They're in the middle of an operation and things are going well. They're a great team so it's not often that things go wrong.
Kensi is undercover, pretending to be Callen's wife. Callen has been undercover for the past week but he said he needed some help and the easiest one to send in was Kensi to pose as his wife. That alone is enough to leave Deeks restless. He knows Callen can take care of her but she's his partner. He likes to be the one to have her back.
Or maybe that's just because seeing her kiss Callen does things to him. For example, it makes him want to punch Callen.
Deeks is inside her car, parked across the street from the night club in which they are in. Sam is parked right behind him. Kensi has a microphone in her earing and Callen has a hidden camera on his jacket.
Things are going well. The bad guys don't seem suspicious about anything of what's going on.
Callen plays his part as the businessman that does anything for money and Kensi plays the part of the lovely wife that doesn't question her husband's decisions.
It's a part that doesn't suit her. She's more the kind of girl who would never accept someone's opinion just out of love. If she has something to say, she says it. But, for the sake of this operation, she ignores her basic instincts and plays along.
Only God knows how hard that must be for her.
So things are going well until all Hell breaks loose. They see a guy pressing his gun on Kensi's back and they hear Callen say the distress word.
Deeks and Sam are running inside the night club less than a minute later, the safety of their teammates worrying them. They burst inside; guns raised and ready to shoot.
They see the next few seconds in slow motion.
Or at least Deeks sees the next few seconds in slow motion.
The guy behind Kensi drops his gun and surrenders but they don't spot the guy on the second floor in time to stop him. Deeks launches himself forward but it's too late.
Kensi drops to the floor, a bullet in her chest and blood pouring out of it.
Deeks knows Callen and Sam will take care of the guy so he drops to his knees and tries as hard as he can to stop the bleeding, shouting that he needs and ambulance and receiving Eric's answer that it's on its way.
Her eyes are half-open and he feels her breath slowing down. He's losing her and he knows that. The bullet either hit one of her lungs or it's straight in her heart. Either way, it's bad.
Deeks is well aware that chances are she's not going to make it.
He feels a tear making its way down his cheek and kisses her forehead, still applying pressure on her open wound. And he tells her the words he should have told her a long time ago.
"I love you, princess."
He feels her heart stopping beneath his palm and her eyes close a second later.
He starts trying to keep her breathing and her heart beating but it's useless. He knows that but something inside of him doesn't allow him to stop.
He can't let her go.
Kensi is not just a co-worker. She's his partner.
But she's not just his partner. She's his friend.
Well, friend is not all she is either. She's his best friend.
No, that's not right either. She's all of the above and more. She's a co-worker, his partner, his friend, his best friend and the woman he loves.
How can he let go?
He's nothing without her and he should have told her that every single day instead of telling her that they couldn't be together.
He feels Sam's hand on his shoulders and it's only then that he allows himself to stop. He sees the crushed look on Sam's face, sees Callen crying for the first time since he met him and hears Nell sobbing through the earpiece.
But none of that matters because the love of his life just died and nothing will ever be the same.
He rips the earpiece out of his ear, unable to hear Nell sobbing like that and looks away from Sam and Callen.
He looks at her. She looks peaceful, something she never really was. There's a pain inside his chest that will never go away.
The paramedics arrive and take her body. Callen and Sam leave the building but he just stands there, looking at her blood on the floor. It's too much.
Two days later, at her funeral, he can barely watch as they lower her casket to the ground. The only woman he ever loved will never be next to him again.
He'll have to live the rest of his life without her and he doesn't know how to.
He doesn't know if he wants to.
X
Deeks wakes up with a startle, a scream trapped somewhere in his throat.
He's covered in sweat, his heart is beating fast inside his chest and he's having trouble regulating his breathing. He looks to his side and notices that it's the middle of the night.
Tears of pure relief run down his cheeks when he realized it was just a nightmare. He didn't lose her.
But that thought is not enough to calm him down after such a horrible dream.
Deeks gets up and grabs a sweater, a pair of pants and some snickers. He's walking out of his house less than five minutes later, not even checking his appearance on the mirror and ignoring that fact that three in the morning is not an acceptable hour to knock on someone's door.
He doesn't care.
He needs to see her, make sure that she's breathing and that her heart is still beating strongly.
He needs to make sure that she knows how much she means to him.
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So, what do you think Kensi will do when he shows up at her door in the middle of the night?
Next chapter will be up as soon as possible.
Love,
Sarah