-Rachel:
I cringe as another cannon goes off and Haymitch rubs my back.
"They really want these Games to last a long time" I comment
"Ya, people didn't like how short they were last year."
"Oh course they didn't, cause it's not bad enough that all of those kids died." I spit back.
"Yeah, there sixteen left now, last year there were about eight."
"I know, I was there." I point out.
Chaff laughs, he's drunk, of course, so is Haymitch, but not as bad.
"Shut up Chaff" Ceier rolls her eyes, Haymitch laughs and smiles at her. I think he likes Ceier.
I glance at the clock, it's almost six, I need to go. Back to the hell hotel.
"I'm going to go for a walk." I lie.
"Have fun" my father tells me, I don't let my mental scream come out. Oh I won't have fun, but whoever bought me will. I look to say bye to Finnick, but he's not here. I guess he got called off, he told me they do the same to him. I had cried for him, but he said you get used to it after a few years. That the first year is the hardest.
I go upstairs and change, than back outside and into the car waiting outside.
"Hello Ryan" I greet my regular car driver, we're actually pretty friendly with each other, he's a nice guy.
"Hello Rachel" he greets me back.
When we pull up he tells me to be careful, yeah, I can't do that, but I thank him anyways, it's the thought that counts.
I knock on the door to my regular room that I go to and wait. The door opens and I almost drop dead right there in the hall.
"You bit-" I start but Finnick quickly covers my mouth with his hand and pulls me gently inside. He leads me down and sits me in a chair.
"Let me explain." He says while taking his hand off my mouth. I call him every bad thing I know, which is a lot since he taught me himself, until he stuffs a pillow in my mouth.
"I did this so you wouldn't have to, you're safe until next week, every night for a week it's just me, and we can just talk. Snow just said we have to come here, I lied to him, told him I did want you. I don't, just protecting you." He gets it out quickly. I just stare at him, my eyes wide as I process what he's telling me. Then I throw my arms around his next and start to cry, tears of joy.
"You're the best, you know that? The very best, I love you Finn."
"I figured" he shrugs through my hug. I hit him playfully, "shut up"
"What would we do if we don't talk?" he asks raising his eyebrows at me.
"Good point" I look up at him, since I'm still hugging him. That's when I really see his face for the first time. Like, actually see what it looks like. His strong features, his jawline, his bronze hair, his sea-green eyes. He's handsome, very. He might be the handsomest person I've ever seen.
"You have pretty eyes, you know that?" I tell him.
"Wow, if that was a come-on then it sucked." He laughs.
"It was an observation dumbo" I tease
"Did you know that the civilization before us made a movie in which dumbo was a freakishly large elephant with gigantic ears that made it fly?" He asks in a smart-ass tone.
"Reallyyyyyyyyy?" I inquire
"Yes" he grins.
We lie on the bed together two hours later still, thankfully fully clothed. Then something hits me, what will happen, when Finnick leaves? I'll go home, he will go to Four. I'll be alone, again. I look up at him, he's still watching me, a smile on his face.
"Finn?"
"Yeah."
"Don't leave me" I tell him
"What?" he doesn't understand
"Promise me, that you won't go and get yourself killed or anything. Cause, if I lose you, I don't know what I'd do" I fumble with my hands like I always do when I'm embarrassed. I feel Finnick's hand goes under my chin so I have to look him in the eyes, his wonderful eyes.
"I will never, never leave you" he says seriously.
-Finnick:
"I will never, never leave you" I tell her, she smiles at me. Damn, I want to kiss her, so bad I do, but I know I can't. Not here, not in this room were so many bad memories are for her. And not now, when the force of Peeta's death is getting stronger the closer it comes to being a year without him.
She's different, that much is certainly clear. Not once have we done a prank, not once has she had that amazing glint of light in her eyes. Sure, sometimes it's there, but never fully, never for more than a couple of seconds. Then the weight of her depression comes crashing down on her again.
I pull her closer to me, wrapping my arms around her.
"Why would I leave you?" I ask
"I don't know"
"Exactly, there is no reason, every year we'll both come back to mentor, every year I promise I'll be here for you."
-Rachel:
Twenty-four hours later the hovercraft touches down in Twelve, I hop out and make my way across the yard into my house. I wish someone came with me; it'll be a lonely night all by myself in this big house. And I feel bad, I looked for Finnick before I left but couldn't find him anywhere.
I stop by the phone and dial the number to our room back in the Capital.
"Hellooooooooo?" my drunken father answers; he had to stay back, because there has to be a Twelve mentor there.
"Hi Dad, I just got in."
"Oh, good, call me before you leave too kay?"
"Got it, wait, lik-"
"HEYYY RACHEL!" a different voice screams, I hear Haymitch swearing and other laughing.
"Hi Chaff, can I talk to Haymitch again you drunken bastard?" I laugh
"Well fine then" Chaff answers sadly
"Sorry" Haymitch mumbles.
"So like call right when I'm leaving the house?" I finish my question
"Ya, sure call then"
"Okay, bye then, love you"
"Love you too Rach" he says then there's a tone as the call in ended.
Later that night, after crying for about three hours, there's a knock at the door. I go over and answer it, Quil Mellark, Peeta's older brother, stands there. I greet him with a half-hearted smile. He sees my face, which is still red and marked by tears, and opens his arms. I go into them and allow him to comfort me. Quil smells like Peeta did freshly baked bread and dough. The smell brings even more tears to my eyes.
"We need to move on Rachel, we all do" he whispers, I just nod. "I know it's harder for you, maybe the hardest, even harder than my parents, because they've had something to keep them busy." He adds.
"I just, I just miss every second, of every day, so much" I sob. Quil strokes my back, he doesn't say a word, we just stand there.
"We used to tease him you know, we could tell he loved you, we teased him for being a wimp and not just asking you out already" Quil laughs at the memory, he doesn't seem sad, he seems happy about Peeta's death.
"Why are you happy?" I ask a little pissed at Quil. He steps back from our hug and puts his hands on my shoulders and looks me in the eyes.
"Look at it this way; he's free now. He doesn't have to obey any laws; he doesn't have to deal with peacekeepers or anything. He can do whatever he wants. And I bet he's painting millions and millions of pictures while he waits for you. Don't cha think?
I nod, it is better to look at it that way. Peeta has no troubles now, as I realize this, as I embrace this new realization, it feels like a weight has been lifted off of me. "I bet he is" I smile, an actually, real smile, I can picture Peeta being given a set of real paints and how he would be ecstatic about it. How that's all he would be talking about for weeks. "Thanks Quil"
"No problem, so I'll see you tomorrow?" he inquires
"Ya, I'll be there all day, when are you all going?" I ask
"Oh, sometime around ten" he shrugs.
"Okay, see you then" I nod to him; he hugs me one last time and tells me to stay strong and remember what he told me.
Seeing him walk away, I allow myself for a second to remember how that's Peeta looked when he left here. Every day I saw him leave, every day I wondered what it would be like if he didn't have to leave.
-Finnick:
I'm hoping this plan works. I've just arrived in District Twelve, which is super tiny compared to my home district. It smells of wood and pine too, and coal dust, lots of coal dust. I easily find Victor's Village. I go into the house that doesn't have any lights on. Rachel's in that one and I want to surprise her by showing up tomorrow. As I pass the house I stop, I hear her crying. I almost go and bolt to her, throw my arms around her and tell her everything will be alright. But I don't, because it's her time to mourn, and everything won't be alright, nothing can be "all right" in Panem.
I go into the house and drop my bag on the floor, I instantly go to sleep. Tomorrow I'll go visit Peeta, tomorrow I will, and I'll stay there all day long with her. So she has a shoulder to cry on.
-Rachel:
Even with Quil's advice in my head I can't help the depression and sadness that overwhelms me. Everything I see in the house brings back memories of him. He stood here. He ate dinner with Haymitch and I almost every night here. And in my bedroom more memories. He would come through that window to see if I was alright at night. He would lie on that spot on the bed and stay until I fell asleep. He drew that pattern on my wall one day while it was raining.
Everything reminds me of him, everything brings pain. I cry myself to sleep that night, only to relive when I held him while he died in my arms.