Chapter 18:

Shock in the Afterglow

Castle was stunned. After finally making love to the woman of his dreams, he hadn't expected this. She had run from him again. Not far, he knew, but she'd still run. He didn't know what he had expected her to do exactly, but he had hoped that she would at least let him hold her afterwards. Now she was most assuredly in the bathroom, hiding from her emotions and the consequences of their actions.

He sighed, stretching and getting out of bed. Spotting his boxers, he put them on and proceeded to make his way toward the bathroom door. She had yet to make an appearance, nor make a sound. Raising a hand, he tentatively knocked on the door. Upon hearing no response, he tried again. This time, he could hear shuffling against the door as she scrambled to open the door.

Beckett had been lost in her own thoughts when Castle had started knocking. Her mind replayed what had happened between them almost as if it had been a dream. Her body was still deliciously sore from his attentions. The whole experience had been positively mindblowing, and that scared her. For the first time in her life, she finally knew what it was like to be completely and helplessly in love with someone. She had never dreamed that in a million years that Castle would incite such powerful feelings within her. Even though they had exchanged their mutual "I love you's", she had worried in the back of her brain that she was just saying it in the heat of the moment.

Shaking herself, she finally shifted off of the door and opened it to find Castle's concerned face peering down at her. Try as she might, she somehow couldn't meet his eyes. She was afraid that if she did, Castle would see how vulnerable she really was.

As if he sensed her true intent, he cupped her face and brought it up to meet his, thumbs lightly caressing the skin below her ear. She had to fight the rush of fire that his simple touches were giving her.

"Kate?" he asked softly, her name sounding like a gentle caress. He was trying so hard to get her to open up. He refused to allow her to shut him out. He leaned in to kiss her, but she wrenched herself out of his grasp so quickly and walked away. Out of frustration, Castle punched the wall, causing the pictures on it to rattle and sway precariously on their hangers.

Beckett grabbed her phone and clothes, dressing as quickly as she could before running out the back door to the beach. The moonlight greeted her, cloaking her in an almost comforting embrace. Picking up her phone, she quickly dialed her best friend.

"Hello?" Lanie answered groggily. "Kate? Are you okay? Did something happen?"

"I slept with Castle," Kate immediately began.

Complete silence followed, and Kate wondered if they had lost connection. After about thirty seconds, she heard her friend again.

"Wait. You did what now? Finally! How was he? How was it? Tell me everything!" Lanie exclaimed excitedly, her voice cracking with excitement.

"We were on the beach enjoying ourselves. He started teasing me, and before I knew it, we were back at the house and clothes were off. We didn't have sex right away. He concentrated more on my pleasure than he did his own. He didn't really let me focus on him at all during sex either. The whole experience was so indescribably good that I'm afraid it was a dream. After it was all over, I realized that I wanted to have him hold me. That scared me. I ended up bolting away from him and going to the beach. I'm still there, actually. I feel like I'm a coward. I just didn't know what to say to him. He was being so sweet and was so concerned about me. I never thought we'd be like this," Kate explained.

Lanie sat in silence, listening to her friend as she struggled through her explanation. Her heart broke for Kate as she heard the heartbreak in her voice.

"Do you regret it, then?" Lanie asked.

"Regret what? Being with Castle? No. I wouldn't change that for the world. I just wish that I could be as open and loving as he is. I wish I wouldn't have this incredible urge to run every time he gets close. I don't mean physically close, either. He wants to know the real me. I don't think I've ever let anyone in like that before. I've been completely comfortable putting up walls to prevent myself from falling for someone. I'm just so afraid that I'm going to get hurt. I know that this fear I have is irrational, and that we've discussed this before, but he really scares the hell out of me."

Lanie chuckled lightly before saying, "That's because you're in love, sweetie. You've never really allowed yourself to ever really let go with anyone. Hell, I wonder half the time what's going on in your head, and I'm supposedly your best friend. You've told him that you love him, and he's said it back. Everything should be a cake walk from here. I'm not saying that there won't be work involved in your relationship, but you've gotten a huge block out of the way. Admitting how you feel about the one you care the most about is truly half the battle."

"Thanks, Lanie. I guess I should go back inside and try to fix things between me and Castle. He's probably wondering where I am. It's kind of nice, you know? Having someone who worries about you, wondering where you are and who will come looking for you if you've been gone too long? I never thought I'd enjoy it. I always thought I'd be annoyed or something. I hope you have a good night and I will fill you in on more stuff later. I miss you."

"I miss you too, girl, but I'm glad you're enjoying yourself and getting your freak on with Writer Boy. It seriously took you long enough!"

Kate rolled her eyes before replying, "Oh, gee thanks," and quickly exchanging goodbyes.

After hanging up with Lanie, Kate turned and headed for home. She didn't even make it through the door before Castle met her there, enveloping her in a hug.

"I was so worried about you," he finally admitted when he finally let go of her moments later. "You ran off so quickly and without warning. I didn't know if I did something wrong. I didn't hurt you, did I?"

He watched, horrified, as a tear fell from her eye. Before he could even begin to comfort her, she smiled up at him.

"You didn't hurt me. If anything, you're the most gentle person I have ever known. I'm sorry that I ran out on you. What happened between us overwhelmed me a lot. You should know by now that I run when I feel too strongly about someone. I just have never felt a stronger connection with anyone but you. I wish I could rewind to before I freaked out so we could just bask in the afterglow of our lovemaking. I don't want to have any regrets when it comes to you."

His heart swelled, and he immediately gathered her up in his arms again and swung her around. He didn't care about anything else at that moment. Nothing else mattered except the woman in his arms. For the first time in his life, Richard Castle was completely content with the world.

"Well, if you want to snuggle," he said, waggling his eyebrows, "We still can. It may not be immediately after a lovemaking session, but it's better than nothing!"

She sighed contentedly from her place in his arms. At this point, he could suggest even the wildest activity, and she would have gone along with it just to be with him.

"You're on," she replied, giving him and wink. "Race you to the bedroom!"

With that, she dashed off, throwing clothes in every which way she could. It was almost like she was leaving a trail of them to follow. He wasn't about to question it. In his bed right now was a beautiful and gloriously naked woman that he loved and cared about so much. He followed suit, removing clothing as well. By the time he reached the bed, she was already underneath the covers. He joined her, pulling her close and inhaling the scent of cherries that he had come to adore so much.

Right then, he decided, there was no place he would rather be.

A/N: Wow! This chapter came out of nowehere. I know that everyone is still reeling from the last few chapters, but I felt that I needed some fluff in there as well. There will be more smutty goodness eventually, I promise. It's taking everything I have not to keep putting them into situations where they end up doing the horizontal mambo. Seriously, if the writers would take a hint from all of the fanfiction that's been written on this forum so far, everyone would be happier. Anyway, enough babbling. REVIEW!