0o0
Alec felt as if cement had been dumped into his lugs, making his chest heavy and breathing nearly impossible. He just stood there, frozen in place, and though there were times he had dreamt about this moment, he wasn't anywhere near ready for it. Three whole years and he still had no idea what to say. In his mind, he would tell Magnus off, let it all out, and Magnus would beg for an apology which Alec would only give if his reasons were good enough for what he did. But, in all those scenarios (and there were a lot) he could never find a reason for Magnus to break up with him. Everything had been fine in Alec's opinion, and then suddenly, it wasn't. That was the worst part, how sudden it was, Alec wasn't prepared at all for the devastating blow to his heart and mind.
Not knowing what to say, Alec resorted to his earlier tactic, yanking his hand from Magnus's and trying to edge around the lanky warlock. Magnus, however, had other plans. He placed both of his hands firmly on the Shadowhunter's shoulders holding him in place, similar to what Isabelle had done earlier.
"I have somewhere to go, so please let me do my job, warlock." Alec ground out the last word, reminding himself a bit of Nick.
He had stared at his feet as he spoke; knowing looking Magnus in the eye would cause him to waver. Magnus always had that effect on him.
"Alexander, I just wanted to speak with you for a moment."
"It's Alec, and no. I have Shadowhunter business to attend to." Alec had looked up now, but was still avoiding eye contact.
Magnus smirked, not believing him. Alec wanted to hit him, how dare he smirk at him after what he did.
"You all use the window here in order to do whatever this mysterious Shadowhunter business is? Is the door to simple for the super Shadowhunters here?"
Alec glared, and Magnus's smirk dissipated, he was straight faced now.
"Of course not," Alec replied. He was still a terrible liar, but to his own surprise he had a semi decent answer for this.
"But I knew my siblings would want to come along with me on this, and I can't have that. So, I went out the window to avoid the argument."
Magnus nodded, not believing him. Alec once again tried to maneuver past him, but Magnus kept a strong grip on his shoulders. Alec narrowed his eyes, "What do you want Magnus? I do have business to attend to."
"I just wanted to talk to you. I figured it would be best without everyone around."
Alec so desperately wanted to say yes. He had been so angry this whole day, and he still was, but he had been confused much longer. He had wanted answers for much longer, answers only Magnus could give.
"Alec?" A voice interrupted, and it made Alec's decision easy.
Jasper rounded the corner to where Alec and Magnus stood, his eyes narrowed as he saw the warlock.
"Are you alright?" He asked, concern rippling through his voice.
Alec glanced past Magnus, giving Jasper a reassuring half-smile.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I'll meet you in a second."
Jasper nodded, giving the warlock one more glance before walking and leaning against the institute, patiently waiting on Alec.
"It's a bit late for that Magnus. If you, Izzy, Jace, or anybody else has something to tell me it can happen at the next meeting. After all that's how I found out everything just now."
Magnus's hands dropped to his sides and Alec saw his chance and took it, walking towards Jasper, who despite his best efforts to be coy, was obviously eavesdropping.
"It's not just about that." Magnus replied, his voice soft like he knew Jasper was listening and only wanted Alec to hear.
Alec turned, and even though his heart was begging him to stay, to talk to Magnus, to find some answers, he shook his head.
"Three years too late for that."
Magnus's shoulders drooped, and there was a thinly veiled pain in his eyes.
"I'm not going to give up on you." Magnus replied,
Alec shrugged, not giving an answer because he knew if he stuck around too long he would be listening to every word he said, because that was what he had wanted to do for so long. Alec strode past Jasper, not stopping for him. Jasper did his best to keep up, jogging at first to catch up to him.
"Alec, are you sure you're alright?"
"I'm fine." Alec snapped, still walking fast.
"Sorry." Jasper replied, and this made Alec feel bad, Jasper had really gone out on a limb for him today.
He slowed down a bit, making it easier for Jasper to walk beside him.
"Don't be, it's me who should be sorry. It's just-"
"No, I understand, a lot happened today."
"So, um, what did he want?" Jasper asked nervously, jerking his thumb towards Magnus, who was still standing where they had left him.
Alec shrugged, not wanting to talk about it.
Jasper nudged on, "He looked like he really wanted to talk to you."
Alec wanted to snap at Jasper, but he just couldn't bring himself to anymore. That's all he had been doing all day, to Izzy and Magnus, he wasn't that guy. No matter how hard he tried.
"He did, but I said no."
Jasper nodded, gnawing his lip and they rounded a corner, Magnus now completely out of sight.
"Are you going to?"
Alec jerked his head up, not sure what Jasper was getting at.
"I'm not sure, honestly."
"It's just, maybe if you did, it would help you. You know, give you closure?"
Alec glanced up at Jasper, not quite sure what he was getting at. Shouldn't he be jealous or something, and not want Alec to talk to Magnus at all? Or maybe Jasper was just that good of a guy.
Jasper seemed to realize Alec's confusion, "It's just, well, you have been really . . . stressed lately and I think if you did talk to him, get things figured out, maybe that would, I don't know help you out some. You know?"
Alec took the words in a bit, thinking about them, wondering what the outcome of said talk would be.
"Or it could just make things worse?"
Jasper looked down, "Do you really think they would? Or that you would just find something out that you don't want to?"
Alec blinked, once again stumped. "That could be part of it, I guess- there's more to it than you know though."
Jasper nodded understandingly, "I figured as much, but the way things are now . . . can it really get much worse?"
Alec thought a moment, he thought of the restless nights, the thoughts that tore at his very being, how angry he had become, and his own sister recoiling from him . . . no it couldn't get much worse.
They soon arrived at a rather secluded park; it had been rundown with mundane criminal activity so it was usually avoided. To Alec, however, it was perfect, there was no one there to judge him, hurt him, try and force him to talk. Well, there was Jasper, but if Alec got his way they wouldn't be doing much talking, hell maybe no talking at all. He had his share of talking and listening today.
"So do you want to" Jasper began, his words being cut off as Alec crushed their lips together, pushing Jasper against a tree. A low moan escaped Jasper's mouth and Alec smiled to himself, happy that Jasper wasn't forcing the issue. However, his excitement was too soon, as Jasper gently pushed him away.
"Alec, you can't do this every time you don't want to talk about something." Jasper whispered, his voice strained like he didn't want to be saying this.
"It's not every time, and besides this is a lot more fun," Alec reasoned, going in for the kiss again only to be stopped this time.
He sighed, "Jasper, I don't do this every time, and besides didn't you say earlier I had done enough talking?" Alec retorted, eyes narrowed and he was standing back defensively.
"Yes, you do, the only time we talk it's about me, and when it's about you then you just shut down and avoid everything. You can't that Alec; it's not good for you."
Alec sighed, groaning and tilting his head back in annoyance, "Jasper, I get what you're trying to do, and I'm grateful, but not today. I'm not in the mood for it, now can we just get back to what we were doing?"
"That's all we ever do, what's wrong with talking?"
Alec just glared, he didn't want to say anything mean or cruel, but damn Jasper was making it hard. Why wouldn't he just let this go?
"I mean," Jasper continued, thinking that's what Alec's silence implied, "I've opened up to you about everything, and I do mean everything. You know about me more than Maria, and she's my parabatai."
Jasper's words had Alec once again flashing back, particularly to conversation with Magnus about this exact subject. About how Alec would tell Magnus everything about himself, and Magnus was still so mysterious and closed off to him. Magnus would just laugh and so the most important thing about him was here and now (meaning Alec) and Alec had foolishly believed him.
Now, he thought that that was just a clever line Magnus delivered, because he was as closed off to Alec as Alec was to Jasper. And Alec knew why now, he was to Magnus what Jasper was to him. He cared about Jasper well enough, more so than anyone at the institute and sure he liked the guy, but the intense love he had for Magnus certainly wasn't there. That crushed Alec, to be the one who cared and loved more, especially up until their break up he had thought he and Magnus were at least on equal ground in that department. Alec couldn't hear Magnus say that to him though, not again, he couldn't hear that they just weren't right, because to Alec they were perfect.
Alec spun on his heel, unable to speak now at all. He stormed off, knowing Jasper would take it personally but unable to tell him it wasn't about him at all.
"Alec!" Jasper called after him.
Alec trudged on, for the second time that day ignoring the desperate calls of his name.
"Alec, wait!" Jasper called, his breath ragged and Alec knew without looking that Jasper was running after him. He also knew that sooner or later Jasper would catch up. He turned to let Jasper do so, his eyes narrowed.
"I'm sorry."
"I'm not mad at you, but I don't want to talk. If you don't want to do anything fine, but I need to get my mind off things, so I'm going somewhere to do just that. Come with me, or don't, I don't care either way." Alec declared, his voice was emotionless and hard.
Jasper nodded, hands in his pockets, "I'll go with you."
Alec shrugged, and turned to walk again.
"So where are we going, if you don't mind me asking?" Jasper asked carefully.
"A bar I know of." Alec replied.
"Alec, it's the afternoon, what bar could possibly be open?"
"I know of a place, and once again you don't have to come."
"No, I want to, I was just confused."
There was a few moments of silence once again, silence that Alec wanted and didn't want at the same time. If there was silence, then Jasper wasn't forcing answers out of him, but in that silence Alec also had no other choice than to think. He quickly picked up the pace, Jasper doing the same obediently.
They soon arrive to a somewhat average looking neighborhood, at least to a mundane. If you were a Shadowhunter, particularly a local one, you would know this neighborhood was wrought with werewolves. Jasper slowed a bit, giving Alec a confused look as they approached one of the homes. Alec, not wanting to have his only other escape ruined, gave him a warning look.
"Just play it cool, they're actually all pretty nice." Alec whispered as he knocked on the door.
A were unfamiliar (which isn't surprising, there are almost always new werewolves joining the pack) to Alec opens the door, he was a bit smaller than most werewolves, and had unruly blonde hair that reminded him a bit of Jace.
"What do you want hunters," the boy challenged, obviously familiar with the harsh relations between downworlders and Shadowhunters.
Alec, unfazed by the rude greeting, simply smirked. "We want entrance into the bar, otherwise the Clave will be informed of the three vampires unlawfully killed last week."
"There were no vampires killed last week, and we have had no such violations of the law."
Alec chuckled, "That's not what the Clave will think, and who do you think they will believe: two reliable hunters, or a group of downworlders?"
The boy's mouth dropped, and next to him even Jasper was unable to contain his shock. A low chuckle was heard from behind the werewolf boy and a larger man appeared behind him.
"Let 'em in David, he's just bluffing."
Alec smiled at the larger were, as the smaller one looked back and forth at them in confusion.
"Alec here is an old friend of the Garroway pack, and he'd do no such things. He's different from the rest of them."
Alec smiled victoriously as the boy stepped aside allowing them entrance. The larger werewolf, who Alec knew as Dan, clapped a hand on his back, barely paying any attention to Jasper who was walking cautiously behind him.
Dan and his pack, a lot smaller a year and a half ago, had been in some trouble with a group of demons. They had been attacked from behind, and were all likely going to die if they hadn't been helped. Alec was quick to jump in and save them, killing the demons easily with his bow and arrows. They had been so shocked by the help of a Shadowhunter that they offered Alec a place to stay or drink anytime, as they owned a lot of bars and small apartments in the area. Alec preferred this bar, because it was technically still a house and only open to the werewolves, their friend and mates, and Alec.
"I doubt this is a social call, you got the look in your eye. What can I do for you?" Dan asks.
Alec laughs, "I was hoping to stop by for a drink or two, a lot's been happening at the institute."
Dan nodded, understandingly, "You know where to go then."
Alec smiled and tugged Jasper along with him, Dan and David going in one direction, while Alec guided himself and Jasper downstairs to a low lit basement. It was decorated to remind one of a biker bar. There were pool tables, smoke everywhere, dimmed lights and bar against the far wall, which Alec made a beeline for.
"Alec," Jasper whispered, "are you sure about this? How do you know these people?"
Alec rolled his eyes, "Dan is a friend of an old friend, and I helped him out once. He feels oddly indebted or something, I'm not sure why I was just doing my job, but it works out."
They took a seat, the bartended seemed to do a double take when seeing Jasper, but once his eyes rested on Alec he just gave a half smile and asked what they wanted to drink, Jasper got a water and Alec asked for a jack and coke. Only Jasper found this behavior weird.
The bartended went and prepared their drinks and Jasper leaned in and whispered once again, "So, they're okay with this? I mean you're a Shadowhunter and they're . . . downworlders."
If anyone else had asked that, Alec would be sure they were just being bigoted, but with Jasper, Alec knew that wasn't the case. Jasper was simply pointing out the general prejudice, it was undeniable, and while some places (like New York) were better about it than others (here) it was still there. It was actually this particular institute that was worst about it, as Mark ran the institute here and had trained a good bit of hunters in the area. Downworlders knew this and reacted just as prejudice as the hunters did, fighting fire with fire.
Before meeting Clary and all the people he met subsequently after, Alec was probably just as prejudiced. After the battle and bonding runes, though, everything changed. Most of these changes were seen in Idris and New York, as they were the head of the movement, but there was more to it than that. Alec didn't see just blood thirsty vampires, he saw geeky Simon, his baby sister's boyfriend. Instead of seeing beefy meat head werewolves, he saw kind and intelligent Luke. Instead of seeing power mad, insane warlocks, Alec saw Magnus and even though the thought of the warlock hurt Alec beyond words, he could never be cruel to someone who reminded him of the warlock so much- it was like actually hurting Magnus, which Alec could never bring himself to do.
"They are well aware of what I am Jasper, the marks everywhere tends to give it away, but they're nice to me as I'm nice to them. It's quite simple really."
Jasper looked a bit ashamed, "I didn't mean like that. I have no problem with downworlders, and you know that as long as they follow the law. I just meant . . . nevermind."
There was a flash of something in Jasper's eyes, a bit of sadness, and Alec felt bad once again. Then, he remembered, Jasper's father had been killed by a werewolf when Jasper was just a kid.
"I'm so sorry Jasper, I wasn't even thinking," Alec stammered, taking a big gulp of his drink as the bartender set it down, "do you want to leave? I'll find somewhere else to go."
Jasper shook his head, a small laugh escaping his lips.
"I promise it's not that Alec, despite how I was raised and I am smart enough to know that what one werewolf did does not mean they all are murderous maniacs."
Alec stared at the boy, signaling for another drink as he did so, he sometimes wondered how Jasper grew up here, as he was different from the rest, no prejudiced bone in his body. There was no anger, guilt, or sadness in him, he was good and happy, and Alec didn't want to ruin that, the way he had been ruined.
"You're too good for me." Alec whispered into his drink, so only Jasper heard.
Jasper shook his head, slowly, "Don't say that."
Alec shrugged, sipping on his drink, "It's the truth. You're one of the kindest people I've ever met."
"You're good too Alec, you are. You wouldn't be able to hang out in this bar if you were like everyone else in the institute, and you clearly mean a lot to your family and friends, they were watching you like hawks during the entire meeting."
"I know they do, but it's not like it used to be, and I'm not good, New York is just different."
Jasper didn't accept his answer, but knew there was no point in arguing.
"So, they don't find it odd that you're here, on your second drink already and it's not even 5 'o clock yet."
"Not really, they always just say 'it's five o'clock somewhere' and move on. Besides, they have an incredibly high tolerance."
Jasper chuckled, amused with Alec's lack of knowledge of pop culture.
"You know they didn't make that expression up, right?"
"Oh, hmm," Alec replied, sounding unbothered, though that wasn't true, he had thought that was quite creative of them actually.
"So is this all you do here? Just sit and drink?" Jasper asked, sounding critical but Alec knew it was just worry.
"Usually, sometimes I talk with them or play pool if they need another player," he grimaced, "I'm not too good at it though, but I mostly just do this. I like the solitude and they let me have it."
Hint you should stop talking and let me have it as well. The last thing I want to do now is talk about me, my family, friends, or Magnus. It's all too painful right now.
Jasper took the hint, and leaned back, sipping his water, watching Alec cautiously out of the corner of his eye but saying nothing else.
0o0
It was a good five hours later, when Alec finally slowed down his drinking. During that time they had played pool, had a few interesting conversation, and Jasper had eventually warned up to the pack. There were even a few moments (very few) in which his entire attention wasn't on Alec. Alec had spent most of his time just enjoying the solitude and the warm feeling that seemed to wash over him with each sip of his drink.
Suddenly Jasper rushed over to him, really ruining the calmness that he had been feeling for the past couple of hours. However, with the singed piece of paper in hand, Alec suddenly snapped to attention.
"Alec we have to go no and now," Jasper exclaimed, his movements nervous and he ran a hand through his hair.
Alec nodded, and slowly got up, he knew the urgency but was so calmed by the alcohol that he couldn't move near as fast as he knew he should be. Jasper was shuffling impatiently next to him, motioning for him to hurry, Alec just ignored him and moved at his own pace lest he stumbled and fall.
"What's it say?" Alec asked, as he grabbed his coat and they headed up the stairs.
"We missed the meeting, they're so pissed, I can tell by the way Maria wrote, her hand is all messy and she left indentions in the paper she was pressing down so hard writing it."
Alec shrugged, he liked Maria well enough but it wasn't the hardest thing in the world to upset her, she had a short fuse. Maybe it was different for Jasper though, he cared too much what others thought, there was a time when Alec could relate.
"-else you'll be facing the consequences of the clave." A voice threatened, causing Jasper to nearly stop dead in his tracks and Alec to run into him.
"Maria's here," Jasper whispered his voice low and nervous.
Alec just shrugged into his coat and walked on, Jasper slowly following.
"Why does this keep happening to me today?" The boy who Dan had called David from earlier wondered aloud, "Listen, we are in no violation of the law and you can't just threaten us with the Clave every time you need entrance into a place. I'm sure it's a violation of the Accords."
"So they are here?" Maria asked, sounding victorious.
"What?" David asked, sounding dumbfounded.
Maria ignored this and as Alec approached with Jasper at his side he saw the girl leaning sideways, trying to look past the werewolf
"Jasper Grayer, by the Angel you better get out here now! Do you know what I've had to do to cover your asses today?"
Alec rolled his eyes, and nudged his way through the doorway, David and Maria. She snapped something at him indignantly but her attention was on Jasper, not him. He overheard there hushed whispers as he was walking away and Maria was asking where he they had been all day while Jasper was asking how she had found them.
"Your phone stupid, I had it tracked. We couldn't get ahold of either of you and with the strange things happening lately we were worried. What in hell are you doing in werewolf's den anyway? They could have eaten the two of you alive!"
"Alec knew them, and he was having a hard time so I tagged along."
There was a strained silence and Alec was sure that Maria was piecing everything together during it. If she had figured it out though, she didn't get the chance to say anything.
"ALEC! LOOK OUT!" Jasper shrieked his voice filled with terror.
Alec whirled around at the sound of his name, as a Drevak demon leapt on him; he didn't even have the time before to grab for a weapon before the demon sunk its poisonous spines into his neck. He screamed in pain, he knew poison of a Drevak demon worked fast and he could just feel the burning in his veins. He heard Maria scream, Jasper call his name and the sound of their boots running to him, he heard the growls of the werewolves; Alec felt the blood bubbling from his mouth, as his body attempted to rid itself of the poison, he felt sweaty hands on his face, and then everything went black.
0o0
So, I hope I got the demon right. I saw on the Wiki that this demon has spines not teeth in its mouth that are very poisonous and painful and their bites should be dealt with by a warlock, meaning there will be Magnus/Alec interaction next chapter that Alec can't run away from
I won't be able to post much until Monday at the earliest because I'm going out of town, but here is a snippet of what's to come:
"Ha, even in death I dream about you. How pathetic am I?"