When Kurt first sees the unassuming little booklet, he assumes it's Blaine's school planner or something (and honestly, that wouldn't be so surprising). It has Blaine's name pressed cleanly across the front and feels heavy and solid in his hand.

Kurt plans to ask Blaine when he gets back from whatever he'd needed to do downstairs when-

"Don't open that!"

Blaine's cheeks are flushed, eyes wide and panicked and nervous. "I mean, that's kind of personal."

Kurt puts the booklet down slowly, realization hitting that there's no way Blaine's that protective over a planner. He'd never pinned Blaine for the journaling type, but really, it shouldn't be all that surprising.

The silence stretches on.

"Did-" starts Blaine, and he swallows, looks down, blinks, "I mean, it's personal, but I want us to share stuff, you know? Did you want to…um...maybe read it?"

And now Kurt's eyes are widening, and an "are you sure? I don't want to make you uncomfortable, it's perfectly fine-" is spilling from his lips.

"Yeah," interrupts Blaine, "I want you to. Not here, though. Take it home with you?"

Kurt nods silently, and Blaine puts in the movie. Not much is watched, though, considering the fact that Kurt is thinking of what's in the journal and Blaine is trying not to think of what's in the journal.

…

I met a guy like me. Yes, he's gay, but I mean he's been through some of the same things I have. The same things and more, actually. He's been shoved and pushed around and bullied, and today I found out that he was sexually harassed by a closeted homosexual homophobic.

(Kurt's never seen it lain out so cleanly before, all of his experiences summed up in two sentences by this incredible, compassionate boy who'd barely even known him).

The thing is, I don't understand why it took a death threat (a death threat) to push him out of his old school. He stayed, and fought, and never once backed down from who he is. He's braver than me and he's stronger than me. I wish he knew just how amazing he is.

He skips over a few until he reaches an entry dated a month later, well after Kurt's transfer.

He's here. He's here, and he's in the Warblers, and he's still one of the strongest people I know. Yesterday I asked him a little bit about his past, if he wanted to share. He talked about locker shoves and dumpster dives and how his locker was defaced. He was joking around even during parts of it. I just don't get how he seems so unfazed by the awful things that have happened to him.

The next is after the Trainwreck Extravaganza, if the ridiculously expanisive, looping scrawl is any indicator.

I don't even know what to think anymore. I told Dad I had a date with a girl and I swear I've never seen him so proud of me. Kurt…I woke up in his bed and his dad was glaring at me but everything is still fuzzy and I'm trying not to think about him. He isn't taking this well. Honestly, I think Rachel's a cool girl, and we share a lot of interests. Do I like her in that way? Not yet. But will I take the chance if I have it? You bet.

(And Kurt's heart aches at this, because Blaine shouldn't be pushing down who he really is for his dad or for society or for anyone, ever.)

He flips a few pages until a script of some sort appears, lines heavily underlined and crossed out and arrows everywhere until it all spills over into chaos.

You move me.

Spend more time with you.

I've been looking for you forever.

(Kurt smiles at the page, then, memories filling him up and wow, he'd never have thought Blaine was such a nervous wreck the day before he's expressed his feelings for Kurt, but this evidence doesn't lie and he feels a rush of warmth for his boyfriend).

The latest entry is short, just a few lines.

I did it. I told Kurt I love him. And he said he loves me back. It's funny. I plan everything, even my speech before I told Kurt the way I felt back around Regionals. I mean, I was nervous as hell, but I was ready. Today, though, there was no planning at all. Just us. It was perfect.

And that's what it takes for Kurt to realize that even though it may not have been intended as such, this is a journal about Kurt, about the relationship between Kurt and Blaine, and about how they grew together.

Kurt knows Blaine changed his life, and for the better. But he never really thought about the part he himself played in Blaine's life.

It's refreshing.

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