Despite all our hopes, the chemotherapy didn't really do much to treat my retinoblastoma. As it turned out, I was right all along; all it did was stabilize my tumor. Once I was taken off the chemotherapy as part of Earl's plan, the tumor stopped shrinking and started to grow again. By Thanksgiving, my retinal detachment became so severe that I went blind in my right eye completely. By Christmas, my vision was little better than 20/100. It was at that point that my parents became desperate for money to cover the surgery to remove my right eye.
So on New Year's Day 1991, it was decided that I would be touring across the country in order to get the money I needed for an eight-hour surgery that would remove my eye and my right optic nerve. There was little time to argue about it as Earl said it was the only way I could get the money in time. My first stop on the tour was San Diego, which had a population of 1.1 million people compared to Hollywood's paltry 123,475 people. I was to perform a concert at the Starlight Bowl in Balboa Park, which was a bit unnerving to say the least. At this point, I had only performed for a handful of people. I couldn't imagine going out there and performing to hundreds, if not thousands, of people. What if this were to backfire on me?
In any case, on February 9th, I found myself and my parents heading for the Starlight Bowl, where I was to open for a girl group called "Galatea and the Galaxy Girls." I'd never heard of them before doing this tour. Apparently, they'd been around since the mid '80s (around the time I was born) and had been putting out music for a while. How was I supposed to compete with them when they were practically light-years ahead of me in experience and presence? I wasn't sure, but my parents and my manager were relying on me to figure it out.
There were eleven girls in the group in total, and they all wore black mini-skirts and white halter tops. First there was the lead member, Galatea Attaway, who had milky white skin that complimented her platinum-blonde hair and grayish-blue eyes. Next, there was Soleil Hanlon; who had muddy brown skin like my dad, kobe red hair, and dark brown eyes. Then there was Hermione Rasch with her tan skin, dyed teal hair, and steel blue eyes. Then there was Venus Saylor with her very fair skin, her dyed pink hair, and her violet eyes. Then there was the blonde-haired, gray-eyed Luna Mallory; the auburn-haired green-eyed Barbara Gall; the dark-skinned, curly-haired, bindi-adorned Brihaspati Opeyemi; the brown-skinned, blue-eyed Rhea Ringgold; the dark-haired Herschel twins Titania and Thronia Herschel; and lastly, there was Pomeline Caulfield with her ghostly pale skin, her jet-black hair, and her gray eyes. All eleven of them definitely had a sense of glamour to them.
Meanwhile, I was wearing a simple blue dress that tracked all the way down to my ankles with matching flats. I was still wearing a light blue wig to conceal what little hair I had from the chemotherapy, but now it was styled into a bob that barely went past my chin. My right eye was concealed beneath a pearlescent eyepatch covered in glitter. I wasn't sure I was a fan of the eyepatch, but Earl had convinced me that it would draw more attention towards my illness.
"So," Shep began to say to me. "You ready to get out there and open for Galatea's girl group?"
I shurgged. "Ready as I'll ever be, I guess."
"I'll take that as a yes. Now get out there and perform like you've never performed before." Shep took my hand and led me through the curtains out onto the stage. "Oh and don't worry if you choke out there, Sapphire. I'll be right here if you need to bail out."
"Thanks, Shep."
"You're welcome."
Shep just winked at me, and then I just watched as he sank back through the curtains, leaving me to deal with the hundreds and hundreds of people who would surely become a large part of my fanbase and bring in the money I needed for my surgery. Now was my chance!
"Hello, everyone," I spoke into the microphone. "I'm so glad you could all make it. As you probably know already, I have cancer. I hope that, with your help, I can get the surgery I need to remove the tumor from my eye."
The front row of the audience cheered as I said this.
I smiled widely. "And now, for my opening act, I shall sing 'Perseverance and Hope.' Thank you."
The front row of the audience cheered again. As soon as the music started to play, I started singing. To this day, I still don't know if I was actually singing the lyrics that Shep's girlfriend wrote or if I was singing off the top of my head. Either way, I was singing a song that echoed through the building.
In the darkest of nights, when it's hard to see
And the road ahead is rough and steep
When the weight of the world feels heavy on my shoulders
I keep on moving, I keep on getting older
My left eye looked up to the sky, wondering if God was up there, looking out for me. I wondered if He was smiling down upon me as a way to motivate me further.
Perseverance and hope, they carry me through
I won't give up, I'll see it through
No matter how hard, no matter how steep
I'll keep on going, I won't accept defeat
I scanned my vision across the sea of faces in the crowd. I tried to look around and see for myself all the unique faces who had come to watch me sing. I wanted to know what brought them here, but there was no time. I had to keep singing.
I know that the road ahead may be long
And there may be times when everything goes wrong
But I won't let fear get the best of me
I'll hold on to hope, I'll keep my eyes on the prize, you'll see
Perseverance and hope, they carry me through
I won't give up, I'll see it through
No matter how hard, no matter how steep
I'll keep on going, I won't accept defeat
There will be days when I stumble and fall
But I'll get back up, I'll stand tall
I won't let the challenges of life bring me down
I'll keep pushing forward, I won't turn around
Perseverance and hope, they carry me through
I won't give up, I'll see it through
No matter how hard, no matter how steep
I'll keep on going, I won't accept defeat
Perseverance and hope, they are my guide
Through the ups and downs of life, they'll be by my side
I'll keep on striving, I'll keep on reaching
With perseverance and hope, I know I can achieve anything.
Right after I sang it, I took a step back and waited in bated breath for a reaction, any reaction. Nerves once again took over. Then, to my surprise, everyone started cheering my name. I could hear the applause as it blasted all around me. I scanned the crowds again, making sure to get a good look at everyone in the audience who was cheering me on. I bowed and then retreated to the back of the stage, where Shep and my parents were waiting for me.
"You were amazing out there, Sapphire," Shep said.
I smiled. "Thank you, Shep. I practiced a lot."
"I could tell. I can't imagine how good Galatea and the Galaxy Girls must be by comparison. Sure, they can sing, but not as well as you can."
I wasn't sure how to respond, so I just took it as a compliment. I just hung out at the back of the stage with my parents while I listened to Galatea address the audience and announce that her group would be singing a song called "Girl Power." This was actually one of my favorite songs from them, so getting to hear it live was especially a treat for me.
She's got a fire in her eyes,
A heart full of strength and pride,
She won't back down from a fight,
She's got the power deep inside.
Girl power, it's a force to be reckoned with,
No one can bring her down,
She's got the courage to stand up and fight,
She's a queen with a golden crown.
She's got a voice that won't be silenced,
A spirit that can't be broken,
She's blazing a trail for all to see,
She's a symbol of hope unspoken.
Girl power, it's a force to be reckoned with,
No one can bring her down,
She's got the courage to stand up and fight,
She's a queen with a golden crown.
She's breaking barriers and stereotypes,
She's making waves that can't be denied,
She's a hero for the ages,
A warrior with a heart full of fire.
Girl power, it's a force to be reckoned with,
No one can bring her down,
She's got the courage to stand up and fight,
She's a queen with a golden crown.
So let's raise our voices and sing out loud,
For the power of the girls,
Together we'll rise and conquer all,
With our strength, we'll change the world.
My confidence got a significant boost after the song ended. Now I felt like I could handle anything.