A/N: I have absolutely no idea what this is supposed to be but I got inspired by Finn and Blaine and Kurt and FIGHT CLUB and yeah. I'm a little wacky. Also it is finals week and I am slacking off writing fic – REMIND ANYONE OF THIS TIME LAST YEAR?

Read, review, and I hope you enjoy!

"Finn!" exclaimed Kurt, slapping his stepbrother's hand away from the still cooling Christmas cookies. "Get your hand away from there!"

Finn pulled his hand away, frowning. "Ow," he mumbled, "you're so violent. No wonder Blaine likes you so much."

Kurt froze where he was making an honest attempt at drawing a snowman on a cookie. "And exactly what," snarled Kurt, "is that supposed to mean?"

"No, man, I just mean, like, because of the fight club and everything." His words gained no response. Kurt continued to stare at him. "You know," continued Finn, "the one at Dalton."

"I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about," said Kurt over his shoulder, rolling his eyes. Sometimes he began to wonder if Carole had dropped Finn on his head every day of his life.

Finn, to Kurt's surprise, began stammering. "Oh, right, uh, that was," he rubbed his hand on the top of his head, "um, a movie! Yeah, a movie, right."

"You mean Fight Club?" Kurt asked, raising and eyebrow.

"Yeah, that, hey look, Rachel's here, gotta go!" And with that, Finn bolted out the door, because apparently he had forgotten that Rachel was still at voice lessons and had just texted Kurt about getting there late.

Something was looking fishy.

"So," said Kurt, fiddling with the collar of Blaine's shirt, "Finn was an idiot today."

Blaine laughed, and brushed a lock of hair out of Kurt's eyes. "He's gotten better." He smiled. "Plus, after the two of us spoke about everything the other day, there's no reason to have a problem with him anymore, I don't think."

"This is different," amended Kurt, "he confused a conversation the two of you had with the movie Fight Club! I mean, really, reality from fiction, Finn. It's like ever since you two talked he's acted dumber than usual." Blaine was incapable of making eye contact. "What?" asked Kurt, laughing. "What'd you do, knock him on his head or something?"

It took a few moments before Kurt realized Blaine was fumbling for words. "Blaine?" Kurt asked. "Have you gone deaf again? I told you to stop listening to Cobra Starship."

That shook Blaine out of his stupor. "Hey! Cobra Starship was awesome back before Hot Mess! I was listening to Viva la Cobra that day, thank you very much. And besides," he added, "Finn's not as big of an idiot as you might think."

"That would be a difficult task," mumbled Kurt.

"No, really," said Blaine quietly, not meeting Kurt's eyes. "What if he didn't mix it up?"

Kurt, involuntarily, he'd swear, burst into laughter. "Yeah, okay," he exclaimed, "my boyfriend's out being all hardened and angry and –" Blaine was giving him a serious, apologetic look, sort of like the one that always accompanied an unspoken apology. "Oh, god you're not kidding."

Blaine shrugged and gave an apologetic grin. "I'm sorry. Um…Does this…Does this change things? I swear, I haven't really…I haven't done it with, well, I haven't fought with another person in months. Since I transferred, really, since it's hard to get to Dalton for every Thursday night now that I don't live there. I mean, I beat the hell out of punching bags, but that's because I really need to channel things, but I swear I'm not doing this just to be some jackass, I just don't have a place to diffuse my anger. Ever since I –"

Kurt surged forward and caught Blaine's lips in a kiss. Smirking a little bit at the dazed look on Blaine's face, he said, "You need to learn to shut up when I'm smiling at you."

"But you said that sometimes you smile at people to intimidate them with your angry bitch face," replied Blaine, looking a little lost. "And I didn't know if you were mad at me. I didn't know how to stop talking. I didn't know if I was explaining myself."

"You don't get that look, you idiot, it's mainly saved for Sebastian. Anyway, where did this lovely," Kurt swallowed hard as he thought about Blaine in a fight club situation. Violence is not attractive, Kurt told himself, even if Blaine looks freaking wonderful running or doing jumping jacks or playing football or OH GOD I NEED TO STOP THINKING. "…hobby, I suppose, come from?"

Blaine shrugged, taking Kurt's hands in his and gently brushing his thumb over the knuckles. Silence fell over them for a few moments as Kurt reveled in the fact that Blaine's soft and sweet hands could fight just as well as they could make Kurt sigh. "People took swings at me, beat me black and blue, broke my arm and punched me so hard my left ear rang for three days afterwards. My jaw fractured and I was in so, so much pain," Blaine looked up from where he was staring at his hands into Kurt's eyes. "And beyond that, I couldn't defend myself or my friend. So I figured that…That if I could learn to get someone back for it, that if I could somehow defend myself and learn to fight," he leaned in and pressed his forehead to Kurt's. "I wouldn't have to watch anyone else get hurt."
Kurt's breath caught in his throat. "You're too good of a person, Blaine," he breathed. "Stop being so good."

"Yeah," said Blaine, sitting down on his couch. "Because being violent and angry is saintlike. Because insinuating that Sam sells himself when he was just trying to suggest an idea for sectionals is such a good thing to do." Kurt coughed a little bit to that. "What?" asked Blaine.

"You don't know?" Kurt asked. Blaine shook his head. Kurt's eyes widened. "Oh, no…"

"What?" asked Blaine. "What's wrong?"

"Sam, um," Kurt bit his lip as he tried to get his words out. "Sam was a stripper for a little while, to get his family more money."
Blaine's jaw dropped and his eyes widened to saucers. "Oh my god," he muttered. "I am worse than I thought."

Kurt rolled his eyes and sat down right next to Blaine. "Oh, don't start, seriously, you didn't know." Blaine dropped his chin into his hands. Kurt rubbed his back. "Oh, don't do that, Sam will understand, just clear it up with him before sectionals. And I have a feeling that it had a lot more to do with you getting infuriated with Finn being an ass the past few weeks than with Sam being overtly sexy once."

"Of course not," said Blaine with a ridiculous grin, "that would only be logical."

Kurt pulled Blaine close to him, and Blaine situated himself so his head was buried in Kurt's chest. Kurt pressed a light kiss to Blaine's hair, closing his eyes. "I'm glad things seem to have been sorted out," said Kurt quietly.

Blaine nodded, throwing an arm around Kurt's waist and pulling himself even closer to Kurt, their bodies snug against one another. "I'm going to apologize first thing tomorrow morning to Sam," he said into Kurt's sweater, "you know, tell him I didn't mean anything I said. I mean, I just…I hate thinking that the only way anyone can win anything is by using sex to sell it, you know?"

Kurt nodded. "Of course I do. Baby penguin and all, remember?"

Blaine pushed himself so he was sitting up, and ran his fingers through Kurt's hair. "Baby penguin's been gone for a while, honey," he said, leaning in for a kiss.

After a while, Kurt broke away. "So," he said, a little flushed and out of breath, "this whole fight club thing. Want to show me some moves?"

Blaine frowned. "I don't really know if you want to see me fighting…I get kind of scary."

"Oh, please, I've seen your bedhead. Give me scarier than that, try me." Kurt began to ruffle Blaine's curls, leaving Blaine to frown and bat at the hand trying to mess at his hair. He took Kurt's hand and pressed it to his lips. "You can see me fight someday," he said quietly, "I'm sure there will be another situation where someone will try to piss me off."

"Well, " said Kurt with a smile, "I'll be right there beside you. Warding them off with hairspray and high kicks."