12. Fragile

Severus did not mean to use Legilimency on Isadora, but suddenly he was swimming through her thoughts. He pushed past the images of Regulus Black, whose face seemed to constantly be in view, and came upon Zachary Starbuck, staring down his daughter, explaining to her how important her role in the Death Eater circle would be, and how much it meant to their family for her to join. Severus could see how terrified Isadora was at the prospect, how excitement mingled with fear and…yes, there it was, a distinct repulsion to the act of killing.

"Stop it," he heard Isadora whisper, and he pulled himself out of her thoughts, back to reality.

"Stop what, exactly?" he asked innocently, handing the map back to her.

She pulled her eyes away from him, focusing on the book now in front of her. "Forget it," she replied with a huff. She stared blankly at her textbook, completely unfocused on the task she had set herself. "I'm going to the library."

Severus did not protest as Isadora hastily stuffed her books and parchment back into her bag. He turned in his chair and watched her make her way across the common room, her robes billowing out behind her as she practically ran to the portal exiting into the corridors.

"What was that about?"

Severus grimaced when he turned back to the table to discover Regulus Black sitting across from him. Regulus' arms were crossed, and he was staring accusingly at his fellow Slytherin.

"Just a minor disagreement, Black," Severus answered as he began to pack up his own things. "And none of your concern," he added coolly when Regulus did not leave the table to follow Isadora.

A grin spread across Regulus' face. "I'm not here to fight with you, Snape," he said, handing Severus the remaining books on the table. "But she is my girlfriend, after all, so I think I'm allowed to worry."

Without responding, Severus swept away from the corner table and made his way for the dormitory stairs. The echo of shoes on the stone floors told him that he was not alone; he turned to see Black, still on his tail, looking slightly annoyed that he had been so quickly dismissed.

"Listen, Snape," the fifth year said pointedly, "I don't know what just happened, but she's going through a lot right now. Both of her parents are –"

"I am well aware of Starbuck's family problems," Severus cut in as he threw his bag onto the bed and stowed his wand up his sleeve. "I believe you know as well as I do that she is terrified of following in her father's footsteps, even though to do so is now the only choice she has left."

Regulus sighed and ran a hand through his shaggy brown hair. Severus noted with disdain that every day, the young boy in front of him grew to resemble his older brother more and more; perhaps not in allegiances, but certainly in looks. Severus could not understand why Regulus felt the need to protect Isadora from a future which Regulus had already chosen. Surely Isadora already knew of her boyfriend's deep interest in the Dark Arts, and what was more, the Dark Lord himself?

"Right, well, I guess I'm leaving," he heard Regulus say.

Severus nodded in reply as he began sorting through a rough wooden box which served as his personal apothecary. Glass jars were neatly arranged, each holding within a particular ingredient necessary for a vast array of complex potions he had taught himself to brew over the summer. He gazed at each of the jars fondly. He had quickly come to realize that the combination of his skill in the Dark Arts as well as his knack for potion-making was his ticket to leave, once and for all, the wretched life he was forced to return to at the end of every term.

He picked up the bottle of asphodel root and frowned: it was nearly empty. Luckily, Severus was on excellent terms with Professor Slughorn, and had been given the password to his private store room at the beginning of the school year. Not even Lily Evans could boast to that accomplishment.

Severus was ashamed to admit that he had still not gotten over Lily's decision to end their friendship. The very sight of her caused a wave of emotion to crash over him. While he did not outwardly show it, even to Isadora, inwardly he felt himself becoming more and more hardened against the very feelings which had brought him so close to Lily to begin with.

Jamming the glass bottle into his pocket, Severus hastily made his way through the common room and out into the damp dungeon corridor. Professor Slughorn's store room was down at the far end of the hall, nearer to the Potions classroom. As Severus passed the stairwell leading up to the entrance hall, he paused and listened to the voices echoing from above, sneering as he recognized the arrogant tones of one as James Potter. A fainter, calmer voice came afterwards, which could only belong to Remus Lupin. Severus found himself sneaking up the stairs, crouching as he neared the landing, to listen as James paced back and forth, clearly distraught.

"Tell me again what happened?" Lupin asked, trying to smooth out the creases in his robes. Severus noticed quite a few newly sewn stitches in the shoulders, where the robes must have torn when Lupin had last made his transformation.

James sighed, exasperated. "I was waiting outside the Transfiguration classroom. She was talking to Professor McGonagall, because she always talks to professors after classes," he started, continuing to pace up and down the hall. "When she finally came out, I said hello, very politely, and offered to carry her books to Charms for her."

Severus felt bile rise in his throat as he began to understand just who Potter was talking about.

"Very polite," Remus said, chuckling slightly. "And her reaction?"

"You'd have thought I dropped a Dungbomb right in front of her!" James cried. His wand, clutched in his hand, shot red sparks, echoing its owner's confusion. "She curled her nose and shoved right past me as if I wasn't even there!"

"Did you try saying anything to her?" Remus asked as he picked at the fraying edge of his sleeve. Severus could just see the hint of a smirk on the prefect's face.

"Of course! I had to run to catch up with her, mind you, but I asked her if she had noticed how nice I had been to the first years lately," Potter explained. "To which she said she had not, but she was 'glad to hear of it.' So I asked her if we could grab drinks at the Three Broomsticks next Hogsmeade trip."

He paused and looked towards the staircase leading up into the castle. Severus pressed himself against the wall as he heard distinct footsteps, and could only assume that Sirius Black was about to join his fellow Gryffindors in their pathetic therapy session.

"Now you're making Remus suffer through your sob story, James?" Sirius' voice called as he slid down the banister. "Honestly, this is just sad, mate."

Lupin's soft voice carried down as he pressed, "What did she say to Hogsmeade, then?"

James had stopped pacing and started at Remus, his face flushed with embarrassment as he muttered, "She said I still needed to grow up."

Sirius howled in laughter. Severus could not help but grin at the fact that, once again, James had been rejected.

"That's it?" Remus asked sympathetically.

"She kindly reminded me that I needed to make changes for myself, not to impress her," Potter said, so quietly that Severus had to strain his neck to hear.

"Well, she's right, you know," Remus admitted, crossing his arms defiantly.

Severus had heard all he needed to hear. He turned on his heel, a grin on his face, as he made his way back down the stairs. Suddenly, before reached the lower landing, he felt something sharp hit him square in the back of the head. When he whipped around, Sirius and James were racing down the stairs after him.

"Didn't your mummy ever teach you not to eavesdrop, Snivellus?" Black yelled, reaching for his wand.

Severus was faster, and in a flash held his wand directly at James' throat. "You two have no business being down here," he hissed, his eyes darting between his two enemies.

"We have just as much a right to be down here as you do!" Potter replied, his face red with anger.

"Really? I hadn't noticed either of you had made it as far as N.E.W.T-level Potions," Severus said simply, watching as the corner of Sirius' mouth twitched.

Remus finally appeared at the bottom of the stairs, though the look on his face told Severus that the werewolf was starting to get fed up with the constant fights his two friends kept choosing to pick with the Slytherin.

"What did you hear, Snape?" Sirius demanded, his hand inching slowly towards his pocket.

"Oi!" a familiar female voice called from the stairwell. Remus muttered a hello, which was promptly ignored as Isadora made her way down to the dungeons. When she noticed who else was involved, Severus noticed her eyes roll, as if she too was sick of the never-ending rivalry. "What the hell is going on down here?"

"Nothing that concerns you, Starbuck," James muttered without so much as a backward glance; his brown eyes were focused on Severus. "Now tell me, Snape, what did you hear?"

Severus laughed contemptuously as he lowered his wand to point at Potter's chest. "Enough to make my day, that's for damn sure."

He had taken his eyes off of Sirius for a second too long. Severus was suddenly on the ground, his left eye throbbing as Black pulled his fist away to wind up for a second attack. If it hadn't been for Remus pulling Black away, Severus would most likely have ended up with two bruised eyes. "That's enough, Sirius!" he heard the werewolf yell.

Severus was back on his feet, slightly dizzy, but his wand once again leveled at the group of Gryffindors. Before he had time to jinx them, Isadora's hand appeared, forcing Severus' arm down, his wand now pointed at the ground.

"You're a bloody useless prefect!" Isadora jeered as she gripped Severus' arm tightly. "Now get out of here before I find Professor Slughorn!"

Severus watched as Remus pushed James and Sirius back up the stairs. The werewolf gave Severus a sympathetic shrug and shook his head before following. Only when the echo of their footsteps had finally disappeared did Isadora release Severus' arm.

"Do you want to get expelled?" she hissed as she picked her bag up from the foot of the stairs. "Honestly, you need to get over whatever childish –"

"Did I ask for your opinion?" Severus barked, checking his pocket to make sure the glass bottle hadn't shattered. His eyebrow began to throb as a bruise began to form.

Isadora stared at him, obviously seething. "You're lucky I came back when I did, Sev," she said angrily. "Three against one isn't a fair fight."

Severus scoffed as he turned down the corridor towards the store room. "I could have taken them," he called as her footsteps indicated she was following him. He muttered the password to the storeroom as he came upon a dark wooden door; the lock clicked open for him.

"You're going to get yourself killed!" Isadora exclaimed.

Severus ignored her as he quickly found a large jar of asphodel and began helping himself to several of the root sprigs. When he turned around to exit, Isadora was standing mere inches from his face, her violet eyes mad with anger.

"We're about to enter the service of one of the darkest wizards this world has ever known," she whispered, "and you're acting all cocky about defending yourself! You wonder why I'm nervous about joining; it's because fools like you think you can take on a dozen Aurors single-handed! You can't!"

He didn't think he had ever seen Isadora this angry before. Her teeth were bared and her breathing was heavy, and she looked like she was ready to attack him at a moment's notice. Gently, he placed a hand on her shoulder and pushed her back, out of the storeroom, so the two of them were standing out in the corridor again. The door swung itself shut and magically sealed itself.

"Are you listening to me?" she demanded, swatting away his hand.

"Yes," Severus whispered as he stowed the now-full bottle in his pocket. "I appreciate your concern." He turned from her and began walking back to the common room.

"You appreciate my concern?" Isadora hissed as she caught up with him.

"What else do you want me to say?" Severus asked as they rounded a corner. "Thanks for swooping in and saving my ass?"

"Well…yes!" she sputtered.

Severus laughed as she muttered the password and stepped into the common room. Many students were getting ready to leave, some to class, others to the library.

"Look, Isadora," he said as he followed her to the head of the stairs leading to the girls' dormitory. "I appreciate you showing up when you did. Just…don't worry about me so much. You have enough on your plate as it is with your parents."

She glared at him, her arms crossed. "I'm just sick of you pulling dumb crap like that," she said quietly.

Severus wanted to demand to know whether she thought he enjoyed the constant sneak attacks that Potter and Black mounted against him, but he was sick of arguing with her. Instead, he muttered, "Me, too."

This answer seemed to satiate Isadora for the moment, and she began descending down to the dormitory. Severus turned to walk away when he heard her call, "Don't go to class without me!" He smirked and turned down the staircase to his own dorm, where his books and class materials were stowed.