The stress of a complex surgery lasted only as long as the procedure itself. The stress that came with meeting the needs of an unwell baby lasted all day!

7.30pm and finally after a 14 hour battle, silence had descended on the firehouse.

10 week old Daniel had not been his usual self today. He had woken with a mild fever. He was fussy, clingy and extremely demanding. Cristina was exhausted. She had spent the whole day carrying, rocking, soothing, cajoling and comforting her little boy but to no avail. He had whined, screamed and whimpered until he had fallen in to short bursts of exhausted sleep.

The firehouse was a mess, with discarded toys, baby manuals and several changes of baby sick cover clothes, in both infant and adult size, strewn across the floor and furniture. The changing table that stood at the end of their bed was dusted in a thick coating of baby powder and slightly congealed antiseptic cream.

Cristina was also a casualty - her hair was messily escaping from the band holding her curls on top of her head, she had not had chance to change out of her pyjama bottoms and Owen's harvard T-shirt, about the 6th clean top she had sported during the course of the day she feared would never end, hung loosely over her tiny frame, the neck so much bigger than her own that it sat exposing one of her slender shoulders.

There had been other moments, other days since they had come back from the spontaneous visit to Owen at the conference in LA that Cristina had felt lonely and isolated. Owen and Derek had been getting interesting offers to give guest lectures and run skills labs for students in various hospitals across the country and had spent maybe 5 days out of the last month in their own homes in Seattle. Cristina missed her husband- she missed falling asleep in his arms, she missed him cooking for her, she missed waking up to the sound of his heartbeat, she missed chatting with him and she missed the hot, the oh so hot sex.

Being at home with Daniel all day, every day was also taking a toll on her. She craved adult conversation and she wanted a few hours to just be Cristina. Not a wife, not a mother just plain old Dr Yang. When she was changing Daniel's diapers she often caught herself visualising cardio procedure on his torso, her hands involuntarily moving in the sequences her muscle memory dictated. How many surgeries had she missed? How many times when she had washed her hands after changing or before feeding Daniel should she have been scrubbing in or out of the OR? She hated to admit it but she was actually a little bit jealous of Owen. He got to fly around the country and be lauded as a trauma god, be written about as the next rising star of emergency medicine while she was stuck in Seattle with a screaming baby and sick in her hair. His surgical world was expanding, containing more than he ever imagined and her surgical world was closed, a spot on the horizon she was desperate to start the journey back to.

When these thoughts crept in she reminded herself of Daniel and how much he needed her to function so he could thrive. She needed his home not to be a hostile environment for him. She did not discuss these feelings with Owen, she wanted the little time they had together over this period to be spent focused on each other. She just had to grit her teeth and get through it until Owen had finished this month of being away and was back home to support her like he had promised.

But it was different today. Today was the first day since their son had burst into their lives that she had questioned whether she could really do this. She had felt today that same crippling fear that had made her question herself in the beginning of the pregnancy. No matter what she had tried to help him it was not good enough for her precious little boy who deserved nothing short of excellent. Maybe she wasn't built for this job and her son was starting to realise it. Was her love of cutting, her need to be a surgeon her way of fighting against being a mother? Was she already teetering on the verge of failure? She worried deeply about what was going to happen when she went back to work. She wished with all her heart that being a mother could be enough for her but she knew it never would be. She loved her son, that was in no doubt- he had opened her up to new possibility and a depth of feeling she had kept shut off. If Owen removing her icicle, literally and figuratively, had unscrewed the lid of the jar in which she stored her feelings Daniel had totally shattered it. But how she felt about being a surgeon, the other love of her life that she had almost lost, well, quite simply, it was who she was. She had decided that they would have to seriously consider Owen's suggestion of taking some extended leave when she returned to work. She hoped that by going back to what she knew would help her find some more confidence around her parenting ability and knowing Owen would be at home with Daniel made her believe that their son would not be missing out on crucial parental support and attention.

Finally Daniel had taken a full feed and was sleeping deeply in his cot. Cristina flopped down onto the sofa and resolved to discuss this matter with Owen when he got in. Realising she had not eaten anything since breakfast, she picked up her phone from under a pile of newspapers and texted her husband an SOS.

Meanwhile at Seattle Grace Mercy West...

Owen shook Chief Webber's hand and held the door open for the older gentleman to leave his office. Owen stood still, staring at the closed door, trying to take in what he had just agreed too. His face broke into a huge grin, this was big news and there were only 2 people he wanted to share it with. His phone vibrated in his back pocket. Seeing his wife's name flash up on the screen next to the envelope made him even more excited.

Bring home pizza! Had horrible day! love

Feeling a stab of concern over what might be waiting for him at home, Owen quickly changed out of his scrubs, locked up his office and headed towards the parking lot to go grab his wife's favourite pizza-salami and artichoke- and get back to his favourite place that housed his favourite people.

Owen walked into the firehouse and set the pizza box down on the kitchen counter. He surveyed the carnage that had taken over his once tidy home and sighed. He was too tired to sort it out now, it would have to wait till later. He spied Cristina lying on her back on the couch, her hands over her eyes, and his mouth curled into delicate smile when he saw she was wearing his Harvard t shirt. He walked over and eased his body down on top of her's and planted a kiss on her bare shoulder exposed by the baggy neck of the shirt. Instinctively, Cristina draped her arms around the strong back and pulled the love of her life closer to her. She kissed his neck on greeting and wrapped her legs around his waist to ensure he wasn't going anywhere.

"How was your day?" Owen enquired, settling into a comfortable position lying on his side with his head on Cristina's chest and his wife's limbs still wrapped round him.

"Where do I start! It was terrible, just one thing after another. Daniel had a fever when he woke up and was fussy and clingy all day. There was a lot of crying and vomiting and he was kinda off his feeds." Cristina's tone was sad and tired. She sighed deeply. "It was a really hard day."

"I am so sorry you had a bad day with him. I am here now and will take over with him tonight, ok?" Owen stroked her arm as he spoke.

"Ok." Cristina replied. She sensed now was not the moment to broach the subject of leave so she changed the subject. "Now where is this pizza? I'm starving." she began to move her body put from under her husband and he jumped off the couch and pulled her too her feet. He kissed her forehead before taking her hand and leading her into the kitchen.

When they reached the kitchen, neither Cristina or Owen noticed their spouse take a steadying breath before they opened their mouths to speak the words they could no longer keep inside- one of them due to feelings of unbidden excitement the other due to feelings of utter exhaustion and defeat.

"Richard just asked me to take over as interim Chief of surgery."

"Listen, I think you need to take that period of extended leave."

Owen had his head in the refrigerator, looking for 2 bottles of soda and Cristina was slightly distracted by prizing open the pizza box. A waft of hot steam hit her in the face as she peeled back the lid, at the same moment the couple spoke their news simultaneously, each one picking up that what the other was saying was somehow at odds with their own words. Looking at each other for clarification, Owen nodded for Cristina to repeat herself.

"I think, as you suggested, you need to take a period of extended leave to be with Daniel." Once she had finished she gestured for her husband to remake his point.

"Richard just asked me to take over as interim Chief of Surgery." Owen's excitement at sharing his news had dissipated. He knew what was coming as soon as he had heard Cristina's request about taking leave. He genuinely thought she hadn't wanted him too as they had not discussed it since he initially made the offer. They had agreed Daniel would start in daycare when Cristina resumed her spot in the residency programme and they would sort out the details as they went along. He presumed becoming Chief would just be another thing to throw into the mix of juggling career and family.

"You said no to that right? You have to say no that." Cristina asked the question and made the statement desperately as she searched his face for an answer, the feelings of hunger she had felt moments earlier replaced by a knot in her stomach that was sucking the air out of her lungs.

"I accepted the job". Owen looked down at the floor. He was being a coward in this moment, he did not dare meet his wife's eyes, he could already feel the temperature in the firehouse creeping up towards boiling point.

Silence.

"You did what?" she knew her son was sleeping but she could not control the volume of her voice as she sought clarification on what she had just been told.

"I accepted Richard's offer. I am the new interim Chief of surgery from Monday morning". Owen was trying to stifle his pride and excitement as he could sense his wife needed time to process this development.

"And when were you going to talk to me about this decision? You remember me right? your wife, the mother of your child!" Cristina was livid. "The person who you kicked out of the house for making a decision affecting both of us alone!"

Owen rolled his eyes, "This is not the same and you know it! No one's life is on the line here. It is a job, a title that is all!" he rubbed at his chest in an attempt to calm himself down. He did not want to argue over this, he really didn't understand why it looked as though a full blown showdown was about to ensue between him and the woman he loved.

The life on the line comment stung Cristina and her thoughts immediately turned to the baby sleeping in the next room. He was the innocent party here, they had to work this all out for his sake. Just calm down and talk to your husband. Just talk Cristina!

"Why is Chief Webber stepping aside?" lowering her voice, Cristina sat down at the dining room table and motioned for Owen to join her. He sat opposite her and placed his hands purposefully on the table top.

He looked into her eyes and considering his tone, spoke conversationally. "Richard wants to spend whatever time he has left with his wife, actually with his wife. I think that says a lot of how much he values his marriage."

Now it was Cristina's turn to roll her eyes. If she wasn't so angry she would think her husband was adorable for being so out of the loop on the personal lives of the people they worked so closely with for large portions of their lives. "Oh really. Let me tell you a few things about your hero, Richard Webber and his marriage".

"You don't know anything about his marriage. It is none of our business". It was a hospital wide known fact that Owen Hunt hated gossip and speculation and was never party to it. He really did not want to engage in this discussion now.

"Ok let's see, what I do know is Richard had an affair for years with Ellis Grey, Meredith's mom. I do know he is the reason why Thatcher left and probably why he is an alcoholic, who needed part of meredith's liver when he drank away his own. Ellis loved Richard till the day she died, she never got over him not choosing her over his own he wasn't interested in spending time with Adele then, was he?" Cristina's voice dripped with venom as she recalled a painful part of her other person's past. She had nothing against the Chief, he was a great leader and a hell of a surgeon but as a man not so totally deserving of the pedestal Owen had placed him so high up on. She understood that the military respected rank but to her respect was earned through actions as well as titles.

"Richard's private life has nothing to with me being the Chief! His alleged affair is nothing to do with us. He is an amazing physician!" Owen was not happy with the character assignation of his boss that he was being forced to engage in. He got up from the table and walked towards the living room.

Cristina was not letting this lie. She jumped up and stalked after him. She jabbed him in the back forcing him to spin around and shouted directly at him, waving her arms to further emphasise how annoyed he was making her.

"So as long as someone is good with a scalpel you are now you are an advocate for cheating? Do I have to be worried about you following exactly the same path? April Kepner has always had a thing for you so go deflower her and you see if I wait on the sidelines like Adele Webber for 30 years!"

"Don't be ridiculous! I would never cheat on you. I love you!" The sentence started as a dismissive retort but the 3 words he had always felt for this fierce but tiny woman came out as a tender declaration. Owen opened his arms and stepped forward, inviting his love to step into her familiar place.

"Obviously not enough!" Cristina scoffed as she stepped back increasing the distance between them

"What do you want from me here? Because frankly I thought you, my wife, would be pleased for me! How stupid of me!" Owen was being deliberately sarcastic, he wanted to get to the heart of what this was about quickly. He was tired and this was not how he had envisaged spending the evening.

"I want you to NOT be the Chief of surgery!" Cristina wailed. He just did not get it!

"So what you're jealous? You think you are the only one with ambition? The only one who has surgical skills that other people recognise?" Owen's low boom took Cristina by surprise. She stopped for a moment to fully consider what he had said. She was jealous but her reason for not wanting him not being chief was about Daniel, she reminded herself.

"No, it's not about that. I know you are a great surgeon even if it is in a less prestigious specialty!" She could not deny Owen's skills but she could not resist the dig about his specialty.

"I'm sorry?" Owen was immediately defensive, he was proud of what he did. He knew trauma was not pretty but it mattered. Bottom line, his quick skills and throw everything at it approach saved lives.

"Cardio is about skill and finesse. Trauma is more like Halloween at the butchers shop" Cristina spat at him.

Her dismissive attitude to his life's work pressed all his buttons and he exploded.

"Trauma surgery is about saving lives! Not letting over inflated egos get in the way of what is best for the patient! I am not the one chasing after Harper Avery's!"

"How dare you! I am a doctor I took an oath to save lives. I just am able to do it without leaving my patients looking like the brides of Frankenstein!" the exchange was becoming more heated as the couple traded shots aimed at hitting the other exactly where it would hurt the most.

"Trauma is a team sport , you do what you can where you can. I have saved people under fire but I guess that is meaningless to you!"

"You couldn't save George O'Malley though could you! Where was all your battlefield skill then!" She was goading him. She knew that one was below the belt but she was so hurt by his inability to see what she needed from her husband that she wanted to hurt him.

"That is not fair. I did everything I could to..." Owen's trailed off. That had stung. He had liked George very much. He had seen in him great potential and a true heart, perfectly designed for valour. He had fought so hard for him, harder than he had with any other patient.

"Well you have it all now don't you! The wife, the heir and now the hospital!". Cristina, desperate to move away from the image of George's face lying on the ICU, unrecognisable except for the kind green eyes, that was looming on front of her, jabbed her finger in her husband's face.

"yes I do! But why are you so pissed about it?" Owen gripped her wrist to try and slow her down, to make her focus on talking to him instead of screaming and partly to stop her poking his eye out.

"Cristina, I will take some leave, 6 months or a year. I will be the stay at home parent while you go be a surgeon. No scratch that Cristina I am going to work even more hours than I do already and leave you to raise a baby alone." She mimicked his voice in a patronising way as she fired the words back at him. Tears gathered on the corners of her eyes and she fought to hold them back. She would not give him the satisfaction.

"We can work this out! This won't affect our family or your career, I promise. Anyway it is only temporary!"

"Don't make promises you know you can't keep." she warned.

"You tell me then, Cristina. What do you want me to do? Talk to me!" Owen's question was just that. He was questioning why his own wife could not be happy for him, for them. This would benefit all of them financially. What was he missing? What was she not telling him? He thought they had got past the communication misfires that had plagued their early relationship but maybe not. What was she not telling him?

"Do what you have to do, Chief." she fixed him with a steely glare and almost choked as she addressed him by the term that from Monday everyone in his professional life would adopt towards him.

Cristina turned away from her husband, stamped down the stairs and walked out of the firehouse, not knowing where she was going. The tears she had been holding back started to tumble down her cheeks and she gave in, her body shaking from tears and the cold of the Seattle night against just the t- shirt and pyjama bottoms she had left in. Her sock covered feet just started to walk and kept on walking until she reached the front door of the low lying bungalow. She was 6 miles away from her husband and son but it felt as though they were standing on opposite sides of the world. She knocked on the door and waited for it to be opened by the owner of the house.

"Cristina?" the female voice enquired. "is everything ok?"

"No I don't think it is! I didn't know where else to go!" Cristina was still crying, not sure what any of this meant.

"Come here, come in." The sparkling blue eyes of the house's owner, opened the door wider and ushered her in.

"Thank you Mrs Hunt." Cristina smiled wearily at her mother-in-law as she stepped into the warmth of the bungalow and was greeted by the familiar, comforting smell of her husband.

Back at the firehouse, Owen stood rooted to the spot, staring at the stairs that had carried his wife away from their home. His happy news had turned sour and he was still utterly confused at Cristina's reaction. There had to be more too it, this couldn't just be about him being asked to take over a job temporarily. His wife was in pain and he couldn't reach her. He was scared, the last time she was hurt was after the shooting and it had nearly destroyed her. He had to fix this and he had to do it quickly, their son needed his mother and he needed his wife. He did not function well without her, he never had since the day he had met and fell in love with her. Daniel's cry shook Owen out of his trance and he walked into the bedroom. Reaching down to lift his mewling son into his arms, he looked into the tiny brown eyes identical to his mother's and felt a stab of pain through his heart. "It's ok buddy." He began to rock his son gently from side to side and kissed his soft black hair. "I know, you want your mummy...I do too." He sat down on the bed and hugged his boy tightly to his chest. "I do too."

That night 2 people slept alone, wishing they were together. One of them turning over in his head ways he could make this work so both of them were happy. The other thinking of how to tell her husband how being a mother was testing her to her limits and that she truthfully did not know how to do it anymore.

Their son, well he knew his mother was not near him. He could not smell her skin or the scent of her coconut conditioner. He could tell his father was sad, his heartbeat was a little slower than normal. Daniel had felt it when he had been holding him to his chest earlier. Daniel was not sure what a broken heart was but he did know that the beats of his own heart were missing the steady rhythm of the 2 people who loved him and each other so deeply. He knew it didn't feel right, he knew that it hurt and he knew that they would repair it. Mummy and Daddy had to repair it, they had to fix it.