Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine
And we'll walk from this dark room for the last time
Every minute from this minute now
We can do what we like anywhere
I want so much to open your eyes
'Cause I need you to look into mine

-Open Your Eyes by Snow Patrol

Chapter Sixteen

There was complete stillness.

Except I could hear birds chirping outside the window.

I felt sunlight pouring on my skin.

I heard even breaths of five other people in the room.

Breathing, something I wasn't doing. I took a hesitant breath and felt my lungs fill with unneeded air. I detected a dozen scents in that one bit of air and my mind had the capacity to dissect many of them. Fabric softener, wood, roses, cinnamon, strawberries, and the list went on.

My hand was encased in warmth, my magical hand. I wanted to how my hand had special powers so I opened my eyes to the new world around me.

I fought the urge to close my eyes immediately after I opened them. The room was bright and there were so many details in the room that my mind processed at once. There was already a part of my mind counting books on the shelf, without me telling it to. My eyes followed a dust mote as it flew through the air. There was so much to look at. I turned my focus for the first time on the people.

I noticed who was holding my hand. It was Jasper. There was a split second of relief at seeing him that was interrupted with an instinctual reaction, jumping out of bed away from him. I crouched in a defensive stance and stared Jasper down, who stood back, his arms raised in surrender. I saw every scar scattered across his arms and neck. The sight of the scars triggered a base reaction that I didn't even know I had. He was dangerous.

I pushed my eyes away from the scars to look at his face. I thought I had studied his face so much as a human that I had it completely memorized but I felt like I was seeing him for the first time. His features no longer looked unnaturally beautiful. My eyes finally had the capabilities to see the glow of his skin, the perfect arch of nose, and the soft curve of his lips. His lips. Something stirred in me.

I closed my eyes and thought about Jasper. I knew he was important to me, but the reasons were a little hazy. I forced myself to focus on my human memories. It was more difficult than I would have imagined. It was like I was trying to look through muddy water. There were indistinct shapes, but it was hard to bring them in to relief. I tried harder.

"My Isabella?" He whispered softly.

That was all it took for the memories to come back to me. I remembered my parents and their love for me. Eating Italian food at a restaurant in Port Angeles with Edward. Meeting my new family for the first time. Edward leaving. Jumping off a cliff so I could see him. A plane ride. Alice making me promise to tell Jasper something. Seeing Jasper again for the first time and recognizing the pain on his face. Healing both my pain and those around me. New friendships. A kiss. A date. A bite.

What probably would have taken my human mind minutes to think about seemed to only take my vampire brain mere seconds. I opened my eyes again and saw Jasper still staring at me, but he just looked worried. I smiled at him and slowly the worry slipped from his face. I ran forward and threw my arms around him. He made a grunt as I tightly hugged him. I forgot, I was stronger than him. I pulled back in fear that I hurt him. He wouldn't let me get far though.

"Oops, I'm sorry." My voice sounded different, it was lighter and more musical than I ever remembered it being before.

"I'm okay. You just surprised me is all," Jasper teased. His eyes glinted with happiness but they were dark.

I reached my hand to trace his jaw. "You need to hunt."

Jasper gave me a weird look, but didn't respond to my words. I looked past him to see the rest of my family was giving me odd looks as well. "What is it?"

Carlisle finally spoke up. "How are you feeling Bella? Is there anything you need to do?"

My mind ran through the things I could possibly need to do. I looked down at my body and saw I was still in my pajamas from the night before I was turned. "Well, I guess I should get dressed."

"Anything else?" Carlisle pressed.

I shrugged.

"Aren't you at all thirsty?" Carlisle asked in disbelief.

Oh. Once he said that I noticed for the first time the emptiness I felt within me and the itching feeling in my throat, like it was dry. I put my hand up to my throat. "Is that what the scratching feeling in my throat is?"

Jasper laughed. "Yes, you are thirsty."

"Well, let me just get changed and then can we go hunting?" I asked.

Everybody continued to give me weird looks, which was starting to become annoying. What was so weird about me?

"Don't worry about it. You'll probably get messy your first time so it doesn't really matter."

"Okay, well let me just get some shoes on."

Emmett chortled. "Bella, you don't need them."

"Oh yeah." I felt a little silly. "Let's go then." I turned and walked out of my room calmly, and down the stairs. When I got outside, Jasper was waiting for me, an eyebrow raised. Sometimes I hated that eyebrow.

"You could have just jumped out the window."

"Oh." I guess that would make sense. I was still stuck on my human limitations. They way it had been described to me, I thought that my human characteristics were going to be gone. But, I guess I was different.

As if reading my thoughts I heard laughter from the house. "Who needs a tv when you have Vampire Bella to watch." I heard a smack after that but also Carlisle's and Rosalie's laughter as well.

I wanted to go back and say a few choice words to Emmett but I felt a touch on my arm that brought me back to this moment.

"We'll get him back later. For now, though, you really should feed."

I nodded. "So, what do we do?"

"Let's just run for a while; get away from the house. Then I will tell you what to do from there. Follow me." And with that he took off into the woods.

I ran after him, pushing myself forward faster and faster. I felt alive as the wind blew past me, pushing my hair back. I thought even as a vampire everything would look blurry going this fast, but I never lost focus of anything. I dodged every branch that came my way easily. I easily leaped over any roots that stuck out of the ground. My feet enjoyed the feeling of overgrowth and dirt under my toes. I didn't feel anything poke into my skin uncomfortably.

Soon, I caught up with Jasper and I kept pace with him easily. He turned to glance at me quickly, but something shifted in his gaze. He stopped suddenly. It took me a moment to turn back around and come back to where he was standing. I had no idea where we were; there were thick trees all around us and the sky was only partially visible because of all the branches.

"Jasper? Why did you stop? Is everything alright?"

Jasper responded by stepping forward, pulling me into his arms and leaning down to kiss me. The thirst that had previously been nagging me was gone, along with everything else. Kissing Jasper was a new experience…it was actually a multi-faceted experience. Before my human mind could only focus on one or two things at a time. Now, I could feel his lips moving smoothly and gently over mine, while feeling his soft curls between my fingers. I could take in his scent fully, a woodsy musk. His soft moans reached my ears as he held me even tighter. There was also no need for oxygen shortening the kiss.

Reluctantly I pulled back, looking at Jasper questioningly. "What was that for?"

Jasper looked a little embarrassed, and I swear if he could blush, color would have been rising in his cheeks. "Just seeing you running, such a happy look on your face, well it was a relief to see. I thought when you changed it would take a while for you to find yourself again. But here you, still my Isabella."

"Is that why everybody was looking at me funny back there?"

"Kind of. Usually the first and only thing a newborn can think about when they awake is that they need blood. But, you were just talking about getting dressed and finding your shoes. It was odd."

"So, I'm a weird newborn?" For some reason I felt defensive. Even in this new life I was weird.

"It's a good thing," Jasper insisted. "You are fully in control of yourself. I have never seen anybody like that, but it means you might be able to bypass a lot of the turmoil that comes with being a newborn."

"I guess that is good."

"It is very good. Now, let's go get you something to eat." And he took me my hand, leading me off into a clearing with deer in it.

I followed Jasper's whispered advice telling me to let my control over my body to fall. I let a more primal side of my personality take over. It knew what to do with the deer. That animalistic part of me knew how to snap the deer's neck and to suck in the warm, viscous blood. The blood soothed my burning throat and soon I had my fill. I wiped my mouth and was pleased to see, I was not too worse for the wear. My clothes were slightly muddy and I had a tear in my shorts, but that was it.

"Not too bad for your first time," Jasper's called out to me, his hand outstretched for me to take.

We held hands as we slowly made our way back to the house. While we were quiet, the woods around me were alive with various sounds I never would have heard with my human ears. I enjoyed this short, peaceful break in everything, making me think that Jasper and I would have time after all to figure things out. After all, we were just a normal couple taking a stroll through the woods. I held onto that thought for as long as I could.

Too soon the house came into view and I saw the family in the backyard fighting. For a split second, I was concerned that something was wrong, but then I remembered that soon we would have to fight Victoria and a bunch of newborns. They were preparing themselves. Carlisle and Rosalie were paired off, circling each other quickly. I'm pretty sure my human eyes would have just seen them as a blur. It was disturbing to see Esme and Emmett actually throwing punches and kicks at one another. I was surprised to see that Esme was holding her own, keeping up with Emmett's powerful strikes.

As we came closer, the family stopped what they were doing and stared at me curiously. I'm pretty sure they were making sure that I was not going to fly into a rage over something. I stared back with a steady gaze, trying to show them that I was still there.

Jasper must have felt their apprehension. "It's okay, she is completely fine. She is more than fine. I have never seen anything like it."

Carlisle was the first to step forward. I thought he was going to start spewing off a litany of questions, but instead he reached out and enveloped me in a tight embrace. "I've been so worried Bella," he whispered into my ear. "I'm so happy to have you back with us."

Carlisle was just the beginning. Each member of the family took their turn, hugging me and welcoming me back the world of the living, so to speak. It was wonderful to now be an equal with them. Emmett didn't hold back as he squeezed me tightly with his full strength. He giggled like a schoolboy as he swung me around in a circled. I let out my own tinkling laugh that was foreign to my ears.

"Why don't we go inside and sit down for a while, let you get acclimated," Esme suggested after Emmett put me down.

That didn't appeal to me; I was too interested in their previous activity. I had barely tested my new body and I was curious what I could do with it. "I want to learn how to fight. It's just a few short weeks until Victoria will descend upon Forks and I want to be ready. The whole point of this was so I could help out and fight. I want to learn."

Jasper laughed, and put his arm around me comfortingly. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves. First, you have to learn how your body moves. It's not going to react the same as when you were a human."

"Okay, then teach me," I responded, stubbornly.

And they all did. Each member of the family took turns with me, teaching me different ways that I could now move my body. They taught me to trust that if I fell or hit something, then I was not going to be hurt by it. Rosalie taught me how to do flips and Emmett and I had a contest to see who could stand on their hands the longest. I won a lthough Emmett contested it was because Rosalie touched him, knocking him off balance.

I learned a lot and enjoyed myself with the family, but after a while it started to become too much. Everybody was talking at once and I felt like my senses were in overdrive. Jasper eyed me, probably sensing my growing discomfort. I was pretty sure I was having a vampire form of a panic attack, which seemed ridiculous to me. But, Jasper didn't seem to think so. He came over to me, putting his arm around me, rubbing soothing circles on the small of my back.

"I think it's time for a break," Jasper announced.

Esme glanced at me and quickly agreed. "Of course it is. You should get cleaned up Bella and relax. It's been a long day."

The family continued with their sparring outside as Jasper and I headed inside. Once the door was closed and the noises outside became muffled, I felt slightly better. "Thank you," I whispered to Jasper, who still had his arm wrapped around me. "I don't know what came over me."

"You are probably just over-stimulated. It's a lot to adjust to in a short time. But, after a hot shower and getting into fresh clothes, I'm sure you will feel a lot better," he told me as we walked up to my bedroom.

I took his advice and grabbed some clothes and headed into the bathroom. Shutting the door behind me already made me feel a lot better. I was by myself, in a small room and all of my senses could manage the limited stimuli in this room. I turned on the water and disrobed, getting into the steamy shower. The scalding water felt amazing against my body. I knew I was not physically tired, but the water forced my body to relax. I washed all of the mud and dirt from my body, feeling more like myself.

I walked out of the bathroom, feeling clean and comfortable in my yoga pants and purple camisole. Jasper was waiting, lying on my bed and reading a worn copy of Cat's Cradle. He set down the book, scooting over in the bed which I took as an invitation to join him.

"You seem much more relaxed," Jasper noted as I curled next to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my head on his chest. I noted that he no longer felt like stone to me. While he was still firm below me, it was not as hard. He wasn't cold to me either. I felt content there in his arms in that moment.

"I feel much better. Thank you."

"For what?" I didn't have to see him to know his face was scrunched up in confusion.

"For being with me every step of the way today."

"You're welcome my Isabella. You should be proud of yourself, you did amazingly well today. You were in control of yourself."

Something in his voice gave me pause. He wasn't lying, but there was more to what he was saying. "What is it?"

I waited for him to collect his thoughts, hoping he would answer my question. I reached my hand out a little, tracing his arm that was wrapped around me. I fully studied each of the marks on his arms, seeing how truly numerous they were. I traced each one I could, trying to discern a pattern. There was none.

"Not all vampires are beautiful," he stated, emotionless

Ire rose to the surface, but I stomped it down as best I could. "That is not what I was thinking," I argued firmly.

"I felt sadness in you, I thought it may be for the fact that I am no longer as attractive to your vampire eyes.

I rolled my eyes, secretly hoping that self-deprecation was not a required vampire trait. "I was thinking about how each of these scars represented a fight that you were in. I don't think I truly understood what you have gone through, until now. It makes sad to think of what you have been through to survive. I couldn't imagine doing this without the support of all of you. I wish that had never happened to you."

Jasper was quiet for a moment. "Seeing you like this, so in control makes me question my own blood lust. I killed so many people..." his voice trailed off.

I sighed heavily. That wasn't what I was expecting. This was no silly bruised ego. I sat up, so I could look Jasper in the eye. "Jasper, you can't blame yourself for that. You had no choice in becoming a vampire, and more importantly you were not taught anything else."

"But, I can't help but look at you, and how amazing you did today, and I wonder if there really was no other choice. What if I merely was not strong enough to pick the right path?"

I shook my head. "You didn't know that you could feed on anything but humans. As for your actions, yes they were awful, but there is something to be said about what you were taught. There is a point when you are going to have to let that pain and guilt go."

Jasper's closed his eyes and took a couple deep breaths. He opened his eyes and they were much clearer, softer. "How did you get so wise?"

I leaned forward, so I was hovering over him,smirking. "You'll never know." I closed the difference between us and kissed him softly. The kiss deepened quickly and I shifted to get myself closer to him. I straddled his hips, pushing my body down over his. A fuzzy memory tickled my brain, but I pushed it aside focusing all of my attention on what Jasper was doing with his tongue. I swear my brain started to short circuit as Jasper's hands crept under my tank, running across my skin. His hands were so soft and warm, I couldn't help but let out a moan into his mouth.

There was a loud banging on the door, which caused Jasper and me to pull apart quickly, in case somebody walked in.

"I can hear you two in there and Jesus does not approve. You have to wait until you are married," Emmett shouted from the other side of the door before stalking off down stairs.

If I was still human, I know my face would have turned beet red. Who said anything about sex? But, I had to admit, there was a more important thought going through my head. "Is he serious?"

Jasper groaned. "Ugh, not exactly. He isn't actually that serious, but by God, he will act like he is. He views it as some big joke, one only he finds funny. Alice and I had to sneak around for months before our wedding. He is the true definition of a cock blocker."

I laughed, laying back down next to Jasper, curling up around him. Well, now the mood was broken, not that I thought we were going there. Now that my focus was off of Jasper's body, my fuzzy memory niggled at my brain again. I focused on it, trying to think of what it was. It was something about Jasper in my bed. It took a minute, but it finally came back to me, my last night as a human. I was still slightly embarrassed by the whole incident, but more importantly I remembered that he said he wanted to wait until I was a vampire. Well, I was now a vampire, so I wondered if sex was on the table. The thought made me nervous, but more than anything excited.

A/N: I felt the pressure on this chapter and I hoped you liked how it turned out. This chapter I literally had about a year long writers block. I wrote this chapter at least 3-4 completely different ways but nothing felt right. I kept abandoning the story. Finally, I just went back to a simpler idea, and tried to stay true to the characters. I hope I was successful. Also, sorry for the delay. I can't even use the holidays as an excuse. I actually got sucked into Ugly Betty and I could not rest until I found out if Daniel would stop being a knucklehead and realize that Betty was PERFECT for him, lol. But, I digress. I finished Ugly Betty so now I can focus on this.

I keep getting amazing feedback which is simply wonderful. Please let me know what you think for this chapter. Thanks again for the reviews, you all are wonderful readers.