I know you want to rest your head
and just forget the night
So you know I am going to stay right here
And sit by your side
-Light Outside by Wakey!Wakey!

Chapter Eight

"This paper is definitely a huge improvement. My main concern is you still need to tighten your thesis some."

"I know," I replied, supporting my hand with my hand. "I just didn't know what to say."

"Just come out and tell what your purpose in writing the paper is. Don't try to hide it. You don't need to surprise the reader with it halfway through. In the beginning just write through literary devices such as metaphor, simile, and allusions the author expresses themes of immigration and poverty," Esme explained easily, waving her hand in the air.

"When you say it like that it seems so easy."

"Well, I have had many years of practice. You'll get there. Otherwise the paper was great. Your analysis is good and your writing is improving a lot. It's an A paper and I'm not just saying that."

"Thanks."

I knew she wasn't just giving me that grade. Esme was not about handing me a good grade. She wanted me to learn and she felt it was her obligation to make sure I was receiving the education that I should. I appreciated it. I was worried at first that taking classes with Esme would be a bad idea. I couldn't imagine Esme giving me a bad grade or actually teaching me. I was wrong. She had been anything but mean to me, but she had been a fair and honest grader with me and I liked it.

Over the last couple of weeks there had been no spotting of Victoria so life had fallen back into a routine. It wasn't a perfect life, actually it was far from ideal, but at least it was something. I felt like the Cullens were the only thing that was keeping me grounded right now. They were always there for me and I was never left alone without one of them nearby. Usually it was Jasper, but when he would hunt sometimes Esme or Rosalie would take his place. Rosalie had been surprisingly cordial with me, although we were far from friends. She was no longer openly hostile which was a plus.

Jasper was spending a lot of time with me, but things were still odd between us. We had never been friends with each other before any of this happened and it was taking a while for us to adjust to one another. It was weird to have a vampire with me at all times that wasn't Edward. Jasper was different than him yet sometimes so similar. It was hard because sometimes Jasper touching my hand or looking into his eyes would cause a wave of sadness to course through me. However, other times he would act so different. There was a roughness to his voice that I had never heard another vampire have. It was still melodious, but there was a bit of gruffness, sometimes a southern lilt would slip in. Jasper also didn't seem to participate in my life that much. He hovered a lot, always a few steps behind me, following me through my routines. We would talk sometimes, but more often than not we would just go through the day in companionable silence.

The most positive change that has happened over the last couple of weeks was Jacob and Jasper becoming friends. They found that they had a lot in common and it was nice that these two parts of my life were not at odds with each other. Jacob had even come by the Cullens' house one time. Once he got past the smell he said it was a nice house. He really enjoyed looking at the cars. Rosalie begrudgingly warmed up to him when he showed the right appreciation for the vehicles. He praised her maintenance on the cars. She responded by telling him it was slightly respectable that he had built up his car, especially for a teenage boy.

I think the worse part of the whole situation was the Cullen house. I visited it almost every day because that is where I did my lessons with Esme. We would have 'class' in my room most days. I had to take an English class and a History class. Normally, I would have found going to the Cullens' everyday pleasant, but the house was different now. Before it had felt so lived in, there was always some sort of activity going on. But now there was nothing. Everybody was left in solitude. Usually Rosalie was out in the garage tinkering with the cars. The few times I was there not to study with Esme she was usually cleaning the already immaculate house. Carlisle was always holed up in his study. The most worrisome was Emmett who would just sit and watch tv. It was not necessarily anything good either. I don't think he was paying any attention to what he was really watching.

"Well, I think that is everything for today. Why don't you take the evening off? We can work on thesis writing tomorrow," Esme offered.

"Thanks, that sounds good."

"Do you want me to go get Jasper to take you home?"

"No, I thought I would go say hi to Emmett."

"Okay dear. I think he is in the living room. I'm going to go down to the kitchen to do a little cleaning," Esme smiled softly at me, before heading down to the kitchen.

I turned off the lights before exiting the room. I walked downstairs slowly, turning into the front room. Sure enough Emmett was lounging on a couch. He had his legs up on a coffee table, and his right arm sprawled across the back of the couch. He didn't look like he was enjoying the show much. I don't know if he was even paying attention. I walked in front of the television and sat down next to him. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye.

"What's up Bella?" He asked casually.

"Oh, I just got done with my lessons with Esme. I am a little tired so I thought I would come and see what you are watching." As if to accent my point I leaned into his hard frame and curled up snuggly. He responded almost instantaneously by putting his arm around me.

"I don't actually know what I'm watching. I haven't been paying attention for the last couple of hours. Let's see." He picked up the remote and checked the guide. It displayed that we were currently watching some science show about Jupiter.

We watched in silence for a few minutes, before I dug up the courage to speak. "What were you thinking about for the last couple of hours?"

Emmett sighed and narrowed his eyes slightly, as if trying to focus on something. "Well, I kind of was just thinking about Edward and Alice. I know it's been almost two months, but I keep stopping to think about what happened."

"It's not something we are just going to get over."

"I know. I just feel like I should be able to push past this better. Anytime something bad has happened before I've been able to move on quickly. I know it's the logical thing to do now. There is nothing I can do about Alice and Edward and I know they wouldn't want me wasting my life by watching science shows on the Discovery channel. But, it's just hard."

"I think you feel guilty about not being there and that is what's not allowing you to let go."

Emmett's face scrunched up when I said that. "I should have been there. I'm the strongest in the family. Maybe I might have been able to hold off the Voluturi long enough for them to get away. I just wish I had been there."

"You can't blame yourself," I stated bluntly.

"I don't think it's that simple."

"It isn't, but you have to try and start somewhere."

Emmett's face softened a little as he thought about what I said. He finally spoke up after a few minutes. "Why is it that you are comforting and advising me? I should be doing that for you."

"You have been, since we got back you have all been there for me. Now it's my turn to be there for you. It's a give and take situation."

"I told Jasper you would be our saving grace," Emmett spoke almost more to himself than me.

"Really?"

"Yeah. You are a one of a kind person."

"Thank you, Emmett. Now how about let's play a game. What game systems do you have?"

Emmett looked at me a little dubiously before speaking. "All of them. But I've never seen you play games before."

"Just because you haven't seen it doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Now, when you say all of them, I am guessing you are not exaggerating."

Emmett got off the couch and walked over the wooden entertainment system. To the side were numerous cupboards that I had wondered what was in them. They had their dvd's on the bookshelves on the other wall. He opened the cupboard and all along the shelves were plastic containers with neat labels on the side, identifying what system was in each container. There was even an Atari system. I scanned them, not knowing where to start. I really hadn't played that many games over the years, just the occasional game at a friend's house. Renee thought that games fostered violence and that if I played too many of them then I would bring a gun to school.

"Do you have Mario Kart for the Nintendo 64?"

"Of course." Emmett grinned as he took the container out and started to set up the system. In a matter of seconds I was sitting there with a controller in my hand; the tv screen changed to show the start menu for the game. Emmett plopped down next to me, his own controller in his hand. I glanced at his face and I think it was the first time I had seen any of the Cullens look like I remembered them before they left.

He pressed start and we had to decide what game we were going to play. "Do you want to do battle or do you want to race?"

"I have a feeling you would beat me at battle. At least with racing I can shoot for second place."

Emmett chuckled under his breath, confirming my suspicions that he was good at this game. "What difficulty?"

"Start off on the lowest. I haven't played this game since elementary school when I was at a friend's house."

"Fair enough. Although that won't be any challenge for me. Let's do Mushroom Cup as well to ease you back into things."

We got to pick our characters and I really wasn't familiar with the Mario world so I just picked a random mushroom guy. Emmett opted for the giant gorilla. Why did that not surprise me? The race started off as I expected with me lagging way behind. It took me a while to get reacquainted with the controls, but soon I got the hang of it. I even came in second place in the second race. On the fourth race I was actually keeping pace with Emmett and I beat him. That was when the trash talking started to happen. Both of us were laughing hard. Jasper turned from the computer he was sitting at to look at us, his face showing amusement. Slowly Rosalie, Esme, and Carlisle drifted into the front room and looked in at us with puzzled looks. I doubt there had been this much laughing, or any noise for that matter, over the last several weeks.

Rosalie seemed to jump out of her reverie first by announcing, "After this round I want to join in."

Even more surprising was that the next to speak was Esme. "I'll play too."

"Carlisle and I will play the winners on the round after that then."

And just like that, we were all playing. Carlisle moved the coffee table and all of us lounged around the front room, passing controls between one another. I moved down on the floor to let Rosalie sit down next to Emmett. She threw her legs across Emmett's lap, leaning against the side of the couch. Esme and Carlisle were lying down on their stomachs facing the tv. Jasper was sitting next to me, leaning against the couch. When I wasn't playing a race, I would lean against Jasper, relaxing into his form.

We paused for a few minutes when my stomach started to grumble. Carlisle suggested he order a pizza for me. While he ordered on his cell phone, I used the house phone to call Charlie to tell him I wouldn't be coming until later.

"Hi there Bells."

"Hi, dad, I just wanted to say I am going to stay at the Cullens for dinner. Can you take care of yourself?"

"Oh, sure I can. Enjoy yourself. If you want to stay longer that's fine. I'm going fishing with Billy early tomorrow and I was thinking of just staying at their house because we are going to fish on Sunday too since the weather is supposed to be nice this weekend. I'm not going to be home much and it would actually make me feel better if you were staying with someone."

I was happy to hear that Charlie was going to get out of the house. He had been spending so much time with me lately and taking care of me that I was worried he wasn't getting out much. "That's great Dad. I'm pretty sure that the Cullen's won't mind if I stay the weekend."

Carlisle looked up at this and nodded his head. "We'd be happy to have you."

"Yup, dad, that's good."

"Do I need to bring you by anything?"

"Nope, I think they have everything I need here."

"Good girl. Well, have a fun weekend and I will see you on Sunday."

"Sounds good dad. Thanks."

I clicked the phone off and set it by me on the floor and leaned back against the couch. There was a sudden loud groan as Emmett won the race. I focused back in on the scores and saw that Carlisle was in first, with Rosalie and Emmett tied for second, and Jasper was in fourth place. Emmett had yet to be in the bottom two, thus making it so he has played every round. There was one more race and Rosalie had to beat him in order for her to stay in the game. The mood was tense as the family could taste Emmett's rule being toppled.

The race started with Carlisle soon out maneuvering the rest as Yoshi. He was well ahead of Emmett and Rosalie who were neck and neck. The final lap came and I could tell Rosalie was getting frustrated, but she didn't say anything at first, totally concentrated on the race. Jasper was smirking to himself, probably able to feel the tension between Rosalie and Emmett. Finally things came to a head on the final stretch when Rosalie whispered in a sultry voice, "If you don't let me win then no sex for a month."

I couldn't stop the laugh from escaping me when without hesitations Emmett swerved to side of the track, turning around completely, giving Rosalie the win. The rest of the family joined in on the laughter except for Emmett who tossed his controller to me, a little too forcefully I thought. Jasper handed Esme the remote while standing to go answer the door, although it had yet to ring. I think they heard the delivery man drive up. Sure enough a few minutes later Jasper came in with a plate, some paper towels and the box of pizza. Jasper set it on the floor in front of me. After the race I bent to grab a piece of pizza, but Rosalie was pushing the button too fast to start the race up again. I had the remote in one hand and a slice of pizza in the other. I didn't know what to do? I think Jasper saw my puzzlement.

"Here, I'll race for you." And before I knew it I was scooted forward a little bit and I was sitting in between Jasper's legs. He had the remote in front of me, so it was kind of like I was racing, but he handled the controls while I took a bite of my pizza.

"Now I don't know about this. You have lost the last two times. I can race better than you."

Jasper chuckled under his breath. "Well, since I am representing your honor then I will have to put extra effort into it."

Carlisle looked over at us and smiled. He seemed to be examining something for a minute before speaking. "Now Bella I want you to eat that whole pizza."

I rolled my eyes at him before taking a large bite of the slice. It was delicious and it was the first time since before the accident that I felt completely hungry. I had eaten of course because I as practically forced to by everybody around me. It wasn't hard to keep the food down and it wasn't completely horrible. It just felt a little odd, like I really didn't need the food. However, tonight I just felt famished and it didn't seem that unlikely that I could eat the entire pizza in front of me.

I scarfed down four slices before I felt satisfied. By that time Jasper had won one round of races in my name. I leaned back into his chest. Jasper made to give me the controller, but I shrugged his hand away. "I am raced out. I just want to watch right now."

Rosalie tossed down a throw blanket from the back of the couch and I thankfully took it, wrapping it around me and snuggling into Jasper's chest. He was a lot taller than me, even taller than Edward, so I felt completely encompassed in his arms, and safe. Before I knew what was happening I was drifting off to sleep.

I wouldn't say that today was the best day of my life, far from it. But, it was such a bright spot in a list of monotonous, dreary days. The physical relief of the whole family being together, laughing and having fun felt so amazing. I felt lighter and happier than I had in a long time and it was all to do with the beautiful creature that was in my arms. I had handed the controller off to Emmett after I lost the last round. Now I placed my arms protectively around Bella and soaked up her warmth that was seeping through the blanket that was between us. I took a deep breath and her blood, which normally would have burned my throat, barely bothered me. The sensation in the back of my throat was more akin to a tickle than anything else. I couldn't deny that Bella's blood was appetizing, but I now knew that keeping her safe was much more important than any physical urges I had. I felt that somewhere Edward and Alice were proud of me and they would be happy that I was looking after Bella.

After a few more races we had gone through all of the tracks and were bored with them. So, we called it a night on the videogames. I stood up, bringing Bella with me in my arms. I carried her up the stairs and into her room. While still holding her in one arm, I pulled back the covers of her bed and laid her down. I tucked the covers around her snuggly and sat back in one of the overstuffed chairs, pulling a random book off the shelf to read. However, I didn't get past the first page. The emotions swirling around me amazed me. Not only was Bella truly and peacefully asleep without my help, but she was completely calm. It was the first time she felt like this without my help.

Then there were the emotions that were downstairs. The family had been collectively discontented recently. The grief of course was there, but it seemed to have torn small holes throughout the family, and we were all so distant from each other. We barely had done anything together, mostly sticking to our solitary activities. However, everything seemed to have shifted. Downstairs Esme and Rosalie were discussing some plans that Esme had to landscape the back yard. Emmett and Carlisle were planning a hunting trip tomorrow up in the Cascades to catch some big bears. The atmosphere was not completely as it used to be, after all, the house was missing Alice's carefree mood and Edward's artistic nature. However, there was lightness in the air that had not been there in a while. Maybe tomorrow everyone would return to their melancholy, but I doubted it. I think things had changed more permanently and it was all to do with Bella. I wanted to do something nice for her as a thank you. Something fun she would enjoy. I had just the idea.

I ran up to my room quickly and retrieved my laptop and ran back down to Bella's room. I checked a few sites and made the plans I needed. Bella shifted in her sleep a little, curling around one of the pillows. She let out a contented sigh before settling back into her sleep. I felt my insides warm a little to see her at peace. If there was hope for her, maybe there was hope for me as well. She had helped my family so much just today and by proxy she had helped herself. I think Emmett was right when he said that Bella was going to be our saving grace.

I let her wake up naturally the next morning around 9 am. I could tell she felt contented and rested for the first time.

"Wow, I feel really good," Bella noted, almost more to herself than to me.

"Well, it was the first time that I didn't have to use my powers to keep the nightmares at bay. You were relatively peaceful last night, only talking in your sleep a few times."

"What did I say?"

"Oh just something about Emmett being too good at racing or something."

Bella sighed in relief to hear that what she said was relatively harmless. "That's good." She stretched, giving out a large yawn before rolling out of bed. She looked around her, a little confused and I imagine she forgot about having to shower and change when Charlie asked last night if she needed anything.

"Esme already stocked the bathroom across the hallway with all of your essential toiletries. And I think in the dresser over there she put some clothes she bought for you."

She went over to the dresser and opened a couple drawers pulling out a couple of items. There was a small sense of sadness in her. "What is it?"

"Oh, it's just that these clothes are so me," she pointed towards the pair of jeans and cotton shirt in her hand. "It just made me feel a little sad to think of the clothes that Alice probably would have gotten for me."

"Well, if it makes it feel you any better, those are probably designer jeans and t-shirts. It's expensive to look like the girl next door."

Bella gave a small chuckle. "Not if you shop at Target." Bella walked out and into the bathroom for her usual morning routine.

I decided to head downstairs to see what the family was up to. I had heard some laughing from Emmett earlier along with some banging around in the kitchen. Those two sounds could not be a good combination. Sure enough when I came downstairs I was greeted by a slightly frazzled Esme trying to shoo Emmett out of the kitchen. Emmett shuffled over to the kitchen nood and sat down at the table, seeming to see Esme was serious about him getting out of the kitchen.

"What is going on here? Is that a pancake on the ceiling?" I glanced up, kind of shocked to see food on the usually spotless ceiling.

"Yes," Esme replied tersely.

I turned to Emmett and raised my eyebrows, silently asking him to elaborate. He got the hint. "I offered to help her cook Bella breakfast and well, I got a little too enthusiastic flipping the pancakes. I just thought it was funny and I wanted to see if I could get another one to stick."

"I, however, think that one is enough," Esme cut into the conversation, concentrating on the food she was cooking.

"Anything I can do to help?" I offered, genuinely trying to soothe Esme. She however took it the wrong way when she hissed in response. I didn't push it and went and sat down with Emmett at the table in the back of the kitchen.

A few minutes later Bella came down the stairs, surprisingly quickly considering her tendency to fall down them. She came into the kitchen, more energy in her step than I had seen in a long time. I was wondering how often I would have to do that, compare old Bella to new Bella. It was so odd to think that all of these different versions of her will still in the end her.

"Mmmm, that smells good Esme," Bella noted before reaching into the fridge to grab some juice. She poured herself a glass and leaned back against the counter to drink it. She was in mid gulp when she paused and then brought the glass away from her lips. I followed her eyes to see what made her pause. I laughed, already knowing what it was. "Is that a pancake up there?"

Esme rolled her eyes and Emmett laughed, filling the room with the booming sound. "That is all me. I got carried away when I attempted to flip the pancakes."

This made Bella laugh as well, a full belly laugh that had not been heard in months. I glanced quickly at Emmett and Esme, seeing if they noted Bella's laugh as well. Sure enough they did. They both had a small smile on their face as Bella's laugh rang out. It was not as melodious as a vampire's, but it was just as beautiful.

"Okay, I think these are edible. The first couple were coming out burnt, but these look good. I decided to start out easy with making breakfast." Esme presented a small stack of pancakes to Bella who took them eagerly. She set them down on the table next to me, before running back to the fridge to grab some syrup and butter. She doused the stack in both ingredients before diving into them. She seemed to enjoy them as she ate eagerly.

"These are delicious Esme and I'm not just saying that."

Esme was very pleased at these words. She gave Bella an appraising look, seeming to like what she saw before turning back to the mess that she and Emmett had created. She glared briefly at the ceiling before setting to work on the more obvious mess around the stove.

Bella was oblivious to any of this as she ate her pancakes. She polished off the whole stack before leaning back in her chair and sighing appreciatively.

"So, are you ready for the day?" I asked Bella.

"What are we doing?" She was instantly curious.

"It's a surprise."

"You know, I am not that fond of surprises," she commented coolly.

"I figured as much but you can just deal with it. There is nothing outrageous to be scared of. We are just going to head down to Olympia for a relaxing day."

"What's in Olympia?"

"Many things." I didn't really want to give any more information.

"Well, I hope I am dressed appropriately because I don't want to change."

"You are fine. Now will you stop worrying; today will be fun. I'll take care of you." That sentence seemed to have a positive effect on her, because she calmed down noticeably. I got up and held out my hand to help her up. "Trust me."

"I do," Bella whispered, taking my hand and joining me.

"You two have a good day," Esme chimed in. "Call us if you need anything." She said this more to me than Bella.

I nodded in reply and escorted Bella out of the house through the front door.

"Are we taking my truck?"

"Yup, and no peaking in the back because I have some stuff that will be used later in the day. Do you mind if I drive?"

"Sure," Bella responded easily. "It's nice that you ask. Edward would always just either assume or force me out of the way when he wanted to drive." Bella stopped abruptly, realizing what she had said. She tried to backtrack. "I mean, that was only some of the time and I know he was really just concerned with my safety…" Bella trailed off not knowing really how to continue.

"No, he was more of a control freak than anything else," I finished for her.

"I don't know if that is exactly fair to say."

I felt Bella's insecurities and it bothered me a little as we both got in the vehicle and I started us out of town, getting on 101. "You know it is okay to say bad things about Edward. He wasn't perfect."

"I know."

"Are you sure? Sometimes it feels like you don't. You put him on such a pedestal and nobody else is ever going to live up to that."

"It's not like I am ever going to be involved with anybody else. I mean Edward was everything to me and I don't think anybody could replace him. I gave him my entire heart."

"You never know who may come along in the future. You shouldn't close yourself off to that possibility and that is what you are doing when you judge everybody in comparison to Edward. He wasn't perfect and nobody else is so you shouldn't expect it."

Now Bella was getting defensive. She brought her legs up to her chest and crossed her arms in front in front of them. "It's not that easy. To me he was perfect and it seems wrong to say anything bad about him. I mean he is dead, there is no use in it."

"I am not saying you should go out of your way to start bashing Edward, but don't turn a blind eye to his faults. Be realistic about him."

"Can you do that about Alice?" Bella asked, a little accusatory.

Something inside of me clenched defensively at the thought of saying anything bad about Alice. I mean she had been everything to me and my sole reason for sticking to this lifestyle. How could I desecrate her in anyway by pointing out her faults? Once I realized my line of thinking I knew I was being hypocritical and if I wanted Bella to follow my advice, I would have to as well. Bella seemed to realize that I was having this internal struggle because she turned her body towards me slightly, an eyebrow raised in question.

"Alice would put me in the most ridiculous clothes sometimes. My favorite pair of shoes in the entire world is this pair of black converse." I pointed towards my feet that were on the pedals. "But she hated them and would try to throw them out. She said they were so worn out and disgusting. I would argue with her that they were comfortable to run in because they were so flat. It was as close to being barefoot one could get while still having shoes. She would have none of this and insisted on buying me hundreds of pairs of designer shoes, especially cowboy boots. She said I was such a southern gentleman that I should look the part. Now, I like a pair of boots as much as the next southerner, but that doesn't mean I want to wear them all of the time."

Bella was silent for a minute, contemplating what I said. I could feel that she was struggling with something internally. I realized saying something negative about Alice, probably also went against Bella's moral code. She truly was too generous to us. It took her a little time to finally speak up. "Alice was so stubborn about clothes. I can't count the outrageous outfits that she tried to get me to wear. She never listened to me about how I just was more comfortable in jeans and blouses. I mean considering my tendency to fall, I really hated to wear skirts, but she never listened. She had a one track mind. I still miss her though," Bella said as if trying to reconcile what she had spoken about Alice.

"I know. I do too."

Silence filled the cab. I was glad she had said that. I knew it was hard to say, but we couldn't live with unreasonable pictures of Alice and Edward. That would just make us cling to them even harder. We had to remember the good with the bad, and just do our best to move on.

The silence reminded me of one of the many parts of the day I had planned. I reached over to the glove compartment and pulled out a small cd case. Bella eyed it and for the first time she noticed the new stereo system that was now in her dash.

"What is that?"

"It's your new cd player. Emmett's wanted a new one in his jeep for a while so he pulled out his old one and put it in here. Sorry it's used, but I figured you wouldn't care. I had hoped that since we didn't spend money on it you would be more receptive to accepting it, not that you really have a choice."

Knowing her argument about spending money was now shot, she tried a different approach. "I don't know why you wasted the effort. It's not like I listen to music anyways. I told you that."

"That's what is in here." I waved the cd folder, handing it to her to look at. "There are five mixes in there to get you started. Each member of the family put together some of their favorite music to give you something to listen to that didn't remind you of Edward. Instead you can think of that person while you listen to them. So who do you want to listen to first?"

I flipped through the booklet; five cd's were each graced with one of the Cullens' names on it. I had assumed with Edward's perfect script that all vampires had neat handwriting. However by the look of Emmett's scrawling words and Jasper's jagged writing, it was not the case. I had no idea where to begin. I guess the one that intrigued me the most was Rosalie. I couldn't imagine her making a cd for me. She was no longer hostile, but I couldn't get my mind to wrap around any other image of her other than her being cold and distant. I slid the cd out of its plastic sleeve and slid it in the player.

Once the first track played, Jasper nodded appreciatively. "Good choice. Rosalie has excellent music taste, leaning towards the classic rock and old school punk genres. If you want to see the names of the songs, everybody wrote down the tracks on their mix. I put the papers in one of the further sleeves."

Sure enough a couple of pages through the booklet there were some folded up pages stuffed in the plastic. I pulled out the one with Rosalie written on the outside and opened it up. According to the list this was Brain Damage by Pink Floyd.

"I know Pink Floyd and Dark Side of the Moon are clichéd classic rock, but there is a reason for it. They are really good and that album is near perfection."

And that is how the ride continued for a couple of hours. We listened to music, me soaking up the new sounds, while Jasper would make the occasional commentary on what we were listening, telling me whether or not he approved of the choice.

We got through Rosalie's mix, which I really enjoyed. Some of the punk was a little too out there for me, but I still liked a lot of the songs. I found I was a Creedence Clearwater Revival fan, who knew? Carlisle's mix was next and it was a lot of big band music. There were tons of jazz pieces, that leaned towards the brassier 40s sound. I liked it, although I knew it really wasn't something I would listen to every day. Esme's cd had a mix of softer jazz, although Jasper was quick to clarify that there was no smooth jazz on it as that would not be tolerated, along with some vocal music. One artist, Norah Jones, was particularly soothing which was nice. I knew Esme's cd would be useful in doing homework and reading. Emmett's was the craziest. He had everything on his cd and it wouldn't surprise me if he took joy in trying to make the cd as random as possible. There was hardcore hip hop, pop, rock, and even some country music. Jasper laughed at almost every song as if each song was a personal joke, for which it could have been. Jasper's cd I liked about equally as Rosalie's. His had a little classic rock on it, but he leaned towards the blues and southern genres. There was some Johnny Cash, Muddy Waters, and Chuck Berry.

Eventually, 101 started into more populated areas and soon faded into the sprawl that was the Olympia, Lacey, and Tumwater area. I had only been to Olympia a couple of times with Alice when she was desperate to hit up a mall. Even then, she was disappointed in the selection of stores in Olympia and usually preferred to make the extra hour and half drive to the shopping district in Seattle. As we merged onto I-5, Jasper pointed out our destination, the dome of the capital building that was visible towering above the tree line. It's dark grey exterior loomed above Olympia, contrasted beautifully with the dark green trees surrounding it.

"Hungry?" Jasper asked as we exited.

"Famished," I admitted. The pancakes from earlier felt like ages ago.

"Well, I have a picnic lunch packed and I thought you could eat on the capital lawn."

"We're going to the actual building?" I asked dubiously.

"Have you ever been to it?"

"Can't say that I have."

"It's a nice building and the grounds are really pretty."

Jasper parked the truck and I pushed my door open and hopped out of the cab. "Well, lead the way."

Jasper did. He grabbed a cooler and blanket from the back of the truck and headed out of the parking lot. There were numerous large, grey buildings with trees everywhere. The lawns and gardens were perfectly manicured. I vaguely wondered how much money they spent on hiring people to maintain the grounds. We rounded a corner and I could see the official capital building rising up in front of me. I had to admit it was very impressive. The exterior was worn and weathered giving the building a noble look.

Jasper led the way to a large fountain that was spraying up large amounts of water. It wasn't particularly fancy, but the streams of water were soothing and helped to drown out the traffic on the main street. Jasper sat down the cooler and spread out the flannel blanket that he had brought along. I plopped down onto the blanket, sitting cross legged. Jasper mirrored my position, pulling the small cooler over, handing it to me.

"Esme packed the food, so there is no need to be concerned."

I smiled at this. Jasper's knowledge of food and what went well together was very limited. One time he made me a sandwich consisting of mayonnaise, ham, and peanut butter. I had taken a bite without thinking and had proceeded to spit it out. He had looked disappointed in himself, so I showed him that these ingredients were great for making a sandwich, just not on the same one. He was slowly learning, but it took time.

I opened the lid and glanced inside. There was a plain sandwich wrapped neatly in saran wrap, a bottle of water, a can of soda, an apple, and a chocolate pudding cup. I dived in, greedily unwrapping the sandwich first. I bit into the bologna sandwich, pleased that there was only mayonnaise and cheese on it.

Jasper made sure I was happy with my lunch, before leaning back and laying down on the grass. It was kind of nice that he didn't watch me eat. Sometimes it had been unnerving how much Edward would stare while I would eat, him just watching as I took each bite. Jasper mostly ignored me. It didn't seem like he was purposely doing it, but just that he found other things more interesting, which was fine by me. It put less pressure, making sure that I didn't have crumbs on my chin or something. I ate my food quickly, giving out a small burp after downing half of the can of root beer. I sighed pleasantly glancing over at Jasper. A few stray curls were falling into his eyes. I leaned forward gently swiping my fingers across his forehead, pushing the hairs aside. He glanced at me, his small smile reaching his eyes which made my heart sore. He looked more peaceful than he had in a long time.

"Enjoying the beautiful sky," I noted, waving towards the solid mass above us. It was a relatively warm day, but the sun still was not going to make an appearance today. I was thankful for that.

"Actually I was. There won't be many more days like this in the future and I will once again be trapped indoors."

I thought back to last summer with Edward. Washington summers were full of sunny days, contrary to popular belief. Edward and I had spent many hours outdoors, him showing me his favorite places in the surrounding woods. I remember us inviting Alice to join us, but she opted to stay indoors more often than not. Besides hunting, she did not enjoy many outdoor activities. I don't think we actually ever invited Jasper; personally I assumed that because Alice wasn't going he wouldn't. Maybe the reason he had stayed indoors so often before, was not out of choice, but out of lack of invitations out.

"Maybe, this summer you and I can go outside, away from pesky humans. I'm sure there are numerous places we can go out of the public eye."

Jasper's smile widened and it made me feel warm inside knowing that I had made that happen. I fulfilled my hope that I could make his whole face brighten. It was a lovely feeling knowing that I did that.

"I would love that. If we get really desperate I'm sure we can borrow Carlisle's car and just go for drives."

"Sounds great. This summer should be good."

'"If you're done eating then I think we can head off to our next destination."

"Which is?" I was curious as to what he had planned out with me in mind.

"I don't know how much you have thought about college, but I thought we could visit two of the schools in town today. There is Evergreen State College and then South Puget Sound Community College. They're both good schools and would allow you to attend school not that far from Charlie."

I looked down at my hands contemplating what he had said. "I had actually not thought about college that much lately. Edward had been so pushy about making sure I got into a really good school. I kind of dropped the whole thing since he left. Since I will probably be changed in the near future I really hadn't thought about going to school."

"I completely understand, but I just want to make sure you have options. You don't have to, but I hear it is a very important human experience."

I looked up as he told me this. "Wait, have you never been to college."

It was Jasper's turn to drop his eyes. "Forks is the first time that I have actually completed high school. I have attempted it over the years, but my control had been less than stellar. I've taken a course or two online, but there is only so many interesting online courses."

"If I attended college for a quarter or two, would you go with me?"

"I was thinking about it, if you didn't mind. I think Rosalie and Emmett kind of wanted to take some classes again. They are tired of the whole high school scene."

"I don't have to live in a dorm though, do I?" I hesitated at the thought of living with some random stranger, or worse with Rosalie. I internally shuttered at the thought.

"Nah, you and I can live in an apartment or house if you want. I suggest that you don't live with Rosalie and Emmett. They really do like their alone time." Jasper smirked at this comment.

"What about Esme and Carlisle?"

"I talked with them last night, the idea of you maybe taking some classes. They liked the idea a lot, but they thought they might just stay in Forks for the time being. They thought they would give us 'kids' the true college experience."

I emotionally cringed at the idea of leaving Carlisle and Esme. I really had grown to depend on them in the last couple of weeks. Jasper sensed these emotions and continued on. "They won't be far, just a quick drive the way we vampires drive. Even if you wanted to go to school out of state, we have numerous credit cards for last minute plane tickets."

I felt relieved at that, but something he said caught my interest. "So, I'm picking the school we are going to. Don't you or Rosalie and Emmett have input on the decision."

"Emmett and Rosalie don't really care that much, they just want a change of pace. I think they are getting a little claustrophobic in Forks, especially with everything that has happened. As for me, there is plenty of time for me to go to any school I want down the line. You get the first pick."

I couldn't help but think did he really have all the time in the world. I bet Alice and Edward had thought the same thing. I had thought of vampires as being untouchable. Now, I knew first hand how even the immortal could be taken away from you. However, I really didn't want to dampen the conversation. He was being so sweet to me and trying to give me a chance to do something positive. I really did appreciate that. "So we are visiting two of my choices today?"

"Yes. I thought you probably didn't really want to be too far from Charlie so these were my first guesses for you. However, there are still tons of in-state and out-state schools that you can choose from. You name the school that you want to go to and I will make the plans."

"You mean make the appropriate bribes for them to accept my late application?" I quirked an eyebrow up.

Jasper shrugged non-chalantly. "Well, that too."

The rest of the afternoon was one of the most relaxing days I had experienced. Jasper and I wandered over the two campuses, enjoying ourselves immensely. Both campuses were full of greenery and the bustling of students going places, even though it was a Saturday. I had to admit that the Evergreen campus had a particular smell to it and when I mentioned it to Jasper, he just chuckled, not telling me what the smell was. SPSCC, as I learned to call it, had a smaller vibe and was simple. I liked it a lot and would look up later what kind of courses they offered.

After the school tours Jasper took me to a bookstore downtown called Orca Books. He told me they had both used and new books making it so you could find almost anything there. I looked at him a little dubiously when I surveyed the size of the store, but I walked in anyways. I was quickly assaulted with numerous political books, not leaving any question in my mind what kind of political leanings the owners had. However, once I got past those displays I found shelves upon shelves packed with books. There was a heavenly smell of paper permeating the air. I took a turn down a random shelf and started to peruse through the books aimlessly. Jasper left me to browse on my own while he went in search of a few books.

I scoured every inch of that bookstore, glancing at every shelf. We must have been there for over an hour, but Jasper never complained. He would find me every now and again, making sure that I was doing okay before he thought of something else to look up and would disappear down another row of books. Considering how small the store was it truly did hold a lot of books and I had a small stack in my hands as I made my way to find Jasper and tell him that I was done. Jasper glanced through my titles, mumbling his approval when he came across Cannery Row by John Steinbeck in my pile.

"I really enjoyed Of Mice and Men and I thought I would try another one of his books."

"You chose a good one. I love that book," Jasper replied, taking the stack from my hand to add to his own books as he led us to the checkout counter.

I eyed a few stickers on the counter with amusement before turning my attention to the girl who was scanning each of the books. I was curious as to what Jasper had picked out. Below my large pile of books were three that Jasper had picked out. There was a biography if Teddy Roosevelt, a history of the Rough Riders, and then randomly the latest Harry Potter book. I couldn't contain the giggle that escaped my mouth.

Jasper glared at me. "What? I heard somebody saying that Dumbledore got killed in this book so of course I have to find out for myself what happens."

I just shook my head and decided not to respond as he paid with one of the numerous credit cards that lived in the little sleeves of his wallet. He took the bag full of our books from the worker, giving her a beautiful smile that made her freeze for a brief moment. Poor girl, I thought to myself, knowing exactly how she feels.

"So where are we going next?" I asked Jasper as I climbed back into the truck. I hoped it was to food as my stomach started to make a gurgling sound in protest.

As if reading my mind, or hearing my stomach, Jasper answered, "I thought we could get some dinner. There are a couple good choices in this area, well that is according to a guide I found online. It all depends on what kind of food you feel like."

I gave this some thought. I instinctively was going to say Italian, but decided against it when I remembered Edward and my first date. I blurted out the next thing that came out of my head. "How about a burger?"

Jasper paused briefly, possibly sifting through his mental list that he had memorized. "Sure thing. There is a place not that far from here, although it is not a restaurant so we won't be able to sit down, but it is supposed to have the best burgers and milkshakes."

"Sounds good to me." It would be better if it wasn't a restaurant. That meant he wasn't staring at me for the whole meal.

We drove through downtown and back up the hill towards Westside Olympia. Jasper pulled off the road next to a small building. It looked too small to produce any kind of food, but plastered to the side of the outside was a rather large menu to select from. I really didn't feel like reading the whole list so I just ordered a cheeseburger, fries, and a blackberry milkshake. We waited for about five minutes, listening to the radio, before a man brought out the food in a brown bag sporting grease stains towards bottom of the bag. Once I had the food in my hand Jasper started to drive again, heading out of town.

"Are we heading back to Forks?"

"Not yet," he replied simply, not elaborating on our plans.

I shrugged my shoulder, as if my sheer curiosity was not burning a hole in my brain. I reached in took a bite of my fry and gave an appreciative moan. I ate while Jasper got us back onto the highway, heading back North. However, we took the wrong side of the junction to head back to Forks. According to the sign we were heading towards Shelton and Port Angeles. The other direction was the faster way around the peninsula. I had no idea what could be in these towns that would be of any interest to me. Jasper should have been able to feel my confusion but he did nothing to alleviate it. He just kept driving, leaning back in a relaxed position with a small smile resting on his lips. Fine, I would just finish my meal. I sucked down some more of the thick blackberry shake, inhaling yet another chunk of a berry. It was easily one of the best milkshakes I had ever had. The burger and fries were good as well, and by the time I was done I felt completely satisfied.

The truck slowed down as Jasper exited. There were a few building, a gas station, restaurant, and a car dealership. A large sign was adorned with the name Taylor Towne. I looked around trying to find something that would bring us here. That's when I spotted it, down the road we had turned onto. Jasper's grinned as my excitement grew anticipating where we were going. In front was a large marquee that was faded, looking like it was built in the 50's and had yet to be replaced. The Skyline Theater had two movies playing tonight. I bounced in my seat a little, looking forward to going to the drive in theater.

Jasper pulled the truck up next to the booth and paid for us both, listening to the man's instructions that we could park in the last third of the parking lot. Jasper then drove us through and around the fence to the actual lot with the theater. He parked towards the rear of the lot by backing into the space, so the bed of the truck was facing the screen. I looked at him in question.

"Haven't you ever been to a drive in movie?"

I shook my head, "nope."

"We can sit in the cab and watch the movie that way, but personally I think the best way to enjoy the movie is to lay in the back of a truck."

That actually sounded good, so I pushed my door open to move towards the back of the truck. I pulled the tailgate down and was about to boost myself in the back when Jasper took me by the waist and simply seated me in the back.

"You know I could have done it by myself?"

"Without getting a concussion?" Jasper retorted quickly.

He had me there so I dropped the subject. I looked at the front of the bed and saw a large stack of blankets and pillows, another cooler, and a grocery bag. "You really thought of everything."

Jasper shrugged at my comment. "I try." He hopped into the back of the truck and quickly started to arrange the pillows against the wall to the cab and laid some of the blankets down onto the bed of the truck. He then pulled a couple more blankets to the side for me to actually use. He took a seat, using some of the pillows and putting a blanket on his lap. I assumed he didn't need it but just did it to keep up with human appearances. He patted the seat next to him and I crawled over quickly, pulling a blanket over to me. I sat down as close as I could to Jasper, placing the blanket over my own lap, just like him.

"So what are in those?" I pointed towards the grocery bags and cooler.

"I know you are probably not hungry at the moment after eating, but I brought snacks for you along with some drinks which are in the cooler." He placed the bag and cooler on my other side so I could grab from it anytime I wanted. He then pulled a radio out of the other bag. "This is to listen to the movies on." He turned on what looked to be an expensive radio and quickly scanned the channels before falling on one that was currently playing some soft rock music.

Then Jasper got up a little from his seat and slid open the back window to my truck. He reached in and pulled out our bag from Orca books. He pulled out his book on the Rough Riders before handing the bag to me. "The movies doesn't start until dusk which we probably have about 45 minutes to an hour until. Sorry that it is a little of wait, but trust me it is worth it."

"I don't mind," I told him honestly. Sitting here and reading sounded nice. I took out a collection of short stories by L.M. Montgomery and opened it to the first page. However, I didn't start reading right away. I was intrigued by the atmosphere of the drive in. Cars were trickling in, parking all over the lot. Some families set up camping chairs outside of their vehicles while others sat up in the bed of the truck like us. There were a couple who propped the trunks open to hatchback vehicles and sat in it that way. There were relatively few people who were just sitting in their closed vehicles. It was like a part of the drive in experience was the social atmosphere. Teens were meandering car to car, saying hi to friends and stopping to gossip. Sets of parents would talk to other parents while children ran about freely. The entire area was fenced in so the children could not go far. I even spotted a few kids playing up near the screen in the grass.

I picked my book back up and was about to read when I glanced over at Jasper. His face was a look of utter concentration and it fascinated me. His eyes moved across the page at a surprisingly slow pace. I remember that Edward would go through books so quickly, turning pages faster than I could keep track of. However, Jasper's eyes were reading each word purposefully, soaking up the meaning of what he was learning. I glanced at the title again, wondering what the interest held for him. I couldn't stop myself before I vocalized this thought. "Why do you want to know about the Rough Riders? Didn't you live during that time period?" It was true. He once told me that he was over a hundred years old. That was all he would tell me about his past.

Jasper glanced up out of his book, meeting my eyes. He stared at me a moment as if deciding how to answer. "I was around during this time, but I guess you could say I wasn't really in any state to keep up with the current human affairs at the time. I have just recently gotten into a Teddy Roosevelt faze, as clichéd as that may be. I really don't know much about culture and politics during this time."

I didn't like the evasion, and he must have known it would bother me. "What was distracting you from human events?"

Jasper's eyes tightened a little around the corners as I said this, not looking angry but not happy. I almost regretted saying anything, wanting his face to go back to the relaxed state it had been. I hated seeing his face looking unhappy at all. However, I knew that I wanted to know about his past. I felt like we were becoming good friends and in order for that relationship to be real, I knew that he needed to open up to me and trust that I would still be there for him. I would not judge him for his past.

"Bella, you have to know that it is very difficult to talk about my past. I have tried to leave it behind me."

"But whether you like it or not, it is a part of who you are today. I want to know your past in order to get to know you better. You are so locked up sometimes and I just want you to trust me enough to open up to me."

"I do trust you."

"Then why can't you tell me?"

I could see the resignation slowly fall across his face. "Okay, I will tell you, but not tonight. I don't want my past to darken what has been almost a perfect day for me. I will tell you soon."

"Tomorrow?" I pushed.

Jasper rolled his eyes at my suggestion, but nodded in agreement.

"Do you promise?"

Jasper sighed heavily. "I promise, Bella that I will tell you all the gory details about my past tomorrow."

I leaned back into my comfortable pile of pillows, content with the answer. "Thank you."

"Can I go back to reading?" Jasper asked me.

I picked up my own book as it to illustrate to him that I was done with our conversation. That's how we spent the time before the movies, each sitting comfortably as we read our respective books in peace. I completely lost myself in the book that I didn't notice the natural light starting to fade. I was jolted back to where we were when the music on the radio abruptly stopped. We each closed our books and set them aside as the green bar before a movie trailer was displayed on the screen in front of us. It wasn't until after the trailer that I realized I had no idea what movies we were watching. I had been so caught up in the prospect of going to a drive in that I forgot to actually pay attention to what movies were listed on the marquee.

"Umm, Jasper what movies are playing tonight?"

"Cars and Pirates of the Caribbean 2," Jasper answered my question, only chuckling slightly at my lack of observation.

I really knew nothing about either of these movies, but that didn't bother me. I looked forward to the next couple of hours where I had to think about nothing but the colorful pictures in front of me. There was nothing that I could do and I appreciated that freedom. I leaned against Jasper's side and he didn't hesitate to put his arm around me to pull me closer. He took the blanket from his lap and draped it over me fully, making me feel warm and content. I settled in as a short cartoon opened the movie.

A/N: I really long note, for a really long chapter. So, if you couldn't tell from this chapter, I am from Washington and have grown up in the Olympia area. Many of my friends love Twilight, but it always bugs us that there are some slight discrepancies that SMeyer didn't get right, that only other Washingtonians care about, lol. So, if it bothered you that I went to far out of Forks, I'm sorry, I just wanted to incorporate some of my knowledge in what I hoped was a believable way.

This chapter I was a little hesitant about, because normally I don't like naming literature or music that characters like because I don't want to alienate readers and honestly it bothers me so much when people push their own tastes on their characters. I tried to be as true as possible to what they would actually like and not just what I like. Feel free to chew me out if you think I got it wrong. Actually I would love to hear what others think the characters might listen to or read.

That being said, I really liked this chapter and I hope you did too. I can't thank you guys enough for the many positive reviews I'm getting and along with all of the alerts and favoriting of the story. I would love to hear what you thought specifically of this chapter.