[11]
The rain fell hard for three days. Stands longed to see Thunder Horse, but Black Shawl and the children kept her busy in the lodge. On the second day, Black Shawl slipped out to the lean-to and returned carrying a bundle. She called Stands over as she began to unwrap it.
"I'm sorry that we haven't made a wedding costume for you. You will have to wear mine." Stands looked on in awe as Black Shawl unfolded the bleached doeskin tunic and leggings. The brilliant turquoise beading contrasted sharply on the soft white. Stands was old enough to remember when Kicking Bird and Black Shawl were married just ten years earlier. She thought that Black Shawl made a beautiful bride and she knew that she would wear her costume with pride.
"You would let me wear it?" She asked in disbelief.
"Yes. You were Kicking Bird's daughter since he found you wandering the prairie many years ago, but you have also been like a daughter to me. I am proud of your match with Thunder Horse. This I will pass to you as my mother once passed it to me. One day perhaps you will pass it on to your own daughter." Black Shawl answered tenderly. All of this surprised Stands. Black Shawl was not one to let her emotions show.
"It is a great honor for me." Stands said, trying not to cry.
"Come now," Black Shawl said, "The Earth does not need our tears today." She handed the bundle to Stands and then shoed her away.
"You will want to make sure that it fits."
[12]
When the rain broke on the third day, Kicking Bird stepped outside to see Thunder Horse heading his way. Most likely he was not coming to see his bride's father, but Kicking Bird thought it was a good time for them to talk. He met Thunder Horse halfway.
"Thunder Horse, let us ride." Reluctantly, but respectfully, the young man nodded and followed Kicking bird to the ponies.
[13]
News spread through the camp like wild fire. At mid-day, five married women, all friends of Black Shawl, came to Kicking Bird's lodge. With Black Shawl in toe, they escorted Stands With A Fist to the river where they helped her to bathe. The women took turns keeping watch for men-folk. As they went about their business, the women educated Stands on her duties as a Sioux wife, and they described in painful detail what she should expect on her wedding night. Horrified, she listened to the women recount their own experiences. By the time they were finished, Stands was terrified. They dressed her in Black Shawl's wedding suit, and the other women gave her gifts of jewelry to wear. When they returned to the lodge the women lit incense and chanted blessings over the union, while they waited for Kicking Bird to return.
[14]
As Kicking Bird and Thunder Horse arrived back in camp, they were met by Lone Tree, Yellow Flower's father. He was not happy.
"Kicking Bird, you must not let this man marry your daughter! He took advantage of my precious Yellow Flower. He tricked her by promising that he would marry her, and now he has tossed her aside to marry Stands With A Fist, a white woman!" He accused.
"I never touched your daughter, and I made no such promise to her. I swear on my honor what you say is not true!" Thunder Horse insisted.
"Thunder Horse speaks the truth!" Wind In His Hair stepped forward. "He was never to be alone with Yellow Flower. " A crowd began to gather around them.
"I'm telling you what Yellow Flower told me. I do not wish to accuse you falsely. My Yellow Flower would make a fine wife. How could you choose a white woman over one of your own people?" He asked.
"Stands With A Fist is my daughter, and her heart has always been with the people." Kicking Bird defended.
"She is Sioux. That is all I have to say on the matter." Chief Grey Wolf added, putting a stop to any further discussion on the subject. His word was law. Lone Tree went silent and hung his head. He had heard the rumors about his daughter, and they were probably true, but the rumors alone meant that she would likely never find a husband. Thunder Horse was his last hope.
"I am sorry Thunder Horse. I did not want to believe that you would do the things that my daughter accused you of." Lone Tree left them on the path.
"Are you going to wear that to your wedding?" Grey Wolf asked, looking at Thunder Horse's dusty loin cloth.
"I should change." He realized.
"Yes, and you should hurry." Kicking Bird grinned.
"I'll go with you." Wind In His Hair slapped him on the shoulder and they headed off in the direction of Thunder Horse's lodge. He heard the laughter of the other men at his back.
[15]
The entire camp showed up for the wedding. Stands With A Fist walked gracefully beside her father, as was customary. They were followed by Black Shawl and her children, and behind them, the rest of the camp fell in. The young girls who had hoped to be standing in Stands' moccasins on this day melted into the crowd and tried to hide their disappointment. One of them was plotting revenge.
The entourage came to a stop outside of Thunder Horse's lodge. He threw open the flap and stepped out with Wind in His Hair close behind him. Stands looked so beautiful in the white wedding tunic and leggings trimmed in turquoise beadwork, and the matching moccasins. When she smiled at him it took his breath away. His heart began to pound in his chest.
Kicking Bird began with the traditional greeting.
"It is a good day for me."
"And also for me." Thunder Horse said.
"If you wish to marry this man, take his hands in your hands." Kicking Bird said to his daughter. Stands stepped forward and took Thunder Horse's hands. The ceremony was quite short, and when it had been completed, Kicking Bird pronounced them married. All of the people began whooping and dancing as the couple moved into their lodge. Thunder Horse pulled the flap closed behind them. The celebration would continue throughout the night as their friends and family moved on to the tribal circle to eat, drink and dance in honor of the new couple.
[16]
Stands nervously looked around the interior of her new home. She noticed right away that a pallet had been placed by the fire and the blanket she had made had been placed upon it. She knew that Thunder Horse was standing behind her, but she nearly jumped out of her skin when he placed his palm on the small of her back.
"Are you nervous?" He asked, surprised at her jumpiness. She shrugged. He couldn't see her face, so he walked around in front of her.
"Are you afraid?" She nodded.
"What happened? You weren't afraid the other morning in the woods." She hesitated.
"I spent my day with a group married women in the tribe. " He rolled his eyes and threw up his hands.
"What did they tell you?" He asked.
"They told me stories about their wedding nights."
"And? What specifically did they say?" She blushed at the thought of having to repeat it, but as soon as she started it just came pouring out.
"They said that you would do things to me….things that I don't even understand how it is possible to do, and they said that it was my duty as your wife to let you do them. They said that it would be unbearably painful, and that even though it would feel like it, it wouldn't really kill me. Black Crow's wife said it would be helpful if I could just go somewhere else in my head. She said that she plans her family's meals when she is with her husband." His jaw dropped and he stared at her in horror as she continued.
"I've seen boys, Kicking Bird's sons, but they said yours would be big like a horse." Thunder Horse could not hold in his laughter. He covered his mouth with his hand, and fell down onto their pallet.
"Come and sit beside me wife." He patted the blanket beside him, but she just stood there staring.
"Have I ever hurt you?" He asked.
"No." She admitted.
"Do you think that I would ever want to hurt you?" He reasoned. She shook her head.
"Don't listen to what they said. I want you to trust me. Do you trust me?"
"I do." She said honestly. He smiled and then patted the blanket again. She walked over to her husband and he welcomed her beside him. He thought for a moment before he began to speak. "Tonight, we will go on a journey, just you and me. " He took her right foot into his lap and began to unlace her moccasin. "The Journey will be exciting, filled with wonder and surprise." He pulled her boot off and then reached for her other foot. "You will experience things you have never known before…good things." He removed the other boot and sat it next to its mate, and then began to massage her small feet. "We can travel as fast or as slow as we want. There is no hurry." She began to succumb to his seduction, feeling her body relax she stared trancelike at his lips as he spoke.
"Like all journey's, ours has a destination. We will arrive there together. I won't leave you." He hypnotized her with his words as his hands gently undressed her. She didn't resist him.
"Will you go with me?"
"Yes!" she sighed. He gently laid her back on the pallet, the furry side of the buffalo hide caressed her back as he looked down at her from above. She slid her palms up his arms to his shoulders and he bent over her to kiss her tenderly. She wrapped her arms around him, and he slipped his tongue into her mouth.
"If you need me to slow down, you have only to ask." He told her. She felt his strong hands gently cup her breasts and she moaned. He sucked one nipple into his mouth and once again her breath was taken away by the coexistence of pleasure and pain.
"How?" she cried.
"How what?" he paused to ask.
"How are you touching me there and I feel it…" He smiled and moved his hand from one breast to place it over her sex.
"Here?" he asked. She moaned and arched her back instinctively. He slowly began to explore with his fingers, enjoying her body's response to his touch.
"Easy." he tried to calm her a little. "Am I hurting you?" He asked.
"No!" She cried when she could find the words.
"Is this horrible?" He smiled.
"No!" She repeated.
"Does it feel good?"
"Yes! Yes!" As he continued to stroke her he returned his attention to her breast. Stimulating both sensitive areas at once had the desired effect. He smiled at his own cleverness when after only a few moments she climaxed.
He moved to lie down beside her and he held her as the intensity of her passion faded.
"That is where we are going. Do you understand now?" He whispered in her ear. She nodded without opening her eyes as she tried to catch her breath. Thunder Horse stood slowly and shed his clothes. She opened her eyes and they locked onto his erection. He thought he saw a glimmer of fear return for just a moment, but it was gone. He eased down between her legs and she opened them wider.
"I will do my best not to hurt you unnecessarily, but I cannot promise that you won't feel pain. I promise it will be brief if you listen to me." He looked into her eyes and he felt her trust. She felt him press against her and her body tensed.
"Relax your body…breathe." He coached. She tried to do what he said and as he inched inside of her she dug her nails into his biceps. He watched her chest rise and fall as she began to pant.
"You'll feel the urge to resist, like a wild pony not yet broken. Your body will tense up. Try to relax and keep breathing. The pain won't last long if you don't fight it." He pushed deeper and she let out a deep throated moan. He mentally counted to three and then plunged through her defenses. Her body tensed up and she let out an anguished scream. He held on as she instinctively began to try to throw him off.
"Relax your body…breathe." He reminded her. She sobbed, but she tried to do as he said. When she was still, he just held her and stroked her hair.
"I'm sorry." He apologized. After several minutes she shifted beneath him.
"Oh!" She moaned against his shoulder. He smiled and decided to test the waters. He retreated just a little and then returned, then repeated the motion. Every time he buried himself inside her she moaned softly.
"Am I hurting you?" He asked, unsure if her moaning was caused by pleasure or pain. It took several moments for her to compose herself enough to answer him.
"Yes"
"Do you want me to stop?"
"No! Please don't." She begged. He smiled.
"So it's not unbearable then?"
"No…I'm alright."
"Let us continue on our journey then."
ln no time at all, the pain was forgotten and Stands was lost in a delicious pleasure of her husband's making. He continued to coax and coach her until they were at last, moving as one. She didn't lay there like a dead fish. He knew exactly where her mind was, and it wasn't on preparing the morning meal. She was right there with him nearing the end of their journey.
"Oh! I'm almost there!" She cried out quite suddenly.
"Don't worry…I'm right here with you." He assured her, and she let herself go. True to his word, he was right behind her.
They lay still together, listening to the distant sounds of drums. The fire in the center of the lodge cast shadows on the walls all around them.
"I love you." She finally said.
"And I love you…wife. " He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. "I'm glad you survived the journey." He teased.
"When can we go again?" She asked. He laughed out loud.
"We will take the journey many times, but first I need to rest."