Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I own the plot.

A special thanks Verucasin for your support and guidance. AN:

A few people have been itching to find out what happened to Jacob, well you are about to find out more about him. Will Edward finally break through to Bella's pain?

Thank you for your support and please leave a word or two below. There is no greater compliment to a writer. So humor me please.

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Chapter Five

I placed myself in the hammock again, just as I had yesterday morning. I wondered shortly if I should worry about the fish-leg this comfortable makeshift bed seemed to give. I pushed off from the railing, swinging softly and opened my book. It was the only book I had brought with me and it was my favorite. I had probably read it about a thousand times, but that didn't matter it was still awesome, every time.

Peripherally I could see Edward roaming around on his front porch, hanging something off the railing. He only wore shorts hanging loosely from his hips and nothing else. I just had to glance at him. He was in shape, no doubt about that. He was lanky, but his muscles were defined and rippling down his stomach. I knew he had been gifted with beauty, but nothing like this. Deep inside my belly something clenched.

He jumped to the sand, skipping the steps altogether. The move was very athletic and he made it look effortless. He ran quickly to the water and I guessed it was to avoid burning his feet on the scorching sand. He stalked into the water in long strides, and jumped in head first when the water was waist deep. He looked extremely elegant as he glided through the water, taking practiced strokes, pushing himself forward fast. So he was a swimmer just as I had imagined. He swam far out before he started heading towards the shore again, before he turned slightly to the right and all of a sudden disappeared behind the great lime stone cliff. This felt a little unsettling, but he had looked very comfortable and capable in the water – so I trusted that.

After about an hour of reading Edward re-appeared from behind the lime stone cliff again. Gliding through the water athletically - he looked beautiful in the element. On his way out of the ocean I noticed that he threw a quick glance in my direction - like he was checking if I was there. I was... ogling him. I pretended to keep reading, while I watched him from the corner of my eye. After a short trip inside his hut, Edward took to the water again.

I pushed against the railing again, swinging and I noticed something irritating me beyond belief. The blond pack - the lionesses were back. They were prowling along the beach with their eye on Edward. As they passed my hut, I fiercely locked my eyes on my book ignoring them purposefully. They were closing in on Edward's hut. I couldn't help but notice they wore the same attire as yesterday, except from the curvier one seemed to have forgotten her shorts today. To my horror they turned their attention to the water, their direction changed - stalking their prey, ready to launch an attack.

Oh hell no! I flung myself off the hammock, the book dropped to the floor with a thud and I raced inside. I ripped through my bag finding what I was looking for - my bikini. I yanked my clothes off and put on my swimsuit. I threw a quick glance at the mirror and groaned at the sight. I was really getting bony. I checked my profile and groaned again. I had skinny chicken legs, I wasn't able to completely fill the top of my bikini and for the love of god - I now had fish scales running all the way up my back as well as on my legs. I went to my bag again and pulled out a pair of short board shorts. That would cover some of the chicken legs, the rest I just have to live with.

I forgot to put my shoes on, so I burned my feet as I crossed the sand running for the water. My eyes were locked on the packs' backs; they were in almost waist deep and almost to Edward. He chuckled slightly as he saw my not so subtle wading through the water. He raised his hand and gave a small wave at me. As a pair of synchronized swimmers the girls in front of me raised their hands and gave a little gesture with their fingers. Edward's gaze flickered back and forth a few times and he seemed amused by the situation.

The girls reached him before I did. But they were so not hunting on my turf. Not that I had turf, but he was off limits to them. I heard him say a quick hello. His voice, I thought, was a little colder than usually.

"Edward." The girls chimed in sync - their voices sweeter than cotton candy. The slimmer one started twirling her hair again. Seriously - she hadn't come up with anything better since yesterday? I made an unintentionally splashing noise... well maybe not completely unintentional, but I wanted to let them know I was coming. As true hunters they turned their heads, and gave me the same hate-like glare from yesterday. They really needed to come up with new material.

"Bella." Edward's voice was a warm humming when he said my name. There was a profoundness to it I couldn't ignore. "So glad you could join me."

"No problem." I added, not sure what my next move was going to be. I might be rudely interrupting, when he didn't want me to. I glanced at his eyes, they were soft and sparking and he didn't appear annoyed with my sudden presence.

The girls gave my skinny frame the classic once over, assessing the competition. It was clear they thought I was no match for them. I was a bag of bones, had chicken legs, no boobs, and to add to the insult, fish scales all the way up my backside.

I tried to stay calm when Edward casually touched a stand of my hair and tucked it behind my ear. For once my hair wasn't stuck in its normal ponytail. I was slightly stricken by the close proximity to Edward – a bare-chested Edward at that. He looked so strong and confident, like nothing in the world could tear him down. I had to work to keep my eyes off him. He was like a prize, which I was sure was exactly what the opposing girls considered him to be.

The skinny one murmured something that could be construed as heinous bitch, but I pretended not to hear it. "We were just going for a swim." The curvy one said in a colorful accent as Edward's eyes stayed with mine.

"Sure you were." I said unable to stop myself and I smiled my best fake smile. The girls seemed to get the hint they were unwanted and started walking further out into the water, like they just happened to cross Edward's path.

He leaned in slightly and whispered. "That was interesting." Edward was clearly amused with my little charade.

"Yeah… I figured you needed rescuing." I lied. In truth I was the one who needed to rescue him for me. Not the other way around. I was as surprised I had acted so strongly and slightly confused.

"If you say so. But normally, I can take care of myself." He cocked a brow and smiled. He was so close to my face and it made my stomach flutter.

"Okay... it just looked like they were ready to devour you." I tried to keep it light, not sure how successful I was. Edward's only response was a soft smile. Our eyes locked and we fell silent for a while and it seemed like time stopped. I was completely absorbed in the depth of his beautiful green eyes.

"I have an idea..." His voice was suddenly enthusiastic. "Can you swim?"

"Sure I can swim." I rolled my eyes slightly, but I appreciated the boyish grin that spread across his face.

"No, I mean… can you swim?" He put the emphasis was on the last word. My eyes narrowed.

"I can swim to some extent." I was a little nervous what he was getting at. I had seen him in the water and he could swim. "Not like you though." I murmured. He pursed his lips like he was evaluating.

"You'll be fine." That seemed to be his conclusion. He grabbed my hand casually, like he had done it a thousand times before. Electricity jolted up my arm and I was startled at the sudden contact of our skin. He quickly let go again and smiled nervously assessing my face. The situation felt a little awkward, but in a strange way I already missed the feeling of his skin against mine. We walked to the shore in silence.

"Go get a t-shirt and some small shoes... preferably flip flops." He ordered, already turned toward his place.

"I thought we were swimming?" I stated baffled.

"We are, but we will need shirts and shoes." That didn't make much sense either. But I did as I was ordered. Dripping all over the floor, I collected the items needed and went over to Edward's. I put my flip-flops on since my soles were not totally unaffected with the two trips over the burning sand.

He had pulled some kind of bag out when I got there. It looked strange, flat and had four straps; two by two they were joined at the middle. Edward was on his knees in front of it when he pulled a shirt off the railing and quickly rolled it into a bundle. I noticed a sporty looking water bottle that hadn't been there before.

He put out a hand "Give me your shirt." I obediently handed it to him. I was still trying to figure out what the hell he was doing. My shirt got the same treatment as his. "Shoes." He continued. I pulled them off and handed them to him as well. He paired one of mine on one of his. My eyes lingered on the shoes. They looked perfect like that, uneven in match and size, but they complimented each other and I smiled. He quickly pushed them into the bag, closing the odd zipper. He got to his feet, and put the bag around his waist, strapping the bag to his hips.

"Ah." I nodded getting the idea of the bag. Another dark thing crept into my mind. We were swimming, and far.

"For a moment you looked like you thought I lost my mind."

"For a moment there I thought you had... how far are we going? Do I need to be nervous?" I frowned and bit my lip.

His eyes dropped to my mouth and his breath hitched ever so slightly, before he recovered his equilibrium. "Not far, and no... I'll take care of you." He promised.

"I'm not in that great shape." I felt that was obvious, but I refrained from looking down my fading body. I didn't need to be reminded I still didn't fill out my top. I fiddled with a lock of hair nervously, questioning if this was really a good idea.

He snatched the water from the railing, and then jumped the stairs, ready to move quickly over the sand. "You'll be fine... you're not afraid of depths, are you?" Sounding a little worried, looking like he was making me do something I didn't want to do.

"No." I decided to stop being a baby and just go for it. I ran quickly over the sand as fast as possible with Edward right on my heels. The water was a gentle relief to my soles. They suffered a little more with the third trip over the burning sand. I waded as far as I could into the water before it became too deep. I was already a little out of breath. Edward playfully ran past me and once again jumped head first and disappeared underneath the surface. I mimicked his jump, not quite so elegantly though.

Edward led the same route he had taken earlier when I had watched him vanish behind big lime stone cliff. Closer up, it looked like it was floating on the water. The water must have eroded some of the stone at the base, making it appear as if the massive cliff was indeed floating on the water. It looked impossible, going against all laws of physics. I was fine around the first cliff when we made a short stop at a small but very private beach in between two ginormous cliffs. The trail through the forest did not show this beach on the way to the abandoned resort. This was completely secluded.

After a short rest Edward asked if I was okay for another swim. I had nodded in compliance, but I hadn't anticipated the second swim to be longer... much longer to my surprise. About half way past the cliff, I felt my legs getting heavy and my arm tired. But I fought it and continued. Edward repeatedly asked if I was getting tired and I repeatedly answered no. He told me not get too tired because that would be a mistake. He wanted to stop and tread water for a little while, but I was more in a hurry to get this over with and get out of the water, so I pushed myself further. Big mistake, huge. Edward was right, when I got too tired my legs cramped up fiercely, making it impossible for me to tread water. I was suddenly going under. Water going in everywhere and I chocked and tried to fight the element. I was in trouble as the salty drops stole any chance I had of breathing. Edward was a little short of breath but nothing compared to my heavy panting and struggling. He quickly hefted me over my shoulder. "Put your arms around my neck." I did as he asked, coughing and hacking up water that had gone down my windpipe. "Okay... without choking me would be nice." His voice was strained as his hands were locked around my wrists. I realized how hard I was clinging to him, so I repositioned my arms to his shoulders rather than his throat. That seemed to work. "Now, hang on to me like a piggy bag and relax your legs." I took an undisturbed breath and suddenly felt like I was five years old and hanging on to my dad. The only thing was, Edward wasn't my dad and I wasn't five years old. Electricity was thundering through my body inexplicably at this most unsuitable moment. Even struggling with death I was able to feel something else.

Edward slowly started to take strokes in the water and I felt his skin and his muscles work underneath my arms and chest. He was strong, indestructible it felt like.

Edward swam with me the rest of the way and I was elated when my toes touched the soft sand at the bottom. I was safe. I hadn't felt unsafe in his care, just somewhat embarrassed.

"I'm so sorry." He said as I dragged my limb body ashore. Edward seemed fairly untouched by the amount of exercise. He looked ashamed. "I thought it would be okay."

I let my body slump down onto the warm sand. I felt every inch of muscle, every nerve and sinew in my frame and they all ached. "I'm drowning and you're sorry?" I rasped. I should be the one who was sorry. I tried to slow my heavily labored breath.

"Are you okay?" He asked, intently watching me, like he was checking every ounce of my somewhat withered frame.

"I'm fine... it was actually awesome to use my body like that. It feels good to be physically exhausted, rather than mentally." I bit my tongue to stop the words from coming; he wouldn't want to hear all that stuff. I stared at him, but he hardly reacted to what I said. He just unstrapped the bag and handed me the water bottle. I took a few swigs and cleansed the salty taste of seawater from my mouth. I wasn't really that thirsty, even though I had had more exercise in the past hour, than in the past year combined. Edward sat down beside me resting his arms against his knees.

"I'm sorry you had to rescue me." I said and as soon as the words were out I saw the sentiment in between the lines. It wasn't only from drowning he had saved me, but in every other thinkable way too. If it wasn't for him I would have gotten nowhere. The past days would have been no different without him. I would have spent several of them cooped up in my room unable to even go get something to eat. But now I ventured to do a few things – he had encouraged me to be active without forcing anything down my throat. Had anyone else asked me to do these activities, I would have told them to fuck off.

"Well you did the same for me earlier. You can call us even." He chucked, and put his head down between his arms, slowing his breath.

I lay down on the sand and closed my eyes. I felt myself dozing off, just for a few minutes. "Bella, you should put your t-shirt on, you'll get burned." Edward lightly touched my shoulder.

"Oh... " I sat up feeling confusion wash over me. I touched my shorts and they were dry. I really had fallen asleep. Edward handed me my shirt and I put it on obediently. The sun was fiercely hot against my pale skin.

We sat for a short while in silence, but I could feel Edward quietly was working up to something. "So I'm going to ask again now." Edward seamed to tread lightly. He knew the subject was touchy.

"Yes." I answered, knowing what he was asking. I swallowed convulsively, my heart starting to pound in my chest. Was I ready for this?

"What happened?" He encouraged.

I hesitated as images of the night before I lost Jacob flooded my mind with a vengeance. I couldn't push them back. I closed my eyes and concentrated on getting the words out. "He died." My voice was just above a whisper.

"I sorta figured that." I felt Edward place his hand on top of mine. It was warm and had the comfort of a thousand hugs. "What happened?" He implored with the same words again.

I didn't answer, but the images took over and I gave in to a painful memory.

FlashI shoved the key into the lock, feeling it grinding and protesting as I turned the metal. I was exhausted and fed up with people bitching and nagging me. When you did your best what else could anyone ask? I sighed tiredly.

The only thing I looked forward to was to soak myself in Jacob's arms and smell his musky scent. A hot shower and a movie I would pass up either.

The hall was dark but a hint of light shone from the kitchen. There was no blaring of the TV or any kind of sound. That was strange as Jacob usually had the TV running weather he watched it or not. "Jacob?" I called as I eased out off my jacket and boots. I wiggled my toes as the boots had cut off quiet a bit of the blood supply to my feet.

"In here." He called somber. I found him sitting at the kitchen table staring at his cell. "Where were you?" He asked coldly.

I was taken aback by the unexpected chill in his voice. "At work." I frowned confused.

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying." I defended.

"Why didn't you answer your phone?" Hi lifted his black eyes to mine, they were cold and spiteful.

"My battery died."

"How fucking convenient for you Bella."

I gaped. "Jacob I don't understand any of this." I didn't see why he was suddenly so pissed about a flat battery and a missed phone call.

"Don't insult me by playing stupid Bella, we both know you're not. I went to the theater. I spoke to Eric, he told me you left an hour earlier with Tyler." He snarled and pushed out of the chair. It tilted back with a dull wooden sound when it hit the tiles of the kitchen floor.

"I did. I walked down the block with him, and then he met up with some friends." I narrowed my eyes. It was this old song again. "Jacob Black you really don't think I would cheat on you?" I was just about to roll my eyes, he was being ridiculous.

"You lied to me before." He countered harshly.

I gasped horrified he would throw that back in my face. Yes, I had sex with Mike in a moment of pure stupidity - the event where he had assumed a few facts. "I didn't lie to you!" I spat.

"You didn't fucking tell me the truth either! Are you fucking Tyler?" He roared, towering over me. I stepped backwards, meeting the wall.

I stared at Jacob for a long moment, feeling the hatred boil inside me. As much as I loved him, at this moment he was being an insensitive prick and I hated him for acting like this. "Jacob Black I am not even going to dignify that with an answer." I tried to stay calm, but everything inside me simmered with detest.

"Where were you tonight Bella?" He spat, his dark lips rigid.

"You know what Jacob, that is none of your goddamn business."

"Answer my question Bella!" He threatened.

I tried to duck around him, but he blocked my way. I glared at him. "Fuck you!" I hissed.

His hand rammed into the wall just beside my head. I ducked and avoided at the last second. His entire frame quivered and his mouth fell open. His black eyes widened with shock and hurt. "Oh god." He murmured, stepping back from me. He had never ever gotten abusive in anyway, but he had a temper and jealousy was no stranger to him.

It was quiet for eons of time and we just stared at each other, stunned. I swallowed after a while and found my voice. "Why were you looking for me at the theater?"

"I missed you and wanted to walk you home." He said quietly.

"I took a long walk home because I had a really shitty day. I wanted some space." I paused. "Thank you Jacob, for showing me your support and love by accusing me of cheating on you. It was so thoughtful of you." I sidestepped around him and closed the bedroom door behind me.

I had dozed off at some point during the night when the tears had dried out. I felt his familiar large and warm frame curl around me. His soft lips pressed against my neck. "I'm so sorry." He croaked. "I'm an ass." His warm mouth continued down my neck, leaving small kisses. "Please forgive me baby." He mused and his hand drew under my night shirt. He reached my breast, touching softly, but his caress felt foreign to my body.

I wrestled around in his arms and let his lips lock around mine. I kissed him back. Jacob pushed himself closer to me and I felt his swelling erection at my thigh. "I need you so much baby." He grunted and plunged his tongue into my mouth. All of this was a pattern, after a fight the make-up sex would follow, but this time I wasn't having it. I didn't feel forgiveness rising inside of my body this time. I didn't want to ignore his sometimes erratic temper. I twisted my fingers into his glossy black hair and pushed his face from mine and glared at him.

"You just accused me of spreading my legs for another man! What in the world makes you believe I will spread them for you now?"

Jacob stared at me stunned and went completely still against me.

"Get out of the bed Jacob." I ordered. His eyes turned into black pools of hurt and he left.

That was our last night together. Through my agony and fear I filed the memory in the 'unhappy memory' box.

I opened my eyes and I stared at our hands; Edward's locked over mine, it made me feel less alone. "I am 24 years old and I am a widow." I said quietly. Life just sucks. I moved my eyes to his, feeling how black and hollow I was with sorrow. Everything felt so unfair as I spoke the words, even though it was what I had lived through for a year.

"How long were you married for?" Edward asked softly.

"A little more than a year." My vision glassed over, when an image of marrying Jacob flickered alive in my head.

"What was his name?" He asked in an even voice. My mouth fell open. I hadn't as much as spoken Jacob's name to him.

"Jacob" I croaked.

"What happened?" It was the third time he repeated the question.

"He just... died. They said it was an aggressive form of meningitis." I felt my empty heart beating harder as I spoke of my Jacob.

"Do you want to talk more about it?... or..." His voice vanished into thin air as he didn't finish.

"Do you think it'll help?" I heard my voice sound a little optimistic. My eyes were filled with tears, but they hadn't started to roll yet. "I mean... you said it helped you with Elizabeth, so I figured I might give it a try?"

He gave my hand a little squeeze. It felt encouraging. "Maybe it will." His words so soft it made the tears spill.

"It was Friday morning and when Jacob got up he had a fever. Nothing bad. He had a meeting so he didn't want to call in sick." I snorted and wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. "He called later during the day. He told me he felt really bad and that he was going home. He said he thought the fever was getting worse. When I got home, he was in bed, and I went to check on him. His fever was sky high and I couldn't wake him. He was so distant, slurring his words and shaking. So I called 911. It felt like forever until they arrived and I tried to get his clothes off, but he was too heavy, so I cut some of them. When the paramedics got there, they worked quickly, strapping him to a gurney and loading him into the ambulance. At the hospital they worked desperately to bring the temperature down, but nothing worked. 2 hours later..." My voice died, it was hard to speak with the lump in my throat. "He died... he just died, so fast and he left me all alone."

Edward's hand had moved to my arm, stroking it silently. I snorted again. I looked at him with tears streaming down my face. He was quiet as he watched me, so gentle and stunning is his comfort. I suddenly unleashed what I had been holding back for so long. I let my head fall onto Edward's shoulder, nuzzling my face against the base of his throat. A while after my breakdown he had put his arm around my shoulder and started stroking my hair. It was so comfortable. I cried hysterically for a long time and I was sobbing so hard my body shook and it was hard to breathe. In the midst of it all anger had taken over. I had struggled to free myself from his arms, but he had held me in place. When I had screamed during my psychotic meltdown and tried to punch his chest with my fists, he had let me, but forced my back against the sand and pacified me. I just let it all out and held nothing back. Edward never said a word. I hadn't even cried this much at the hospital or at the funeral – no one had gotten to me like this, no one had been able to break through to me before. No one had seen my real grief. And Edward had done it with such few words and I had melted in his capable hands. This I realized when I cried in Edwards arms. I needed him now, like I needed air to breathe.

Edward started asking questions and I answered every one of them, without hesitation.

The funeral had been an excruciating experience. And it felt like an out of body experience. I had been placed on the front church pew, between Jacob's mom and dad. I had insisted on sitting with Sheryl and Billy, much to my mother's horror. Alice sat behind me. My mother felt it was sending the wrong message to the rest of the participants. I couldn't care less; I just needed be where I felt safe. So I sat between the two people that considered me as much of a daughter as humanly possible without actually being genetically linked.

My father had missed the funeral all together, and to this day I don't think he will ever forgive himself. But he had been stuck deep in the forests, where rain had closed off many roads and he had spent the first days trying go get to somewhere. He had arrived back at Forks and then continued to Seattle for his connection flight to New York. And with all the bad luck the flight had been canceled due to another downpour and he had been stuck in Seattle airport while I buried my husband.

Sheryl had been so strong through the whole thing. Jacob was her only son; he had been an only child. But she had taken care of everything, though often interrupted by my mothers infuriating ideas of how a perfect funeral should be. Sheryl had been patient with my mother, but firm. I would have ripped her head off. Sheryl had taken care of herself, her husband and me. I had been watching and waiting for her to fall apart and when I asked her how she could keep going, she had answered; 'if I stopped doing things, I am afraid I will stop moving all together and what good will that do, so it is safest to keep busy.' But she was grieving, deeply and silently.

On the morning of the big event, I had completely lost it in the bedroom I shared with my Jacob when I had tried to put on my dress. I had just spoken to my dad; he had announced he would not be attending. My mother had insisted that I put on my best face, so we could pay Jacob the respect that was proper. Proper! The word had sent a chill down my spine and an attack to my mind. I had told my mother to 'shove it where the sun don't shine', for a lack of better expression and I had called Sheryl... selfish as I was. She and Billy had arrived. Sheryl had held me, wrapping her fairly enormous comforting arms around me, helped me in my dress and had taken me to the church along with her husband. So there I was, on that first pew between Jacob's parents, while I felt apart of me slowly going black, infested and die. It felt like the essence of my being was oozing from my body, and I was left like an empty shell.

I could hear the whispers behind me on the other rows. 'Look at her, she looks so tiny' an unrecognizable voice had said. 'I feel so sorry for her' another pitiful voice declared. But I didn't care about anything anymore.

I told Edward all of this as the day turned into evening. The light disappeared down behind the horizon, following the sun. I put all my cards on the table for him – he brought me out of my shell.

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I really hope you enjoyed and I'll see you for the next chapter

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