Well, there were very mixed views on who won the Gwen vs Courtney battle. In the end, it was exactly tied: 8 thought Courtney won, 8 thought Gwen won. So, seems the battle was somewhat more even than the first two. Now, Harold vs Duncan was a much requested battle, so here it is. Get ready! Also, the next chapter of my other story, Total Drama Returns, shouldn't be too much longer. I'm sorry it's taking so long. Lots of school work, I'll tell you that much.
Language Warning: VERY high T. Some very violent stuff from Duncan. And a very complicated word from Harold.
Epic Rap Battles of Total Drama!
Harold! (Shows Harold picking his nose)
V.S.
Duncan! (Shows Duncan cracking his knuckles and smirking)
…
Begin!
Harold
The name's Harold McGraty, and my mom says I'm the bomb,
If you try to take me down, I'll just go and respawn!
I never went to prom! But I seriously doubt you did,
You're like a jar of bastard paste, and no one's closed, the lid!
You're just an idiotic con! You'll never be a man again,
You're afraid of Seline Dion! A frickin' store mannequin!
Now you better get your chess on! Cause I'm, the king,
And you're nothing but a pawn! Shows what bad behavior can bring.
How would you like it if someone squished a burrito in your shorts?
The mess would be equal to the times you've been in court!
When douches laugh at me, well, I just diss em,
With words like antidisestablishmentarianism!
Duncan
Dude, did your mouth, just have a creepy dweeb spasm?
You're messed up! Reading a dictionary gives you an orgasm!
For that, I think I get to push you into a chasm!
It's where you belong, you ding with no dong!
What else can I say? You own a man thong.
You belong in a dumpster, not in Total Drama,
I've got a goddess named Gwen! You've got a man named Leshawna!
And you drool over her more than a geeky-ass llama!
Your voice sounds like someone kicked an asthmatic frog in the balls,
You'll never get a girl with those stupid bird calls!
How about some more hot sauce in those undies of yours?
Your nose is clogged up almost as much as your pores!
And what's with the stains on your Hanes? (pause) For that, I think, you deserve some pain!
So I'll stick your finger so far up nose that it punctures your brain!
Maybe some balls you'll gain!
Harold
Gosh! You're such an idiot, you barbaric bimbo bastard!
Sure, you've got a few skillz, but H-bomb can rap faster!
Duncan moronus, or more commonly known,
As a douche who breaks bones cause his dick hasn't grown!
You make fun of my glasses, but they let me see in high-def,
When I kick bastard's asses! Don't worry, you're next.
And thanks for the pranks, but it's time for the payback,
Stay back! Take a look, at my awesome eight pack!
I know the quadratic formula, but that still can't explain now,
The point of your ugly-ass unibrow! Pow!
I can rewire watches, and get the beeyotches,
With my mad-charming skills, and my World of Warcraft kills!
Sure you won Total Drama Action, but that is just a fraction,
Of what I've achieved in life! All you've achieved is subtraction!
Duncan
Subtracting still won me ten times the hundred grand, bitch.
You want a gourmet meal? How bout an underwear sandwich?
Whenever you talk, geeky shit just sprays out,
And it hits non-nerdy innocents with its dorky gunk spout!
So I'll shut you up with my foot in your face,
Then in a fast pace, punch you into deep space!
Speaking of which, how does my foot taste?
So stop with the hating! There is no debating!
You give TV its very worst ratings,
With your constant male menstruating!
And why the fuck do you do figure skating?
Don't you see the gayness it is creating?
Have you ever heard of mating? (pause) With something besides a snail?
It'll be first contact when you're dating, the species they call female!
Who won? Who's next? You decide! Please review!