EPILOGUE ... the beginning of the end.
Star City, 2011
Lois Lane stood on the roof of the Star City Chronicle and looked out over the city that had been her home in another life. It was good to see the city at peace, to watch people going about their lives, blissfully ignorant of any other timeline.
If only she could be so lucky. She'd sent her memories back to another version of herself in the past, had her thoughts returned to her later and then settled in the future where everything was different. She was standing here now - on this night of all nights - to see if she could get some perspective.
Had it all been worth it?
She knew that at least as to the primary goal, her mission for the Legion had been successful. The Darkness had been delayed, maybe even forestalled, because of her decision to send her memories back. In many ways the world had become a better place. She needed that reminder. It would aid her resolve to fix what had been messed up in the process.
Sighing into the gentle ocean breeze, she checked her messenger. In the dim of the night, the tiny light that powered the device stood out like a beacon.
The message sent a chill up her spine.
Looking to the sky, she gripped the device a little tighter, and waited for the same man.
No, not the same man.
Her mind violently rejected the idea. Clark wasn't Night any longer. The Legion had rescued him from this very rooftop and freed him from the Darkness. Not that he was the same naïve farm boy she'd known. The pain and shame of having succumbed to the Darkness was always with him and it stripped him raw, made him almost elemental at times.
Not that she minded. She wasn't the same woman either. Her relief at being free from battle filled her with an emotional edge and a weakness - at least when it came to him - that wasn't there before. Still, she and Clark complimented each other. Dealing with the Darkness had drawn them together in a way no one else could understand.
That's why he hadn't questioned her when she told him they had to go back.
It was the risky choice, unsanctioned and unsupported by most of the three Legion members who were their friends. Rokk thought it was too late to make a difference. Imra was afraid that they would just die trying. Garth was the only one who reluctantly supported their decision. Lois couldn't fault them; even she wasn't sure. All she knew was that she had to try. They'd all made mistakes the first time around. Lois couldn't sit around if there was a chance she could fix them.
The fate of Superman - the fate of the world - depended on it.
Lois checked her messenger. Time was running out.
Her eyes looked to the sky again. The sun had already set and the clear night sky was filled with stars.
Where was Clark?
She saw him then, as if her very thoughts had brought him to her, just a black streak against the stars.
The sight caused her breath to catch.
Without warning, she was assaulted by memories of the same night so long ago.
Her city was burning. Every building, street, alley and mailbox was on fire. Shouts, screams, and occasional gunshots rose through the darkness with the smell of smoke. Flames provided the only light in the dark of evening.
How had it come to this? She still questioned it but really didn't care any longer. It needed to end. One, way or another, it would end tonight.
A dark figure crossed the evening sky and she straightened, mentally preparing herself to meet him. Fire shot out of his eyes to the city below, marking his passing with maximum destruction. Watching him use his power that way made her angry.
How had he turned into this?
When he landed, her eyes reluctantly scanned him for threats. They didn't linger on his face. She hated seeing it, especially his eyes - gray and lifeless - showing nothing of the man inside.
The man she'd known was gone; she couldn't reach him. She'd tried so hard.
"Clark?" The name was soft, pleading, the memory so real and vivid here.
She had to reach him. He shouldn't be this way. They needed him …
"Clark?" Again she whispered his name.
She needed him.
"Lois."
Her head was spinning. He's talking.
"Lois!" His voice was more forceful now, his hands clutching her arms. She gazed at him in wonder as he gave her a little shake.
"Lois."
Reality was slow to return. When she finally realized that it was her Clark standing in front of her, tears were rolling down her cheeks. Gently, Clark reached up to wipe them away with his thumb. When he pulled her to his chest, she was surprised to feel him shaking.
"I knew … shouldn't have let you come here." The words were muffled against her hair.
Just being in his arms calmed her. When his words sunk in, her response was more of a croak. "Like you could have stopped me," she sniffled, forcing a smile as she pulled back to look at his face.
Frustrated blue eyes greeted her and the smile became more genuine.
Clark was here; he was with her.
She shook her head to clear the memories from her mind. They had seemed so real, been so vivid.
"Are you okay?" His voice was soft.
Lois nodded, keeping her eyes on his. "What about you? Being here can't be easy …" Her eyes moved guiltily away from his and her hand raised nervously to her throat. They both knew who decided to wait here.
His hand stopped hers before it could reach the scars and brought her eyes back to his. "All of my time … here … is a little hazy," he told her. "The only thing that I remember clearly is you." While the one hand continued to hold hers, the other moved to the scars on her neck. "I can't believe I hurt you …" His eyes darkened as he lightly caressed each one and repeated the apology he'd made a thousand times. "I'm sorry."
The tears that stopped threatened again. "Even then, you were trying to protect me-"
"Because I wanted you," he told her huskily, eyes dropping to her mouth. "Some things never change, I guess."
Lois tried to keep her pulse under control but it was no use. When he was like this she couldn't resist.
His lips met hers in a demanding kiss. She didn't hesitate, just softened her lips and opened her mouth for him. When his tongue swept inside, her knees grew weak. Everything faded away except for the feel of his mouth, the warmth of his touch and the heat from his body. This … this was where she belonged; forget the past; forget the future.
This connection - the one she only felt with him - was still just as strong.
When his hands touched bare skin, she realized that Clark meant for his kiss and his touch to banish her memories of this place.
"Clark," she moaned, but he ignored her, running his mouth over each of her scars, making her sigh. She knew he was completely focused on her and that, despite what he said, he needed to forget the past as much as she did.
By the time he had her dark-colored shirt unbuttoned, her body was in wholehearted agreement with Clark's plan and her brain was too foggy to care.
Beep … beep … beep.
It was her messenger.
"Ignore … it," Clark told her between kisses.
Beep … beep … beep.
"We can't," she muttered.
He didn't stop.
"Clark!" Her exclamation turned into a groan when Clark started sucking on the sensitive spot behind her ear.
She pushed at him as the messenger continued and, after a few minutes he reluctantly pulled away, eyes still filled with heat. Her breath caught at the look in them. Quickly, he placed one more firm kiss on her lips before turning the messenger so that he could read it while she buttoned her shirt.
It was Garth, keeping them in the loop. The message wasn't a good one; events were moving faster than they originally thought.
Clark's brow furrowed. "We should go."
"Wait," Lois stopped him with a hand to his chest. "What did you find out?" She was still a little breathless. "We got, uhm, sidetracked before you could tell me."
"The tremors are getting stronger," he replied, his still heated gaze making her breath hitch. He sobered, looking down at the messenger. "What I saw is in line with what Garth sent."
"Which means we have some time," she told him with a nod, just the thought bringing her back to reality. "I have to see her first."
"Lois-"
"Clark," Lois' returned with a grave look. "It all means nothing if we can't convince her to finish what I started-"
"That's the problem," Clark argued, his tone containing just a hint of jealousy. "You started it and left her to finish."
"She loves him … I know-"
Clark's voice was loud in the quiet of the night, his face a mixture of jealousy, disbelief, and frustration. "You don't know that … She's. Not. You."
Lois paused. They'd had this argument before and it got her nowhere. Stepping back, she lowered her voice and looked into his eyes, taking a different stance. "Does he love her?"
"Of course." Clark's answer was immediate.
"How do you know?"
His jaw clenched. "Because … I know," he answered stubbornly.
Her smile was faint. "You're not the same man …" she pointed out.
"Hell, no," he admitted, running his hand through his hair.
"Yet, you know-"
Clark grabbed her arms for emphasis, his frustration showing. "He's not an idiot."
Her eyes flashed in victory. "Neither is she."
God, you're stubborn," he said, his voice calmer as he pulled her against his chest. "She's not an idiot … but there are reasons for her decision. Some of them make sense."
She shook her head as best she could against solid muscle. "No they don't. She doesn't understand." Lois kissed softly along the side of his neck. "Not like I do."
She hid her smile of victory when he squeezed her tightly. His deep sigh rumbled through her chest. "All right; I'll drop you by the Planet first thing and I'll go to the Geothermal Plant-"
Her face looked up to his profile in a panic. "You're not going to-"
He shook his head. "I'm just going to look around."
Lois put her arms around Clark and held on even tighter. "I just want to spend as much time together as possible before …"
She felt his nod, "I don't have a problem with that," he replied softly.
His grip shifted. "Ready?"
"Let's go," she told him determinedly.
As they rose from the rooftop, Lois took one last look around. Maybe coming had served its purpose after all. She felt resolute. What they were doing wouldn't be easy but it was right. Lifting her face to the night, she kept her eyes on the stars as they headed toward Metropolis.
She didn't look back.
Metropolis, next morning
"Olsen, where are the photos that go with my story on the tremors!" Lois looked around but the curly-haired photographer was nowhere in sight.
Damn.
She needed those photos. For two days, the Metropolis area had been experiencing tremors similar to an earthquake. In a state with no fault lines, this was big news. Authorities had narrowed the center to the west side of town and Lois had taken Jimmy out there to investigate. Now, Jimmy and her photos were not to be found.
Without warning Lois felt the building begin to shake. The cries of her co-workers rose above the general noise as Lois reached for the desk to steady herself. Before she could get her balance, she felt her hip slam into her old desk hard enough to leave a bruise.
Just great.
Putting her hands on the desk, her eyes automatically travelled to the adjacent desk. The tears that she'd been holding back threatened to fall as Clark's nameplate glared at her. She rubbed her forehead and blinked, trying to clear her thoughts. The lack of sleep was starting to take effect.
The sudden, sharp pain in her head was unusual. She gasped, waiting for it to pass, and eyes caught the phone booths in the lobby. Her mind replayed a memory as clear as if she was there.
She was staring at Clark as he emerged from the phone booth at work. He looked so different …like a man instead of the boy she'd known. She needed to touch him and so she reached out to adjust his collar and smooth his shirt.
"You look good," Lois told him, resisting the urge to go further and simply burrow in the warmth that seemed to radiate off of him. The urge to kiss him was equally strong but, before she could act on it or push it away, an explosion rocked the building.
Her body was forced against his. His touch sent a jolt through her like an electrical current. She looked at his mouth and then into his eyes. He was puzzled, by her reaction or his, she couldn't tell. As close as their bodies were, she leaned in slightly. She wanted him …
As the memory faded, Lois bit her bottom lip, trying to hold in the moan that wanted to escape. She was still feeling the effects of the memory, the impression of his body against hers and the heat that he exuded. She shivered. The Bullpen suddenly seemed cold.
That was all she needed, to start experiencing flashbacks today.
Her memories of her lost months were still spotty after all this time. Not all of them had returned and what she did remember didn't return all at once. Although Dr. Hamilton said it was normal, Lois had been frustrated at first, especially when she would catch Clark looking at her like he was expecting her to act or respond a certain way. Although he never said anything, she sometimes felt like he was disappointed that she wasn't the same girl anymore.
Not that it mattered now.
Sighing as the pain passed, she reached for one of her packing boxes, her eyes carefully avoiding Clark's nameplate.
Today was the day she was moving into her new office. Originally, she was going to wait until after …
Oh, well, no time like the present.
Besides, the physical labor would be good for her. She might even be able to get some sleep tonight. That thought led her to pick up a second box and walk determinedly to the elevator.
Juggling the boxes, she pushed the up button and waited, thankful that she'd decided to wear pants with her light tweed jacket.
The voice from just behind her almost made her heart stop. For a second, the pain was so incredible that she couldn't breathe. His words penetrated slowly.
"Most people take the day off when it's their wedding day," Clark said calmly, his face turned toward the elevator.
Before Lois could respond, the elevator doors opened and Clark stepped forward. Turning he took the boxes from her and backed inside.
Without warning, she was hit with another memory.
"Handle with care, Smallville, I've had those albums since I was ten," Lois told Clark, shoving a couple of moving boxes into his hands. Stepping inside, she grabbed back the top box and brushed past Clark on the way to the kitchen counter.
"Great, your Def Leppard Anthology, can't wait to hear that," Clark responded sarcastically, looking inside the box as he sat it on the counter opposite Lois. "Why are you bringing this stuff here when you obviously haven't missed it?"
"Quit your whining," Lois told him. "I forgot a few things, okay? The love birds don't need my stuff cluttering their nest and we've got plenty of room …" At Clark's amused glance and raised eyebrows, Lois panicked and started babbling. "I mean you've got plenty of room … I mean there's plenty of room here … at the farm, it's big, with lots of space ..."
Where did that "we" come from?"
"It's all right Lois," Clark said, reaching across the counter to place his hand on her arm. "I want you to think of the farm as your home."
Before she could adjust to his heat, Clark removed his hand but his words brought an entirely different kind of warmth to her heart. She'd heard the sentiment often enough from Ms. Kent but to hear it from Clark …
Home-
Oh, God.
Her heart swelled from the memory - and all that had happened since - until she thought it would explode. She stood frozen, watching as Clark reached out to hold the door, his expression growing concerned. It took a minute, but the look on Clark's face brought her around. She didn't need his sympathy, damnit.
With a shaky sigh, angry at her emotional response, Lois stormed in and snatched back the boxes.
"I've got them," she muttered, turning to the front of the elevator, looking anywhere but at him. He wouldn't get to her today.
Clark didn't respond, just pushed the button for the seventh floor, where her new office was located. When the silence continued, Lois shifted the boxes in her arms. The quiet was getting to her and he knew it. After a few minutes, she glanced in his direction.
He looked pale and tired, his eyes faded behind the heavy frames of his glasses.
She'd never seen him look so tired. Was he sleeping? He hadn't been back to the apartment since that night two days ago when she'd told him she couldn't possibly marry him. She had no idea where he'd been or what he'd been doing. The thought bothered her.
Could she really do this?
Her weight shifted to the other foot as she adjusted the boxes again.
She was making the right decision. Walking - or blurring - in Clark's shoes had been an eye-opening experience. Every day, every hour, every minute, he made impossible choices. What he decided could mean the difference life and death and, every time he chose to be with her, the decision was between her and someone else's injury or death.
She had to take herself out of the equation and give him back to the world. Years with the General had taught her that sometimes sacrifices had to be made for the greater good. When Clark was so desperately needed by the world, calling him hers was selfish. Giving him back - letting him go - was the only way.
Bolstered by her thoughts, she walked briskly to her office after the elevator stopped. To her chagrin, Clark followed her inside, shutting the door behind him.
"I've been thinking about what you said," he told her. She turned to face him but her eyes darted around the office. How could she do this if she couldn't look him in the eyes? The problem was that if she saw too much pain in his expression she might cave completely. If she saw acceptance, her heart might shatter. She didn't want to see either.
This was a mess.
"You were the one who told me that I couldn't be the hero every day, all day long … do you remember?" He held his breath, praying that she did, but knowing that her memories from that time were often few and far between.
Her eyes slammed into his with surprise but she nodded slowly. He released the breath he was holding. "If that's the case, then you wouldn't be interfering with anything. You'd be helping me … you'd be part of my friends and family. You'd be my best friend … my wife."
Home … Clark
It hit her again like a punch to the gut. She turned her back, unable to look at his face, unable to breathe.
Clark looked at her back and sighed. She had to be the most stubborn woman on the face of the planet. Now she wouldn't even look at him.
Still, he couldn't let her go without a fight. Last night when he was sitting alone in the loft, wondering how she expected him to live without her, he was hit with the memory of her past advice. It was the only thing that got him out of bed this morning.
They were both in the barn on Thanksgiving and he was finding out that saving the world with Lana was not all that it was cracked up to be. He needed Lois' opinion.
"Do you think what I'm doing … Lois, is it enough?"
Her answer was slow and deliberate. "You've saved a lot of people, Clark, but is it enough? I don't' know," He watched as she leaned forward to make her point. "How much is? I don't think any one person, even an extraordinary one, can do it all."
With Lana's accusation ringing in his ears, he asked Lois. "Is it … am I … selfish for wanting to spend the holiday with my family?"
"No, you're not selfish," Lois told him softly, and he was surprised to hear a hint of anger in her response.
Before he could comment on it, she continued, gripping the rough edge of the window and rocking on her heels while she explained. "You can't be the hero every day, all day long. Even the most dedicated get burned out, trust me. Once that happens, you forget why you started in the first place. Everyone needs time to remember and regroup and, for you Smallville, that means spending time with friends and family …"
Those words gave him hope then … and today.
"Clark," she interrupted his thoughts and he winced at the use of his name. She hadn't called him Smallville since the night she told him she couldn't marry him.
"I told you those things before … before I got to listen to the cries for help that you hear every day. Those people - the ones who cry out - they need you, and I can't be the one to stand in their way," she told him. To his surprise he could see the unshed tears in her eyes.
"You're not in their way, Lois," he tried to convince her. "You're by my side."
By now Clark knew her every expression; he could see the conflict in her face. It was relief to know that this wasn't an easy decision for her. He felt like it was killing him …
"Lois," he said, unable to watch her struggle without saying anything. "I want you by my side."
"Maybe we just don't get what we want!" Her agonized response felt like a slap to him. His head jerked back slightly. She must have noticed it, because her voice softened. "I can't be the one in your way."
"That's what Lana told me all those years ago in her farewell DVD," he told her quietly, feeling his gut churning at her continued resistance.
When her head jerked back in response to his words, Clark decided that he wasn't making any progress. Instead they were both just inflicting physical pain with their verbal spars. Bringing up Lana was not going to win him any points with Lois. He could almost hear his mother telling him that his remark was uncalled for and the General telling him it was time for a tactical retreat.
Turning to the door while she was still reeling – and before she could get her back up - he calmly pulled it open and spun on his heel to face her. "By the way, I've called everyone to tell them that the wedding is still on. Chloe and Oliver are working at the chapel right now."
He paused, taking some satisfaction in the stunned look on her face. "If you want to go through with canceling the wedding, you'll have to leave me standing at the altar."
Daily Planet, one hour later
Disguised in a trench coat, striped scarf and heavy sunglasses, Lois made her way into the Bullpen and tried to fight back the nostalgia that threatened to overwhelm her. The noise, the activity, and the smells were like home to her and she missed it all, so much. Journalism in the future - when everything was streamed live in real time - just wasn't the same.
After releasing her breath, she looked around, reminding herself that she wasn't here to reminisce.
Her eyes took in the changes as they moved around the room. She sighed with relief when she spotted Clark's desk and nameplate. Strolling toward the empty desk across from his, she took a look at the nameplate and paused in surprise … Catherine Grant.
What the …?
Without thinking, she stormed over to Jeff's desk, the fury clear in her tone. "What is Cat doing sitting at my … I mean, at Lois Lane's desk." Catching herself mid-rant, she grimaced and tried not to squirm under Jeff's scrutiny.
"Uhm, Lois has moved to her new office on the seventh floor," he said, looking down with a roll of eyes. He wasn't buying the costume, but Lois didn't care at this point. She knew she'd probably pulled a similar stunt before. Turning on her heel, she stalked away, his quip following her, "Undercover or amnesia this time, Lane … or is it the hangover from the Bachelorette party?"
She didn't bother to respond, grateful that his laughter was drowned out by the general din. Storming to the elevator, she pushed the up button, adjusting the neck of her short-sleeved sweater to cover up the scars. When the elevator doors opened, she was glad she'd taken the time.
The only person on the elevator was Chloe, standing there with a determined look on her face. Lois felt her heart swell at seeing her cousin and had to stop herself from sweeping her off her feet. As it was, she couldn't resist giving Chloe a hug when the doors closed.
"Well, I didn't expect such an enthusiastic response," her cousin told, clearly trying to see behind the sunglasses to Lois' expression. "You must know why I'm here."
"I do," Lois told her, knowing that they were both there for the same reason. Leaning her shoulder against the back wall, Lois crossed her arms, hoping to get some ideas for her own lecture. "Lay it on me."
Chloe was clearly taken aback. "Well … uhm … first, I can't believe you actually called the guests to cancel the wedding at the last minute."
Before the words were out, Lois was shaking her head. "Is that all you've got? Guilt is not going to work on me. Try again."
The flabbergasted look on her cousin's face was priceless. Chloe actually reddened. "Are you making fun of this situation? Because, I can tell you that Clark does not find this remotely funny. I've never seen him more upset."
Lois felt her chest tighten. "I know," she said softly, wishing she could tell Chloe that they were on the same mission, but that would only jeopardize the future even more. Turning her thoughts to the issue at hand, she tried garnering some of the arguments that Lois would make, but there was nothing.
Chloe toned it down herself at Lois' quiet response. "Lois, he told me you think you're standing in his way."
Lois nodded, not sure how to respond. God, the other Lois sounded like Lana. How the hell had that happened?
"I can tell you that Clark does not see it that way. I don't know what you experienced when you were supped up on Clark's powers but you are not holding Clark back." At that, Lois' head jerked up. She had Clark's powers?
"He needs someone to keep him going and, if he decides one day to take to the skies, he's going to need someone to keep him grounded. You are that person," Chloe put her hand on Lois' arm and Lois couldn't keep from nodding.
Rokk's words came to her. You must support and challenge him.
Knowing that Chloe was expecting it, she countered.
"That's the problem, Chloe," she said. "What if I'm the one keeping him grounded? I couldn't live with that."
"Oh, Lois, he doesn't see you that way at all," her cousin said, reaching into her jacket pocket. Clenching her jaw, Chloe pulled out a folded piece of paper and handed it to Lois. "Here," she told her. "If you won't listen to me, read it in his own words."
When they reachd the seventh floor, Lois got off but Chloe stayed aboard. "If you can cancel the wedding after reading Clark's vows, then you're not the Lois Lane I know."
The elevator doors closed just as Chloe finished, the last thing Lois saw was her cousin's intent green gaze and raised eyebrows.
Smiling to herself, she adjusted the collar of her sweater and muttered to herself. "I'm not," almost laughing out loud at the irony. Her eyes rolled. "Chloe always did have a flare for the dramatic."
Lois' office was just two doors down from the elevator. Without knocking, Lois stepped inside and closed the door, coming face-to-face with herself.
"Who are you?" asked the tired-looking reporter, setting down the stapler she'd just removed from one of the packing boxes that surrounded her desk.
Adjusting the neck of her sweater, future Lois hesitated for a minute. When her head stayed clear and her breathing continued at a normal rate she sighed in relief. Garth was right. She didn't have any of the disorientation that others faced when coming face to face with themselves. According to her friend from the future, it had something to do with having shared brain waves with her counterpart.
Taking a deep breath, she pulled off her sunglasses and scarf. "I'm you," she said, almost smiling at the stunned expression on her doppelganger's face. Keeping her expression serious, she focused on the importance of this moment for Clark … for Superman … for the world.
She needed to bring her double back around but as they stood staring at each other, she wasn't sure how. Looking at the strained face of her double reminded her that they weren't they same woman.
She's. Not. You.
As Clark's words repeated in her thoughts, she felt her confidence falter slightly.
The tremor that shook the building seemed to mirror her own wavering resolve. Steadying herself with the back of one of the chairs, she tried to rally her thoughts and arguments.
Out of nowhere she was hit with the memory of her conversation with Clark at the hospital all those years ago.
"Why me?"
Lois looked at him in amazement. "Are you serious or are you just fishing for compliments?"
"Yes … no … I mean I'm trying to understand," Clark explained, stepping closer as his wide eyes conveyed his confusion.
All Lois could do in response was roll her eyes - would the man never understand his worth?
After giving her his most frustrated look, Clark changed tactics. "Okay …why you, then?"
Lois didn't hesitate, smiling when she looked directly into Clark's eyes, "Because you need me, Smallville."
When the memory faded, Lois felt her confidence return. She straightened her shoulders and looked into the eyes in the face across from hers. There was strength and determination behind the pain in her eyes. Lois may not be this woman but Lois still understood her. In any time, Lois Lane was, well, Lois Lane.
After a few moments of silence, her double sighed and flattened her hands on the desk. Looking skeptical, she leaned forward. "That's not possible. Who are you?"
"I'm from the future," Lois told her and watched the other woman's eyes widen in surprise. Part of her wondered if Clark had ever talked to her about their little trip to the future. Given the Legion rules, she doubted it.
"We need to talk," she told her double firmly, unconcerned with her response.
Her double raised one hand to rub against her forehead and Lois knew that she was ready to listen. "About what?"
Lois' response was straightforward. "Being needed."
Metropolis, same time
Clark studied the flimsy chain link fence that surround Geothermal Dynamics and wondered if the company had discovered that their plant was the epicenter for the tremors.
They obviously had no idea what was buried in the ground. Otherwise, they would have put up a better fence. The sarcasm in his thoughts made him shake his head. His internal speak sounded very Lois-y these days.
Listening for the creature while trying to get a glimpse of the tunnels with his x-ray vision distracted Clark just enough so that he missed the sound of footsteps until they were almost upon him. Even without seeing who it was he suspected a member of the team. One of them would have put two and two together by now, wedding or no wedding. When he glimpsed his visitor's profile out of the corner of his eye, he sighed. Just his luck that it would be the one person who knew exactly who he was … and who he wasn't.
"J'onn," he nodded, trying not to grimace at the rough edge to his voice.
Even if J'onn couldn't read his mind, his voice was probably a dead give-away. "Are you following the tremors or me?"
J'onn looked him over from head to toe before commenting.
All black attire … another give-away.
"I am sorry to say that we haven't really been looking into these tremors as we should have, what with Chloe moving and the wedding plans." J'onn's gaze grew questionning. "Until now, we were all assuming that they were an unnatural, natural phenomenon." At Clark's raised brow, he grew defensive. "A lot of that happens around here," he commented.
When Clark didn't respond, the Martian released a sigh. "Actually, most of our resources have been spent looking for Tess-"
"Tess is missing?" Clark asked him warily. In his time, he'd avoided Tess for the most part. When the Darkness invaded, she'd been one of the first taken and had wreaked havoc in her own right before she was killed. Now, his only concern was whether her disappearance might affect the job he and Lois came back to do.
This time it was J'onn's eyebrow that rose as he caught the other man's thoughts. He shook his head after a minute. "I don't think the two events are connected … but I think that Tess' disappearance relates to the emergence of a old friend, now turned villain …" he trailed off thoughtfully.
"Lex Luthor," Clark remarked.
J'onn raised his hand. "It would probably be best if I didn't know too much about the future."
"Don't worry," Clark told him. "Everything's in flux right now anyway. What I know could change completely in the next few hours." He continued to stare the chain link fence and felt the smirk cross his face. "I can tell you we'd all be saved a lot of trouble if we could just train the beast to go after Luthor."
J'onn's smile was quick. "Have you been hanging with Lois, by any chance?"
Clark shrugged, the sarcasm in his voice tinged with affection. "I can't seem to get away from her … now or in the future."
"Like you would want to," J'onn commented, reaching into his pocket and offering Clark a cookie. When Clark shook his head, J'onn took a bite contemplatively, letting the silence stretch. "If you can tell me … what do you have that our Clark lacks?"
"Nothing," he told the Martian, his jaw flexing in response to the question.
"Flight?"
In response, Clark just shrugged. "He just needs to make up his mind."
The Martian studied future Clark for a minute. "So, you're here as a …" His voice trailed away as understanding dawned. "You know, your potential is not limited by your past actions."
Clark fought to keep the bitterness from his response. "I'm not him and never will be," he said. "It's him the world needs. Trust me, I've seen just how much." He shrugged and continued to watch the fence. "My potentialwill probably be a moot point by the time this is over."
"He would tell you that you should never lose hope."
Clark couldn't contain his bark of laughter, impressed by the Martian's quick wit. "What would you tell me?"
J'onn shrugged. "I'd probably remind you that the future is always changing. Nothing is set in stone." His eyes were dark as they looked intensely at Clark. "I know that as well as anyone."
Taken aback by the words, Clark realized that J'onn had memories of the Darkness, as well. "I guess you would," he commented, gaining respect for the man. He could see now why Lois counted him as a friend … and why Clark had also counted him as a friend before the Darkness had kept him from having any.
A few minutes passed in silence while J'onn finished his cookie. When a violent tremor shook the ground the men fought to keep their balance and managed to stay upright. J'onn grimaced when part of the cookie dropped.
"Is there any way to keep that thing down there?"
Clark narrowed his eyes toward the underground trenches and paused. "No."
"Is there anything you need?"
Clark's x-ray vision couldn't pick up the creature … not yet. "I'm going to need some back up if this goes south."
"Kara didn't come with you." I was more of a statement than a question.
Clark didn't bother to respond.
"You didn't tell her," J'onn surmised.
Again, Clark didn't feel the need to answer that one out loud.
J'onn seemed to follow Clark's thoughts. "Knowledge of the future doesn't always give us the answers, does it?"
"No," Clark answered, trying to keep his thoughts clear for the Martian's benefit as much as his own.
Finally, J'onn nodded his head. "I'll station myself at Watchtower," he told Clark. "I don't think they'll miss me at the wedding."
Surprise made Clark blink and turn to face the Martian. "Is there going to be a wedding?"
"I tracked you last night," J'onn told him with a smile playing across his lips. "I know who's with you. I assume she's here to tackle that problem. If I know her, which I do, then there will be a wedding." He paused for a minute and pulled out another cookie. "I just wish I could watch - Lois versus Lois - now that would be something to see."
Kent farm, early afternoon
The note, written simply in Lois' scrawl, read, "Meet me at the farm as soon as possible."
Standing at the Kent mailbox, Clark glanced at it one more time, his eyes moving to the farm and the small red car parked out front. She was here and she wanted to see him.
Heart racing, he sped up through the gate to the kitchen door, pausing with his hand on the knob, his thoughts continuing to race.
Was this some sort of ultimatum or had she changed her mind?
Both reactions scared him now.
After he'd left Lois' office this morning, he'd tried to rectify what she'd told him the barn with what she was telling him now. How could he persuade her she was wrong if he didn't understand? Still, after thinking it through, he couldn't understand her reasoning, so he'd ended up replaying the past two and half years together.
Was it his fault?
Years ago, based on what he'd seen in the future, he'd convinced himself that as long as he had Lois, everything would be perfect. That was a lot of pressure to put on someone. Had Lois finally buckled under his expectations? He certainly could understand how that would happen.
Yet, she never seemed that intent on making things perfect. She constantly disagreed with him. Their first big fight was over Davis Bloome. Lois joined Chloe in her crazy idea to hide Davis away in the basement of the Talon as a way of protecting Clark. After a while all the secrecy destroyed Chloe's relationship with Jimmy and put a serious strain on Lois' relationship with Clark. In the end, it didn't make any difference. Clark was forced to fight the beast anyway, after Chloe separated him from Davis. A short battle later and Clark had buried the beast in the tunnels below the Geothermal Plant.
Then Lois sided with Kara over Clark when it came to Kara's decision to travel permanently to the future. In the end, Clark had lost that argument and Kara had joined the Legion and settled in another time. She wasn't alone. Much to Clark's surprise, Davis decided to go with her. The man was struggling after the separation and it was Kara who suggested the idea. As far as Clark knew they were both thriving in their time.
He shook his head. Lois wasn't a woman who had a problem letting him know what was on her mind. If she was feeling the pressure, surely she would have said something.
Maybe the problem was time. It seems that the two of them never had enough of it. In the past couple of years, he'd be forced to deal with Zod and the Kandorians, Checkmate, and his own training and Oliver's group of heroes.
The last thought reminded him that he hadn't heard from J'onn or the team in a few days. He felt another tremor shake the earth and wondered if the team was working on the problem. Lois had narrowed the cause to the west side of the city. If they were working on it, they were keeping him out of the loop. For once he didn't mind.
Keeping his hand on the knob he paused again as the thought crossed his mind that Lois was making the right decision. Just thinking about the past two years reminded him of all the craziness in his life. As much as the idea pained him, he knew that living with him would never be easy. Maybe he shouldn't push …
Feeling uncertain, his confidence from the morning diminished, Clark opened the door and walked into kitchen. The sight of his mother sitting at the counter, dressed in her semi-formal attire, stopped him in his tracks.
"Mom, what are you doing here?"
His mother calmly took a drink before looking up. "I've been helping the bride."
Clark swallowed nervously and crossed his arms over his chest. "The bride?"
With a sympathetic expression, his mother walked over and rested her hand on his arm. "Clark, it's not unusual for a woman who's getting married to have jitters before the wedding-"
"Jitters?" Clark exclaimed, following his mother's gaze up the stairs, and lowering his voice. "Mom, she was ready to call off the whole thing."
"I know, honey," his mother told him with a pat on the arm, "but Lois' reaction was actually pretty typical."
Clark uncrossed his arms and stepped back, letting his mother's hand drop to her side. "Nothing about this is typical, mom." Clark ran a hand through his hair, letting his frustration show. He couldn't hide his distress from his mother. "Lois got to experience my powers for a day." Clark couldn't keep from pacing. "Maybe she has a valid point," he continued, his voice breaking on the last few words. "Being married to me won't be easy. What if getting married isn't what's right?"
His mother kept her face passive but he could see the concern and sympathy in her eyes. "Clark, if getting married was about doing what was right, your father and I never would have tied the knot." A bitter sweet smile crossed her face. "Marriage isn't always about what's right or wrong; it's about building a life together."
Her mind seemed to wonder and she paused before she continued. "Being married isn't easy, no matter who you are, but if you love each other …" The smile stayed on her face as she gripped his arm. "Remember that, Clark, and everything will work out," she said. "Now, go talk to her." With that, she turned and walked back to the counter. Picking up the cup, she told him, "I'm going to take my tea outside."
Clark watched as his mother picked up her cup, then his eyes turned to the top of the stairs. His mother hadn't told him anything about what Lois was thinking. Feeling anxious, he took the stairs two at a time and opened the door to his old bedroom, only to have it pushed back until he was standing in the hall.
"No seeing the bride before the wedding, Prince Charming. It's against the rules," Lois' voice told him.
Part of him wanted to push in the door so he could see and touch her, but the other part reminded him that he didn't want to push. He'd done enough of that this morning. Standing in the hall, he let her take the lead. Uncertainly, he faced the door with his hands in his pockets. "I thought you were calling off the ceremony."
With the door left open a crack, he could hear her clearly. "Well, about that," Lois told him. "I was thinking about what you said this morning … and about what you wrote." Hearing her words fade in and out, Clark could tell she was pacing. "Look, don't have a cow, farm boy, but I read your vows. I know it's against the rules but a little bird gave them to me and, once they were in my hands, I had to look …"
Clark felt a smile tug at the corners of his mouth. Lois was nervous and babbling away. Slowly, as she continued, he felt each one of his doubts fade away and disappear.
Marriage isn't about what's right or wrong; it's about building a life together …
And that's what he wanted to do with Lois - to listen to her babble when she was nervous, to watch her bite her bottom lip when she was tempted, and to simply hold her on those few occasions when she cried. He never wanted her to be perfect; he never needed things to be right. He just wanted to be with her through all the mistakes and the trying times. Just like now.
Her voice floated out to him, interrupting his thoughts.
"So, I know it's breaking the rules but, since I already did …" Clark watched as a sheet of paper slid under the door. "Here are my vows."
"Lois … I know I pushed you this morning," Clark told her, his certainty warring with his need to make sure that this was what she wanted. "If you don't want to do this today, I want you to know that I'll understand." He paused, the words hurting even though he knew they were the ones he should say. "I'll marry you in three hours, three days or three years."
On the other side of the door, Lois felt her heart swell, marveling at how Clark could always say what she needed to hear. She touched the door gently, wishing that the hard wood surface was Clark instead. She wanted to throw her arms around him now and apologize. She'd done an about-face after one day with his powers, forgetting that he was a man and treating him like he was nothing but a hero. He deserved better than that.
"I know, Smallville," she told him softly, wanting to kick herself for making him doubt her … doubt himself … doubt them. "I needed a little push in the right direction, a reminder …." Her voice trailed off. She didn't want to say too much about her visitor from the future, even if she was the one who'd been able to get through the panic.
When she literally came face-to-face with herself she realized what she'd done. In trying to be selfless she'd made the selfish choice. In some ways it was easier to give him up than live with trying to support him. As her double had pointed out, if she did her part, more people would be saved, not less.
Reading Clark's vows only cemented what the woman from the future was telling her.
Clark needed Lois.
Still, she'd hurt him and now she needed to make that up to him somehow. "Clark, I'm sorry. I think we can all agree that I was never meant to have your powers. They made me a little crazy-"
"Lois …" Clark interrupted, clearly upset by her self-criticism.
"No, Clark, listen. Having your powers made me focus on what you're supposed to do and made me forget what I'm supposed to do." Lois swallowed hard and leaned her shoulder against the door frame. It was never easy for her to apologize.
Would Clark accept her apology?
"What is it you're supposed to do, Lois?" Clark asked, his voice growing faint as if he'd turned his back on her. Just the thought made her shudder and her words caught in her throat.
"Just … just read them, Clark," she managed to choke out.
She wouldn't blame him if he wanted to back out. When he needed her, she hadn't been there for him. Between her own guilt and his silence, she was having trouble breathing. For what felt like minutes, but was probably only seconds, she paced the floor … waiting.
Finally, she couldn't take it anymore. "Clark?" She rested her hand on the door and leaned her face against it, trying to bring herself closer to him.
Nothing.
Her heart stopped. Clark wasn't responding. What if she was too late? How would she ever live with herself … live without him? Just when she thought she might start hyperventilating, he spoke.
"I'm here, Lois."
At the sound of his voice - so close, so tender - she almost cried out. The scattered pieces of her heart came together to form a whole and she felt like she could breathe for the first time in days.
"I'll see you at the chapel," he told her warmly.
She inhaled deeply and a lone tear trickled down her face. Impatiently she brushed it away.
Exhaling softly, she responded. "I'll see you there."
Closing the door, she leaned against it, taking another deep breath. Clark's footsteps headed for the other bedroom and his tuxedo. She listened to them, her breathing automatically matching his steps.
In her heart, she knew that married life with Clark would have its challenges, that being the support he needed would never be easy. Still, it was role she was meant for …
My destiny is to love you.
Her certainty grew … she could breathe again.
The Chapel at sunset
Lois rubbed the scars on her throat as she stood outside the quaint little chapel and looked through one of the clear panels in the stained glass window. The concrete block she'd commandeered for height wobbled a little and she reached for the sill.
A strong arm steadied her from the side.
"Is this really necessary?" Clark asked.
She said nothing, just gave him a glaring look and turned back to the widow, her heart full as she watched the culmination of what the Legion started years ago. What she started years ago. Now she felt like a proud parent, sort of.
"Are you feeling anything?" Lois asked the man next to her.
Clark shook his head. "No, we must be far enough away. I'm not getting any of the dizziness or disorientation that Garth warned me about."
"Good," Lois whispered, taking another peek into the small clear pane.
The music was playing now, loud enough that she could hear it on the outside of the small building. Attendance was good, Lois noted with satisfaction. From her perspective she could see most of the team - Victor, Dinah, A.C. and his wife, Mera - only Bart was missing. She recognized several prior co-workers, including Randall and Jimmy, as well as some of her long-lost relatives.
Mrs. Kent had already been seated and, as she watched, Chloe and Oliver walked happily down the aisle together.
Without realizing it, she squeezed Clark's arm, sighing at her cousin's happiness.
"Chloe." Clark's voice was barely above a whisper as he leaned in to see what Lois was looking at. The pain on his face took her by surprise. Sometimes she forgot what he'd been through before he brought the Darkness to Star City. After succumbing in Metropolis, Clark had tried to pull others with him to the dark side. Chloe followed her friend but resisted the Darkness. She was killed as a result.
It was a lot for Clark to deal with.
With a soft hand, Lois turned Clark's face to hers. With the added support, they were eye to eye. "Leave what happened in the past in the past," she told him firmly. Looking over Clark's shoulder through one of the other panes, she smiled. "She's happy now."
When he nodded, she cupped his chin in her hand, using her thumb to smooth out the wrinkles that had formed around his mouth. Before she could do any of the other things she wanted to do, the wedding march began and the crowd stood.
Lois turned back to the window, only to find her father blocking her view of the bride.
"Crap," she muttered under her breath. "The General's in my way."
Clark's breath was warm against her ear, even with the sarcasm in his voice. "I'm sure you look beautiful, Lois."
"Ha, ha," she replied, shuffling on the block to change the angle of her view. "She'd better," Lois muttered, trying to shift her position on the block. Moving to the left didn't help her to see Lois' face, only made her more unsteady on her makeshift step.
At least the General looks proud.
She smiled at the thought, her eyes traveling to Martha. She looked proud and happy as well.
Her eyes sought out the groom, who was waiting patiently next to Oliver in his three-piece suit. His eyes were completely and utterly transfixed on the bride. From Lois' perspective the look on his face was the happiest she'd ever seen. By the time the bride reached him, the groom's expression was so radiant Lois was forced to look away.
One side of her mouth turned up as she turned her gaze to the man standing next to her. "He looks happy," she remarked, unable to stay silent for long.
"He is." Clark's tone was quiet, almost assessing.
"Wouldn't it be something if he started floating right here in the Chapel?"
Clark turned back to her with a near-panicked expression. "Don't even joke about that."
Lois had to suppress a laugh. At the mirth in her eyes, Clark shook his head. "What are we doing here, Lois?" He turned back to look at the bride and groom. "This has got to be the weirdest thing I've ever done."
Lois ignored him with a "shushing" sound as the couple started speaking their vows. She couldn't hear all the words but she knew most of them by now. Her mind went to the moment this morning that her double read the words Clark had written.
I, Clark Kent, take you, Lois Lane to be my companion, forever …
With you by my side, I will never be alone.
When I've been lost, you've always been there to bring me back …
You've always believed in me … and I believe in you … and when you believe in someone, it's not just for a minute or for now, it's forever …
One read-through of Clark's words and Lois had seen everything she wanted to on her double's face. All the heartache and the self-doubt seemed to melt away.
"He needs me," her double said, not seeking confirmation as much as giving it to herself.
Lois nodded, "Yes, he does."
"I'm an idiot."
Lois nodded her agreement with a smile on her face and tears in her eyes.
Now, looking at the bride's face, everything was there … all the love and understanding that Lois hoped for when she started this journey. Right now, even though she couldn't see them, she was sure that the bride's eyes were shining with tears.
When it was her turn, Lois caught only bits and pieces of the vows but was proud of what she heard. In any time and any place, Lois Lane had a way with words.
I wanted these vows to be perfect but perfection is hard thing to get your hands on …
With love, it's like the General always says about the army, you should sign up if it's the only thing you could imagine yourself doing.
I could not imagine spending a moment of my life without you …
You're my best friend, you're my home and you're my true love …
I am yours and will be forever.
With the vows complete, the minister started speaking, and Lois leaned forward to place a kiss on Clark's jaw. "All right," she told him. "You've indulged me long enough, I suppose." She looked at the messenger on her waist and her heart sank. "It's time to go."
Hazel eyes met blue and she knew he could see the fear in hers. His lop-sided smile sent her heart into overdrive, as it always did, but behind the smile she could see his worry and his own fear. Holding her gaze, he inclined his head toward the bride and groom.
"We have time for the rings," he said softly.
His words filled her with mixed emotions. She knew they were putting off the inevitable but part of her wanted to forget and live in this moment. What Clark was willing to do for Superman, for them all …
It made her love him more. What he was willing to do for her seemed boundless. She couldn't imagine her life without him. Even now, stalking her dopplegangers' wedding, she wanted him by her side.
With a nod, she plastered a smile on her face turned with him to watch the front of the chapel. Her hands moved to his shoulders and she rested her chin there, tilting her head against his. After a minute, her eyes closed, working against the tears that threatened as her mind continued to dwell on the sacrifice her Clark was willing to make for her and for the world.
Her arms moved around him and she tightened them, promising herself that she would not lose him again. With her eyes closed, she was surprised when Clark moved away. Opening her eyes, she found Clark facing her. Over his should she could see Oliver moving to hand the ring to the groom.
Her questioning gaze met intense, heated blue; his eyes shining in the sunset.
"What are you doing?" Her words were whispered.
"Marriage isn't a big a deal the in future, unfortunately," Clark told her, his gaze turning even more intense as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. "Lois, I know I don't have any rights after what I've put you through," he told her, pulling a ring from the box and reaching for her hand. "But, I want you to be my wife."
He paused and waited for her reaction. When she stood frozen in place, he lifted her hand and placed the ring on her third finger. Stunned, Lois could only listen, a dim part of her brain registering that Clark's words echoed the ones being said in the chapel.
"With this ring, I promise to love and honor you for the rest of my life," he said intently, a small smile playing around the edges on his mouth.
Vaguely Lois could see that the bride was taking her turn with the ring in the chapel, but she could only watch. Clark had taken her completely by surprise. She had nothing … except words.
"Cark, I …" when she would have said something, made her own promises … or her own excuses, Clark stopped her with a finger to her lips.
Leaning forward, he kissed her gently, the softness of his lips turning her to mush. Lois sighed when he pulled away, her heart beating with so much love and, when she remembered what he was here for, so much fear that she thought it would burst out of her chest. "Clark-"
"Later, Lois," he interrupted, his expression turning serious and the light leaving his eyes. "You can tell me whatever you want … just, do it … after."
At the meaning behind his words, her eyes filled with tears. He continued to watch her intently, the sunset making his eyes glow. As Lois watched him, she tried to memorize the moment – the feel of his hand on hers, the look on his face, the pounding of her heart. She never wanted to forget, no matter what happened.
When she couldn't take in anymore, she nodded her agreement. Releasing the breath he was holding, letting out a soft growl, Clark capture Lois' face in his hands, kissing her in a way that made her knees go weak.
Opening her eyes when he pulled away, she caught a glimpse of the bride and groom over his shoulder, sealing their promises with a kiss.
Seeing the other two finalize their vows was like standing on the roof of the Chronicle – a reminder that her efforts had made a difference. Like that night she felt resolute, giving a bright smile to the man who had pledged himself to her.
Some things were just meant to be.
Her heart swelled with hope.
That's when the ground started rumbling.