Chapter 9, Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!

"speech" – speech
^speech^ - parseltongue

speech – non-verbal speech

Quick note – This chapter is dedicated to Muxi who gave me the back-up idea of dark Slytherins that aren't Slytherins (I might have mention this but I never actually kept my promise so here it is). Oh and there possibly is too much Ravenclaw pride in this chapter (I hope no one minds) but as a Slyth/Rave myself I couldn't help it.

When Albus Dumbledore got to his feet he beamed at the students, his arms wide, as if nothing pleased him more than to see them all there.

"Welcome!" he said, "Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, would like to say a few words…"

Hermione leaned forward, this was the most powerful wizard of their time, she got the feeling that his next words were important. Her mind prepared to commit them to memory.

"And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank you," he said and sat down.

Many of the students laughed but Hermione was left disappointed. She had thought that this was a man of power and wisdom and that his advice could help her with her quest for knowledge but obviously he was just an old coot.

As the feast appeared on the plates in front on her and the hall roared to life she turned to Ron and Harry (both sitting just behind her) to make a scathing comment on the Headmaster's sanity when she noticed their expressions. Both boys were still looking at the now seated Dumbledore with admiration in their eyes.

That man is a genius, Ron sent via their link. Hermione could feel Harry's approval.

Why? His words didn't mean anything, right? She sent back as she quietly loaded her plate not concentrating on the food that ended up there.

That's the brilliance of it! Harry's mind whirled enthusiastically although his face betrayed no emotion. The words themselves don't mean anything however the way he delivered them causes everyone else to try a bring meaning to the words themselves. Add to the fact that the words are short and jovial, delivered to a room of hungry children means that he gained respect from Gryffindor and Hufflepuff minds that don't want to delve in to meaning, those are the followers he is targeting. Everyone else fills it with their own thoughts; Supporters would see wisdom in those words while those who would naturally oppose him would see nothing but insane rambles. That's the perfection of the idea. (1)

It was Hermione's turn to cast the Headmaster a look of awe; he had planned his speech well it seemed. Hermione was looking forward to what else she might learn from the Professor. Looking around the head table she examined each teacher. At the ends of the table sat a giant bearded man and an old Igor-looking-character. Hermione assumed that they were the heads of staff. Next to them were a few older ordinary-teacher-looking types and then a few coots. Most notably there was a skinny woman who resembled a bug and a nervous man in a turban.

However it was the two either side of the Headmaster that finally caught Hermione's attention, the two heads, Gryffindor's Professor McGonagall and Slytherin's Professor Snape. Hermione had met Snape when he had come to her house to explain Hogwarts and magic. He looked just as opposing then as he did now. The way the three of them conversed screamed loyalty, though Hermione was sure that this was Ron's thought and not her own. She could see, almost through the red head's eyes, the subtle submissive gestures that McGonagall and even Snape gave to Dumbledore. (2)

Without warning Hermione's, and Ron's, attention was snapped back to their table as a girl with tight black braids addressed them.

"Hello there. I'm Lisa Turpin, and you are," the girl beamed their blinking faces.

Eventually Hermione smiled back and stuck out her hand, "I'm Hermione Granger. And this is Ron Weasley," she gestured to the red head before turning her attention back to Lisa who was eyeing Harry, "And this is Harry but you already knew that right?" her voice was a little harder now. It was easy to see that the girl was only trying to talk to famous 'Harry Freakin' Potter'.

Lisa didn't look at all abashed instead she simply nodded and continued to speak as if she was already their best friend, "I'm a pureblood but I don't think anyone is better than anyone else. I treat everyone equally."

Hermione snorted, as if, the girl wanted nothing more than to fire questions at Harry whilst ignoring her and Ron, that was obvious.

Control yourself, Harry, still annoyingly blank faced, projected into her mind. Turpin is a respected name, she holds some authority in this world.

Hermione briefly wondered how Harry knew this before she heard him speak out loud.

"Really, that's nice," Hermione was surprised by the warmth in Harry's voice, "So you're a pureblood. I bet you know a bit about magic already. I lived with my muggle aunt so I don't know a lot about the wizarding world," Harry said with a nervous smile. Hermione knew this was a complete lie but she could detect it at all.

Clearly Ron had heard her thoughts because he sent her his own. Can you see the slight frown in his forehead? Or the way his eyes are meeting hers? If he were really nervous he wouldn't want to do that however right now he is trying to gain her trust and that is the easiest way. Practised liars will often try to hold your eyes because it gains your trust and it gives them a feeling of control over the situation.

Hermione looked back at Harry with interest picking up on the little clues that Ron had told her. She couldn't believe that Ron had picked up on the tiny crease in Harry's eyebrows, it was barely noticeable.

Lisa however noticed nothing and smiled sweetly, "Really? Feel free to come to me with any questions about our customs. I'm sure you'll pick up on everything quickly though. Muggleborns always do and it's not like the purebloods know any spells really. Most of us can't even cast a Lumos charm," she said brightly.

Hermione watched as Harry's scrunched up in a look of confusion, "What's a Lumos charm?"

Once again Ron ran a commentary on the tell-tale signs of lying and Hermione was enthralled listening intently. She wasn't even aware of her mind running over every word twice over and committing it to memory. Harry and Lisa discussed light topics like school and spells however as desert appeared on the table the conversation turned to Lisa's parents.

"Well my father is the Head of the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures' Department at the Ministry and my oldest brother runs an apothecary. Liam, the second eldest is training to be an Auror and my youngest brother and my only sister are both in their fifth year here. I think they want to travel instead of getting careers," Lisa spoke as if it was the most common thing to take off instead of working which surprised Hermione.

When Harry didn't comment on it, instead asking in detail about each job, she mentally asked Ron. Most pureblood wizarding families are rich, Hermione, most don't need more money they simply get jobs to feel accomplished or to give back to the family vault. It's quite common for purebloods to not work if they want to travel or do charity work.

Hermione sighed, so the wizarding world was full of snot-nosed rich kids. Hermione knew that her muggle family was wealthy, she had gone to a privet primary school, however she had concluded that it was often the really rich kids that bullied her. They were the kind that played with expensive phones instead of toys and bragged about their parents while putting hers down.

She was drawn out of her inner ramblings by silence. The tables were once again clear and the Headmaster was standing. She focused her attention to reality. She noted the Professor's eyes flicking to Ron's twin brothers when he mentioned the forest on the grounds. Remembering what Ron had told her about their antics she shared a grin with him. She frowned at the mention of Quidditch, she had no idea what that meant.

"And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a very painful death," the Headmaster proclaimed grimly.

Turning to the side Hermione gave the boys a look that echoed her silent question; This for real?

Harry gave her the slightest of nods and turned back to the Headmaster. Hermione did the same whilst listening to the various murmurs and whispered conversations. Professor Dumbledore calmly waited for the noise to abate somewhat before drawing attention back to the front.

Hermione snorted again at the suggestion of singing the school song. She hadn't sung since she embarrassed herself at her fifth year talent show and she was not going to do it now. With a frown she stared at the glittering gold words that were the lyrics. Around her everyone was singing at different paces. Almost no Slytherins joined the song, Ron's brothers were using the Death March as their tune, Harry was singing to quietly to hear and Ron was singing with a rich voice that sounded a lot better than most of the students' voices. She sighed with relief as the song (torture!) ended.

The Headmaster excused them and the hall leapt to life. A pretty girl with brown hair called the first years over. As they made their way out of the Hall Hermione slipped her hand into Ron's. At least she wasn't alone for once.

When Harry felt Ron's hand silently slip into his he looked over to see Hermione's already clutching the red-head's left one. With a sigh he kept track of the path they were following. He almost feel the other conversing mentally and wanting him to join but kept his own mind focused on just how many turns they had taken.

Eventually the Ravenclaws ended up at on the west side of the fifth floor. At the top of a spiral staircase, and is a door without doorknob or keyhole but a bronze knocker in the shape of an eagle. Harry was surprised, though he didn't show it, when the knocker spoke in a high-pitched voice;

"What is greater than good, worse than evil, the content seek it and if you eat it you die?" the knocker asked.

Harry felt a ripple of discontent, "The password is a riddle! That is really unsafe, particularly with one as easy as this. Anyone could walk in," Harry was indignant.

The prefect turned her eyes coldly on him, "If they solve the riddle they are worthy of entering. If you can't figure the riddle you wait until someone does, that is how you learn. Knowledge is to be shared not horded. Now do you have an answer to the riddle or not?"

Harry could see her reasoning however it would suck to be stuck out here all night if the riddle was particularly hard, "The answer is 'nothing', is it not?" he felt weird addressing a door knocker.

"Indeed," the knocker cheered loudly and the door popped open.

The female prefect shot him a warning glare and Harry managed to keep the smugness off his face. She ushered them in to a large circular room coloured with various shades of blue. The ceiling was painted with silver shining stars that actually twinkled. There were a lot of students sitting clusters leisurely talking about their holidays, Harry noticed a couple getting 'reacquainted' with each other's mouths under a white marble statue of a serene tall woman.

However the prefect pulled them over to a set of stairs that lead through to a second level. Again this level held chatting students only this time the walls were covered in bookcases and the conversations were held in fierce whispers, over hand-written notes and books. Harry got the feeling he would be spending a lot of time on this level. The prefect pointed out a small doorway next to another stair case.

"This door will lead to the first year dormitory, the dorm rooms do not change for your time at Hogwarts so this will be your room for as long as you are here. Boys are on the left and girls are on the right. Boy and girls are not permitted in each other's dorms. Likewise you are not allowed in the older students dorms which are located on each floor above us, however you may go to those floors so long as you stay outside of the dorms themselves," by now the girl was reciting, she must have practiced the speech before.

"You are warned now that telling outsiders about the location of our common room is a punishable offense however there are students from other houses who have figured out the location. These students are encouraged to continue coming here and often join our inter-common room clubs, such as the debate team and specialist clubs, they are to be treated with respect. On Fridays there are all night study sessions for which some of the older students kindly allow us to borrow their time. This is to help students with any school work related problems. On Saturdays after breakfast there is an open debate, regulated by the debate team, for anyone to join, the topic is posted on the notice board downstairs the previous Wednesday as to give time to prepare any notes on the subject. Even if you hold no interest in these events please make sure you are aware of them and do not interfere with those who wish to join in."

Once again the first years were subjected to the girl's glare, Harry shrugged it off though, he had seen worse. "Please check the notice board each day as room changes and other important information is always available there and no one will be babying you to make sure you got the memo. There are out of house clubs such as gob-stones and chess which you might wish to join. As for your behaviour with in the dorm, it is curfew at nine and you are expected to be in here or your dorms by such a time, with the exception of Astronomy. You are to keep your voices at a respectable level or upperclassmen will subject you to silencing charms. Are there any questions?" The girl looked like she had already decided that were none.

Harry frowned and raised his hand, "Just two quick questions, firstly what are rules concerning the books on the shelves and secondly if we are having issues who is the proper person to contact?"

The girl gave him an approving look, "Maybe our resident celebrity has some brains. The books on the shelves are open for use, once you're done with a book put it into one of those red boxes," she nodded her head towards one such box, "the books are then returned to shelf. A warning though these books do not leave this tower and are not to be left out, if you break either of these two rules the punishment is severe. As for problems you can always seek out a prefect such as myself, we are usually hanging around the upper levels, however if you think a prefect is not fulfilling their duty or your problem is with a prefect than our house head is Professor Flitwick, the short statured gentleman who teaches charms I hope you don't face problems that your need to go to him for. And now dear children you should set upon prepping for bed. It's your first day tomorrow you need to be well rested. Off you hop," she smiled, "except you Potter," the girl added on the end.

Reluctantly Harry let go of Ron and his two friends waiting hovering under the doorway the other students had disappear into. "Yes, um…" he trailed not sure about how to address the prefect.

The girl smiled, "Penelope. And about your little burst at the entrance there, I wanted to let you know that I understand you problem. However every house, even Gryffindor, had its Death Eaters so simply hiding behind a password will not keep you safe. If a supporter of you-know-who really wanted to attack you they aren't going to do it in your sleep though; the dorms are warded, only a male Ravenclaw of your age group or a teacher can get in to your room, this is done to keep everyone protected. Now you've got a good head on your shoulders so don't let how the other students behave affect you do," with a final stern look she dismissed him and immediately dropped into a conversation on the far side of the room.

Returning to his friends, who had heard the whole conversation, he motioned for them to sit at a nearby abandoned table for the moment. Sinking into plush blue chairs Ron and Hermione looked curiously at him. He could feel their careful prodding at his mind but shut them out completely he needed to talk to them, out loud.

"Hermione, Ron, we have to think in terms of goals. This is probably a too serious question for our age but we should start thinking about it. What do we each want from life?" he made sure he spoke in a hushed tone so no one else could hear.

He could feel Hermione churning a thousand thoughts a second. That was the reason why he hadn't wanted to hold this discussion via the bond, he didn't need to see the bushy girl's every want sifted through. Eventually it was Ron that spoke out loud first;

"Security, safety, happiness?" Ron uttered softly.

Harry shook his head, Ron was thinking to abstract, "I was more in the direction of possible careers, lines of study, interests and hobbies. Charities, becoming prefect or world domination, in other words goals."

Hermione arched an eyebrow, "World domination?"

Harry gave a small grin, "It's a possibility. Besides I wasn't seriously expecting an answer right now, I just think we should be discussing goals and thinking about what we want to do. That way when the time comes that we have to decide we will be ready and well informed."

Ron nodded, "I was kind of thinking about pursuing a career like my brother Bill's as a curse breaker or a rune master. Those kind of jobs are interesting and they allow one to travel the world. But that's only a possibility, and you need really high grades."

Harry reached over and patted Ron's shoulder, "Mate you are two years ahead of the class and we haven't even had our first lesson. You're going to have 'really high grades'."

Ron smiled, a silent thanks was passed between them.

Harry's attention was pulled back to the bushy haired girl when she sighed, "I've got no idea about wizarding culture. I was so engrossed by trying to lighten my home life and then memorizing the textbooks that I didn't have time to read about day-to-day wizard life."

Harry watched as Ron put a comforting hand on the girl's shoulder, "Don't worry about it. Between me and Harry you'll pick up the information quickly."

Harry had to stop himself from correcting the red-head's grammar and instead smiled and nodded at the girl, he could feel that she needed reassurance.

Hermione smiled and thanked them for their support before excusing herself to bed. Both boys watched her leave before they too agreed to go sleep. It had been a long day. And later as Harry fell asleep and he felt the presence of Hermione and Ron in his mind he was surprised at how comfortable it was. Neither was pressing into his thoughts or sending goodnight wishes, they were simply wrapped around his mind like a warm blanket. It was then that he realized that he would never be alone any longer and after being alone for so long that was a comfort he had never realized that he wanted.

(1) I'm not sure if I did a good job explaining the meaning of the words. Really I was searching for a good title for this chapter and I thought, 'what about Dumbles' random gibberish?' So being lazy I went online instead of looking through the book. Wow way too many people try to analyse those words. So I figured there would be some irony if the whole meaning of the four word speech was dependant on the lack of meaning.

(2) Take note that Hermione gets confused over whether it's her thoughts or Ron's that allow her to analyse the Head-trio as I have taken to calling Dumbles, Snake and Mac-G. Also take note that both McGonagall and Snape are close to the Headmaster because I really like Head-trio stories/situations where they plan, at least somewhat, together. Too many people do the McGonagall-is-unaware thing when she is too clever for that. And no there will not be Dumbledore bashing, much. ;)

Okay yes that was a ridiculously long time to wait for a post. Well for a month I was studying for exams and then a week spent enjoying summer (yes I'm on that side of the world) and there was Christmas. As for the rest of the time I must say there was nothing but severe writer's block. I'm sorry.

On a lighter note, the next chapter will be the first day. It would have been in this chapter but it got too big. Feel free to badger me if you notice I'm not posting (no seriously do so, it helps me write) and if your on a site called HEX (Hogwarts Extreme) my user name is the same so feel free to bother me there ;)