This should not have taken so long to post, but I had so much I wanted to write, but I knew I needed to pace the story, so I had a hard time deciding what stays and what waits until later. But here it is, finished and I'm pleased.
THANK YOU for all who reviewed. I'm going to get around to responding to reviews, but I figured you'd rather have another chapter than a response to your review!
June 2006
"Thanks for knocking," Stefan quipped as his brother burst through his office door. One look at his face, however, changed his tone completely. His brother looked like a mad man. His hair was sticking out every which way, his clothes were wrinkly, and Stefan could have sworn his socks didn't match. Damon's socks always matched.
"What's wrong, Damon?" Stefan asked as Damon flopped into one of the chairs in his office. His head immediately dropped into his hands.
"What if I made a mistake?" Damon groaned.
"I can't help you if you don't tell me what happened," Stefan said quietly, walking around his desk to sit on the edge opposite Damon.
"I fell in love with her," Damon whispered. Silence fell upon the brothers as they both reeled from Damon's revelation. It had been plaguing his every thought for days. He couldn't pin point a moment, but just one night he looked into her big brown eyes and he knew.
"And you feel as if this is a mistake?" Stefan asked, trying to fit the pieces together, because they weren't making any sense to him.
"What else could it possibly be?" Damon's head snapped up, "Love was never meant for people like me."
"Damon, you know that's not true," Stefan said quietly.
"No? How come my own father can't love me and the love for my mother killed her?" Damon snapped, pushing out of his chair and pacing the length of the office.
There it was. The basis of his every problem. Laid out there for the first time in his life and it hurt more than he ever considered. He knew he had issues with love and other such feelings, but he always pushed the reasons why to the back of his mind. He was never faced with the possibility of love, so he never had a reason to think of why he was so afraid of it.
When all was said and done, love had let him down. He lost the one person he loved most, and the only person left to love him rejected him for it. It had always hurt growing up, but as an adult it was something he had learned to suppress and live with. But now, with Elena in the picture, the thought of love was wigging him out.
It practically broke Stefan's heart seeing his brother so closed off and panicked about loving someone. He should be excited and happy, not pacing the length of the office.
"You're just going to have to decide if she is worth taking a risk for," Stefan said, placing a hand on Damon's arm to stop his frantic pacing, "Love is scary. It's giving someone all the power to break you and then trusting them not to. You either take that leap or lose Elena. The choice is yours."
Damon pondered that in silence for a few long moments before his gaze snapped to his brother.
"When did you get so smart?" Damon asked.
"Maybe when I manned up and proposed to Caroline," Stefan shrugged with a small smile, glad that Damon seemed to be processing what he had said.
"No, that can't be it," Damon mumbled then flinched when Stefan punched him in the arm.
"You going to think about what I said?" Stefan asked.
"You were right. Plain and simple, I have to take a leap or else lose Elena. And losing Elena is the last thing I want to do," Damon said, moving toward the door.
"Where are you going?" Stefan asked.
"To tell her," Damon said with a small smile, finally realizing that loving Elena didn't have to be scary. And of all people he'd take that risk for, Elena was worth it.
With that he half ran to his office to grab his things. It was getting late, but he didn't want to wait any longer. If he waited, doubt and fear would creep in and keep him from what could be the love of his life.
He sped to Elena's house as much as possible in New York traffic, but he made it there in record time. He felt his fear turning into excitement and nervousness as he ascended the stairs. The more he thought about it, the more he knew he loved Elena.
He arrived on her floor and approached her door. The closer he got, he realized the door was slightly ajar and he could hear voices coming from inside. He heard her voice and a male voice, but he didn't catch what they were saying. When silence fell inside the apartment he pushed open the door to see his girlfriend in the arms of some blonde steroid and he was kissing her.
His hopes went straight through the floor as he realized what was happening.
"The fuck is going on here?" He roared. He was livid and all he could see was red. He finally took a chance loving someone and this is what happens. This is why he vowed to never fall in love.
She was quick to push the man away when she'd been caught.
"Damon," she whispered. He could see her eyes glistening. He didn't care, she was probably upset with guilt.
"Who is this, Elena?" He yelled, "What is going on?"
He glanced at the man standing awkwardly in the middle of them.
"Damon, I can explain. I swear!" Elena said. She had tears running down her cheeks, but he couldn't care less.
"I'm her ex-boyfriend and I'm here to get her back," the man finally stepped up. He looked like a peacocking idiot.
"Would you shut the fuck up, Matt?" Elena screamed, "Just leave. You only cause problems where ever you go and I will not allow you to do that to my life again."
He didn't process why she'd talk to him like that, he was too angry at her for making him fall for her then cheating on him.
"Well, I'll just leave you two to it," he said sarcastically. He hoped she'd be miserable with the blonde cone-head.
"Damon, don't. Please," Elena begged, "It's not what it looked like, please just don't leave like this."
He almost smiled at how pathetic she looked, then he remembered how pathetic he was. He fell in love when he knew damn well he'd get hurt.
"I really don't want to hear anymore," he snarled at her. He was seething. Without wanting to hear another word he turned and left.
He was out of her apartment and into his in record time. The drive was a blur, he was thinking about everything and nothing all at once. He walked into his loft and straight to his liquor cart. He promptly poured himself a full tumbler of his best Bourbon.
The whole time they'd been dating was a farce. She played him as if he meant nothing to her. There he was going to tell her he was in love with her and she practically spat in his face. He knew he should've stuck with just dating and ditching women. No emotions, just one and done. Life didn't hurt as much that way. His heart never ached like it did at that moment. He never understood being heartbroken, but here it was and it was worse than all his hangovers combined. He felt like he was drowning in his own pain and he wanted nothing more to make it stop.
So he did the one thing he only knew to dull the pain. He consumed as much liquor as his body would let him and let the slight burn in his throat lull him to sleep.
Present Day
"Damon?" His eyes focused on the person in front of him. Katherine was standing there in her always-present short black dress, stilettos, with her hand on her hip and she did not look happy.
"What?" He looked up at her.
"Did you hear anything I just said?" She asked, exasperated.
"I'm sorry, Kat. Run it by me one more time," he said.
She sighed and flopped down on the couch next to him.
"What's wrong, Damon?" She asked in a concerned voice.
"Nothing, I'm fine," he said quickly.
"You've been off since we got back. Talk to me," she said softly, placing her hand on his arm.
He snapped his gaze to hers. As his eyes met her brown ones, he was put off by the disappointment he felt when he wasn't gazing into Elena's big brown doe eyes.
He shook his head to rid himself of the thought.
"I'm fine, Kat. Just stressed I guess," Damon said, avoiding her gaze.
"Well," she purred, her hand tracing lightly from his shoulder down his chest, "I could help you relax a little."
He snapped her hand away before it reached its destination inside his jeans.
"Not now, Katherine," he complained.
"God!" She groaned, getting up and putting her hands on her hips, looking every bit like a stubborn child, "You have been ignoring me the past three days!"
Her childish tone set off something in him.
"What? Upset that someone said no to you for once?" Damon snapped, "You need to think about someone other than yourself."
He stood up from the couch abruptly and pushed past her toward the door.
"Where are you going?" She called after him.
He turned and gave her a long hard look.
"Anywhere but here," he finally said before disappearing out her door.
He wasn't going anywhere in particular, but he found himself on the familiar over grown path in Central Park. He found the small wooden bench along the path and sat down. He hadn't been in that spot in years. He closed his eyes and he could practically see Elena come jogging down the path, winking as she passed him.
He snapped himself out of his trance when he found himself smiling. He needed to refocus. He was engaged to Katherine. He loved Katherine. She was his future now. That thought used to make him smile, but now it made him feel a little sick. Could he build a life with Katherine? Was their love deep enough to raise a family and make a future?
Then why couldn't he get Elena out of his head? He gave up and pulled his phone out.
"I need to talk to you," he said into the phone.
Twenty minutes later he and Caroline were sitting down to coffee.
"What's going on in your head, Damon?" Caroline asked concerned.
"I feel like I haven't been myself since we've been back," he started, "I've been taking things out on Katherine. I can't even look at her."
He dropped his head into his hands.
"I mean," he continued, "I'm marrying Katherine. I love Katherine."
"No one said you didn't love her," Caroline said, "But you need to admit to yourself that you never stopped loving Elena."
"I love Katherine more," he argued pathetically.
"If that were the case, we wouldn't be sitting here," Caroline said softly.
"What am I going to do, Caroline?" Damon groaned, "Yes, ok. I'm still in love with Elena. But I love Katherine, I still want to marry Katherine. I can't back out on that now."
"Damon, you have to do things for yourself once in a while. If you want to be with Elena, then be with her. I understand you are scared, but are you sure you can live through losing her again?"
With that, Caroline got up from the table.
"I've gotta run, I have a flight to catch," she said.
"Where are you off to?" He asked.
"Just to take care of some business things. I'll be back in time for the wedding, or not. What ever you decide," she said as she gave him a quick hug, "Remember, no matter when you do, Stefan and I are there to back you up."
"Thanks, sis," he smiled at her as she left the cafe.
He felt exponentially better after talking to Caroline. He knew exactly what he needed to do and he was now ready to do it.
Hmmm... What is Damon up to? He's definitely going to fix things with someone.
Thanks for reading and if I don't update before Christmas, MERRY CHRISTMAS! I hope it is wonderful!