You've got a heart as loud as lions,
So why let your voice be tamed?

Arthur was silent for a long while after Merlin revealed his injuries to him. Both sat there in silence and only heard the fire going on and the light smell of smoke rising up to the airing hole.

"I know you want to ask me why it happened, but are trying to be considerate, am I right?" the slightly sarcastic voice brought Arthur back out of his musings.

"You don't have to tell me but if it's all right with you…?"

Sigh

"I used a lot of magic. In fact I had to reshape your destiny a bit. You know, originally you were meant to die that day, traveling to Avalon to rest there and to come to the world once more when the greatest time of need would arise."

The blond just stared at his friend dumbfounded.

"Because changing fate is not something one can do on a whim, the goddess guided me to connect my magic with that of the world to help me heal you."

"But why are you blind, and why the change of hair and colour?" Arthur raised a brow, magic still eluded him and even if he wouldn't say it, he was relieved that he now had someone on his side who could explain all that magical stuff to him.

"….I know you think nothing much of magic, that it is just a power to corrupt ones soul, in which I have to correct you. Magic is power, that much is true, but it does not corrupt in itself. It is the way it is used, which determines whether you are seen as good or bad." Merlin let his shoulder drop; the king saw sadness as well as bitterness showing on the warlocks face.

"So possessing magic does not automatically make you evil, I see that now…. But doesn't it make it easier to fall into darkness and use it for just one's own gain?" He saw the dark, no, white haired man look towards him…. No just turning his head….he thought.

"Wow the day that King Arthur uses his head and thinks for himself! I didn't think that I would live that long to experience that day." A slight smile made its way onto the amused man's face.

"It's like with anyone who gets power," Merlin's face became serious again, "some use it for selfish means, others may also keep it to themselves but not to do harm, and yet another helps others with it. But it is not all black and white Arthur….power is power no matter how you look at it, and magic definitely is one of them."

"Okay… coming back to your…changes now?" the king slightly scratched his chin. A small stubble had formed on it. He still wasn't sure how sensible Merlin would react and which questions were safe to ask.

"Apparently I found the connection to my true magic when I healed you. I should have died…. I was prepared to die, but the goddess has other plans for me. I ended up giving you some of my life." There was a small pause.

"Arthur magic and life have both one thing in common did you know?" Arthur knew he didn't have to answer the question. And his assumption was confirmed when Merlin spoke without waiting for him to actually answer.

"It is power…. Magic and life are this….energy… both existing at the same time and also neither existent at the same. So when I gave life, or power, to you, nature supplied me with magic to replenish me… to make up for the energy I lost. The hair and blindness are the price I had to pay. I literally aged but was then filled up with new power, new life."

"I still do not understand, if you were healing me with magic, why didn't it heal you at the same time? Magic can be used to heal, so why didn't it heal you?" The king was confused, if magic as powerful as the warlock told him, why did the things happen to him?

Merlin sighted, he had asked the question himself but quickly found an answer. "Arthur, did you ever see an aged sorcerer or sorceress?" Arthur unsurely looked towards the blind eyes of his friend. The fire still merrily crackled.

"Of course there are old people who use magic…." he felt dumb for even stating the obvious.

"Then tell me, Arthur, if magic could heal anything why would the people willingly remain old?" a sly smile began to form on the lips of the white haired man. The blond knew that it was typical of Merlin when finding the king to be especially oblivious to his surroundings or, sometimes, matters of ordinary life.

"I found out that becoming old is the same as one's own power subsidiary depleting. And you know that the body hardly changes back. Think of a wound. Even with magic scars remain so…." The warlock stopped and gave the blond time to process the information.

Arthur pondered a little over that. It was true that if magic could heal everything, there would certainly be no old, or incapacitated sorcerers. He slumped forward on the log, his side still dully throbbing.

"You were the old sorcerer!" the thought hit him like a hammer. Arthur knew now why the pesky old man seemed so familiar to him. The eyes, it has always been the eyes.

"I….Arthur, I…." Merlin again turned his head away, the whole body now radiating more discomfort and uneasiness than before. A light tinge of fear swung in the otherwise smooth voice of the warlock.

The king waited, he had the feeling for once that his friend needed time, and that he should hear what he had to say, but it was hard, sitting and waiting. It was just not in his nature.

A loud gulp and intake of breath announced the response.

"Yes… I… I was Dragoon."

Silence

"I… Arthur y-you know, I-I didn't want to do anyone a-any harm! I always used this disguise when I needed to do magic. Okay, doing magic openly. But Arthur I never meant to be the one to be accused of regicide you have to believe me! I-it was Morgana, she placed a cursed necklace around Uther's neck, I didn't knew, please Arthur, I-I really tried to heal him, but the necklace was cursed to turn the magic into its counterpart and throw it back tenfold. Please Arthur-I-I…." it was as if a dam had broken, the words rushed forth in an endless stream.

Arthur held up a hand to stop the now mindless blabbering of his friend but recognizing it didn't bring anything, he gently touched the still talking man on his arm. The king didn't thought anything of it, but the violent jerk let him retract his hand equally as fast.

"I won't do you any harm." These were the only words spoken for a period of time. Merlin, after understanding that he just had to shut up, curled his hands up into fists and silently but the whole body tensed up, before the fire.

"I believe you, Merlin, how could I not? You are a friend to me, a brother…I'm sorry." Arthur was sincere, but he noticed Merlin was still tense.

"Why are you apologizing?" the voice was cautious.

"Merlin…. Please hear me out. I now understand what you've must been through all these years, being born with magic and all of that." Arthur began, "I feel like an idiot to not notice it sooner. It had to be hard for you…. Will you forgive me for all I've said and done?" Arthur asked tentatively into the air.

A hitched sound made its way to his ears and when the king turned his head towards is friend he saw tears streaming down the pale face. Being bad with words as he was, Arthur decided to show his understanding in another way. Carefully to not startle the warlock he patted his head and when anther sob escaped Merlin's lips he slowly, and also a little bit awkwardly, pulled his head to his shoulder.

The king wasn't fully braced when Merlin only sobbed even harder and suddenly embraced the blond with full force. This time Arthur was glad that the other couldn't see his grimace as his freshly healed wound was agitated once more.

The time flew by and neither man knew exactly how long they sat before the fire both being lost in the comfort the other brought to them.

"So what kind of name is Dragoon anyway?"

They talked until the sun set, and some of the villagers came and brought food and new firewood. Merlin and Arthur were wholly occupied with the people and Arthur found himself surrounded by countless smaller children who bugged the king to tell them tales of heroic deeds and beasts he had encountered over the years.

They and the villagers themselves were a curious bunch of people. Arthur actually learned they weren't even human to begin with. Merlin told him beforehand to expect some sudden showing of magic. He told him that Avalon was a land of magic and its inhabitants certainly used it in day to day life.

But it was at a somewhat quieter moment just after the king finished the tale how they freed Camelot of the Dorocha that a hushed silence fell over the gathering.

The blond looked up and saw how Merlin was doing something with his hands which seemed to draw the attention from everyone, children and adults alike, to his figure. When Arthur noticed that his friend had started to form figures from fire, moving figures, he also waited with hold breath what the warlock would do with them.

It was at the time, of great kings and deeds.
There lived a wizard with no greater sin,
than to live and do good to the land.
And yet the day came, he was asked by his king:
"Why do you blame, why do you shun me, wizard speak!"

The wizard then, eyes spouting wisdom said:
"My king, oh king I see you are afraid.
I neither blame nor shun thee my liege.
But alas my heart doth fears for you,
the one not knowing why magic should be free."

The king let hatred take root in his mind,
and though he knew the wizards words held truth,
his heart closed up, no longer was kind.
And fear of the power of magic brought,
darkness and sickness in the land wrought.

The wizard saddened when he saw the depredation.
So whilst going against his king and queen,
He evoked the greatest magic slumbering deep,
To bring them the much-needed salvation.
He gave his life for death to reap.

And when the first light of new dawn shone,
The darkness and sickness were overcome.
It was thanks to one whom selflessly and alone,
that the king who did not believe in goodness,
though saved from evil, sat lonely on his throne.

Many long years having now passed by
And the king old and wizened wondered why
He never felt joy nor grief nor pain
when he finally realised it all was in vain
He had forever lost the most special of all.

A friend a brother he once called him,
but now his death was his greatest of sin.

A sonorous voice accompanied the tale, entrancing and captivating its audience and made the fantastical seem real.

The figures which painted the tale into the air, showing vividly what happened in the story slowly sank down again and sank into the waiting hands of the warlock. Nobody had jet to speak, even the children, and Arthur felt moved even though it wasn't the most perfect ballad he heard, as it was that he found parts of himself in it.

He hadn't even known that Merlin could sing, or create such lyrical work at that. But when he thought how the warlock once used poetry as an excuse for sneaking around the castle, a small smile made it on his face.

It wasn't long after the last one of the villagers left the two humans that Arthur once again asked a question. "Merlin, I…. how… please don't be offended, but… how, how can you do magic like just then?" the blond was unsure of how to ask, "You can't… well…see and…I guess I don't really understand….." he awkwardly broke off. Damn it! The normally composed king had to stop himself from being so unsure.

He saw the warlock staring at him, the white orbs looking unfamiliar in that angular face. "I guess I can feel my magic…. and even before all of this happened," he gestured with his hand towards his face, "I could oftentimes use magic with just a thought alone. I imagine the things I wanted you all to see and my magic reacted to it." He shrugged.

Arthur once again was relieved that Merlin was on his side, it would be a disaster if he should change his mind and work against him and Camelot.

Arthur sighted.

"Why me Merlin, why Camelot?" it was a question the blond had carved to ask since he knew the pale haired man had magic.

Merlin shrugged his shoulders again and slowly slid down from the log, leaning his back against it.
"In the beginning I sometimes outright loathed to work at Camelot, working for you and having to save your ass. But I think it changed when I was able to experience the other sides of you and the others." the warlock once again sighted and began to contemplate.

They once again sat in almost complete silence.

"You know…. All my life I have been told that I had to watch out for the men with the red cloaks. To mind my words and let nobody know I could do magic… It was….. how can I say it….stifling at times." Arthur saw how Merlin pinched the back of his nose between thumb and middle finger and slowly began massaging it. It was a curious habit the warlock seemingly developed when he was getting stressed or had many things to think about, Arthur noted.

But the king was not really surprised at Merlin's statement, having heard the same thing often enough. He copied his former manservant and sat on the ground beside Merlin.

"I think we should do us something good and go to bed. It is getting late and I think we both have to think and sleep about some things, what do you say?" he slightly poked the warlock with his elbow into the ribs, and promptly received a badly aimed slap on the shoulder.

"I think you are right. Come I show you where we can sleep, we can't having the princess miss her beauty sleep now, can we?" a sly smirk and the wriggling of his eyebrows made Arthur splutter.

"I do not need beauty sleep! You may need it because who from us both is the girl Merlin?" he stretched the first syllable of Merlin's name like he always did.

"As you say so, sire." The relief in the warlock's voice at the light-hearted banter was unmistakable.

After putting some new logs on the fire, Merlin showed Arthur a small ladder at the end of the building, leading onto a small second floor where two rough beds, mattresses made of straw and fur, stood. Not bothering to remove any clothing except their boots, both men quickly laid down. Arthur was almost fast asleep when his head hit the crude pillow.

It was after almost two weeks of further healing and learning about the other, as well as the life of the people of Avalon, that Merlin and Arthur felt good enough to take on the ride home. Arthur's mood was again soured when he realized that they had no horses to ride and that he and Merlin had to walk back to Camelot.

He had learned much about the fair folk and even magic, they used it for day to day living, much to Arthur's surprise. He hadn't known how useful magic could be. He also learned some rather upsetting facts about Merlin he wished he knew sooner. For example that he was to blame for the death of his friends' love of his life.

It was the very same woman who currently led the duo to the Sanctuary.

"You can change your clothes at the small pool if you wish or could travel in the ones you are currently wearing, either way you may keep them, they are a gift from the fair folk." Freya said looking at Arthur, a small smile formed on her lips. They once again stood at the altar in the small grove where Arthur had been healed.

"If I am to keep them I would prefer to change back into my armour it's safer to travel with."

The king voiced his thoughts, even though the clothes he currently wore were made of some of the finest material he ever felt, and that was not usual seeing as he always had the best clothes there were since he was born.

"Very well, Merlin you still know the way to the place I mean? You should find it when you search for the pond, it has its own distinct signature."

Arthur and Merlin walked together, Merlin having laid his right hand onto Arthur's offered arm since leaving the village. They figured this way as the easiest for them both at the Moment. Merlin, with the help of Eadgar and others from the village, had started learning to sense living objects, people mostly, so he knew when someone was in his near vicinity. He had taken to call it a signature, when he found out that it differed from person to person. Hence even stones had differences even though they were really small and he had to concentrate really hard to catch them.

But it was still easier to follow Arthurs lead to places than to slowly walk around and try not to fall over every object in the way or run into something… or someone. Sometimes the warlock just wanted to scream in frustration.

The long time of helping Arthur getting dressed and donning his armour really paid off. Even though Merlin couldn't see, he could still feel, and with the help of the king saying whether a piece was false or not, the men needed not that much longer than they would have needed before Merlin became blind.

"Where are my clothes?" the warlock complained after Arthur noticed that the usual outfit of the light haired man was missing. He didn't mind it that much, especially when it came to that dreaded neckerchief, seriously that man had no idea of what was considered normal.

"Come on you dunderhead, we'll ask the Lady where your things are." He took the still grumbling Merlin by the hand and led the way back.

As it turned out Merlin's clothes were way to torn to save them. Even the otherwise sturdy jacked had so much tears and fabric missing that it wouldn't do anymore. Years of wearing and the tedious journey to the lake caused the fabric to give out. At least the neckerchief was washed and cleaned, to the dismay of Arthur who gave the offending piece of fabric a death-glare.

They soon found themselves ready and followed the pale lady towards the shores of the lake. The king still couldn't figure out how Freya and Merlin could forgive him for doing something so cruel and destroy the future they could have had.

But both would not hear a thing, saying it was for the best that it happened as it had and explicitly told him that he had done nothing wrong.

He still turned away his head when Freya took Merlin's head into her hands and whispered to her love.

They deserve to be together, I can't take that moment from him… maybe I should go a little bit further away…. Then they don't have to whisper…..

Thinking it a good idea, Arthur walked along the sandy shore and let his eyes wander about the lake. He looked at the apple-tree forest one last time, remembering the apple he got from Lyndon and everything he experienced and learned in Avalon.

When he heard his name being called Arthur turned around and walked back towards the warlock and the lady. They both stood beside a small boat, waiting for him.

Merlin got in first and then the blond took their luggage and moved to step into the boat too.

"Aren't you two forgetting something?" a voice sounded from behind, and both warlock and king turned around, startled.

Hello everybody. I hope you have been well. It was really for me hard to write the interactions between Merlin and Arthur...I've tried to not yust write dialouge but to also include some reactions to them...so who do you think is the mysterious person at the end?

firewings27

Released: 16.04.2023