Even as you wait for death you're wiser then I am
Tell me what does it mean to exist
I am not a scientist I must believe in more to this

-This Is Not The End by The Bravery

Chapter Fourteen

It was weird to wake up in my own bedroom without anybody in it. Whoever had been on patrol last night had decided to stay outside. I did my normal morning routine in peace and quiet, for once not hyper aware of the fact that a vampire could hear every movement of mine in the bathroom. I got dressed in a t-shirt and jeans and headed downstairs. I slept in a little late so Charlie was already gone. He had been happy to see me last night which made me feel even more guilty about leaving him. He was so excited about me going to college in Olympia, but little did he know that the move was just the first step in our permanent separation. I couldn't help but wish that there was some way that I could still stay in contact with him after the change. I knew Renee had Phil so while losing me would be horrible, I knew her life would go on. I couldn't help but be concerned about what my disappearance would do to Charlie.

I was munching on my cereal, happily replaying my date with Jasper in my head when someone knocked on my door. I saw Jacob's Rabbit through the window. My mood picked up at the prospect of him visiting. I unlocked the door, pulling it open to see Jacob standing on my porch grinning like an idiot.

"So, how was it?" He didn't even wait for me to invite him in before barging in and plopping down on the couch.

"How was what?" I asked, perplexed.

"Your date with Jasper? Was he a gentleman if you get my drift?" He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"How the hell did you know?" I threw myself in the adjacent chair.

"Language Miss Swan," Jacob tsked, looking entirely too amused by the situation. "But, to answer your question Jasper came by yesterday to ask my permission to date you."

"Isn't he supposed to ask my father for that?"

"He figured, rightly so, that I would be the one that liked the least that you were dating another vampire. Charlie loves Jasper."

He had a point. Charlie credited my improvement in temperament entirely to Jasper. He really wasn't that off the mark. "Well, apparently you didn't scare Jasper off so you must not have been that against the idea."

Jacob's grin softened. "I like Jasper a lot and I think you could do worse. He's a good guy. If anything I think he is too good for you."

"Oh thanks, like I need anybody else besides myself thinking that."

"You know I'm kidding. You two are good for each other and really life gave you lemons and you decided to make the best fucking lemonade that you could."

I couldn't help but laugh. "I guess that is one way of putting it."

"You never did answer my question. How was the date?"

"It went well." I hesitated. It was weird to be talking to Jacob about my date, even if he was all okay with the situation. "He took me to Port Townsend."

"Huh?" Jacob's face was scrunched up in confusion.

"We went on a tour of one of the historical houses and had dinner on an abandoned bunker."

"How romantic?" His voice was skeptical.

"It was," I assured him.

"We had fun just hanging out and he was sharing his interests with me. You know how he has all that military background."

"I guess," Jacob spoke doubtfully.

"What did you do for your first date with Elyse?" I accused him.

"It just so happens I treated Elyse to a night of romance and passion."

"In other words, you drove her around the reservation before parking down by the beach and making out with her in your car."

Jacob's face slacked. "How did you know that?"

I guffawed. "You have no imagination when it comes to romantic gestures not to mention I figured that since you already know that you are soul mates you were antsy to get down to business."

Jacob shook his head. "You know me too well."

"You're my best friend, what can I say?"

We sat in silence for a few minutes, both of us glancing at the tv reporting about the increase in murders in Seattle. I wondered vaguely what was going on Seattle before Jacob spoke up.

"You do know we will stay best friends no matter what?"

I focused my attention on Jacob, sensing that he was trying to tell me something important. "Of course."

"Because nothing that happens can change that. I don't care what you are; we are still going to be friends."

It dawned on me. "Jasper told you about my decision to become a vampire."

"He thought he would give me a heads up. I think he figured I might be angry at your decision and he would rather I take my anger out on him."

"Are you angry?" He looked calm and I couldn't sense any unease.

"Not mad. I'm a little sad. Nobody wants their friend to become a part of the legion of undead. I wish that you could have had a nice normal life, but since that doesn't seem to be a possibility, I have resigned myself to the fact that this is the best thing for you."

"The Cullens will take care of me. I will always have a family."

"I know and I am happy that you will have that. I won't fight your decision. I just have to ask, is this completely what you want? Nobody pressured you into this decision?"

"The choice was completely mine," I said honestly.

"Good, then I won't stand in your way and the pack won't either."

"What are you talking about?"

"Technically the treaty with the Cullens prohibits them from biting any person, including to change them."

"But it's my choice," I butted in.

"I know and the pack agrees with me that you are making this decision fully aware of the consequences. We won't consider it a breach in the treaty. It will continue to be upheld."

I sighed in relief at that. I would hate if there was trouble between the two sides just because I chose that I wanted to be a vampire. My mood lightened at the thought that there was one less obstacle between me becoming a vampire. A thought came to me then. "Will you look after Charlie after I turn?"

"Of course," he answered without hesitation. "And Billy will make sure to keep him company."

"That will make me feel better."

"Don't you think you can still email him or talk to him on the phone?"

"I don't know. It would be prolonging the inevitable. Not to mention my voice is going to change."

"Charlie is not the kind of guy that is going to really ask too many questions. He would just be so happy to hear from you."

"Maybe," I allowed hesitantly. "I've got months to come to a decision."

"When are you going to do it?"

"Sometime after Christmas. Jasper and I will still go to college for a quarter."

"That should be fun. I am going to have to come down for visits."

"As much as Elyse can spare your mad kissing skills," I teased.

Jacob kept a straight face. "I'm not going to lie to you, it may not happen often. I'm in high demand."

"I'm sure you are," I mocked. "When do you think I can meet the special girl?"

"Soon, hopefully," Jacob replied enthusiastically. "I think you and Jasper are going to really like her. I was hoping we could maybe hang out on Saturday."

"Like a double date?" I asked a little dubious. I mean that seemed like something out of a teen chick flick.

"It doesn't even have to be that formal. I thought I could maybe just bring her by the house and we could hang out." Jacob's voice was hopeful. I knew he wanted all of his favorite people to be friends. I knew how that felt when I wanted Jacob and the Cullen's to get along. He gave them a chance and I would do the same for Elyse.

"That sounds nice Jacob. I'll talk to Jasper about it. I'm sure he would love to meet her as well."

"Great, it's a plan then."

The home phone rang at that moment, interrupting our conversation. I got up and answered it. "Hello?"

"Hi, is Jacob with you?" It was Jasper, but his voice was strained.

"Yes, is something wrong?" I couldn't help be concerned that something had happened to somebody in the family. Maybe Victoria had finally made her move.

"Everybody is okay," Jasper reassured, guessing where my thoughts had gone. "But a problem has arisen. Jacob should hear this too. Can you two come over immediately?"

I glanced at Jacob who sat up, alert. "Yeah. We will be over in a few minutes."

"Good." The phone clicked as Jasper hung up. I stared at the phone in my hand for a minute, completely flummoxed as to what that was about. Jasper didn't even say goodbye. It must be serious.

"We need to go to the Cullens' house." I grabbed my house keys and headed towards the door.

"What's going on?" Jacob asked as he followed me out. I locked up behind me and Jacob.

"I don't know. It sounded serious though."

He didn't ask anymore questions, assuming correctly that I knew no more information than what I had said. He unlocked his car and we got in. It was an unspoken agreement that his driving and his car would get us there the fastest. At this moment I didn't care about speed laws. We kept silent on the short ride. Once we parked we scrambled out of the car, running up to the house. I opened the door to find the family sitting around the dining room table. I had learned this was where important decisions were discussed. I took a seat next to Jasper. Jacob he held back and leaned against the wall.

I glanced at each member of the family. Everybody had stony expression on. Jasper's expression fell a little as I searched his eye for any clue to what was going on. He reached over and grabbed my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

Carlisle was the first to speak. "I don't know if you were aware Jacob and Bella but there has been some suspicious events going on in Seattle."

"The murders," Jacob replied for both of us.

"Yes. A couple weeks ago our family started to become concerned about the increasing number of bodies. The murders took on a pattern that we are all too familiar with, vampires living in Seattle."

"Okay." I drew out the word, unsure still why the situation was so serious. "So is there another coven in the area?"

"Not exactly," Jasper answered. "The vampires are reckless with cleaning up after themselves, which suggests they are newborns, but we weren't sure. So, we sent Emmett over to Seattle to assess the situation."

Emmett picked up the story from here. "We were right, there is a small group of vampires wreaking havoc on the city."

I knew this was bad for the people of Seattle, but I still failed to see why everybody else was so concerned. "And?"

"Well, it got me wondering as to who was making them because really there is only two reasons to create a vampire."

There was because you wanted them to become a part of your coven and then there was... My thoughts trailed off as a realization came to me. "To make an army?"

"Bingo." Emmett nodded. "I wanted to know who was creating the army so I followed a couple of the newborns, hoping they would take me to their leader. A long story short is they did and Victoria is the one making them."

Black spots invaded my sight as thoughts dizzily swam around my head. It was no longer as simple as Victoria wanting to kill me. No, things had escalated to a new level. She probably saw the Cullen's move back in and figured it would be even more difficult to get to me. So, she made a plan to take out the whole family.

"How long do we have?" Jacob asked. I guess he connected the dots like I had.

Jasper shook his head. "It's impossible to say for sure. My guess is we have a couple weeks. From what Emmett told me she has six newborns. She probably knows about Edward and Alice but she is still going to want enough to guarantee a win for her. She is going to need a couple more to ensure she overwhelms our family and she is probably going to attempt to give them some sort of training. This is good for us. We will be able to train some and it means we won't be taken by surprise if we leave a family member in Seattle at all times to give the family a heads up when they decide to make their move. If we let them come to us, we will take them by surprise when we are waiting for them."

"It would make sense if it was a wolf because of the pack connection," Jacob proclaimed.

"Jacob, this isn't the packs fight," Carlisle objected. "Newborns are very strong and fast. I can't endanger the pack like that."

"Nope, I'm pretty sure the rest of the pack will agree with me on this. Let's put Bella's safety aside for a second. If they win, do you think they are just going to go on their merry way? No, they are going to go after the people of Forks and La Push. This is our fight no matter what and you aren't going to be in it alone."

Carlisle sighed heavily. "You are all just children."

"I'm kind of insulted by that," Jacob laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

"You know what he means," Esme joined the conversation. "It would be a shame for any of you to lose your life in what should be our fight."

"It wouldn't be any less of a loss if any of you died," Jacob insisted.

Everybody paused when he said that. I saw then that Jacob truly did see the Cullens as people. He did not want anything bad to happen to them and he would fight by their side. Everybody in the room became aware of the fact that we weren't that different at all. It made my stomach clench that everybody was being so selfless trying to protect me. I had brought all of this on the family and it would kill me if anything happened to any of them. I felt so helpless. It occurred to me that I didn't have to be helpless.

Jasper's face darted to me at the jolt of adrenaline that coursed through my body. He raised an eyebrow in question to me. His shift had led to everybody's eyes being trained on me. I took a steadying breath before speaking. "I want to be changed now."

There was a chorus of no's coming from everybody but Jasper who was examining me quietly. I kept my eyes on him, knowing he would be the most important one to convince. "You said yourself that we probably have weeks. That means that I would have enough time to be changed. I would be strong enough to help the family. I would be an asset."

His face was impassive, considering what I was saying. Carlisle was the one that responded first. "But you may not be in control of yourself. All you are going to want is blood. You won't be much help if we have to babysit you to make sure that you do something you are going to regret."

"Honey, I don't want you to change because you feel obligated to. This isn't the right way," Esme added.

"We will be fine on our own." Emmett seemed insulted that I was insinuating that they needed the help.

Rosalie and Jacob didn't even have to say anything for me to know that they disapproved of my idea. But, Jasper, the one I really cared about still hadn't said anything. His breathing started up again and he blinked as if coming out of a trance.

"Bella, they are right. You may not be in control. If you were crazy with bloodlust then somebody would have to guard you to make sure you staid in line."

They were poking holes in my plan and I didn't like it. I quickly scrambled to find ways to refute their claims. "I am going to change anyways so a few months is not going to make a huge difference," I spoke to Esme. I turned to Emmett. "Yes you do need my help. As for having to watch me, if I am human somebody is going to have to stay with me anyways to protect me. If I am a vampire at least I can defend myself if I need to."

I saw everybody waver a little, but Jasper. "Bella, this isn't the right way."

Something that I didn't even know was brewing bubbled over within me. I slammed my hand down on the table, causing everybody to jump. "NO! You don't get to decide this for me. This is my decision."

"But, Bella this is dangerous…" Jasper pleaded.

I stood up, pulling myself away from him. "Edward thought he knew what was best for me and made my decisions for me. Look where that got this family. You guys don't get to leave me behind again. I refuse to not be a part of this. I cannot bare the thought of losing any of you and I am going to do everything in my power to help protect this family."

"She's right," Rosalie whispered sadly. "Anyways, she is going to be a hindrance one way or the other. At least as a vampire there is a chance that she could actually be helpful to else."

I cheered at the insult. That was the Rosalie I knew and loved. I turned to Carlisle. "If you don't do it willingly, I will make you do it. I will jump off a cliff or do something equally stupid and dangerous."

Carlisle eyed me. He knew that if he wanted he could just lock me up to keep me safe. But he understood the true meaning of my words. I wanted to take my destiny in my own hands and I would do anything to keep it that way. "We'll put it to a vote, as this affects everybody."

"Fair enough."

Carlisle started. "I vote yes. I promised I would follow Bella's wishes if she wanted to become a vampire and I will uphold that."

"No," Esme countered. "I want you to become a vampire but I want you to have more time to adjust and say goodbye to your family and friends."

"No," Emmett voted. "I'd rather be babysitting a human than a newborn."

"Yes," Rosalie murmured. "I'm done making decisions for others. If Bella wants this I will stand beside her."

"I completely understand where you are coming from Bells and personally I agree with you," Jacob spoke. "But, I just have to vote no for Charlie's sake."

I didn't take that personally and I had to admit my stomach dropped a little at the idea that my time with Charlie had run out. I had hoped that with moving to Olympia my absence wouldn't be so abrupt. Although the idea of hurting him pained me, my resolve didn't lessen.

"I obviously vote yes." It was a tie. Jasper was the deciding vote. I had been right when I knew he was the person I had to convince.

It was funny because him sitting down and me standing meant we were closer in height than if he was standing. I never noticed just how much of a difference in height there was until I was almost staring straight into his eyes. He took my face into his hands gently and studied me, his eyes darting to each one of my features. I tried to imagine what he saw. He looked sad for some reason. Finally he spoke, explaining himself. "We were supposed to have months. I was supposed to date you so we could take things slow."

It made me sad to lose that future. We would have had so many sweet times, and I knew I would have cherished every moment of us together. But, by me being changed, I could help ensure that we got to have a future, it would just be slightly different. "We can still have that, I just will be like you when it happens."

"It won't be the same," Jasper countered, shaking his head.

"No it won't," I agreed. "But it will be just as special." I leaned forward and brushed my lips against his quickly. I didn't pull back, instead, I held his gaze, left to count the flecks in his eyes.

"I vote yes," he whispered to me, although the rest of the room could hear it. He kissed me, this time we took our time.

There was no dramatic decision making in a closed off room. In calm and level voices it was simply decided that tomorrow would be the day. Bella would spend one last night with her father. She would tell him something about moving down to Olympia early. We would pack up some of her stuff, move it here and then well…I guess Carlisle would bite her.

It was such an odd concept that my mind was having a hard time grasping it. I knew on some level that it was inevitable that Bella become one of us. And I was not hesitant about her being a vampire. But, in all of my years I had never seen somebody planning their own transformation as if it was just another day. Somebody being turned was usually a quick decision, done in the moment. I have never seen one planned out.

Carlisle and Bella were hashing out most of the details by themselves. Esme was off in the room cleaning the already immaculate kitchen. I felt her anxiety about whether the family made the right decision along with a healthy dose of worry for her family. Jacob had left to brief the pack on the latest developments. Rosalie and Emmett headed back to Seattle to see if they could learn anything else while waiting for one of the pack to show up.

Bella turned to me asking if I would take her home. I agreed, borrowing Carlisle's keys to drive her home. He told me I didn't need to bring the car back right away. He was going to call the hospital and tell them he was going to need to take some vacation time. He hated to put them in a bind like that, but he wanted to be here for Bella's transformation. I shuddered, knowing what was in store for Bella.

Our ride back was mostly silent. I could only imagine all the thoughts that were running through Bella's mind. This was more abrupt of a change than any of us had wanted for her. But she had been right. She could make her own decisions and I wasn't about to vote against her. I wouldn't dare to think I knew better than her. My past had too many blemishes on it for me to say I knew what was best for her. Instead, I had to go along with her and hope she was making the right decision.

I parked next to Charlie's car at the house. A deep sadness ran through Bella at the sight of her home. I knew that this was going to be a tough night for her.

Bella made no move to get out of the car. "Will you spend this night with me?"

"I thought you would want to spend time with Charlie alone." I looked at her trying to guess the thoughts behind her emotions.

"I want you with me." She hesitated for a minute, looking down at her hands. "I don't know if I can do this without you."

"You don't have to. Let's go in."

I grabbed Bella's hand as we walked up to the house. I spotted Charlie glancing out the window at us, but I didn't care. I wanted to be there for Bella in any small way I could. I gave her hand a reassuring squeeze as we stepped into the house.

"Hey Dad," Bella greeted Charlie, going over and giving him a hug.

"Nice to see you too Bells," Charlie laughed, patting her on the back.

She pulled back, a little flushed, realizing that she was acting odd. I gave her a dose of calm and she glanced at me thankfully. "I'm going to get started on dinner."

"You don't have to. You just got in. Let me order us some pizza." Charlie reached for the phone.

"No, I really want to cook dinner tonight," Bella insisted.

"Okay then. I won't look a gift horse in the mouth." Charlie sat back down in his chair and focused his attention back to the evening news expecting that the conversation was over.

I looked at Bella, trying to gauge if she was going to tell Charlie now or later. She seemed to decide for herself. She turned towards the kitchen, before moving back to face her dad. She took a deep breath before speaking suddenly. "Dad, I have something important to tell you."

"What is it?" Charlie met her gaze.

I could feel her resolve wavering so I stepped closer to her, placing my hand on the small of her back. I hoped my mere presence was a help. Charlie eyed my arm that was now on his daughter. He looked a little surprised, but was not able to focus on that as Bella spoke up.

"There has been a change in plans. The apartment that I was going to move into had a sudden opening and they said I could take it if I wanted. I looked into it and summer classes at SPSCC start next week and there is still some openings. I thought that there wasn't too much reason of a reason to wait until Fall to start classes. I hope you don't mind."

Charlie eyed Bella for a moment, digesting the information. "When would you leave?"

"Tomorrow," Bella muttered.

"Sheesh, that is short notice. But, if it's what you want, I think it is a good idea. Will you be able to pack in time and do you have enough money to get started? I can call the bank tomorrow and get some money transferred to your account."

"No, it won't be necessary. I still have a bit of money saved up and I plan on getting a job down there. I will call if there is anything I need," Bella assured her father.

"You better." Charlie twisted his hands, unsure of what to do in this situation.

Bella sensed his unease. "You just sit back and watch the sports recap with Jasper. I am going to get dinner started."

I picked up on Bella's hidden meaning with those words. She needed a few moments to herself to work through this. I respected that, taking a seat on the couch.

"You will take care of her, won't you?" Charlie asked after a minute of silence.

"I will," I answered honestly.

There was another break in conversation. I felt like Charlie was working up to say something. Sure enough, there was more to this conversation. "All I want is for Bella to be happy. I think her getting out of this town will do her some good, and probably you too. I hope you two can find peace after what happened, and if you find that with each other, then good for you two."

I wanted to laugh. That was a long speech for Charlie and in his own way I was pretty sure he just gave me permission to date his daughter. I appreciated it, knowing he thought highly enough to entrust his daughter with me. I didn't want to betray that and I knew I would do everything I could to keep her safe, and that meant letting her become a vampire.

I didn't speak much the rest of the night. I let Charlie and Bella fill in most of the conversation. They talked about classes and Olympia. Charlie offered to take tomorrow off work to help move her in but she insisted that we had it all taken care of. She wouldn't have to move much, which was the truth. She insisted that he go to work like normal. They would just say their goodbyes tonight in case she wasn't up yet.

I said goodbye for the evening a while after dinner, letting them say their farewells in peace. I drove the car back to our house before heading straight back to Bella. I climbed up the side of the house and jumped into Bella's bedroom silently. I froze, listening to the noises in the house. I heard Bella and Charlie hugging outside her door, saying their final goodbye.

She came in a moment later, waiting for the door to click behind her before breaking down and crying. I ran forward, pulling her into my arms and holding her as tightly as I dared. I didn't have any words of comfort for her in this situation because in a way, it wasn't going to be okay. There was no hope for a future with her father and there was no use in saying everything would work out. She knew that her loss would be hard on her father. I wanted to tell her the pain would fade when she became a vampire as her human memories became blurry. However, I sensed that me telling her that may have made her feel worse rather than better.

Her tears showed no signs of stopping so I pulled her toward her bed, lying us both down on it. Bella instantly molded herself against my chest as I wrapped my arms back around her. I hoped that she would tire herself out soon and fall to sleep but she seemed to have another plan for the evening. Once her sobs had subsided she pulled herself up so she was hovering over me. She didn't pause or give any warning before lowering herself and kissing me fervently, not holding anything back. I was lucid enough for a minute to notice the sense of urgency in the kiss, before she shifted in a way that caused my mind to completely clear of any thoughts except for Bella.

I moved my lips with hers, meeting her pace. I traced her cheek with one hand before tangling my fingers in her hair. I brought another hand down her back before stopping at the hemline of shirt that had ridden up. I placed my fingers on her exposed skin, relishing the warmth. Bella expressed her approval by moaning into my mouth and pressing herself further on me. She rubbed herself against the growing bulge in my jeans, which caused a growl to escape me.

I needed to control this situation a little better, I thought as I flipped us so that I was the one on top. I tried to slow the kiss, trying to get us on steady ground. Bella had none of that. She just moved her mouth so it was trailing along my jaw. I closed my eyes, loving the feeling of her warm mouth dancing down my neck. While her mouth was working its magic, I noticed her fingers were skimming along my stomach, slowly pushing my shirt up. I tried to focus, knowing there was a reason we should slow down.

It wasn't until her hands fumbled with the button on my jeans that I came to. Of all things, her inability to unbutton my jeans quickly reminded me that she was very much still human and that this was her last night as such. I pushed myself back so that I was still hovering over her but now there was some space between us. Bella tried to close the distance again, but I put one arm over her chest to hold her down. "Bella, we can't do this."

"Why?" Bella gasped, her breath still ragged from kissing.

"How about the fact that you are still human. I could hurt you."

"You seemed to be doing a pretty good job there of not hurting me." Bella tried her best sultry voice. I swore her eyes darkened as she held my gaze. It caused my resolve to falter for a second. After all she did have a point; I had not felt the burn in the back of my throat once during that little venture. No focus, I told myself.

"Bella, this would be your first time. This isn't how it should be, some rushed affair the night before you are changed forever."

"If you don't want to have sex with me you just have to say that. You don't have to come up with all of these excuses," Bella retorted as she slipped out from under me. She grabbed her toiletries and headed to the bathroom. I blamed my dazed state as the reason she could escape me so easily.

I groaned, feeling like a complete fuck up for making Bella think that I didn't want to have sex with her. Of course I did. I would be the first admit Bella was extremely attractive and my body seemed to respond instinctively to her as per my performance earlier. But, that didn't change the fact that she was human and this would be her first time. She would probably bleed and I knew that was a huge risk, one I was not willing to take. Not to mention, our relationship itself was on shaky ground; I didn't want to complicate things by sleeping with her too soon. I had to explain this to her but in order for her to do that she would have to eventually come out of the shower. She was pulsing with insecurities and adding that to her feelings of saying goodbye to her father, I think it was an understatement to say Bella was having a pretty shitty night.

Bella was many things, but she was not the type of person to avoid her problems. She came into the room dressed in some gym shorts and t-shirt. She hadn't bothered drying her hair, instead pulling it back into a ponytail. She probably assumed she really didn't have anybody she needed to impress with her appearance tomorrow. I sat up and crossed my legs, patting the spot next to me. Bella ignored me and sat across from me on the other side of the bed.

"Bella, you cannot possibly think that I am not attracted to you. You had to have felt, both figuratively and literally, how much I wanted to continue."

Bella blushed and looked down at her bed spread, using her hand to pick at a loose thread. "It doesn't make any sense to me though how I can compare to the many women you have been with, all of which have been vampires. Alice alone was perfect. I can't measure up to that."

"Alice wasn't perfect, nobody is. Do you know how awkward our first time together was?" I laughed at the memory.

"I don't believe you," Bella replied doubtfully. "Vampires are so graceful. How could it be anything but romantic and perfect."

"Because there was an almost two foot height difference between me and Alice. That is bound to make things a little interesting. I wouldn't change anything about it though. Those memories are special to me, but I would be creating new memories with you. Sex with you will be completely different because you are unique and so different from Alice. I can't compare you two."

Bella's internal emotions calmed somewhat. "Then why can't we have sex tonight? You won't hurt me, I know that. And it's an experience I would like to have as a human."

"It is dangerous, no matter how much faith you have in me. I am able to push the boundaries further than Edward because of my prior experience. But, we can't forget I still do not have a complete grasp on my control." Bella opened her mouth to protest but I continued on. "But, putting that aside, I still don't want to do it tonight. You and I just starting out, I want to wait a little while into our relationship. And, I want you to be a vampire when we have our first time together."

"Why? So, I will be more attractive?" Bella honestly asked

"Of course not. Because I want to be with you as equals and I want you to always have that memory. When you become a vampire, your human memories are going to fade and blur. I don't want that to happen to your first time. I want you to be able to keep that memory with you, even if our first time is awkward and ungraceful."

Bella lips quirked to a half smile. "I doubt it will be like that."

"Just you wait and see. Sex isn't like in the romance novels."

"I imagine it's not. But it can't be that bad," Bella joked.

"I didn't say it was bad. I wouldn't change anything about my first time with Alice, well except for maybe when I dropped her on the floor on accident."

Bella laughed and the remaining tension in the room dissipated. She crawled over to me, giving me a quick kiss, before hugging me tightly. I pulled her into my lap kissing her forehead as she snuggled into my arms closely. "You should probably go to sleep."

"Why? It's not like I am going to really need it tomorrow. I don't want to waste my last human hours asleep when I could be spending them with you."

"Enjoy dreaming for the last time. You will see me plenty after you are turned, but this is your last time to sleep and dream."

Bella considered this for a moment before closing her eyes. "Will you promise to wake me up early? I want to see Charlie one last time."

"I will," I promised, kissing the top of her head. "Now go to sleep."

Her breathing slowly evened with a little help from me. She succumbed to sleep so I laid her down on her bed, covering her with a light blanket. I got out of the bed, and went over to sit in the rocking chair. I needed a little distance from Bella tonight, as what she had started earlier was not easily forgotten by many parts of me, one part in particular.

It was a quiet night, except for the brief interruptions of Charlie checking up on Bella. He wasn't able to sleep very peacefully, his emotions in turmoil at the thought of his daughter leaving him. The way he kept coming in to see her, while I hid in the closet, made me guess that he intuitively knew that tomorrows goodbye was more permanent than she was letting on. After the third time of waking up, I decided to intervene and give him a few hours of peace.

A/N: I love this chapter and honestly I hadn't planned for this story to take this route. Initially I had months of living in Olympia planned out, but for some reason I couldn't write it. Then I realized it was because that is not where the story was meant to go, instead this is the direction. It is for the best, although I am sad that I was not able to use a scene I wrote where Bella tries to convince Jasper to have sex with her by eating phallic shaped objects such as bananas and popsicles. Alas, it was not meant to be, lol.

I hope you enjoyed the shift in story telling and if not, let me know. I am always curious as to what my readers think. Thanks so much for all of the feedback from previous chapters. I love the encouragement. Until next time!