Chapter 8

Elizabeth felt dejected at Mr. Darcy's dismissal and mortified at her own error in entering his room uninvited as she entered the carriage. She leaned back against the squabs and closed her eyes against the tears that threatened to fall. As soon as her eyes closed, the image of Mr. Darcy's back flashed before her. She had never seen anything so horrible. His entire back was covered in scars. They were thick and raised, but faded in color. Whatever had happened it was many years ago. She tried to think of ways he could have gotten them, but the only plausible explanation was that he had been whipped. But who would do such a thing? Mr. Darcy was a wealthy, powerful man. He was the sole heir of his family's estate. Even as a child, he would have had too much standing for anyone to dare such a punishment. Anyone except his father.

She began to sob uncontrollably. How could any parent treat their own child in such a way? There was nothing any child could do to deserve such treatment. She wished she could return and comfort him. He had looked so hurt and ashamed when he realized she had seen them. Elizabeth had never seen so much pain in anyone's eyes before. Well, except for when she had rejected Mr. Darcy's proposal. She cursed herself again for her harsh refusal and for causing poor Mr. Darcy even more pain.

When she felt the carriage slow, she hurried to dry her tears and did her best to right her appearance. Fortunately her aunt was busy entertaining callers, so she was able to sneak back to her room without speaking to anyone. She knew her Aunt Madeline and Jane would have questions about why she had returned so early and why she had been crying. She was determined to keep Mr. Darcy's secret. Such a horrible tale would never be hers to tell. Her tears began to flow again. She threw herself on the bed and allowed herself to sob until she eventually fell asleep.

That evening Elizabeth forced herself to join her family for dinner. She dissembled and blamed a headache for her early return and uncharacteristic nap. Her aunt and sister were clearly concerned about her appearance, but thankfully asked no further questions. She remained quiet and withdrawn throughout the meal, unable to think of anything other than Mr. Darcy.

The next morning she was disappointed to receive a note from Miss Darcy that she was still indisposed and would be unable to receive her again. As it was Saturday, that meant the earliest she could visit again would be Monday. She and Miss Darcy were not well acquainted enough to allow a Sunday visit. Elizabeth despaired not knowing how Mr. Darcy was doing in her absence. She chose to distract herself by spending the day with her cousins. As she watched them playing, knowing they were happy and loved, she thought again of the scars on Mr. Darcy's back and wondered if there had been any joy in his childhood.

During dinner she was again quiet and withdrawn. She was grateful her family accepted her excuse of being concerned for her friend. She still hadn't told them about Mr. Darcy. She knew if they had, her visits would be put to a stop immediately. She knew she was risking her reputation by visiting him in such a manner, but her conscience wouldn't permit her to abandon him. Knowing she was poor company, Elizabeth retired to her room after dinner. Not long after, Jane joined her.

Jane had always been her closest confidant, but Elizabeth worried how her sister would react if she knew the truth. Jane was always perfectly well behaved. Although she did possess a kind and generous heart. Would Jane understand? When Elizabeth wasn't forthcoming, Jane began to question her, "How is Miss Darcy?"

"She seems to be recovering from whatever occurred the day we met, but she is also very lonely," Elizabeth replied.

"What of Mr. Darcy? Is he in residence?" Jane asked hopefully. Elizabeth knew the hope in her sister's voice was because if Mr. Darcy was in residence, Mr. Bingley might be in town as well. Elizabeth had heard no news or mention of him. She wondered if Mr. Bingley was aware of Mr. Darcy's condition.

Elizabeth carefully answered that Mr. Darcy was at home, but that he was unwell and currently confined to his rooms. She left out that she had been to see him there or that she had been attempting to care for him. Fortunately Jane accepted her answer and after a few more polite inquiries, moved on to regaling her with tales of their cousins' antics she had missed.