-Rachel:
"So I don't have to act strong?" I whisper.
"No, I'll love you however you are" he tells me. I wrap my arms around his and put my forehead on his chest. He buries his face in my hair; I can feel his breath on my neck. At first I try to hold it in, all the emotions that I've kept bottled up inside for a year. Not wanting to be weak, not wanting to bother others with my emotions.
"You can let it out" Finnick whispers.
With that I completely break down. The tears stream out, sobs overtake me. Finnick picks me up and we go and sit next to Peeta's grave. Finnick holds me in his lap as I cry into him.
"Every day I think of him, every day I wonder, if I" I can't continue
"you can tell me"
I nod, "if I didn't volunteer, maybe he'd be here. It's all my fault" I half yell. Finnick's arms tighten around me.
"No, it's not your fault, it's the Capitals fault. It's Cato's fault. If you two were the final two we were going to see if both of you could come out."
"really?" I ask half shocked.
"Really" he tells me, and I believe him.
Finnick lets me out of his arms and I go and hug Peeta's family, his two older brothers, his mother, and his father.
"We can't stay long" his father explains, his mom stands before the grave, his brothers on either side of her. They all hold hands, heads bowed. Peeta's father joins them, joining his family before their son, their brother, my best friend. Quil turns and offers his hand to me.
"You're part of our family" he smiles sadly at me. I go and take his hand, than bow my head to Peeta. And we stand in a semicircle, around Peeta. Remembering him, never forgetting him. Images of Peeta flood my mind.
In the spring, Peeta pointing out all the new types of flowers blooming. In the summer, as he runs through the meadow with me. In the fall, as we lie in the grass and admire the changing leaves. And in the winter, as the snow is falling outside and he stands outside in shorts and says he loves the feeling of snowflakes landing on his bare skin.
I feel gentle hands go over my shoulders as tears slip out of my eyes again.
That night Finnick and I eat at the Mellarks house. After dinner we all sit around the table, Peeta's father excuses himself for a second.
When he returns he's holding what looks to be two letters. He looks at me and holds them out towards me.
"They're for you, from Peeta. I was told not to give them to you until it's been a year. Now I can give them to you" he smiles. I slowly extend my hand and take them, I stare at the envelope. My name has been written there, by a steady hand, by Peeta's hand. I hand the other letter to Finnick, since his name is on it. I open mine, one page, front and back, are covered with Peeta's words for me. I read it to myself in my head:
Dear Rachel,
I love you, always. You know that, that's what we promised each other. Love always. I've been gone for a year now, I'm sure it's been hard for you. I know that if you died in there it would be unbearable. So, I know why you're not dead.
You have more to live for, just like I told you. Tell Finnick I say thanks, for giving you something to still live for. And Haymitch too. I think maybe if you died he would be the only reason for me to live. I would keep him alive, because he'd want to die too. We all would.
Because you're an amazing girl; the best girl. Sure, you can be pissy, you can be brutal, but that's what I love about you. I just want you to know, these past few days have been the best of my whole life.
I've always loved you, I know you love me. Since you caught me kissing that other girl. I could tell you had cried about it when I came in that night. I could tell when you strode up to her the next day and broke her nose in three different places. I didn't even know that was possible, but you can do the impossible.
The best part of my day would be seeing you at night. You have no idea how much I wanted to kiss you then. Now I can't remember why I didn't. It's my favorite thing to do. Kiss you, hold you close to me.
I'm the happiest person knowing I get to die in your arms, to die with you next to me. Because when I'm dying, you won't leave me. You won't just let me lie there, you'll make it special.
I have written a letter for Finnick too. Please give it to him. Just a thanks to him in my own words.
I'd like you to know. I'm watching you as I write this, your sleeping, we're almost to the Arena. In the morning I'll give these to Portia, with instructions for them not to be given to you until it's been a year.
And I want you to know two more things before this comes to a close. One; I want you to be happy, even if that means marrying someone else. My bet is Finnick. Because we'll see each other again. You can bet the world that when you die, the first person to greet you into heaven will be me. I'll fight through everyone else to be the first. And I'll hold you close, and I'll kiss you, and I'll never let go, I'll never leave your side. Never. Because the final thing I want to say is:
You'll always be mine, I'll always be yours. We're each other's, until the end of time.
Life passes fast, see you soon:
Peeta 3
I can feel the tears streaming down my face, I can feel the smile that covers my face ear to ear. I look over to Finnick; a smile is on his face too.
-Finnick:
I open my letter; I'm surprised I get one too. What could Peeta want me to know?
Dear Finnick,
I just wanted to thank you. For all that you've done and will do for her. I don't think you know just how much you already mean to her.
Whenever someone told her to tell a funny story, she'd tell one about you. Whenever someone asked who her best friend was. She'd say you and me. She always tells everyone you're her brother, whenever anyone would say anything bad about you; well, they soon had a broken bone.
Finnick, I know that Snow punishes victors. Please, whatever he makes her do; protect her. Cause if you don't, she'll give up, she's not as strong as she seems. Brutal? Yeah, it's awesome. But strong? No, not that.
Thanks Finn. For everything. Keep her safe for me, so she comes back to me happily.
Your friend,
Peeta.
I smile, it's a nice letter. And I never knew I meant that much to Rachel. I wonder how many bones she's broken for me?
I look over her now, that's when I notice another slip of paper in the envelope for her. I take it out, there's a few music notes on it.
"Rach," I hand her the music. She stares at it, then her eyes have tears in them again. She looks over to Peeta's mother,
"can I use the piano?" she asks.
"Oh course, you and Peeta were the only ones who played it" Mrs. Mellark smiles.
I follow Rachel, along with everyone else, over to an old piano. She sets the music on front and starts to play. It's beautiful, but it gets even better when she starts to sing, I've didn't know she sang.
"Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow
One step closer
I have died every day waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more"
She looks back at me and smiles, her old brilliant smile, she's not crying. She's happy, as happy as I've seen her in a while. I can tell this song means a lot to her. She looks back to the keys and continues her song. It's amazing, because Peeta had only written two lines of music, but she knows the rest by heart.
"Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this
One step closer
I have died every day waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more"
I go and put my hands on her shoulders, she smiles at me again.
"One step closer
One step closer
I have died every day waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more"
She takes her hands off the keys; Peeta's family is smiling at her too. They've heard her sing before; it makes me, jealous of them knowing they got to hear it before I did. She's amazing, I wonder if Haymitch even knows she can do this.
Before we go back to her house we go to see Peeta one last time. She stands in front of his gravestone, a smile on her face. I go behind her and wrap my arms around her, she hugs my arms.
"I'll keep her safe for you Peeta" I whisper. We stand there in silence for a while.
"See you soon Peeta" she laughs softly, than we turn and go back to her house.
-Rachel:
I lie in bed that night, Finnick is next to me. His arms around me, he's awake still, he won't go to sleep until I'm sleeping.
"I love you" he tells me, I go closer to him and feel his breath on my skin and then he kisses my cheek.
"Love you too Finn" I smile.
Then something hits me, one single word that could be a big problem. Haymitch.
"Finn?"
"Yeah?" he asks
"What will we do about Haymitch?"
"That's a good question, I guess we'll try to hide it, as long as we can then slowly break it to him."
"Yeah, because you're sure to just sit nicely next to me anytime Haymitch is around" I tease,
"Well, than I guess he'll just have to deal with it."
"Finn, he doesn't like you that much." I point out to him.
"Well, he'll get used to me, besides, if he attacks me for loving you than I can deal with him."
"Okay, we'll see how that turns out"