response.

"Really?"

"Sure. We have a case that I think even you would find weird."

Castle perked up. "Lead me to your murder board, detective."

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When Zoey entered her classroom, everything felt strange. There were desks arranged in groups of four and colourful posters everywhere and toys that were just a little bit different from her own.

"Hi there," said the teacher, kneeling down in front of Zoey. She was tall with braids in her hair. "I'm Miss Thomas, what's your name?"

"Zoey," she answered softly.

"Well, Zoey, welcome to your very first classroom. We're all sitting down on the magic carpet right now until everybody gets here. Why don't you go and find a spot."

Zoey nodded. There was none of the usual skip in her step as she walked towards the centre of the room. Only five other kids were sitting down and Zoey examined each one warily. She settled on sitting smack dab in the middle, between a girl with hair the colour of Alexis' and a boy who had very shiny white running shoes.

It took Miss Thomas's gentle guidance before any of them started to talk to each other and even then, they only said 'hi'. The boy next to Zoey looked like he wanted to say something else after his 'hello' so she kept peering over at him.

"I like ladybugs, too," he said finally.

"One time, my daddy and I got one," Zoey replied, glad that the boy was talking about something she really liked.

"Do you still have it?"

"No. I let it go. My daddy says they like the outside."

The boy nodded. Then, after a beat, said, "My name is Gabriel."

"I'm Zoey."

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Zoey was a completely different person when Castle picked her up at one o'clock. She practically bounced out the door to greet him. "Hi daddy!" she exclaimed.

"Hi Zo," he said with a wide – and relieved – smile. "So, did you have a good first day?"

"Yup, yup!" She held onto Castle's hand as they walked to the car. "Miss Thomas is nice and there are blocks here, too! And a lot of markers!"

"That sounds very cool," Castle replied.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm hungry now."

Castle was glad to see that Zoey's appetite had returned. She hadn't had a lot to eat at breakfast. "How about we go get sandwiches and bring them to mommy so we can all eat together and you can tell her about your day?" he asked, "I'm sure mommy will be very, very happy when you tell her all the things you told me."

"Okay!" Zoey replied. Castle noticed how every other sentence coming out of her mouth seemed to be in exclamations but all of this excitement was what he and Kate had hoped for. So, all the way to the deli and to the precinct, Castle listened to Zoey talk excitedly about her new school.

That night, Zoey had no problems falling asleep, completely exhausted from her eventful day.

A/N: Okay, so when I take a break from studying, I prefer writing feel-good fluff rather than drama & anxiety-inducing suspense (I get enough anxiety just thinking about my finals, yo) which is why you poor folks reading Eyes Open are now getting more creative with murder plots! Seriously though, last exam is on Monday. I promise to update Tuesday night (EST) at the latest!

Still, hope y'all enjoyed this latest instalment of Separation Anxiety, aka: the fluff monster...