Never Again, Again
Chapter 19
They had a peaceful year before Mike was called back out. Christine had been able to make sure their downstairs pantry was packed with food, the twins grew, Katie slowly healed, Hannah was just Hannah and Mike and Christine's marriage got stronger.
They slept next to each other each night and they talked a lot, but things were still not really fixed. Christine hated watching him leave again, and busied herself with the kids praying he'd be back soon.
The days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. People were terrified due to the lack of food. Christine kept quiet about her stockpile and fixed foods that could stretch, not knowing how long the famine would go on. Mike called every other day, but then suddenly he missed a call and she worried. Late one night; Russ Jeter called her, surprising even her.
"Christine?" Russ asked as soon as Christine answered the phone.
"Where's Mike? Why isn't he calling?" Christine questioned as dread filled her.
"Hey…he's okay. He was leading a ground operation when he got separated from the group and was stabbed…but we got him back and he's okay. Doc Rios fixed him up and said he's resting comfortably." Russ explained.
"Oh, thank God." Christine said.
"Yes, exactly. I just wanted you aware. I will have him call as soon as he is able." Russ said.
"Thank you, Russ. I appreciate it. Please tell him the kids and I love him." Christine answered before he hung up.
Sleep didn't come for Christine that night. Sure, she knew Mike was resting comfortably and that Russ would have told her if there was anything majorly wrong, but she was still worried. It just made her wonder because there had been a point that her marriage was over and now, she was terrified to lose Mike.
She knew she was going to figure out what was going on in her marriage. She knew Mike would stay in it, but they had to fix things when he got back, once and for all.
The girls were worried about Mike too once they woke up and she told him. Hannah in particular. There were times that she struggled with Christine due to Christine's initial resentment of her after Katie got sick. Christine had done her best to move past it, especially as Katie improved, but it crept up frequently and Hannah leaned on Mike pretty hard. Christine found her in her bedroom later that afternoon, looking out the window.
"I spoke with Captain Meylan. He said your dad is already back in his quarters and will call this evening if he can. I guess there's some bad weather where they are." Christine said.
"I miss Daddy." Hannah remarked.
"I know you do." Christine answered.
"Mom, what will happen to me if something happens to Daddy? I know you don't really want me anymore." Hannah asked.
"Hannah…I…don't feel that way anymore." Christine said as she squeezed the bridge of her nose. She wondered if they would ever be able to move past it.
"I'm not so sure of it." Hannah remarked as she looked back out the window.
"Hannah…I love you. I hope someday you understand that." Christine said.
"But, do you love me because you have to because I'm your daughter, or because you want to? Sometimes, I just feel like Daddy is the only one in this world who actually loves me or wants me." Hannah remarked. Christine stepped out of the room, not sure what else to say.
She stepped into her bedroom and smiled down at Mike's dresser. On it was a picture of her and Hannah, when Hannah was about a year old. She wondered at times why Mike kept the picture when there was so many newer ones. It just made her feel guilty that she had ever felt so negatively about Hannah. And she was spend the rest of her life paying for it and eventually it might destroy the relationship she did have with Hannah and probably even Mike.
Christine was beginning to wonder if it was even worth fighting for. Of course, she and Mike still had three other kids to worry about, but the pain with Hannah would always overshadow everything.