DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter... also I've changed the male focus to Remus... you'll find out why soon :)
After a gruelling day of trying to get my brain to start working again after the long break, Cass decided that sitting with her boyfriend would be wonderful, so I was left on my own; as per usual whenever she gets herself a boyfriend. That's when Lily caught my eye and I gave the obligutory smile. I don't know why Lily and I never became friends,... Probably because Cass has always liked it to just be me and her. Or that she's in Gryffindor, and cool... and I'm in hufflepuff and you know... not cool? But probably the first one...
"Hey." Okay, try not to squeak... good. Now turn and look up in a non-awkward way. Agh why do I always manage to do something stupid? There goes the orange jug. "I've got it." And of course Lily Evans, brightest witch at Hogwarts would clean it up for me...
"Uh Hi Lily..." Awkward... Wait... this isn't what happens! You're meant to go back to ignoring me. That's what happens when I smile at anyone. Isn't it?
"Why're you eating on your own?" Because I've got no one to sit with now?
"Cass just got a boyfriend... It's okay... This happens a lot." Lily appreciates honesty. Or so I've been told.
"Oh."
"It's okay. Really. I'm just going to eat then go to the library or something. I'll catch up with you later?" Why isn't she leaving?
"So... you're going to sit on your own?" No... I was already sitting on my own, and perfectly happy until you disturbed me and this Shepherd's Pie.
"Uh... yeah?"
"You can't do that! Come and sit over at the Gryffindor table." Pause. Quick glance over... Sirius isn't there, but James and Peter are.
"Uh."
"Listen... Merlin knows I need someone to sit with me. Mary and Sirius're in some cupboard somewhere," This should bother me I know but it doesn't. "Alice is off with Frank and Jane's going out with Peter now, so I kinda need someone to sit with? Please don't leave me to deal with Potter on my own?"
"Uhm."
"Yay. Come on. You don't need to bring your plate or anything,..." But I didn't say yes!
"Uh okay..." Slowly stand. Maybe this is all a really awkward night/day dream and you're going to wake up in a second and -
"Everyone, this is Raina. I think most of you have classes with her." A smirk from James again. What's wrong with his face that he can't just smile politely?
"I could just..." That's it... leave yourself a polite way out of this situation!
"No!" Pause. Eyes wide. "I mean, I thought it would be nice for us both to bond a little. I mean, with Cass going off all the time with Amos..." Since when has she been interested in being friends with me?
"Lily. If she doesn't want to sit with us, Don't force her." Thump. Thump-ity Thump Thump. Wait... Sirius isn't here... so why's my heart going at like a mile a minute?
"Uh. Thanks..." Ooh, the guy who whispered to Sirius is here!I recognise that voice!
"No problem." Ahh... finally get to check out the- whoa.
Whoever invented this man/boy needs to be praised. Lightly tousled blonde hair, peircing blue eyes with a hint of amber, strong jaw, beautiful face, good shoulders,... did i just mentally praise his shoulders? Merlin I need a life! I feel like I just stepped into one of Celestina Warlbeck's love songs... Eep he's looking at me weirdly! Aah... what do I do?
"You can sit down you know." Why is James smirking? It's like he knew all along I'd find that guy unbelievably attractive... awkward...
"Uhm... Thanks?" Okay,... don't stack it or anything. Play this cool... Just sit down. That's it...Silence...
One
Two
Three minutes of awkward silence...
Four...
Five...
Why is this so unbearable? Why is no one talking? Why am I staring at a plate which has one solitary carrot on it? When did I put said carrot on my plate? Why did I choose a carrot? I hate vegetables...
"So, what classes're you taking this year?"Okay... look at whoever spoke... by deduction, hot guy's staring but not like he asked,... Lily looks intrigued and ahh... Peter spoke.
"Uhm... C-C-Charms, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Potions and uhm... Ancient Runes?" Stuttering? Really vocal chords? You choose now?
"I thought you were doing other subjects? Weren't you in my Care for Magical Creatures class last year?" Eyes wide... Think up an excuse. You're sitting with the cool people...
"Uhm... Yeah I uh- I think I was but I uh... failed the end of year exams so decided to switch classes?" That's it... *cough*
"To Charms? You know that's one of the hardest subjects at NEWT level right? You sure you can handle it?" Don't roll your eyes at James. Just don't.
"Pretty sure. Thank you." Dammit. I thought I said no glaring!
"Ouch. Curt huh?" Extra glaring? Damn this is not going well.
"I don't like people thinking I'm incapable." I get enough of that at home.
"Sorry. Just you're in Hufflepuff, and you insulted Sirius, you don't really seem that smart." Sirius laughed. And so did everyone else. Why's James still annoyed?
"Excuse me?"
"You heard. You're really not smart are you? You're just a lonely Hufflepuff aren't you?"
"James. Shut. The. Fuck. Up." I don't even care who said that. Stand up. Walk away. Just go. Don't cry.
"Okay, you know what, I'm going." That's it... Your voice hardly even cracked. They totally can't tell you're upset. Just, maybe the tears in my eyes...
"No!" Did hot guy just shout at me? Everyone's staring... I think he did. It wasn't just in my head. "I mean, James is just a prat. You know that." True, I did know that but still...
Silence. Why can't I hear any talking? Am I having one of those times when everything stops for a second?
"-so I said to her, you're so stupid you-" No.. Mary and Sirius just walked in holding hands and she was talking so this really IS happening. No one's talking, everyone's staring at you.
You know those times when you have a fight or flight reaction? Yeah well I always get it a little bit worse. D'you know this reaction-Eyes wide, lip being bitten until it's bleeding, long legs pelting towards the door... remember you left your bag at the table, turn, run back, get it, start running again, fall over in front of everyone because your bag's too heavy and smacked into your back, start crying, get up, start running again, get outside the castle and hide in a little enclosure around the side of some bushes? Yeah, I got that reaction. Wonderful.
The best part? I know I have Charms with the Marauders AND Lily next.
Hope you liked this chapter! Reviews would be appreciated :) B x
REMUS! I knew I knew hot guy's name! Shit, was that the bell?