A Break from Monotony, or, How That Idiot Sirius Black Managed to Charm Me

Disclaimer: The fabulous Ms. Rowling is the owner of all characters from the Harry Potter series. Credit is given where credit is due.

Chapter 12

The Further Antics of Sirius Black

"Sirius Black, you fix this right now!" Morgana yelled. Stink Sap slid into her open mouth, making her gag and cough.

"Er..., okay, right then," Sirius said, unsure. "Er..."

"If you don't think of something right now, I will hex the nose right off of your face!"

Both knew this was an empty threat, seeing as Morgana did not know any curses that could wreak such havoc, but, regardless, Sirius racked his brain for a spell that would remove the offending substance.

"What was the spell Remus used to remove the gravy I spilled on my robes that one time?" Sirius asked frantically.

"I don't know, Sirius, but you better remember soon, or else I'm going to kill you!" Morgana screamed, Stink Sap seeping lazily from her face and hair down to her robes.

Remus, who had returned from the library with two new books in his arms, climbed through the portrait hole to find a very smelly and irate Morgana and Sirius cowering behind his wand.

Dropping his books, Remus swiftly pulled his wand from his robes, pointed it at Morgana's face, and cried, "Tergeo!"

The Stink Sap and its disgusting odor vanished into thin air. Unfortunately for Sirius, Morgana's fury was not so easily charmed away. "What the hell was that for?" She yelled.

There was no one but Sirius and Remus to witness the scene Morgana was making. Both the smell and Morgana's insurmountable rage drove the other Gryffindors from the common room. And, lucky for them, Remus thought, because Morgana now had her wand out and was pointing it directly between Sirius' eyes.

"Now, now, Morgana," Sirius said, putting his hands up in both defense and defeat, "Put your wand down."

"And why should I, Sirius?" She hissed, advancing on him.

"Because," Remus said firmly, stepping between the two. "You'll get in a lot of trouble if you kill him, Morgana."

"I don't care, Remus," Morgana seethed, "Now get out of the way or I'll jinx you too!"

"Remus, get out of the way," Sirius said from behind him. "It's not worth us both getting hurt."

"No one is going to get hurt, Sirius," Remus said, not breaking eye contact with Morgana. "Because Morgana is going to lower her wand."

"Remus-"

"Morgana, put your wand down," Remus said calmly.

Morgana sighed, but lowered her wand as told. It was clear in both her expression and demeanor that she no longer wished to harm Sirius, so Remus stepped aside.

Sirius was still cowering, however, and was not so willing to believe that Morgana was not going to hex him.

The three stood in silence for a few moments, before Sirius opened his mouth to speak. "Morgana, look, I'm sorry. I didn't think you were going to come through the portrait hole. I thought it was going to be Remus."

"And why would you want to douse Remus in Stink Sap, if you two are such good friends?" Morgana asked, her arms crossed over her chest.

"It would have been funny," Sirius said, as if this were a commonly known fact.

"I don't think it would have been funny," Remus chimed in as he picked up his library books from the floor. "I don't think it would have been funny at all."

"Remus, it would have been hilarious,"

"I have never before questioned your sense of humor," Remus said, without the faintest smile on his face, "Until now."

With that being said, Remus left Morgana and Sirius in the common room.

"What's with him?" Morgana asked Sirius, forgetting that she was still really upset with him.

"Maybe it's his time of the month?" Sirius shrugged. "My cousin Bellatrix acts like that at certain times of the month…though it's not much different from how she normally acts…"

"Don't be an idiot, Sirius. Boys don't have a time of the month," Morgana said.

"Well, whatever," Sirius said, falling into one of the squashy arm chairs. "Wanna play Gobstones?"

"No, Sirius, I do not want to play Gobstones," Morgana said before taking her leave.

During the rest of Christmas holiday, Sirius sent Morgana an owl every day with an apology letter in its beak. He asked her seven more times if she would like to play Gobstones with him; even though she told him numerous times that she did not like the game. She even dumped her brand new Gobstones in a bin the fifth time he asked.

One memorable morning, she found out what happened when a boy tries to enter the girls' dormitories. She and the rest of the Gryffindor girls who stayed for Christmas awoke to an extremely loud wailing noise very early in the morning. In their night clothes, they all ran to see which silly boy had attempted to climb the stairs.

They found Sirius Black sprawled out on the floor, thoroughly confused as to why the stairs turned into a stone slide beneath his feet.

Another morning, Morgana found that her waffles changed colors every so often. She was grateful when they did not dance away when she tried to cut them down to size. Sirius was trying but failing to hide his laughter from across the table.

One evening, Sirius transfigured Morgana's school bag into a pig but could not figure out how to transfigure it back. As usual, Remus had to step in and perform some complicated magic to fix everything. The bag, however, now had a pink, fleshy color rather than its original olive green.

Needless to say, Morgana was incredibly happy to see the other students return for the next term.

Lily was appalled to hear about all of the things Sirius had done. "I thought he would have been better without Potter," Lily said while unpacking her trunk. "I'm sorry you had to endure all that, Morgana."

Lily's holiday had gone much better than Morgana's. Her parents wanted to hear everything about Hogwarts, even though her Muggle sister did not. "She hates that we go to different schools now," Lily had said, "I think she's jealous, really."

For Christmas, Lily's parents gave her a cat, which she named Butch Cassidy after a character in a Muggle film she and her dad always watched together. She said that they wanted to get her an owl, but there were no pet stores in London that sold them. "Of course, they couldn't go to Diagon Alley. They're both Muggles!" He was a lazy, fat cat, but cute, nonetheless. His mere existence bothered both Sirius and Peter, though neither Lily nor Morgana could figure out why. Morgana, having always been more of a cat person, thought he was sweet, and found he was an excellent addition to the dormitory.

James also came back to Hogwarts with a new pet – though his parents gave him an owl, seeing as they were both wizards and therefore had no problem traveling to Diagon Alley. He named his new, snowy owl Merlin, because apparently, he was that brilliant.

The first night in the dormitories, Morgana later found out from Remus, Merlin had pooped on Justin.

Sirius was much less annoying now that his friends were back. Morgana saw less and less of him, which she did not mind in the slightest. Even his owl stopped delivering letters.

Morgana was excited to go back to classes every day. She would take back breaking school work over a bored Sirius Black any day of the week.