Thanks for the reviews guys, you're awesome :)

So here's chapter 11.

I have to say that I love Imogen more than I thought I would. She's freaking hilarious, although clearly psycho about Eli.

I loved when she dived on the floor and put those tampons in her nose.

Anyways, here's chapter 11 :)

Reviews please?

Dear Journal,

I'm not proud on how I handled the news about Julia. It was obvious that Julia and Eli were close, so close they were sleeping together, but I don't know. I was jealous, a stupid feeling that shouldn't have had such an effect on me. It wasn't like Julia was going to show up and steal Eli away from me. She was dead. But I was still jealous, that though I was still a virgin, Eli wasn't. So, if I ended up sleeping with Eli, we won't be able to share such a special moment. Not to say it wouldn't be special, just I was going in blind while Eli had so much experience over me.

I felt like I wouldn't live up to the standards of Julia, or disappoint him because of naivety. He used to say that was his favorite thing about me, my naïve, untainted, innocence. My purity. He said it meant that I wasn't like other girls. That I had morals, and was smart. But, at the same time, he felt like I was too good for him. When in reality, he was too good for me.

I woke up with a groan, light was shining right in my face, and I rolled over to stop the glare from hurting my eyes. Something crunched underneath me, making my head ache as I thought why something would do that. I was camping, so I should be in my tent, on my mattress. With Eli.

Oh god, was the only thing that crossed my mind.

I remembered now, that I had gotten drunk, and ran off into the woods after finding out that Eli had sex with Julia. But after that, everything was blurry, so I opened my eyes and tried to focus my distorted vision.

Suddenly, everything was crystal clear, and I was staring at a very close plant…with a gigantic beetle on it. I let out a scream and sat up, scrambling away until my back hit something hard. I looked behind me to see I had bumped into a decaying fallen log.

"Where the hell am I?" I asked myself, groaning as my headache worsened.

I stood up and looked around me to see I was in the middle of the woods, and I saw no path or trail nearby. I studied where I was laying and saw I had passed out beside the log, and was surrounded by thick bramble.

So I had the sense to at least pass out in a safe spot, I thought.

I looked down at myself to see the side of my shorts ripped, and my clothes completely dirty. Leaves and twigs stuck out in random places, including my hair. I checked my pockets and grabbed my phone, and a map I used yesterday to find the lake.

I, of course, had no service. But at least I had the map to help me. I looked around me to see where I could possibly be, but I had no such luck of finding a land marker that would show where I was. And the canopy of the forest was too thick to see where the sun had risen, so I decided to look around to find the path I had taken.

I saw a clearly broken path of branches and even footsteps that were formed in the muddy ground. Obviously made by a drunken person, with the footprints in an odd path and I swear I saw handprints. It would explain the ripped shorts. I sighed, feeling annoyed that I had gotten that drunk, letting myself become reckless and walk so far from camp.

I followed the path, groaning when the path became less defined, which meant I was sober at the time. But I didn't care when I saw light coming through a wall of trees, like an opening into a clearing. I broke into a run and made it into an opening next to the lake we were at yesterday. I sighed in relief and looked at my map, and saw a cleared path that would lead me straight to the campsite.

By the time I reached the campsite, it was sundown, and the air was chilly. Everyone was pacing the clearing where we were camping; Alli and Fiona looked close to tears, Adam was on the phone, Drew was nowhere to be seen, and so was Eli.

"Guys?" I called out, everyone whipped their heads to see me, and then they all screamed my name.

Eli stumbled out of the tent as Alli and Fiona ran to me, practically tackling me in the process. I rolled my eyes, but hugged them back, glad I was safe. I opened my eyes when I heard Eli say my name, and saw him staring at me with sad eyes. I broke away from their hug and ran right into Eli's arms, digging my nails into his back, feeling awful for what I did.

I felt him shake in my arms and knew he was crying. After what happened to his brother, and to Julia, this probably hurt him immensely. I pulled away to look him in the eyes, sighing when I saw he had tears running down his cheeks.

"I'm so, so sorry." I whispered, kissing his tear-stained cheeks. "So sorry."

I kept whispering and kissing him, hoping he'd forgive me. Finally, he stopped me by grabbing my face and kissing me square on the lips. I sighed and gripped his shoulders, hoping to get some leverage when my legs seemed to give out.

"Okay, lovebirds. Save that for later, Clare probably wants to get cleaned up, and probably wants to eat, too." Alli said, making Eli to pull away from our kiss.

I ignored my hunger for most of the day, because I couldn't exactly do anything about it and I didn't want to waste time stopping when I could get to the campsite. I kissed Eli one last time before going into our tent to get stuff to clean up. We were using a nearby creek to clean ourselves and our clothes, Alli and Fiona went with me.

They told me they needed to get clean too, but I really thought that they just wanted to keep an eye on me. We washed up in separate spots, using our bathing suits to have some privacy. I groaned when I had to ask Alli to pick out all the twigs and leaves still in my hair. All in all, it took me over half an hour to be decent.

I dressed in black and pink boxer shorts, and a large pink tee shirt with a design on it. Alli's attire was similar, but Fiona was dressed in silk shorts and a tight silky top.

"And what do you plan on doing tonight, Miss Coyne?" I giggled while Fiona blushed, biting her lip to stop her from giggling like a little schoolgirl.

"Nothing." She laughed nervously as we made our way back to camp.

"Sure. Just make sure you keep it down. I need my beauty sleep." Alli laughed, giving Fiona a wink.

I walked ahead, suddenly feeling the empty feeling in my stomach, growling profusely. I made it to the campsite first and went for the cooler and got out a bag of Doritos and a bottle of water. I sat between Eli's legs like the first night there, with my back resting on the log.

I immediately started to devour the bag of Doritos while everyone laughed at my ridiculous eating. I frowned when I was left with crumbs in the bag. I sighed and wiped my hands to get the cheese off and went back to the cooler.

"You guys wanna make s'mores?" I asked, pulling out marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers.

"Booyah!" Adam yelled, Fiona eyed him.

"Really?" She laughed; he gave her a wide smile before barreling over to me and snatched the goodies.

"Adam!" I growled, chasing him while everyone laughed.

I finally tackled him and grabbed the stuff before retreating to my spot in front of Eli. I stuck my tongue out at Adam, knowing he couldn't get me with Eli 'protecting' me.

"I'm going to get you, Clare. I swear, it's gonna happen when you least expect it." He threatened, I rolled my eyes.

"Keep it up and I'll make sure you won't get a hand on these sweets." I threatened back, taunting him by swinging the bag of marshmallows.

"I give!" He said, I rolled my eyes.

We spent most of the night just pigging out to s'mores, but almost everyone went to their respective tents around midnight, including me. Eli curled up behind me, keeping my body close to his.

"Clare?" Eli asked after a while.

"Hm?" I rolled over to look at him, almost asleep.

"Why did you run into the woods?" He asked, I gulped, now fully awake.

"Well…uh…okay this is going to sound really stupid. I was mad…and jealous." I said, he gave me a confused look. "That you and Julia had…slept together. I already knew but…I'm just afraid that I'm not going to live up to her. I mean, you showed me a picture of her, and she was gorgeous. Long, straight dark hair, dark eyes and skinny. My hair is like a giant frizz ball, I'm way too pale, and I most definitely am not skinny. And the way you talk about her, she seemed amazing. And I'm not. I, also, realized that I can't even top her. She was your first, first love, first time, first kiss. I just…I don't know. I feel inadequate. Like some naïve girl that you'll leave because I can't give you what she gave you."

Eli stared at me, for a long time. I could see a lot of emotions cross his gorgeous green eyes. I saw confusion, pain, sadness, anger, but most of all, I saw love.

"Clare…" he finally spoke with a sad tone. He pulled me up with him, and had me stare straight into his eyes. "I…you have no idea how much you mean to me. How much you've changed me. For the better. You aren't naïve, you're just…innocent. Good. Pure. Everything I'm not. You're too good for me; it's not the other way around. I love you, Clare. I love you. I don't care if we don't sleep together. I don't care if you're not my first. I want you to be my last, and I hope I'll be yours."

I smiled, leaning forward to wrap my arms around his neck. "Of course."

Eli kissed my neck, wrapping his arms around my torso, and pressing me tightly to him. "Will you be my last?"

"Forever." I said, pulling back to kiss him.

"I love you, Clare Edwards," he said against my lips.

"I love you, too, Elijah Goldsworthy." I said back, kissing him back.