5. The End and the Beginning

Rory's hands were shaking as she heard the ringing at the other end of the line. Her mind kept wondering if calling Logan was a good or bad idea. Every time she tried to be friends with a member of the opposite sex something bad had happened. There was the Tristan episode which led to a kiss on the piano bench the night after her break-up with Dean. And then, the Jess episode which turned out to be a disaster. But, she still stayed on the line waiting for Logan to answer, after all, she didn't have feelings for Logan. Yet again, she did not have feelings for Tristan or Jess, but, she still kissed them while she had a boyfriend. Then again, Jess wouldn't be her boyfriend for long, and, Logan didn't act like he wanted her. The sound of Logan's voice interrupted her train of thought.

"Hello."

"Logan."

He immediately recognized Rory's voice even though they had only talked once - a week before. He did not know why his heart had leapt at the sound of her voice. He did not know what to make of this feeling. He put his conflicting range of emotions aside and said: "So, Ace, to what do I owe this pleasure? Did Prince Charming make things right?" There was a hint of sarcasm when Logan uttered those words.

"What makes you think I'm calling about him… I could've been calling to ask if the food at Yale is as good as my grandfather says." Not ready to give Logan the satisfaction that he was completely right about Jess.

Logan laughed. "Well, things have changed since the time your grandfather had gone to Yale. The only good thing here is the cereal… and, of course, the ice cream. I think the meat loaf could cause some stomach ache."

"Oh, darn, good cafeteria food was on my pro list… I should have known that my grandfather was just exaggerating as he usually does when he talks about his alma mater. Do they at least serve coco puffs which is one of my favorite cereals?"

"Well, they pretty much run out of the popular cereals as soon as they open for breakfast if you don't get there on time, but, not to worry, Ace, we can break into the dining hall and get some."

"Breaking into the dining hall… you are nuts, Logan, that is illegal."

Logan laughed. "Ace, relax, I have my own key."

"How did you get a key to the dining hall?" Rory asked in amazement.

"I know a very powerful locksmith."

"What is it with you rich kids and breaking in? A boy at my school was transfer to a military school because he broke into a safe. Last year, I was invited to join this secret society at Chilton and I was tricked into breaking into the Headmaster's office to ring a bell… an act which almost got me suspended."

"For ringing a bell?" Logan laughed.

"Don't remind me, Logan, I learned to hate bells after that." She laughed with him and amazingly surprised that telling the humiliating incident to Logan could be so funny.

"Gee, Ace, there is simply a lot more to you than meets the eye. You should really write a tell-all book if the news reporting job doesn't work out for you."

"Very funny, Logan, but I hate writing about myself as much as I hate saying that you were right about me and how I was acting towards my boyfriend. He didn't come to me, didn't give me a call, message, smoke signal… nothing at all."

He hated that her voice was so soft and indicated pain and hurt when she was telling him that her boyfriend did not even try to reach or contact her. "Rory, I'm so sorry."

"That night in Kyle's bedroom… it wasn't the only time he acted like a jerk. He has been a jerk to my mom, friends, and even to my grandma. And to think that they all have been trying hard for my sake to be nice to him. A few weeks ago he didn't call me when he promised so we could make plans for the weekend. I was so mad at him that night that I went to see the SH High hockey game."

"Did they win?" Logan asked curiously.

"No they lost miserably." Rory replied, thankful that their conversation had lightened up a bit. "Stars Hollow is not well known for its sports, more for its weird traditions and brawls."

"Oh, I must visit more often."

"You should!" She liked that he didn't snub or look down on her town, unlike Jess who actually lived in Stars Hollow.

"Anyway, at the end of the night I got upset and I left Jess a very long message. I don't do that… I am a very strong person, and maybe I might be spoiled but I like being spoiled."

"Um, Ace, I really don't think of you as spoiled."

"I don't mean the Webster Dictionary definition of spoiled, Logan, I meant spoiled in the context of… I like my boyfriend to return my calls and not be vague on making plans with me. My mom would tell me that I was lucky since most girls would have first boyfriends like Brian Hutchins."

"Who?" Logan asked in confusion.

"This guy who told my mom to go steady with him, but she never saw him until the Siddy Hawkins dance or something."

Logan laughed, "No offense, Ace, but the guy you're dating makes that guy look good."

Rory ignored him. "Anyway, after I left Jess that very long message I saw him at the driveway of the high-school gym with Distiller tickets in his hands. Like an idiot I told him to ignore the message and went with him. Logan, I am not that girl who lets a guy appease her with stuff and somehow I became that girl. I don't know why I still stuck with him and put up with him. I guess I wanted this relationship to work out because… maybe because it is worth it."

"Worth what?"

"Losing another relationship over it… Dean broke up with me because I had some feelings for Jess. Worth giving up time with other people because Jess is very particular about the people he hangs out with. He thinks he is intellectually superior than most. A lot of places bug him. He has a lot of hang-ups. On some days, he would remotely act like a boyfriend just like when he agreed to take me to the graduation prom at Stars Hollow High. I could feel like he was maturing, well, more like hoping he was maturing. Then, he would completely turn around and behave badly just like when he was a jerk at Kyle's party. Worth believing that the strong intense crush I had for him was really love."

"Was it love?" Logan asked.

Rory never analyzed or pondered on it closely. "I don't know… I mean I cared about him, but I think a part of me loved the idea of him more than the actual Jess." Rory became emotional and started to cry.

"Ace, you made a mistake of choosing to be with the wrong person… many people do that, but don't make yourself a martyr because of it. And, don't beat yourself over the message you left and the tickets because I'm sure any guy would have listened to the message even if you told him not to. Besides, he still treated you horribly."

"I never thought of it that way… it's amazing how Jess and I are bad at communication. I'm just so stupid."

"No, you're not, Ace. I've seen stupid and you're not stupid. So, where does this leave you two?" Logan was hoping that she would dump that loser once and for all.

"I'm going to call him… give him a piece of my mind. I can't be with him… he is so immature. I'm tired of feeling this way because of him. I also want to hear an explanation as to why he acted that way at the party."

"All of that sounds good, but, promise me you won't give in to him. You are way better than that and deserve better."

Rory smiled. She didn't know why it meant so much to her to hear Logan say those words. They weren't any different from anything Lane or her mother would say, but she felt better hearing those words from him. "I won't, Logan."

For the next hour or so, Rory and Logan continued to talk about everything and anything, comfortable in their easy banter and conversation, unaware of the time but conscious of the enjoyment and pleasure of just talking with each other.

*********

In the morning when Rory took the bus to go to school, she was surprised to see Jess sitting at the back of the bus. She figured now was a good time to go and approach him. A part of her hoped that maybe Jess did care a bit about her to talk to her. She knew it was too late to save their relationship but she felt good - just a little - that he cared about her - somehow.

"Hey." Jess said in his oblivious monosyllabic tone. He had been avoiding her for a few days and all he could utter was hey. Rory was reminded more and more of what she needed to do, but she didn't know how to do it. Confrontation was not her strong suit.

"Can I sit?" Rory asked hoping to stall a little bit before she did what she needed to do. Plus, a part of her was a bit curious to see if Jess would give her an explanation.

"Uh, sure, sit. I thought you took an earlier bus." Jess replied.

'Unbelievable!' Rory thought. She could not believe that Jess didn't come to the bus to talk to her - he seemed to have taken that later bus to avoid her as much as possible.

"My first class got canceled today." Rory flatly uttered.

"Oh. So, what's been going on?"

'What's been going on? Is he serious? That's it!' Rory was stunned, incredulous. She was not going to make anymore small talk with this guy who didn't seem to want to try to work in saving their relationship anymore. "Really, what's going on, Jess? I should be asking you that? One minute you agreed to take me to the prom… next thing I know, you are sulking at Kyle's party, and then, you make a big deal about me not having sex with you that night. I know you get angry easily, Jess, but I never thought you would want to coerce me into something I wasn't ready for. I was willing to cut you some slack… that you would come to me and explain yourself, but you didn't. I didn't do anything to deserve this treatment from you." Rory was tearing up when she uttered those words.

Jess looked wounded and said: "Rory, I'm sorry but I can't go to the prom. I couldn't get tickets."

Rory felt sorry for him for a moment, but it was still too little and too late. "Why didn't you tell me this before you had avoided me? Why couldn't you get the tickets? Did you decide to get into another fight again? And, there's still no excuse for your behavior at Kyle's party."

"See this why I couldn't tell you… you always assume the worst in me."

"Cause you never talked to me. And I never have given you any reason not to trust me. I cared about you, despite what everybody else said about you. I made sacrifices for you. I went to town functions alone just because you found them beneath you. I had to ditch my friends to spend time with you. Yet, you never treated me well. I deserved to be treated like your girlfriend whom you cared about. I'm not Shane or Maria Stewart, I'm a girlfriend girl and I deserve to be treated like one. So, why the hell couldn't you get tickets to the prom?"

"Because I'm not graduating. I missed too many classes." His tone was of annoyance and sadness. For a brief second Rory felt sorry for him but then she realized something that made her incredibly furious.

"Great! You lied to me. I asked you by Lane's house, after the Independence Inn fire, if you were going to school and you lied to me. You even did a rant against my mother… that she had a personal vendetta against you… when the whole time you were lying. I told you I could help you with school if you needed help." Rory was beside herself. She couldn't believe Jess had been so dishonest.

"Rory, I'm sorry about this. I didn't know how to be a boyfriend nor of anything right now. I thought I could handle everything, but I couldn't." His apparent sincerity softened Rory but not enough to change her hardened resolve not to give in to Jess.

"Jess, I appreciate your apology but that doesn't make what you did okay. You're too immature and too aloof and distant to be in a relationship. And, I need someone who is mature and considerate. Someone who respects me. Someone who doesn't snap at me every time he is in a bad mood. Someone who respects my mom and my friends. Jess, I tried to be a good girlfriend but I think that is not enough to make us work. I cannot be and I do not want to be in this relationship anymore. I hope that you will be good, I want you to be good."

In the midst of her speech Rory noticed that the bus had stopped. "This is my stop." She told Jess as she started to go towards the door.

"Okay, but let's work it out. I'll call you."

"Don't bother, Jess, I'm done and I want to move on. I will be going to Yale next school year, and I'm going to Europe this summer. So, goodbye. It's stupid and lame right now, but it's the only words I can say."

She got off the bus with tears streaming down her face. She did not notice that Jess had a duffel bag that contained his belongings with him. He was leaving town after he had moved out of Luke's place. He did not even bother to tell her and say goodbye.

When the bus had driven away, Rory was too shaken to walk to school and felt too weary to attend school. Even though she knew that she might miss something for the finals - that it was not the right thing to do - she did not want to go to school. She was relieved that she was able to say what she said to Jess but was still so shaken especially at the revelation that Jess had lied to her. She needed to do some serious wallowing. She knew her mother would welcome her with open arms, but she was more in the mood to talk to someone else. She took out her phone and called the one person who had been a big part of her life these last few days.

Author's Note: It seems that at the end of every chapter are Rory's phone calls… these are not intentional. I apologize and I will try to be more creative and avoid those phone calls as cliffhangers in the future.