A Break from Monotony, or, How That Idiot Sirius Black Managed to Charm Me
Disclaimer: The fabulous Ms. Rowling is the owner of all characters from the Harry Potter series. Credit is given where credit is due.
Chapter 5
Defense Against the Dark Arts
"Judy's not very friendly, is she?" Remus asked Morgana as they walked to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom after lunch. Judy had left the Gryffindor table early, and Peter decided to walk to class with boil-free Sirius, my-robes-are-amazing James, Geraldine and Susie.
"No, not really," Morgana said honestly, shrugging. "But she doesn't fawn over Sirius and James, which I find pleasant."
Remus did not answer.
"So, this morning...about the...?"
"The Impervious Charm?" Remus asked. Morgana nodded. "Pumpkin juice."
"I take it you don't talk much," Morgana commented, after a few moments.
"I don't," Remus said, and shrugged. "I've always been sort of quiet."
"Oh," Morgana said, but Remus' sad face (or perhaps he just looked that way?) did not stop her from prodding. "What happened with the pumpkin juice?"
"It spilled," Remus said, slightly surprised that Morgana was taking such an interest into this seemingly trivial story.
"And how did Lily find out? What caused the pumpkin juice to spill? When did this happen? Where did this happen?" Morgana listed off. "You have to give me details, Remus."
"Why are you so interested?"
"You're being too secretive about it. That must mean it was something terrible and embarrassing and I want to know," Morgana answered.
"I'm not being secretive!" Remus exclaimed, raising his voice slightly. "It's just not important, that's all."
Morgana cocked an eyebrow at him. "If it's not a secret and it's not very important, why don't you tell me?"
Remus flared his nostrils. "You are very stubborn."
The corner of Morgana's lip twitched. She was trying very hard not to smile. "So I've been told." She responded, trying to keep all amusement from her voice. "You're quite stubborn too."
Morgana knew she had hit a nerve. Remus began talking, his voice tense.
"I was reading a book and balancing a goblet of pumpkin juice between my knees alone in my compartment on the train ride here when James and Sirius fell into my compartment. The pumpkin juice went all over the place and on my jeans because I hadn't changed into my robes yet-"
"Jeans?"
Remus stopped walking and stared at Morgana, who had not stopped walking. When she realized Remus was no longer beside her, she stopped and turned around. "What?"
"You don't know what jeans are?" Remus asked in disbelief, all anger toward her gone.
"No, I don't," Morgana answered in the same slow voice Remus had asked his question in. "What are jeans?"
"Pants. Jeans are pants."
"Why couldn't you say pants like a normal person?" Morgana asked as Remus regained his place next to her. They continued to walk down the corridor.
"Never mind the pants. Anyway, the pumpkin juice got all over the place, including my pants,"
"And…?" Morgana asked, clearly not understanding what Remus was alluding to.
"It looked like I had urinated in my pants," Remus said flatly. His cheeks flushed.
Morgana formed an 'o' with her mouth, and forced herself not to giggle. "I knew it was something terrible and embarrassing!"
"You have no tact, do you?" Remus asked.
"My dad says I'm incorrigible," Morgana said, thinking this was a sufficient answer. When she did not elaborate, Remus went on, surprised that he was telling Morgana, almost a perfect stranger, this tale of embarrassment and utter shame.
"And then Lily came in to make sure everything was okay. She was sitting in the compartment across the way and saw that James and Sirius practically broke the compartment door." He paused. "She thought I had peed in my pants and, uh, left without saying anything."
Morgana could not help herself; she began to laugh. Remus shot her a menacing glare.
"It's just that it's very comical from an outside point of view," Morgana apologized.
"Actually, it was very traumatizing," Remus replied shortly. "And, I changed into my robes that very second, if you must know."
"I bet you did," Morgana smiled at Remus.
After a pause, Remus said, "I guess it is pretty funny. You know, if you're not the one with pumpkin juice on your jeans."
There was a lull in the conversation. Remus took to looking at the portraits he passed.
"How did you manage a compartment alone?" Morgana asked, keen to continue conversation with Remus. "I would have killed to be in my own compartment."
Remus raised one of his eyebrows at her. "I got on the train early and locked the door."
"And what if people came by?"
"I told them I had dragon pox," He said simply. "Though, I suppose, this is probably the reason Sirius and James forced entry into the compartment…"
"You don't look like you have dragon pox,"
"I know," Remus said, and smiled. "People tend to not ask questions when you say you have a contagious disease."
"I'll have to remember that," Morgana nodded her head appreciatively a few times. "That's very smart."
Remus' cheeks burned red at this comment, but he managed to hide his face from Morgana's view by taking great interest in a painting to his right.
Very soon after, they had arrived at the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. There was a queue formed outside of the door, a mix of both Gryffindors and Ravenclaws. Judging from the excited murmur, the first years seemed anxious to enter the classroom and experience there first ever Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson.
A very tall and very thin man suddenly opened the door into the classroom. Morgana had seen pictures of vampires before, and if she didn't trust Dumbledore's judgment, she would have assumed this man was a vampire. His skin was translucent and his cheeks were hollowed out. His eyes, which were grey and piercing, were sunken into his skull; his brow bone cast heavy shadows on the rest of his face.
Nervously, the first years shuffled in, careful not to get to close to the professor. They all seemed to have come to the same conclusion as Morgana.
The classroom was vast and devoid of desks. What kind of classroom doesn't have desks? Morgana wondered as she stared about the room. She noticed that she was not the only one with doubts – many students had grouped off far from the professor's desk and were conversing in soft whispers.
When the last student entered the classroom, the professor shut the door and cleared his throat. "Good afternoon, class. My name is Professor Barnes and I will be your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher for the year."
The class responded with nothing more than silence. Professor Barnes had a very quiet voice that forced people to listen with the utmost attention. It seemed the whole class had leaned forward.
"And, contrary to my appearance, I am not a vampire, but thank you for thinking so deeply about my parentage," Barnes offered a weak smile, which was not returned by the class.
A Ravenclaw boy timidly raised his hand. "Yes, Mister, uh?"
"Thompson, sir. You said you'd only be our teacher for a year?"
"Correct, Mister Thompson," Barnes said, moving in front of his desk. "My health no longer permits me to live in such a climate. I'll be moving to South America in the summer and will perhaps teach at one of the schools there."
Morgana instantly pictured Professor Barnes in a Hawaiian print shirt, holding a coconut in one hand and a palm fan in the other. She suppressed a giggle.
"If there are no further questions, I would like to begin our lesson," Barnes said. He scanned the room and saw no other hands raised. "In that case, I would like to begin the term with a practical lesson to get you all excited for Defense Against the Dark Arts."
The mood of the room rapidly changed. Everyone perked up and began to whisper to their surrounding friends.
"In a moment, I'm going to ask you to find a partner – but not now, if you please, Mr. Black!"
Sirius had already grabbed James by the wrist and dragged him halfway across the room. The two froze in their places and smiled sheepishly at Professor Barnes.
"But before we all group off and start jinxing one another, can anyone give me the spell that disarms an opponent?"
Seven or so hands shot in the air, but Barnes saw Lily's first. "Yes, Miss?"
"Lily Evans, Professor," She said. "The spell is Expelliarmus."
"Correct, five points for Gryffindor," Professor Barnes exclaimed. "Miss Evans is correct – the spell to disarm is Expelliarmus. Now, say it with me-"
"Expelliarmus!" The class recited with Professor Barnes.
"Very good, very good." He said. "Who can explain to me the wandwork associated with this spell?"
No hands went up into the air. "Ah, yes, a more difficult question. I didn't expect anyone to know." He chuckled. "When using Expelliarmus, you want to point your wand directly at your opponent's wand. That makes sense, considering you are attempting to disarm your opponent, not injure them."
A few people looked uneasy. They now realized that they were expected to do adequate magic in front of their classmates. Morgana was one of the few whose confidence did not waver.
"So now, if you please, get into pairs and separate yourselves about the room. Make sure you aren't too close to another group!"
Professor Barnes had to shout the last instruction because the noise level had risen tremendously.
Sirius and James were partners, and next to them, unsurprisingly, were Geraldine and Susie. Peter and Judy were teamed up near them (Judy looking a bit sour about it) and next to them were Lily and Justin. Remus and Morgana exchanged looks, and nodded.
They paired up, but remained on the side of the room they were on, far away from Sirius and James.
The classroom was very noisy now. Morgana could barely hear what Remus was trying to tell her, and therefore, did not know what he was talking about. As she moved closer to him to hear what he was saying, a loud bang sounded from the front of the room. The chatter died immediately.
"Thank you," Professor Barnes said very pleasantly. "Taking turns, I would like you to attempt to disarm your opponent. And please, try to refrain from using any other spells." He looked reprovingly at Sirius and James. "When you hear another loud bang, that means to stop what you are doing and return your attention to me. Carry on."
Remus and Morgana looked at one another. "You first," They said simultaneously. "No, you."
"Ladies first," Remus insisted, and smiled. He stood with his wand ready and his eyes closed.
"Expelliarmus!" Morgana shouted. She was not sure if Remus had dropped his wand in fear or if the spell had actually worked, but respecting the instructions, she allowed Remus to have his turn.
Remus pointed his wand at Morgana's and shouted, "Expelliarmus!" Morgana's wand flew gracefully in an arc through the air and landed in Remus' free hand.
Morgana (and, admittedly, a few others) stared in awe at Remus, who blushed and returned Morgana's wand to her.
"Ah, Mr. Lupin's done it!" Professor Barnes exclaimed. "Five points for Gryffindor!"
By the time class was finished, everyone had disarmed someone at least once (Geraldine had terrible aim).
Morgana and Remus were fetching their bags when Sirius and James swooped down upon Remus. "Wondrous wandwork, dear friend," Sirius complimented.
Morgana rolled her eyes. "I'll see you in Herbology, Remus."
With that, she hurried to meet with Judy and walk down to the greenhouses with her.