Lane's Odyssey

by traLane

After the Darkness takes over, Lois is given a chance to change the past and save Clark in the process. Rewrite of Season 8. Cover photo by Liesel at Kryptonsite.

13. Chapter 12 Legion Lessons

CHAPTER TWELVE – LEGION LESSONS

Kent Barn, same day

The inside of the barn was dark and quiet and Clark moved around the broken pieces of wood that littered the dirt floor. He was still in shock from the events of the past few hours. In a matter of minutes he'd lost two of the most important people in his life.

One was lying in a hospital bed unconscious, while the other had simply disappeared.

How had his life gotten so completely out of control?

All he'd wanted to do was to get through to Lois … break down the walls she'd put up since the Fortress. First, she'd told him it was her "destiny" to love him and then she'd pushed him away in anger. Confused and scared, he'd confronted her and now she was in the hospital unconscious.

Reaching into his pocket, Clark pulled out his phone and checked his messages, her pale face foremost in his mind. His heart sank at the empty screen. No word from Chloe. A message from Chloe meant news … no message, no change.

His heart filled with guilt as he thought of his reaction to Lois' explanation for the way she'd been behaving lately. He should have known she was telling the truth but he'd been upset and … jealous. He could admit that now.

Excuse? I'm telling you what's been happening-

Afraid of losing her, he'd reacted badly. Now he couldn't shake the idea that he was responsible somehow … that he'd pushed her too hard. All he'd wanted was a response. He couldn't stand her pulling away from him. In just a couple of days he'd come to miss her so much.

I've been honest with you, Clark. Let me ask you, have you been as honest with me?

Alone in silence, he shook his head as if she was standing there with him. He hadn't been honest with Lois, not because he was trying to keep things from her but because … well, he hadn't been honest with himself. It was so simple. His feelings for her were stronger than he wanted to admit. He'd been hanging onto their friendship, afraid of losing her if they became more than friends ...

With shaky legs he started up the stairs to look at the damage to the loft, Lois' words echoing in his head.

I know you don't want me, so leave me alone!

She was wrong. He'd been scared but not wanting her wasn't possible.

Half the time, he was so busy fighting his attraction for her that he couldn't speak coherently. No other woman had ever tempted him so physically. Even fighting with her this afternoon stirred his senses until he wanted to simply throw her over his shoulder and carry her away to some place where he could touch her.

He'd meant it when he told her that actions speak louder than words.

But she'd heard about Lana's powers somehow and just assumed that Clark would go back to her. Well, if actions speak louder … his head hung down in shame and stopped about halfway up.

Based on his past actions, he could understand why Lois would make that assumption. In fact, he had considered trying again with Lana. After all, she was what he'd wanted for so long. Then he spent time with both Lana and Lois and ended up comparing the two, despite his best intentions. A couple of weeks ago he'd begun to realize that what he really wanted with Lana was closure, but then she'd made herself powerful … for him. He'd spent most of this week trying to decide if that made a difference.

In the end it was his mother's words that helped him make up his mind. This was her choice and you're not bound by it. You need to think about how you feel. If you let guilt influence you … you'll make a mistake.

Unfortunately, guilt seemed to be a constant in his relationship with Lana, frequently leading him back to her, and he'd let the emotion delay him again. He was pathetic, still doing the same things and following the same patterns.

Even when he tried to take a stand and make a choice, disaster struck. His hands fisted at his sides and he leaned against the rough wood wall on the right side of the stairs. The problem was that he may have waited too long. Afraid of ending up alone, he'd tried to keep both women in his life, not wanting to hurt either, and had ended up hurting both in the end.

He could see Lana's face as she stood in the doorway earlier this evening, her eyes on the pale woman in his arms. Her hurt and resigned expression told him that she'd seen him kiss Lois before she collapsed.

"Clark, what happened?"

"I don't know," he told her, looking down at Lois' pale face.

He was speaking to Lois softly and rubbing her palm with his thumb, but those things weren't working.

Clark started to panic. Nothing was happening.

"Lois, come on. It'll be all right; I promise," his voice broke on the last word.

"Clark, is this related to what happened before?" Lana was standing at his shoulder now.

"I' m not sure," he told her, his voice sounding lost even to his own ears. The longer it was taking, the more jumbled his thoughts were becoming.

Before he could say anything else, Lana looked at him pointedly, "Clark, just go. Get her to the hospital-"

Clark nodded, feeling his brain starting to clear … the hospital.

Just as he'd planned to super speed to the hospital, Kara appeared in the barn door, her startled glance going from him to Lois to Lana and back. Clark was ready to ignore his cousin and let Lana explain, but the strange white light appeared in the loft, followed by a crashing sound that startled them all.

Opening his eyes, Clark pulled away from the wall and surveyed the damage below, not ready to climb to the loft just yet. A few hours ago, there'd been no damage to the barn. He blinked slowly as he realized how fast everything had gone horribly wrong.

In a flash of yellow and blue, Kara was up the stairs followed by another crashing sound and a shout from Kara, "Hey, what are you doing?"

At the question, Clark started forward, wondering why anyone was in the loft.

Lana put her hand on his arm and looked at Lois. "I'll go," she said quietly, speeding up the stairs.

She didn't speak until she reached the top of the stairs, then he heard her cry out, "Kara, watch out!"

There was the sound of splintering wood and Kara shot through the loft wall and landed on the floor a few feet from Clark. Focused on his wide-eyed cousin Clark was shocked when an axe-wielding giant jumped through the debris and followed her down to the first level.

Frozen for a minute, Clark could only take in the attacker's size. He looked like a giant; his arms and legs were like tree trunks, his rough metal mask covering everything but a pair of beady eyes. Clark hadn't seen such a large man since he'd gone up against Titan a couple of years before. Some part of his mind wondered if the man was a Zoner but then the giant swung his rough-hewn axe at Kara with a roar and Clark forgot about his origins as he rushed forward to help his cousin.

What he was going to do with his arms full of Lois was a mystery but, before he could do anything, Lana jumped down from the second level onto the giant's back. Taken by the surprise, the giant flinched and the axe missed Kara's head by inches.

From her position on his back, Lana tried to reach for the weapon but the attacker turned his back sharply, swinging Lana into Kara. Both women fell to the floor and the giant continued circling the axe around in just in time to connect with Kara's arm.

Clark heard the crunch before he saw the blood, shocked that the weapon worked. Kara staggered back in surprise as Lana rose to her feet, reaching under the large man's arm to hold the weapon. As they wrestled for the axe, Kara moved forward with a roundhouse kick to the giant's stomach. "Let go," she cried to Lana, who released the axe as soon as Kara's foot hit their assailant. The man in metal went flying through the air, and a couple of support posts, before landing up against the barn wall.

He twitched a little and Kara stalked over to kick him again. She jerked the weapon from his fingers.

"I'll take that," she told him, looking more closely at his hand. "Hey, look at thi-"

Those were the last words Clark heard from her. In a brilliant flash of white light, Kara and the man completely disappeared.

"Lana," Clark choked out.

"I'm on it Clark," Lana told him. "Go; take Lois," she added before speeding away to look for his cousin.

Straightening, Clark looked around the barn, still stunned by everything that had happened. He needed to clean up but couldn't make himself do it. All the damage, all of the losses were just too fresh, too new. Checking his phone one more time to confirm no messages, he used his super speed and took off, running in a northerly direction, hoping to find his lost cousin - and make things right - somehow.

Metropolis, December 5, 2008

They were back in the warehouse with the truth or dare murderer, the jeweler moving between them like a mad scientist, adjusting knobs and talking all the while.

Across from him Clark could see just see Lois tied to a post with chains, electrodes practically covering her body. The jeweler was speaking but he couldn't hear the words through the pain. There was so much pain … and nausea …and sweating. Everything seemed to be covered in a green mist. Then Clark saw the Kryptonite … at his feet and on the jeweler's wrist.

"Oh, yes," the jeweler told Clark. "I knew that you were the one, the one who cared, the one who needed to be honest with her," the jeweler paused and even his eyes seemed to glow green. "But you haven't been honest, have you? Don't you know that you'll never truly have her love unless you're honest with her?"

Out of the green mist Lana appeared standing next to the jeweler, looking like she had in high school. "You need to be honest with her, Clark."

His head hung down in shame. Lana was right … he needed to be honest.

"If he saves you … you're more important to him than you realize," the jeweler turned his green eyes to Lois.

Clark looked up at those words and watched as Kara appeared out of the mist, standing next to Lana. "You didn't save me, Kal-El. Am I not important to you?"

Clark tried to speak, to tell Kara that she was special; she was his family, but he couldn't say a word.

Then Lois seemed to glow brighter and he realized with a start that he was losing her … her head hung down and her body had gone completely still. Clark could almost see her spirit leaving her body. The jeweler was killing her and he hadn't even given Clark a chance to save her.

He struggled against the chains that bound him. He tried to call out but no words came. All he could do was watch. He knew the exact moment she was gone.

There was so much pain.

His chest was on fire and tears streamed down his cheeks. He tried to scream but, again, there was no sound.

The pain in his chest was tortuous. He looked down and saw that there was Kryptonite, right where his heart should be.

His cry echoed off the walls before everything went dark.

Clark's eyes opened slowly, watching as the green mist dissipated and the warehouse was surrounded in white light. The green mist had disappeared.

Shapes became visible at the same time Clark realized he was free … free to move. He walked toward one of the shapes and recognized a platform. He was in the Fortress alone.

He was completely alone. The pain in his chest returned and, for a minute, he couldn't breathe.

That's when he saw her. She was walking toward him looking around like she was searching for something.

"Lois." Clark called out, his voice echoing in the empty silence of the Fortress.

"Smallville," she turned to him with a smile, but it was off somehow. There was sadness and resignation in it. Slowly she walked to him and placed her hands on each side of his face. The pain in his chest eased. He waited to hear her words. He needed to hear the words.

" I know I'm not important to you …" Her smile faded. "You didn't save me."

His heart stopped; those weren't the words. His chest exploded with pain. "No, that's not true. I love-"

But she was gone in a flash of white.

"Nooo, Lois."

"Lois."

"Lois!" Clark started awake with his heart pounding in his chest so hard that it hurt.

He'd fallen asleep at his desk again. Carefully, he sat up and looked around the newsroom. No one seemed to be paying him any attention. Unobtrusively, he straightened his tie and rubbed his hands over his face. He felt the moisture there and frowned. Every time he fell asleep it was the same dream, always the same, and every time he woke to sweat and tears.

Quietly Clark made his way to the men's room and used the sink to splash some cold water on his face. He was surprised that the face that looked back at him appeared so normal. He should be grateful that his outer appearance didn't reflect what was going on inside. He'd probably look like some sort of crazed Jekyll and Hyde. That's certainly how he'd felt since Lois was hospitalized.

Slowly, he walked back to his desk, keeping his eyes fixed straight ahead, making an effort not to look at the empty desk across from his own.

"Hey, C.K.," Jimmy's voice reached Clark as he was about to sit down. He stopped and forced out a tight smile.

"Uhm, you going to the hospital tonight?" Jimmy asked him carefully.

Clark nodded, not trusting his voice to work.

"Okay, well … we'll see you there, then," he said giving Clark a pat on the arm.

Clark raised his hand in farewell. "Right," he croaked. "See you there."

He ran his hand over his tired eyes as they travelled involuntarily to her name plate. It seemed to mock him.

You need me, Smallville.

After days of hearing her voice in his head, he had to fight the childish urge to stick his fingers in his ears. Even when she was unconscious, she was lecturing him, prodding him to let it all out.

The impact of her absence was still a shock to him. He'd expected to miss her … knew that he would worry about her and want her to get better. What he hadn't expected was the crushing weight of all his other emotions … pain, guilt, frustration, hurt, sorrow, and want. His feelings were so strong at times that they frightened him.

So every day he made an effort to keep things normal. He arrived at work on time. He sat down at his desk and nodded at a few co-workers. Sometimes, he typed a few words. More often than not he blurred away to save those in distress. The extra effort was necessary without Kara around.

Each day he ate lunch, usually at the same time, and tried not to look at the empty desk across from him. After lunch, he typed a few more words and made a few more rescues.

When the pain, fear, or want would overwhelm him, he'd stuff his feelings deep inside, telling himself that everything would be fine. The easiest way to keep the emotions at bay was to keep things normal … to work, rescue, and eat. He could do that.

The only problem was that, no matter how he tried, nothing felt normal without her.

Each day it got worse and now it seemed like he was two different people. At times, his emotions and reactions were so over-the-top that he was afraid he would hurt someone. The rest of the time, he clamped down on his emotions so tightly that he felt numb.

These reactions weren't new. He'd certainly been known to bury his emotions before, put aside what he was feeling for the good of others, but never so severely. If he kept this up, he was sure he would become an emotionless shell. While that thought should scare him, had scared him in the past, it didn't anymore. A big part of him welcomed the idea of a life without guilt, anger, fear, sorrow, or want.

Maybe that's what being a real Kryptonian was about.

If so, then he finally felt like he was coming to grips with his destiny.

My destiny is to love you.

The voice in his head was so clear that Clark actually turned his head to look for her. When he realized what was happening, he shut his eyes tight and fought the urge to beat his head against the desk, ready to try anything to keep her voice out. Every day he grew emptier, her voice grew stronger, as if she knew he was slipping away.

Behind closed lids, he could see her face clearly as she faced him, warmth and caring in her expression. She stood so close that he could see the brown and green in her almond-shaped eyes and feel her breath on his face. He held his own as her hands reached up to clasp his face between her palms. In his mind, he stood still until her lips touched his and then he was achingly alive in her kiss. Only she had that power … to make him feel so real and so alive.

Clark bit back a moan and slammed his hands onto the surface of the desk, pushing himself away. He had to get out of there. Ignoring looks from some of his co-workers, he strode to the stairwell where he blurred into his red and blue and took off into the night, trying to keep things normal, like that would ever be possible now.

A couple hours and a couple of saves later, Clark was at the hospital, trying to fight his overwhelming emotions, feeling a little guilty for extra bumps and bruises the bad guys had experienced at his hands tonight.

He stood at the window wanting to smash his hand through it. God, the numbness was so much better than this … no one in this room could handle it if he let go of everything he was feeling right now. Only years of practice prevented Clark from giving into the urge to demolish the room, to wave his arm across it and send everything flying, to rave at Chloe to just shut up. In the hospital surrounded by everyone else, it was so hard for him to pretend he was okay.

That's why he tried to bury his emotions. Too bad she wouldn't let him.

On the other side of the room, Dr. Hamilton was telling Chloe the same thing he'd told her the night before … and the night before that. It was the same discussion they'd had every night since Lois was admitted. Clark tried to tune them out.

"Couldn't this be related to the PTSD? You said her brain waves seem normal-" Chloe asked.

"It's possible but that doesn't leave us with many options in terms of treatment …" Dr. Hamilton responded carefully.

It was always the same. Chloe argued with Dr. Hamilton, while Jimmy looked on uncomfortably and Clark kept silent. He couldn't understand why Chloe did it. She knew what was wrong with Lois; they both did. Still Chloe felt compelled to engage in the same useless exercise.

Clark took a deep breath and tried to control his frustration. It didn't matter what Dr. Hamilton suggested. Traditional medicine was not going to work. Lois was infected by Brainiac and there was no way to remove it. The Phantom Zone crystal, which might have worked, was gone with Kara and her attacker.

Despite his efforts, his frustration continued to build as he thought about what he'd learned that first night in the hospital. After looking for Kara, he'd returned to find J'onn waiting for him in Lois' room.

"I saw her last night and suspected something was wrong," J'onn told Clark and Chloe, turning his head to look at Lois' still form. "She had an unnatural animosity to any mention of …" He looked at Clark.

"Me," Clark finished bitterly, nodding for his friend to continue.

"I took her hand before I left and I could feel its presence in her."

"Its … what?" Chloe asked, her eyes going from J'onn to Clark and back again. "What 'it' are we talking about?" Clark watched as the light went on. "No, not Brainiac," she gasped, staring at Lois' pale form and then glaring at Clark. "How could that happen?" The fire faded as realization struck. "The Fortress …"

Clark watched as the wheels turned. The fire was back in her eyes in an instant. "How could you let that happen?"

He stood quietly with his hands in his pockets. What could he say? There was no excuse.

J'onn interrupted, looking between the two of them. "I think we can remove the Construct."

"How?" Chloe took her eyes away from Clark to focus on J'onn. "How do we get rid of that thing without the Fortress?"

Having her glare focused on him seemed to take the Martian by surprise. His eyes went wide. "Well, Kara has the Phantom Zone crystal and we've talked about how to use it to remove the infection from the Fortress-"

"Kara isn't here," Clark interrupted flatly, closing his eyes when he realized the full impact of Kara's disappearance. Was it coincidence? Probably not. "She was attacked earlier in the barn by a guy with an axe, and then they both disappeared."

His friend's dark eyes looked at him questioningly and Chloe's were filled with disbelief. "Are you kidding me?" She demanded. "How did she just disappear?"

"She's gone, Chloe," Clark knew his tone was frustrated but he didn't care. "There was this white light and she was gone. Lana and I have been looking for her but we haven't had any luck so far."

J'onn nodded determinedly. "Then I'll join Ms. Lang in the search," he told them. "Tell me what you can about this attacker," he ordered Clark.

While Clark was explaining to J'onn, a worried Chloe stepped over to Lois and Clark's eyes followed her. J'onn leaned in and placed his hand on Clark's arm. "Lois is strong, Kal-El," he told Clark. "If anyone can survive the Construct, she can."

Clark nodded, looking at the pale figure on the bed. She was one of the strongest people he knew but she was only human …

And with all his powers, he couldn't do anything to save her. J'onn had joined in the search for Kara … without luck. Clark and J'onn had gone to the Fortress but the place was still dark, infected by the Construct. Clark had even called Victor at one point to see if he had any ideas. Nothing worked.

It was like Ryan, Alicia, or his father all over again. What good were his powers if he couldn't save his friends and family? His hand flexed just a little toward the window and he shoved both fists into his pockets. He should just keep his hands to himself tonight.

When Davis checked in at the same time to follow up and talk to Chloe about treatments, it was all Clark could do not to rip his head off. Thankfully, he didn't stay long. He never stayed long, his eyes always darting to Clark while he was there. Sometimes Clark could see the accusation in them; other times it was just wariness.

Tonight he ignored the paramedic, waiting for visiting hours to be over. If the past few days were any indication, he wouldn't find peace until everyone was gone.

Finally, it was Jimmy who gave the word, just like clockwork.

"Come on, Chloe. We should probably go," Jimmy's voice breached Clark's thoughts and his body relaxed.

"Coming, C.K?"

Clark nodded, avoiding Chloe's pointed gaze. She probably knew about his late-night visits but he didn't care. He carefully schooled his features as he walked out, making his farewells in the parking lot. When everyone was gone he turned on his heel and headed back into the hospital.

After the past six days, he could no longer deny Lois' impact on him. Ironic that she brought stability to his life, when she had so little in her own - still, he knew now - he was off-kilter and unbalanced without her.

Clark bent his head over her hand, wrapping his larger one around it, feeling a sense of calm through her still fingers. There was pain here but it didn't overwhelm him. At least he could talk about his feelings with her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

No one can guarantee my safety, Clark. You can't be the hero every day, all day long.

"Still, I should have told you …"

Tell me what's in your heart. That's what matters

So he told her about the day, about losing it and hitting a couple of criminals a little harder than he should have, about his nightmare, and how he'd fallen asleep at his desk.

At the end of it, feeling the hope that always seemed to come back when he spent this time with her, he knew that his failures would never stop him from trying. She would expect nothing less.

Rule number six - always cover your bases.

Rubbing soft circles in her palm with one hand, he used the other to open the drawer to the bedside table, pulling out his Dad's copy of Tom Sawyer. Turning the dog-eared pages to the place he'd left off the night before, Clark started to read softly, "Tom was a glittering hero once more - the pet of the old, the envy of the young." He looked up at her face, always expecting to see a smile or a smirk, turning back to the book with a heavy heart when her eyes remained closed.

"His name even went into immortal print, for the village paper magnified him. There were some that believed he would be President, yet, if he escaped hanging.…"

Her heart rate slowed at the sound of your voice - tell me, have you brought her out of these before?

Dr. Hamilton's words echoed in the back of his mind as he continued reading.

The dawn was breaking when he stopped, marking the page and tucking the book out of sight. Off in the city he heard a cry for help. Leaning down, he gave a quick kiss to the woman lying there and whispered a final reminder before speeding away, "You promised," he said, his voice rumbling next to her ear, talking to her - talking, just in case.

… tell me, have you brought her out of these before?

"Remember, you promised," Clark whispered again.

And then it was there – her voice in his head – sounding like she was right next to him.

Promise … I'll never leave you.

Kent farm, same morning

Clark sped into the barn. There was time to do the chores before showering and heading into work. He stopped suddenly when he realized it was Saturday.

The week was over and it was the weekend - not a work day. What was he supposed to do? He panicked, knowing that he would need something to keep himself occupied.

Walking more slowly, he looked at the destruction to the barn and nodded. He'd just found a way to spend the day. If he didn't use powers, it should take him at least eight hours to finish the repairs. A part of him sighed with relief.

"Hey, this is his jacket!"

Startled, Clark looked up. An unfamiliar boy's voice wafted down from the loft. "I saw this at the museum months ago …"

"Put that down, Garth-" Clark could hear another man's voice now.

"Oh, get the magnet out of your ass, Rokk," the young voice was interrupted as Clark sped up the stairs, stopping when he saw three strangers in his loft, two men and a woman, with one very familiar figure.

"Kara," Clark choked out, rushing forward to hug his cousin. "Kara! Where have you been?"

Her lack of response was deafening. Clark pulled away to search her face.

"I … I can't really tell you that, Clark," she said softly, looking over his shoulder at the three strangers.

Clark stared at her in shock. "No!" He shouted. "I won't accept that, not after … You've been gone for almost a week, Kara." Clark took a deep breath and lowered his voice. "Tell me … what happened?"

One of the men behind him spoke up. "She's been with us, Kal-El. I know this is going to sound strange to you, but we're … we're from the future."

Clark turned to the dark-haired man slowly and looked at him carefully. He was young and serious with brown hair and eyes to match. With all the questions racing in his head he held onto the first question that came to mind, "How do you know that name?"

The grinning red-head holding his school jacket was the one that answered. "We know everything about you, man. One of these days you'll be known as Su-"

"Garth," the dark-haired man interrupted tersely. "You know better than that." He looked at Clark apologetically. "There are rules-"

"I don't care about your rules!" After the last week, Clark's patience was at an end. "My cousin's been missing; my … Lois is unconscious in the hospital. Just tell me what's going on."

The dark-haired man sighed. "The man who was in your barn – the Persuader – he stole a ring from us and traveled back in time. We think his purpose was to destroy the crystal-"

"But I had it on me," Kara interrupted, seeing the look on Clark's face. "And when I grabbed the axe I touched the ring and we traveled forward. The Legion found me …"

"Legion … what kind of Legion?" Clark asked, looking around at the three strangers.

"It doesn't matter," the dark-haired man answered. "Just know that we're friends-"

Wait a minute," the third stranger, a young blond woman spoke up, looking concerned suddenly. "Did you say Lois?" She looked at the other two. "Lois Lane is unconscious?"

Clark nodded, and the woman's look spoke volumes. "That shouldn't be possible."

"Well, she is, and has been, for almost a week," Clark told them, stepping forward, feeling his sense of helplessness turning to anger at the thought that these people from the future knew something about Lois. If they did, they'd better share … He let his eyes roam over each of their faces, and it was only their clear concern that calmed his hostility.

Rokk spoke first, looking at the blond girl. "The protections …"

Something clicked in Clark's memory. "Jor-El mentioned that Lois' mind had certain protections," he said stepping forward, his hands itching to hit something again. "Are you the ones that put them there?"

It was Kara's hand on his arm that stopped him from grabbing the boy and shaking the information out of him. "Why is Lois unconscious, Kal-El?"

Clark looked at her and he knew the guilt was in his expression, "She's been infected by Brainiac," he told her.

In Kara's eyes he saw a quick flash of pain, reflecting her own experience with the Construct. He winced and heard the words from his nightmare.

You didn't save me, Kal-El. Am I not important to you?

As stressed as he was about Lois, he needed to let Kara know … he hugged her tightly. "I'm glad you're back, Kara. We'll find a way to save her."

"I may have it, Kal-El," she told him, after returning his embrace. She pulled back to look at him and the others. "We should try the crystal on Lois first, before we take it to the Fortress."

"Wait," Clark said slowly. "You still have the crystal with you?"

At her nod, he grabbed her arms excitedly. "Then we need to get to the hospital right away. J'onn said he thought the crystal was the only thing that would work. Nothing else has … we need to go," Clark told her urgently, his heart racing at the thought of Lois awake and alive, returned to them, returned to him …

"Follow me," Clark told them, starting to race away.

"Kal-El," Kara said, stopping him at the top of the stairs. He turned to see Kara and the three newcomers floating above the floor … ready for flight. "We'll meet you there."

Of course they could fly.

He marveled at the level of Lois' influence when he rolled his eyes at Kara. "Fine, I'll see you there … room 207."

Clark couldn't seem to calm his racing heart as he sped back into the city, only to find Lois still unconscious while Kara and her friends worked around her. Kara was trying to get the crystal in place while the young blond stood by Lois' forehead, hand resting there.

"She's in there but she's weak," the young woman said.

Clark felt his heart skip. The pain in his chest was sudden, sharp, and deep.

Kara placed the crystal on Lois' forehead as well, next to the woman's hand, and activated it. Nothing happened.

The young woman shook her head at the others while Clark walked forward. "It's not working."

"Why not?" Kara asked. "It should work. The concept is sound."

To Clark's surprise, the red-haired man – Garth, was it? – grabbed Lois' hand and squeezed. "Come on … come on," he urged. "The great Lois Lane does not give up."

How well did these kids know Lois? What had they done?

Clark walked up to the dark-haired man … Rokk. "What's happening?"

"The crystal isn't working to extract Brainiac. It should work," he said almost absentmindedly. "History tells us-" He stopped abruptly, as if he realized he'd revealed too much.

"History's changed, Rokk," Imra told him quietly. "She's changed it and now-"

Garth interrupted, "Still, the protections should have prevented this."

"That's it! It is the protections," Imra told him. "The Construct has penetrated the protections we placed in her mind and is somehow hiding within them." The girl was obviously uneasy.

"What can we do?" Clark demanded. If these kids created the problem, as he was beginning to suspect, then they could certainly come up with some solutions.

"Imra," Rokk said to the young blond. "How long do we have?"

She shook her head. "Not long. We're losing her-"

"No!" Clark shouted before he even realized he'd spoken.

"We're going to have to take her with us," Rokk told Imra, nodding to Kara and Garth. They responded back with nods of their own.

Instinctively, Clark knew that he was being left out. "With you …" he repeated to Rokk, grabbing the young man's arm. "Where are you taking her?"

Kara came around from the head of the bed and removed Clark's arm. "Kal-El, we need to take her ahead to the future. We can help her there," she looked at him with deep sympathy. "You need to let us do this."

Clark shook his head before she was finished. "I'm going with you."

"You can't," Kara told him, fear and understanding swirling behind her eyes.

"I will," Clark argued forcefully. "I can't leave her-"

"She's fading," Imra shouted out. "We need to go now!"

As he watched, Kara turned from him and raised her fist in the air to meet three others. That's when Clark realized they were all wearing rings.

I touched the ring and we traveled forward …

Timing it carefully, not bothering to listen to the words they spoke, Clark reached for Kara's hand just as the white light started to glow.

As soon as he covered her hand with his he heard the panic in her voice, "Kal-El, no … you can't-"

He didn't hear the rest. His senses shut down as he was surrounded by bright white light.

When the light quickly faded, Clark stumbled a little, feeling disoriented. Looking around, he realized he was in a dark room that looked vaguely familiar. He and Kara were still in Lois' hospital room but it was empty and dark. In fact the entire building seemed quiet, too quiet.

"Kara, where are we?" Something about the quiet encouraged Clark to keep his voice low. "Where's Lois?"

"I don't know," she said looking around the room as if it would give her the answers. "I wasn't focused." Her voice was flustered as she looked around. "We're in the future but I don't know-"

Before she could finish, an explosion rocked the side of the building. The force of it threw Clark and Kara forward, although they managed to maintain their balance.

"What was that?" Kara exclaimed. "This doesn't look good, Kal-El."

Screams rent the air and Clark grabbed Kara's hand. Wherever they might be, people were in trouble. He and Kara were needed.

Running at human speed toward the sound of the blast, Clark was stopped when Kara planted her feet in the hallway, keeping a tight grip on his hand. Clark turned toward her in shock. What was she doing?

"Kara, people need our help-"

"We're not supposed to be here," she told him solemnly, her gazed tinged with fear. "We have to leave. This isn't right. I wasn't thinking clearly when you grabbed my hand." She leaned forward to emphasize, "I need to use the ring again if we're going to help Lois."

Lois' name made Clark pause. He wanted to go with her, needed to be with her … but his body was fighting to respond to the sounds of screaming, punctuated by more explosions in the distance. Whatever was going on, it sounded like a war zone.

"Kara, couldn't we-"

"No, Kal-El!" Kara seemed almost panicked now. "The more we see of the future, the worse we could make it, and if we interfere …" Her voice trailed away meaningfully.

While Clark considered her words another blast shook them both.

"It could get worse?" Clark commented, looking around at the damage. "Come on, Kara. Just for a few minutes … we can't leave things like this."

He pulled her along again, listening for the loudest screaming, which seemed to be coming from the waiting room. Before they could reach it, Kara pulled on his arm again, bringing him to a halt a couple of feet from the intersecting hallway. Putting her finger to her lips, she pulled him forward slowly and looked around the corner.

Her gasp brought him forward but Kara turned, trying to block his view and push him back at the same time. "We need to get out of here," she whispered.

It was then that Clark saw the red of the sky, not like a sunset, but a more permanent tint that seemed to color everything. For a minute he felt weak and disoriented, like he didn't have his abilities … and then he saw her.

Lois was with a group of people crowded into the waiting room. She looked alert and relatively unharmed. Hungrily his eyes searched her face, noting that she didn't look any older, only her hair was darker. If they were in the future, it was the near future …

Her voice carried as Kara tried to push Clark away. "What makes you think you have the right to herd us in here like cattle?" Lois demanded.

Clark's breath caught at the sound - so angry and yet so alive. He felt something stir deep inside, an emotion that had desperately tried to numb in the past few days.

"What right?" a woman scoffed. "We have the right of superiority. As a General's daughter, you should understand that, Ms. Lane."

Lois covered her surprise quickly, but not fast enough. The woman smiled. "Oh, yes, we know everything about you," the woman told Lois, something in her stance familiar to Clark. He tried to look past Kara but she was still pushing at him.

"Kara, who are those people?" Clark whispered the question. He'd seen recognition in her eyes. In response, Kara shook her head and continued to pull at him, her eyes begging him to back away.

"How is that possible?" Lois responded, standing tall, seemingly unfazed by the woman's superior attitude. "You Kryptonians just got here!"

Clark started, his confused expression traveling from Lois to Kara and back again. For a minute he pulled himself back to ask Kara what was going on and his eyes spotted the calendar hanging on the wall in the nurses' station behind her. It was May of 2010, only a year and half into the future. How could things have come to this so quickly?

Before he could ask Kara, before he could say anything, their leader appeared. There was no question by his bearing and clothing that this man was the leader. Trailing behind were two more men in military apparel, dragging a prisoner between them.

Clark's breath seemed to catch in his chest.

The figure who was hanging on the two soldiers looked familiar, but Clark couldn't see the prisoner's face because his head was down. He was dressed all in black, in a ripped t-shirt, jeans and boots. As soon as Lois saw him, she gasped. The prisoner slowly lifted his head and Clark felt his stomach drop. It churned as if he were going to be sick and his head spun. There was a reason the prisoner looked so familiar …

"Clark?" Lois whispered softly.

The prisoner looked straight ahead without flinching. "Clark Kent is dead," he said, with a voice as emotionless as the blank expression on his bruised and battered face.

That one remark, so cold and unaffected, seemed to push Lois to the breaking point. Clark had never seen her so devastated. Without thinking he moved forward – what he planned to do wasn't clear – but he needed to wipe the defeat from her face and comfort her somehow.

Kara tightened her grip, hissing at him. "You can't. If you run into yourself here, you could destroy the very fabric of time."

Clark stopped, holding himself back with difficulty, especially when the leader spoke. "I'm sorry Ms. Lane," he said with mock sympathy. "Let me introduce your precious Blur. Turns out he is one of us," he waved his arm in the prisoner's direction.

For a minute, Clark thought Lois looked surprised by the information – and he wondered at it – before she schooled her features. "He's nothing like you, General Zod," Lois spit out angrily, crossing her arms beneath her chest. Her look told him the Kryptonians weren't the only ones with inside information.

At the name of their leader, Clark felt his heart twist. How had Zod returned to Earth and who was his host this time? The man didn't look familiar. Was this what the future held?

Clark's mind was reeling.

"Of course not," the General told her, reaching out to kick the prisoner's legs out from beneath him. "He is nothing … not worthy of being Kryptonian. He could never defeat us after being raised by humans." Zod spit out the word as Lois ran to Clark and put her arms around him. Clark heard his prisoner self grunt in pain.

"God, Clark, why did you leave me … I mean, why did you leave us?" Lois asked, tears starting to fall down her face. She brushed his hair back softly. "You didn't have to face them on your own; turn your back on everyone …" Just then, Lois lifted her eyes and Clark saw the recognition in hers as she looked down the hall.

For a full minute their eyes met and Clark could feel the pull, the connectionthat he'd missed so desperately when she was unconscious.

My destiny is to love you.

Pulling his eyes away, he glanced at himself in her arms. This future Clark wasn't responding to her embrace and Clark marveled at it. Right now, if he was in her arms, he'd be reacting and fiercely. One thought lead to another and suddenly, Clark knew what had happened. He'd embraced the numbness that he'd been experiencing for the past few days and had buried his emotions … then he'd turned his back on Lois and allowed this future to take hold.

His eyes sought hers out again.

You need me, Smallville.

The words didn't have to be said. They were in the hazel depths of her eyes. They were written in the blankness of the expression of the man she was holding. Something important had been lost in this future - Clark's emotional side - and now humanity was paying the price.

Heart racing, pulse pounding in reaction, Clark barely felt it as he was pulled back into the adjacent hallway. Kara was talking to him but he couldn't hear the words. All he could see were Lois' pain-filled eyes, all he could feel was this pull to her … this need. Vaguely he realized Kara was leading him quickly down the hall and, this time, he let himself be taken.

In the distance he could hear shouts and he wondered if they'd been spotted. Quickly, Kara pulled him into one of the empty rooms and shut the door. Grabbing Clark's hand she looked at him strangely before activating the ring. With a start he realized that he was in pain, sweating and nauseous. It was as if he'd been exposed to Kryptonite … or to his nightmare.

For a second he considered the cause and wondered if it was seeing himself or seeing the future itself that was making him sick. Then all of it disappeared in a flash of white.

Legion, 3011

Again, Clark found himself standing in a sterile white room similar to the hospital room they'd just vacated. As soon as he could make out the surroundings, his vision blurred and he stumbled, almost losing his footing. It was Kara who supported him.

"What happened?" Clark could hear Rokk's voice but he couldn't answer through the pain, nausea, and sweating.

Kara simply told him that she'd made a mistake that had taken them ahead only a couple of years. During her explanation he realized that another arm was supporting him in addition to Kara's. He followed where they led and sat down.

"Why is he sick?" Clark heard Kara asked Rokk quietly. "Time travel never affected me that way?"

"Did you run into … anyone in particular?"

"Yes," Kara told him. "I'm sorry, but he wanted to help and he ran into Lois and himself … his future self."

"There wasn't contact, was there?" Rokk demanded anxiously.

"No, I warned him about ruining time-"

"Still, it's disorienting to see versions of yourself in the future. Some are affected more than others …" His voice trailed off as he became all business.

"You ready, Garth?"

"Yes, the devices are ready and the two of them prepared."

Clark grabbed Kara's arm, thinking about Rokk's words. "Was that … what we saw … was that real?"

"The future is always changing, Kal-El," Kara told him. "That is the future based on the way things might happen from now on out. I don't know if it will be..."

Clark was feeling too sick to respond. Leaning his head back, he concentrated on listening instead and tried to shut out the nausea.

"What's going on?" Kara asked.

"We have to remove the protections," Garth responded. "We're going to return the memories to their … uhm, rightful owner and withdraw Brainiac from there."

Kara's voice was stunned. "Is that …?"

"Yeah … freaky, huh?" Garth commented.

Kara's silence frightened Clark more than anything and so he opened his eyes, directing them automatically to the woman on the table.

Lois's face seemed distinct and no longer fuzzy around the edges, so Clark took a deep breath. His vision was clear. Cautiously, he stood and looked around, noting the presence of another bed and another …

No, it couldn't be.

God, it looked just like Lois, except her hair was dark and short. Mechanically, Clark moved forward on shaky legs, his eyes darting between the two women. As he got closer, he could see that the other Lois was older and then his breath caught at the scars on her neck.

Visions of the past months played out in his mind … a nervous Lois reaching up absentmindedly to rub her neck. He remembered after a few weeks taking her hand in his, recognizing the mannerism as one that meant Lois was stressed. Once her hand was in his, it seemed so natural to rub his thumb across the palm, to feel the thrill of touching her while, at the same time, calming her with his touch.

Without warning, Clark was hit with another wave of pain, nausea and sweating. Automatically he reached out for Kara but his vision blurred and he missed her shoulder, falling forward on his knees. A quick vision of the scars on Lois's neck appeared in his mind and he wondered what had happened to her.

Now there were two of them. What did that mean?

That was his last thought before he lost consciousness.

When Clark came to, he was seated again, and he could hear the others talking about the procedure. He must not have been out for long.

He blinked and realized his vision was still burry. He closed his eyes and the conversation around him became clearer.

"The particles are electro-magnetic," Rokk was explaining. "I think Garth can neutralize the electricity while I extract the Nanites. Imra will monitor both women to make sure we're not doing any damage."

After a few seconds of nothing but electronic noise, Rokk spoke, "Let's do this."

"Hey, Lois … and Lois," Garth said, and Clark instinctively knew that Lois would like this kid. "No more Reasoning Interval Repeating Cylinder, you'll be happy to know. We've modified the ring so it does all the work now."

"Get in position. Brainiac is taking over," Imra directed the two men urgently, and Clark tried to open his eyes.

The white light forced them closed again.

After only a few minutes, Imra announced, "It's done."

Then there was the sound and feel of electricity in the air. Clark opened his eyes in time to see Garth's hands drop to his sides, Rokk's hands extend over the older Lois, and gray particles separate themselves from her to float above her. When Imra nodded to him, Rokk used his hands and, without touching the particles, shaped them into a ball about the size of a baseball.

"It worked. We've removed Brainiac," Imra told them with a relieved sigh. Taking the metal from Rokk, she placed it in a clear plastic container. "Now we need to wait."

"Why?" Clark croaked impatiently from the sidelines. He'd been waiting for a week for Lois to wake up. He was tired of waiting.

Four sets of eyes looked over as if they'd forgotten he was there. It was Rokk who answered. "We've come a long way in the fields of science and medicine but we still don't know everything about the human brain, Kal-El," he said calmly. "This procedure removed Brainiac but we don't know what damage could have been done …"

While Clark processed what that might mean, he turned wide eyes to Kara, who seemed to recognize his fears. "She will wake up, Kal-El."

Garth looked at Clark and then back at both Lois' with a grin on his face. "They both will."

Legion, same day

Clark sat in the sterile white room, so similar to the one in 2008, and waited for his Lois to regain consciousness.

Despite what Kara said, Clark was worried. Sure, the Legion seemed certain but what if she didn't wake up? What if something else happened? She was having episodes before Brainiac infected her.

Clark rested his arms on his knees and felt his legs bounce uncontrollably. Kara had finally left him to wait, promising to return later. She was working on something with the League but she couldn't – or wouldn't – say what. He had overheard the words "night" and "alive" but that was all.

His mind wandered from Kara back to Lois. When she did wake up, what would she say? Would she still be angry?

What should he say?

Abruptly he stood and saw her eyes start to flutter. In an instant he was by her side, taking her hand in his, so relieved to see her moving that he didn't care who said what.

Unexpected tears filled his eyes when he saw her open hers.

"Lois?" His voice sounded scratchy and so he cleared it, blinking away the moisture from his eyes. "Lois, can you hear me?"

Her voice was weak. "Smallville?"

"I'm here," he told her, watching as her eyes tried to focus. It took a couple of seconds before they rested on his face.

"Where am I?"

"Hospital," Clark told her, not wanting to go into great detail at the moment. There would be time to talk about time travel and other oddities later. He was really looking forward to a full explanation …

She breathed out with a little chuckle. "Of course."

At the sound of her laugh, Clark thought his heart would burst. Randomly, his mind wondered if one of her smiles would kill him. He grinned at the thought and noticed how strange the expression felt. It had been over a week since he'd grinned like that.

Before he could say anything else, she looked around and tried to sit up. "What are you doing here?" Lois asked him and he could see her getting worked up. "And where have you been for the last month. I was worried-"

Breaking off abruptly, her gaze landed on her hand in his own. Very slowly she tried to pull her hand away, gasping under her breath when he refused to release it. Her eyes slammed into his and he could see the confusion.

"Clark, what … where have you been?"

"I've been right here, the whole time … with you," Clark told her, growing confused when she continued to subtly pull at her hand.

"No, I mean …" She shook her head lightly. "You've been gone for over a month now." Her other hand rose to her mouth and Clark found his eyes focused there. He watched as her eyes grew wide and another gasp escaped her lips. "God, I've got to get out of here," she told him suddenly, trying to move her legs from the bed.

"Lois, no … what are you doing?" Gently Clark pushed her legs back on the bed. "You just regained consciousness. You can't leave," he told her firmly, feeling his brows gather with his confusion.

"Clark, I have to find Chloe," she told him. "She's been missing – longer than you have, actually." For a minute he could see the hurt in her eyes but then it was replaced with anger. "Just like that damn Lex to have her arrested and then disappear …"

Her brows gathered over her nose in concentration. "I'm close to finding her. I know it," she continued. "She's at some facility-"

Clark felt his stomach drop to his feet as he processed her words.

"Lois," he interrupted, waiting until her eyes met his. "What month is it?"

"What?" she sputtered. "Clark, now is not the time for twenty questions," she told him exasperatedly. When he didn't respond, just continued to watch her, she huffed. "Fine, it's June 2008, okay? Now, did I pass the test?"

Clark could only stare at her, his stomach at his feet and his heart in his throat.

Legion, one hour later

Clark was still waiting for Lois to wake up but, this time it was a different Lois in a very different room, more of an apartment really, decorated in yellows, blues and reds.

Normally, he'd appreciate the color choices but right now he was too worked up to enjoy them. He paced around the room wanting answers, needing answers …

He'd left his Lois after Imra administered a sedative. They did not want Lois wandering the halls. Right now the Legion was working to return her to a time immediately following their departure from the hospital. Everyone agreed that things should be kept normal for Lois … no mention of anything she didn't remember, at least not right now.

Clark clenched his fists in frustration. When the woman stirred, he stopped, focusing his eyes on her face.

Her hazel eyes found Clark's and he saw the recognition in them along with a hint of fear. As she studied him, the fear was replaced by warmth, turning her eyes more brown than green. Clark looked away. He didn't deserve the welcome in her gaze.

You need me, Smallville.

Had those words come from this Lois or the other one?

His hands ran through his hair at the thought. The concept was too confusing for him right now. What mattered was that this Lois was the one who sent her thoughts, or memories, back in time. Now he needed to know why.

From his peripheral vision he could see Lois push herself up on the bed and looked around. Her voice, when she spoke, sounded like it hadn't been used in while. "Well, at least they had enough sense to put me in a decent room this time."

Clark's smile was forced but she returned it.

Memories flooded him and, for a minute, he was speechless. This wasn't his Lois and yet it was. His mind was overwhelmed with memories of the past six months and he almost reached out to her. At the last minute he stopped, pushing aside everything but his questions. He needed to focus.

His hands found their way to his pockets and he felt himself rock on his heels.

This older Lois' sharp gaze took it all in. "All right, Smallville, spill-" she said her smile turning insightful. "What has your boxers in a bunch?"

Clark shook his head and looked away from her penetrating gaze.

She gasped and he turned to see her panicked face. "Did something happen … to her? God, we didn't lose my younger self, did we?" When Clark shook his head in the negative, Lois leaned back against the headboard in relief. Then she rolled her eyes at him and muttered, "Great, I'm talking about myself in the third person. This time travel stuff is really messed up …"

Clark couldn't stop the smile that played around his lips at her words. Lois was the same in any time, it seemed. He watched as she tried to get comfortable and knew instinctively that she was waiting for him to make the next move.

Her expression didn't change and so Clark let his eyes wander. "Nice room," he remarked.

Lois shrugged, her expression noncommittal, and waited. Evidently Lois from the future was more patient than the one from the past.

Clark sighed. She really knew him too well. "It's just that she doesn't remember …" Clark said, his eyes making their way back to her face. "Why did you send your memories back?"

To his surprise she smiled. "You know I can't answer that."

Reflexively, he rocked back on his heels. "I don't need to know what the memories were," he told her earnestly. "I just need to know your reason for sending them back." He tried to match her calm tone but he could hear the urgency in his own voice.

"Why?" she asked.

Clark looked at this older version of Lois and repeated himself. "She doesn't remember the past six months."

Clark could almost see the wheels turning as Lois considered his words. Finally when he was ready to expound on the problem, she spoke. "Well, that's not really life-threatening, is it?"

Another move back onto his heels and he responded, "Well, no but she doesn't remember what happened-"

"But you do," Lois interrupted. "Right?"

"Sure, but how does that help?"

Lois blew her bangs out her eyes in frustration. "Clark, I can't tell you about the future, but I can tell you I sent my memories back for a really good reason." Lois paused and her look told Clark she was trying to choose her words carefully. "Obviously, things have changed; otherwise you wouldn't be here and I wouldn't be here," she waved her hand in the air between them. "Your Lois' actions will continue to have repercussions whether she remembers them or not …as long as others do."

When her eyes locked onto his, Clark could swear that she was looking directly into his heart. "Make sure you remember and everything will be all right."

Clark nodded reflexively but inside he was an emotional wreck. Nothing was going to be all right; Lois didn't remember, and if Lois didn't remember what had happened in the past six months, then she didn't remember them.

If she didn't remember them …

Oh, God; he was going to be sick.

Back on the heels he went, feeling his jaw clench in response.

"Clark!" Lois said sharply, and he found himself focusing on hazel eyes snapping with irritation.

"Make sure you remember and that'll be enough," she said firmly as she searched his eyes. Again, it was as if she'd looked right into his heart. Her features softened, "Besides, I can tell you that even now, without the memories, she cares for you."

At Clark's surprised look, she smiled softly. "She needs you, too, Smallville."

An hour later, those words were still ringing in Clark's ears. While the Legion worked with his Lois, he'd stayed with the one from the future, making sure she could get around by herself, eating a light meal with her while she complained about the food, and staying in contact with the Legion kids by way of the intercom. Finally, Lois from the future had accused him of hovering and thrown him out.

Now, he wasn't sure what he was waiting for. He was sure he'd gotten all the information from her that he was going to.

Still, there was something nagging at him … a feeling that he wasn't finished here. There was more to see and more to learn from this future Lois.

Movement down the hall caught his attention and Clark ducked into one of the nearby alcoves to watch. The figure of a man, walking very slowly and dressed all in black, came into view. When he was halfway down the hall, Clark felt the earlier pain, dizziness and nausea return. He realized why the figure looked so familiar …

It was another version of himself.

As this one walked closer Clark could see that he was completely different from the Clark he'd seen at the hospital earlier. This Clark was thin, almost gaunt, and his skin had a sallow tint to it. His movements were slow and halting and, when he hesitated at Lois' door, Clark could see his features clearly for the first time. What he saw in them almost dropped him to his knees.

Emotions blazed from the blue depths of his eyes - pain, fear, guilt, rage and sorrow - powerful emotions radiating off of him, almost too much for one man to handle. Clark could barely stand to see it all and he wondered how this version of himself managed not to erupt.

His future self knocked on the door.

By the time it flew open, Lois was mid-sentence, "… nothing more I can tell you-"

Her words ended abruptly when she saw who was standing on the other side.

From his vantage point Clark could see that Lois was as close to breaking down as he'd ever seen. Just as when he was in the hospital in 2010, he wanted to go to her. He moved forward until her words stopped him.

"No; it's not possible!" When Lois took a step back, Clark took another step forward. His future self didn't move. Clark was shocked, and took a step back, when Lois launched herself at future Clark, raging against him, beating against his chest and arms.

"Damn you … how did you get here … what … I thought you were dead … God, I was the one … I killed you … you bastard … how could you …"

On and on it went until she was spent, holding onto the front of the black shirt with tears streaming down her face.

Through it all future Clark remained unmoving, his face revealing a myriad of emotions in rapid succession … guilt, sorrow, hurt, and fear.

When he spoke, his voice was rusty and filled with pain. "You … you didn't kill me, Lois," he said, searching for eyes that had darted up in surprise with his first word. "You. Saved. Me."

Future Lois was able to release a gasp before Clark's future self crushed her against his chest and almost devoured her lips with his. In seconds she was kissing him back just as desperately. Clark continued to watch through his embarrassment. As they pulled apart he knew that this was what he needed to see … future Lois in the arms of his future self, the wonder and joy on her face taking his breath, while the expression of peace on the face of his counterpart was one that he hadn't seen since he first spotted the man walking down the hall.

As Lois started to pull this more peaceful version of himself into the apartment her gaze traveled to Clark, her eyes widening when she spotted him standing in the alcove.

Just like in the hospital, his mind searched the past few days and he was filled with an understanding of what had happened. He glanced at the Clark in her arms and knew that in her future - the one she had saved them from - he'd let his feelings take over and, somehow, his emotional decisions had lead him away from her to something dark and dangerous.

You need me, Smallville.

Again, he didn't need to hear the words. They were in the hazel depths of her eyes. They were written in the expression of the man she was holding. This time, however, he could see something else, something more, just as clearly.

She needs you, too.

Daily Planet, December 29, 2008

Forget the roller coaster … Clark was going round and round on his own emotional carousel from hell.

Lois Lane, the object of his affections - the object of his desires - was sitting across from him completely oblivious to his feelings.

His eyes drank her in, from the dark brown of her hair to the teeth chewing on the end of her pencil, to the green blouse that brought out the green in her eyes, and below the desk to her long legs, currently encased in black pants, down further to the high-heeled boots on her feet. Everything about her was beautiful to him and he wanted her.

More than that, he needed her …

If he was going to have a future, any kind of future, he had to tell her how he felt. He was desperate to tell her everything. And so he was circling around the idea of doing just that.

What you told me – that was a gift, Clark, your gift.

The problem was that it was too soon.

And he cared too much to dump everything on her all at once.

Slowly … he needed to work slowly … and so the carousel went round again.

She was still adjusting to losing her memories from the past six months, and there had been a lot to take in. First, there was Chloe's wedding. Lois had been shocked, to say the least, by the fact that her cousin was engaged, and to Jimmy Olsen of all people. At least she didn't have to scramble to plan the ceremony. By mutual agreement, Chloe and Jimmy had decided to postpone their nuptials until the spring.

Then, there was school. Although Lois had been surprised to find herself back in school, she'd taken to her online class with great enthusiasm … more enthusiasm that she'd shown for living at the farm. Even with Kara there, Lois kept dropping hints about getting her own place. It was making Clark crazy.

Work was another issue. Lois had been surprised to find herself working across from Clark and she'd made her thoughts known about it in pretty short order.

"Good grief, Smallville, we're practically on top of each other … when do we each get some personal space?"

With his gut clenching, Clark forced out a chuckle and leaned back in his chair. "We're friends, Lois. We like spending time together."

"Right," she drawled out, giving him one of her insightful looks as she suddenly leaned forward on her desk. "Clark, is there something I should know? Maybe something from the past six months …?"

"Uhm … nothing important, Lois," Clark told her calmly.

Her eyes stayed locked on his and, for a minute, he was sure she wasn't going to let it go, but then Jimmy interrupted.

"Lois … hey!" The photographer was out of breath. "Here are those photos of the Blur you asked me for …"

Lois snatched them from Jimmy's hands and Clark knew he'd lost her. He sighed, confused and frustrated by the fact that their relationship wasn't the only thing Lois had forgotten. Now he needed to make the decision all over again – how to handle the Blur?

The entire thing was complicated by the fact that, while Lois seemed to want to keep her distance from Clark, she wanted to get closer to Metropolis' new hero.

Clark took his eyes off Lois and shook his head, trying to focus on his own work. He had a meeting … soon. Grabbing his jacket from the back of the chair, Clark shot up and caught Lois staring contemplatively in his direction. He paused for a minute and watched as her face flushed.

"Is there a fire?" Lois asked sarcastically, making Clark question whether he'd really seen the contemplative warmth in her gaze.

"No, I have a meeting with J'onn," he told her as he walked by. "I'm late."

Lois stopped him with a hand on his arm. The heat from her hand moved down his arm to the rest of his body, rooting him to place. For a second, they both seemed fixated on the sight of her hand on his arm. "Uhm … tell your favorite source I said 'hi.'"

Clark grinned, relishing the feel of her hand. "You're not going to steal him away from me with your charm, Lane."

Lois raised her brow in challenge, "You sure about that? I hear I'm pretty charming." To Clark's surprise she moved her hand slowly up and down his arm.

He sighed and stepped away with a tight smile. "Uhm, I'll be sure to let him know," Clark said, turning away when he saw the confusion in her eyes. He knew she didn't understand how much she affected him, how much he wanted to pull her out the chair and take her somewhere private so he could tell her ...

Slowly.

An hour later, Clark could swear he was still feeling Lois' hand on his arm. He strolled into the Bullpen and looked around while straightening his tie. She wasn't at her desk and his super hearing didn't pick up the sound of her voice.

Taking off his jacket, he placed it on the back of his chair and thought about the end of his conversation with his "source."

"I'll be careful," he said, considering J'onn's warning about this new group of vigilante cops. "Oh, by the way, Lois says 'hi,'" Clark told him, handing back the papers.

"How is she?" J'onn asked, a somewhat wistful look on his face.

"She's healthy," Clark told him, hesitating at the end. "She's doing well."

"So, she still doesn't remember …?"

"No; nothing from the past six months," Clark looked closely at his friend. "Or from the future."

J'onn's sharp gaze said it all. Then he smiled ruefully at his own reaction.

"You know, don't you?" Clark asked. "You've seen the future?"

"I don't know anything more than you know, Kal-El," J'onn said carefully.

Frustrated, Clark ran a hand through his hair. "Why does everyone keep telling me that? I don't know anything."

"So, you don't know how much you need her?" J'onn's look was disbelieving.

The surprise was clear on Clark's face.

"That's what the future tells us, Kal-E," he said with a small smile. "Remember that and everything will be okay."

The words triggered something in Clark's memory of the future.

Make sure you remember and that'll be enough.

Lois' voice echoed in his head as he sat down and looked at his notes.

It was a few minutes later when Clark heard his Lois talking from across the Bullpen. She was walking briskly back to her desk with her phone to her ear. Clark didn't need to use super hearing to hear her side of the conversation. His head shot up and, when he heard who was on the other end, he felt his teeth grind together.

It was Lois' new "friend"- one that had visited her constantly in the hospital and wasn't afraid to make his interest known.

"Davis … wait," Lois chuckled. "I didn't say I could go …"

She paused to listen.

"I don't know," Lois said, biting her bottom lip. "I really have a lot of school work to catch up on …" Clark could see her considering the offer.

"What time on New Year's Eve?" There was another pause.

"Hmm, I would like to …" Her voice was warm and considerate.

Lois' words rang in his ears and Clark remembered that cold night after Thanksgiving. He'd rescued a young woman from a particularly brutal attack and taken her to the hospital. As he was leaving by the way of the alley, he'd heard Lois' voice.

"Don't worry," she said, her voice sounding unusually husky and warm. "I think you have the magic touch."

Clark stopped and looked to see her sitting at the back of the ambulance with Davis standing across from her and a little to close for Clark's comfort. At her words, Davis' hand squeezed her shoulder and Clark watched as he leaned forward and said softly, "What is it about the Lane/Sullivan women?"

Frozen in place by the scene playing out in front of him, Clark could only watch while with his mind screamed at Lois to pull away and his heart screamed, "No!" Still, he did nothing, and for his hesitancy he was punished by having to watch another man kiss the woman he loved …

At the memory - at the thought of history repeating itself - something in Clark snapped.

Pushing his chair back, moving at almost super speed, he stepped over to Lois and grabbed her phone. "She'll have to get back to you," he told Davis, eyes burning into hers.

"I need to talk to you," he told her quietly, watching her eyes widen at his intense expression. "Uhm, something's come up."

Her eyes narrowed before she snatched her phone from his hand. "I'm sorry, Davis, looks like this is important. I'll call you later …"

Before Lois could disconnect, Clark was leading her around their co-workers and into the copy room. When he allowed her to enter first, he heard her mutter, "Was that really necessary?" She snapped the phone closed and turned to face him.

Clark winced, his thoughts churning. What was he doing? What was he going to say?

Luckily, Lois didn't wait for him to say anything. "What was that all about?" She waved her arms toward the Bullpen. "This better be good, Clark, because I was ready to … I mean, that was personal and important … Davis asked me-"

The more she rambled, the more frightened Clark became.

He sighed. He was just so sick of being afraid. When he started this job, he was scared of failing; when he started helping people here in the city, he was scared of being caught; and when Lois started showing an interest in him, he was scared of losing her friendship. He'd persevered, though, and now he almost had the life he wanted … all that was missing was Lois.

He watched as she continued to rant, her eyes bright and her body energetic.

…you need her.

Last time he'd waited too long before telling her …

"I mean, couldn't you pick another – umph."

Without a word, Clark reached out, grabbed her shoulders and put his lips to hers, ending her tirade and finally, finally calming his own fears.

At just the touch of her lips on his Clark felt achingly alive and confident in a way he hadn't in weeks. Desperate to taste her, he touched his tongue to hers and felt the fire. It was always this way.

Make sure you remember and that'll be enough.

He was flooded with memories … the surprise kiss in the Bullpen that absolutely set him on fire, capturing her lips with his at the engagement party, her passionate response when he kissed her in the kitchen, and the complete love and acceptance he felt from her kiss in the Fortress.

He ached for that love and acceptance now.

As his mind reveled in the past, his kiss changed from slow and soft to desperate. He deepened it, needing to feel her response, her acceptance.

When she stiffened instead, his fear returned. What if she didn't feel the same way anymore?

Even if she didn't remember, Clark knew that this - the passion they shared - was always there. Not ready to accept defeat, he eased the pressure of his mouth on hers. Slowly, sensually, he slid his lips against hers, eventually taking her luscious lower lip into his mouth and moving his tongue against it. Searching his memory, he sucked on her bottom lip just a little and heard her whimper.

That was all it took. She pulled herself against him and started to kiss him back. At the feel of her enthusiastic response, his heart hammered in his chest. Her passion was everything he remembered … and more. Again and again, her mouth slanted over his and his over hers. He couldn't get enough. His body started humming.

Just when he was thinking they would need air, Jerry barged in, complaining about having to make not only everyone else's coffee but everyone else's copies as well, and stopped dead in his tracks.

"Oops," he commented as they jumped away from one another.

Clark couldn't react; he could only stare at Lois' shocked expression. He watched as she raised her fingers to her lips and touched them tentatively. For a second he thought he saw a spark of awareness in her wide eyes before she ran out of the room, shoving Jerry out of her way.

"Gonna have your hands full with that one, Kent," Jerry commented.

Pushing past his co-worker, Clark stopped at the door, eyes following Lois as she sped to her desk, took her purse out of the drawer, and grabbed her coat. She was running to the elevator before he knew it.

She was leaving in a panic.

Clark stood tall, her reaction having erased some of his fears. At least she'd responded to him … and it had been better than he expected.

Kent Farm, next night

The Christmas lights were still twinkling inside when Clark blurred up to the farmhouse and stopped outside the kitchen door. The lights looked warm and welcoming but he wasn't sure about the woman inside.

Only one thing was certain … she'd been avoiding him at work today. Every time Clark tried to talk to her, she'd run away, muttering about meeting with some sources.

Now, it was Clark who was on edge. He'd been so sure that their kiss would have opened some doors, at least started a conversation. How could he have forgotten how good Lois was at avoiding anything resembling intimacy?

Because she wanted you before.

Clark stood at the door with his hand on the knob as the brutal truth hit him. The shoe was on the other foot now. He'd missed his chance before. Now he was going to have to step up to the plate and be honest with her … about everything.

Before he could wrap his head around what that might mean, before he could really think it through, his feet were carrying him away from the house and into to the barn.

Pacing along the dirt floor, he thought about all of the mistakes he'd made in the past six months. He took a deep breath, "I'm the Blur," he mouthed into the cold night air. Shaking his head, he turned to the tractor and stopped, hit by the memory of an earlier reveal.

"Well, yeah … okay, but the point is I know you-" Lois was pacing back and forth in agitation.

"Do you?" Clark asked, suddenly focusing on the towel in his hands, terrified about what she'd seen, frustrated with keeping his secrets, with lying to the people he … loved?

"Of course I do …" Lois told him, her voice so decisive that he almost smiled. "Smallville, what is this about?"

"Me, Lois," Clark responded, unable to look at her. "You saw what I am … what I can do ... what I've hidden from you …"

I love you.

"I love you," he whispered, the memory of another missed opportunity almost bringing him to his knees. Automatically, he picked up his work gloves and wrench, his body needing an outlet for his frustration. He raised the hood of the tractor and bent down, looking for the ever-present problem.

"Hey, Smallville," Lois greeted from the barn door. "Little late for chores, isn't it?"

Clark felt his body stiffen at the sound of her voice. It was too soon. He wasn't ready, memories of their earlier encounter too close to the surface. He cleared his throat and studied the engine. "Just working on the tractor."

"Okay … well, it's pretty cold out here," she paused and he could hear the hesitancy in her voice. "I thought you might want some hot chocolate."

She passed behind him with a whisper of noise and he was hit with the smell of her leather jacket and shampoo as she placed the hot drink on the work table. His eyes closed at her familiar scent.

"Thanks, Lois," he told her, plastering a smile to his face as he turned to look at her. He knew what it meant - her way of opening the lines of communication - and he opened his mouth, prepared to talk.

What he wasn't prepared for was the effect of the cold night air on her face, giving her cheeks a glow and her eyes a brightness that took his breath and forced his mouth closed. The effect of her beauty was like a punch in the gut and Clark swallowed, hard. Before he could say anything he was flooded with memories … Lois with her face flushed from the cold of the freezer as she pulled out her ice cream, her eyes cursing him because she couldn't speak. He saw her face flushed with excitement as she raved about the Blur in that same kitchen and the brightness of her eyes when she was revealing her destiny in the Fortress …

His expression must have looked dazed because Lois was snapping her fingers at him when his mind cleared. "Earth to Clark," she repeated, tilting her head to the side when she caught his eyes. "You zoned out there for a minute … you okay?"

Feeling flushed himself, Clark took a deep breath. "Lois, remember when you asked me if there was anything you should know about the past six months … anything I should tell you?"

"Yeah," she said hesitantly, searching his face.

Clark paused, the panic closing off his throat … what if she rejected him this time? What if she couldn't handle his alter ego? What if …

"Lana just called," Lois blurted out, looking almost as surprised by her comment as Clark felt. "I, uhm, told her I'd give you the message."

His eyes widened. "Lana?"

"Yes, she wanted to talk to you," Lois told him, her hazel eyes turning speculative.

"Really?" he responded, fighting to keep his voice casual. He was as confused by Lana's call as Lois was, but he could see that Lois was looking for a reaction, and he didn't need to blow it when he was so close-

"She said she wanted to say goodbye," Lois told him and the skepticism in her words interrupted his thoughts. "You didn't tell me she was leaving town …"

Clark shrugged and nodded. "She's moving to Paris, I believe."

"You believe?" Lois asked, her eyes flashing.

"Where she goes is not really my concern," he responded, sighing to himself at the doubt he heard in her voice, not that he could blame her. He'd waited too long to make his choice last time.

He straightened as he remembered the one thing he'd done right since Lois regained consciousness. Only a few days later, Clark had taken the time to meet with his former girlfriend. He was pretty sure she'd seen it coming, but then he'd never been able to read her very well. By the time they were done, she'd made it sound like she was leaving him. He didn't care, just as long as she understood it was over.

He had his closure.

Lois' low gasp drew him out of his thoughts.

"So, she really is leaving?" She asked, her eyes studying his confident posture and his expression as if she could read the answers in them. "And the two of you …?"

"We're not together, Lois," Clark told her earnestly. "And haven't been since she came back …"

Lois nodded, her eyes darting away. "That's what everyone said-"

"But you didn't believe them," Clark interrupted, looking at her with a small smile.

She shook her head in the negative, shrugging her shoulders. "You've got to admit, Smallville, based on your past actions …" Her voice trailed away meaningfully.

"I know … I know," Clark said, holding up his hands. When she grew silent, he shoved them into his jeans, frustrated with the entire conversation. He didn't want to think about Lana, what he really wanted was to grab the woman in front of him and-

Lois shivered. "It's getting cold out here. I'm … I'm going to head back in," she told Clark, her hand pointing back to the warmly-lit farm house. "A slice of Mrs. K's apple pie is calling my name," she added with a smile before starting out of the barn.

When she walked by, Clark held out a hand to stop her. "Lois-"

"Seriously, Smallville," she interrupted, wrapping her arms around herself as she shuddered. "It's freezing out here. Can't we talk in the nice, warm kitchen?" She smiled to soften the sting of her words, and Clark nodded.

Putting away his gloves and picking up his hot chocolate, he followed her into the house, setting his drink on the counter before pulling off his boots and hanging up his jacket just inside the door.

"Lois," he said, closing his eyes before turning around to look for her. "There's something I need to tell you …"

She was already at the counter, reaching for the apple pie, a lustful look in her eyes.

"Lois!"

"What!" She shouted back, jumping guiltily. "No need to shout, Smallville. I told you I wanted some pie."

Clark ran his hand through his hair in frustration. This just wasn't starting out well. Before he knew it, he was pacing.

"Look, Lois, about the past six months …"

"Uh, huh …" she commented, putting a slice on her plate before taking a big bite.

Clark sighed, "Well, you and I … we were getting, uhm, pretty close … spending a lot of time together …"

Lois swallowed her bite of pie when his voice trailed off. "Go on, Smallville."

"Well, I really didn't know what it all meant," he told her, shoving his hands into his pockets. He walked around the counter and waited for her to finish her second bite. His tone deepened with emotion. "I really missed you when you were in the hospital."

Lois dropped her fork, her eyes still focused on her plate. Placing his hands on her shoulders, wondering if she could feel them shaking, he slowly turned her around to face him.

"I realized something else, Lois," he said softly, using a hand to lift her chin when she didn't look up. "I realized I lov-"

"Don't say it, Clark," Lois interrupted, abruptly pulling away from him, her eyes darting around the room and away from him.

"What?" Clark asked, his arms automatically reaching for her and dropping when she continued moving away. "Why not?"

"Because Lana just called … because so much has happened … because everything has changed," she told him, and Clark could see the concern in her eyes when she finally looked at him.

"I don't care," he told her, grabbing her arms while fighting the urge to shake some sense into her. She looked up in surprise at the force of his tone. "It doesn't change how I feel. All that's happened has convinced me of it even more. We can't change the past, Lois …" Clark searched for the words, the ones that would make her understand. "I just know that, whatever else happens, I want you in my future."

Her eyes were wide. "Clark, I …" she started but her voice trailed off, her eyes moving away from his uncertainly.

"Look, I don't expect anything from you right now," he told her. "You've been through a lot and I understand that. Just … just think about what I've said … we can take things slow, if you want," his voice shook a little. "I don't want to make this painful …"

Her eyes returned to his and she studied his expression. After a minute, she nodded. "Love shouldn't be painful," she whispered.

Clark was so happy to get an acknowledgement from her that he smiled as she walked away. After a second, he blinked in surprise and turned to see her at the base of the stairs.

"What did you say?" He was just realizing he'd heard those words before.

She stopped in her tracks but didn't turn around and didn't look at him. In a flash he was standing next to her, facing her, not caring if he used super speed. She gasped in surprise before his gaze slammed into hers. Her eyes went wide.

Quickly, a little too quickly, she lowered her gaze, and tried to push past him, clearing her throat a little. "Nothing; that's just what I've heard-"

Before she could take a step, Clark had his arm around her waist and was pulling her close.

"I've heard that, too," he told her huskily, his voice deepening in response to what he saw in her eyes.

"Really?" Her voice was breathless but her wide eyes were daring him. She reached up and placed her hand on his chest - starting to push him away - but then her fingers curled into his shirt.

"Someone told me that in this very kitchen," he said softly, keeping his eyes on hers as he dipped his head … and stopped. He could hear her shallow breathing and the rapid beating of her heart as his mouth remained just inches away. "Do you know what I said?"

"Wh … what?"

"I agreed," Clark told her, bringing his mouth even closer to hers while he watched her eyes darken. His desire to touch her and keep touching her was so strong that he almost forgot the next words, needing to punctuate them with kisses. "Love is just … like … this."

It took a second or two but he knew the minute his words registered with Lois. She uncurled her fingers and tried to push him away, pulling her lips from his. "You did not! You didn't say anything …"

Her words trailed off when she saw his slow smile.

Make sure you remember and that'll be enough.

Fascinated, he watched the expressions that crossed her face, disbelief that he'd caught her, guilt that she hadn't told him, and concern about his reaction. Before he could ask her, before he could react, her eyes turned fiery. With a small cry, she jumped on him and pressed her lips to his.

She remembers … she remembers …

The words were playing over and over in his head, and Clark thought his heart would burst. He crushed her in his arms, and felt her fingers in his hair. His body seemed to come to life. Just like in the Fortress, he could feel her acceptance and gloried in it.

Reluctantly, he pulled away and rested his forehead against hers, trying to catch his breath, while his eyes searched each one of hers in turn. "When?"

She pulled back to study his face, her own breathing unsteady. "Yesterday," she told him, leaning forward to nibble on his jaw line.

"How?" Clark choked out, her kisses almost keeping him from his questions.

She paused for a minute, waiting until he opened his eyes. "I remembered when you kissed me."

"What, exactly, do you remember?"

Lois told him in a breathless voice, "I remember you, loving you."

"Why didn't you-"

When she placed her fingers on his lips, her smile was both teasing and sad. "I wanted to hear you say it … I just wanted, this once, to be …" her voice trailed away, followed by her eyes.

"My choice … my first choice?" Clark asked softly, understanding dawning.

She nodded uncertainly and Clark drew in a deep breath.

"You may not be my first love, Lois, but something tells me that you will be my last."

The surprise was clear in her eyes when they returned to his. With a smile, she reached up with trembling hands to touch each side of Clark's face. More green than brown, the hazel color sparkled. "Well, my destiny is to love you, and you know … and you can't fight destiny."

Nodding in agreement, Clark raised his own hand, placing it softly along her jaw, using his thumb to stroke her cheek. With the same hand he pulled her closer. He was never going to let her go.

"And I'll tell you what I should have told you at the Fortress," he responded huskily. "If this is part of my destiny, it's a part I don't want to fight."

As he pulled her in for another searing kiss, Clark accepted the truth of his own words. It may have taken six months and two glimpses of the future, but he knew what he wanted. There was only one woman for him … no matter what the future may hold.