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Regret Shall Break The Soul

Part three.

Fear is temporary. Regret lasts a lifetime, and so, the regret shall be pressed to my lips until I can no longer breathe. For eternity, I shall love you, but never will I have you. I let my head rule my heart, and now I've lost. My soul is broken.

"This isn't just going to magically sort itself out, Rachel." She could have run, again. But what would that have achieved? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. He was sitting waiting for her on the office sofa, slightly hunched with his posture, and completely fed-up. Rachel dared to say anything, but rather she chose silence as the better alternative. Maybe she needed to select her words carefully this time. "Stop running from it." Eddie was serious, and she knew it. Rachel drew her attention to the open door, which no doubt needed to be closed; she didn't need anymore witnesses. Hearing the door click shut, she raised her attention back to him. "Eddie, I'm not running from anything." Her tone was gentle but firm.

"What did you mean earlier? When you said what you did?", the crinkle of his brow made her feel guilty. It was a kind of guilt she couldn't explain. She wanted him to understand; to understand that her love for him was wrong, and that it couldn't be, but she knew he had every ounce of fight in him to pursue it. She couldn't do that to him. He would be the collateral damage, and she loved him too much for that.

"Look, Eddie, I'm happy for you, really I am. I just had a moment, that was all." He knew she was lying again. She couldn't look at him. He didn't want to shout, or to get angry; he was just desperate to understand. He stood to his feet, thrust his hands into his pockets, and took a few steps forward. "So this is you telling me you're happy for me to marry Melissa?", he asked. Silence loomed. He needed an answer. He wanted a reaction, but he got nothing. In anger, he spat, "Your sister!" There. He'd pushed her, finally. Rachel's head shot up, and her eyes darted to his. "What's that supposed to mean?!" Rachel retorted, as she stormed over to the other side of her desk. She needed a barrier. She needed space to create a safe place.

"Rachel, that night outside the pub, I- " Eddie stumbled with his words. They hadn't spoken about that night since it happened, and it was dangerous territory. He observed her body language; the way she closed up and shuffled uncomfortably. "I meant what I said. It's … I know you don't want to talk about it. I won't make you. Melissa, she .. well, she's given me something to- ", he didn't have time to finish what he wanted to say before Rachel cut in quickly, "Then marry her, Eddie. Marry her."

The harshness of her words struck Eddie like never before. He wanted to shake her, to bring sense to her frame of mind. The door opened almost instantly and there stood Melissa. "What's going on?" Melissa questioned. Just how much did she hear of that conversation? All three parties felt the awkward atmosphere that loomed. Rachel stood, completely frozen and unable to communicate. "Eddie?", Melissa asked as she walked over to him, clutching at his suit jacket and pulling him in tighter. Eddie appreciated her caring nature, but maybe now wasn't the time. He gave her a half smile before casting a quick glance at Rachel, whom he could have sworn was on the verge of tears.

"Rach?" Rachel snapped out of her spiralling daze before parting her lips to speak. She struggled to find the right words, and instead she gave a smile - a false one, of course - and replied, "Eddie was just telling me how er .. how much he's thrilled you said yes. Weren't you, Eddie?". She raised her eyebrows as she declared authority with her tone. She wasn't very convincing, but it was easy to lie. He pulled his arm around Melissa's shoulder and stroked her skin gently with his thumb before giving his confirmation. "Yeah."

"Well, I have a meeting with the governors. How about we celebrate? Later?" Rachel lied as she took a seat in her chair, busying herself with some stray papers. Taking a pen, she began to scribble her signature against any space she could find, desperately hoping that she was convincing to the pair. She listened for the "Sure" that came from Melissa before hearing the door close shut again. Realising she was now alone, she threw her pen down, sat back in her chair, and shut her eyes, hoping that this day would come to an end. It had been exhausting.

Melissa could hardly keep up with Eddie's pace as he strode down the corridor. "Are you sure that's all it really was? Seemed to be an awful lot of shouting going on?" Melissa questioned, as she hurried to catch up with him. A few pupils cast a glance in her direction, and she felt somewhat embarrassed. Eddie knew it would create more of a scene, and so he waited for her to reach him. "Yeah. We had disagreed on something prior to you coming in, you know, one of the troublemakers." He waved his hand to make himself look more believable, praying it would steer Mel off the conservation. She looked at him, concerned and still not very convinced. Eddie sighed and looked away from her, taking his attention to the window, "You know your sister - she thinks she can deal with everything, alone."

"Come on then, Eddie, give us a speech!" Steph bellowed as the staff congregated in the staff room ready for the celebration. Rachel had been true to her word and had sent her secretary out to buy a few bottles of champagne to toast to the pair. Still, she was nowhere to be seen. Eddie and Melissa were standing up front, side by side, his arm around her and her hand against the lapels of his jacket - it was their signature pose. Champagne hand in hand, and smiles all around, but only if they knew. Eddie let out an uncomfortable laugh as he almost choked on his champagne.

"Well, it'll give you good practise for the good day", Steph was antagonising him. A smirk from her lips was enough to tell Eddie that she was on to something deeper. He could feel everyone's eyes burning onto him, awaiting the dreaded speech he would now have to give.

"If it even happens.", Steph whispered to Grantley, but it had been a little too loud. She attracted a few looks, and Eddie included. Steph quickly crossed one leg over the other, shuffled back in her seat, and smiled awkwardly.

"Well, er .. thanks for er .. coming! I'm a bit caught off guard, I suppose-", Eddie began. The sound of footsteps made him pause, before he looked over his shoulder to find Rachel making her entrance. There was a painful silence as all eyes fell on her. Oh, this really was awkward. Acknowledging everyone, she hastily made her way to the back of the audience. She absolutely refused to be front seat for this. Waiting for Rachel to get comfortable, Melissa sensed that it had caught Eddie well and truly off-guard. Realising this was her chance, she took it and continued with his speech, "I think what Eddie was trying to say is thanks for all of your congratulations! I'm sure it won't be long before we tie the knot. After all ..nobody likes to wait around", Melissa stated. There were a few whispers, and so nobody caught Melissa's penetrating look at Rachel. It was a stare that made Rachel feel even more uncomfortable than she already was. Happy that her sister was squirming under her words, she then turned to Eddie, who had witnessed every single part, and asked, "Do they, Eddie?"

Just how much was Melissa aware of?